The Bullpen Car is Returning to Major League Baseball!

ESPN – The bullpen car is coming back after being gone for an entire generation of baseball fans. The Arizona Diamondbacks will use a helmet-clad golf cart for the first time since the vehicle left Major League Baseball more than two decades ago. “I think it wore out its welcome,” Diamondbacks president and CEO Derrick Hall said. “There were these new stadiums, and the focus shifted to the guys running through gates and onto the mound. We think the time is right to bring it back.” Hall said the Diamondbacks purchased two golf carts and had them retrofitted with big caps by SportsKartz, a company in Tampa, Florida. It’s not all for tradition. The Diamondbacks sold a sponsorship to OnTrac, a West Coast courier service, which will receive branding on the vehicles. “An ancillary benefit might be that it could speed up the game,” Hall said. “I expect a lot of teams to follow suit.”

Make Baseball Fun Again. One of the greatest idiosyncrasies of baseball was that the relief pitchers would get ferried from the bullpen to the goddamn mound like they were Xerxes invading Sparta.

I don’t want my Closer expending any energy at all commuting to work. Let the guy save his bullets for when the action really matters on the mound. It would seem the bullpen car was invented more out of necessity than entertainment.

“Nobody ran in from the bullpen,” said Dick Stigman, who pitched for the Cleveland Indians, Minnesota Twins and Boston Red Sox in the 1960s. “I don’t think we could’ve made it. We all smoked.”

Now its back and I could not be more excited. Of course we have to be careful of rogue mascots driving like total assholes:

Or the Marshawn Lynch’s of the world just running people down:

But aside from that I think we’re in for a renaissance. Will this speed up the game of baseball? Almost certainly not! What it will do though is encourage less and less conditioning among relief pitchers. Hopefully to the point that guys like El Guapo and Bartolo are a more common sight than a workout warrior like AJ Ramos.

Just like the good old days, when men smoked cigarettes in the dugout and drank whiskey in between at-bats. Health and well being be damned, Make Baseball Fun Again.


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