O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.
I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.
Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.
Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle.
I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.
Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?
S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?
Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.