The 300s “No One Named Eli Has Ever Been Good At Anything” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 7

I’m busy at work and mad at fantasy football so all I have to say is go Sox and enjoy the fantasy takes.


Having the second-least amount of points in the league and the most points scored against is just not a good combo. Got an almost 40-berger out of Mitchell Trubisky as a streamer and still lost by almost 80 to the league’s top scorer. At least I have an extra second-rounder next year, and it’s looking like Kerryon Johnson is going to be a stud sixth-round keeper (179 yards of total offense this week). I’m just trying not to finish last at this point.

Had a great week in my other league, but – you guessed it! – I ran into the week’s high-scorer. Got 70 points out of my receivers alone, though, and now that Arizona has someone competent running the offense I’m hoping David Johnson has a little second-half resurgence.  Also, it looks like I’m not going to lose Sony Michel for the year after all, and I was somehow able to snag Tarik Cohen last week, who has three-straight 20-plus point games. I’m 4-3 and feeling good about things to come.


Papa G

In a shocking turn of events, I continued my hot streak to go 3-0 again this week. Beat Red by a solid 3 points thanks to Julio Jones. A special thanks to the New York Giants for being a dumpster fire and making this all possible. In one of my other leagues I won by .14 points so luck was on my side this week. Fully expect to nose dive soon enough though.



I would like to thank Ezekiel Elliott for murdering any chances I had this week in both of my leagues with a whopping 5 points. How bout them Cowboys indeed. Also, shoutout to Papa Giorgio for beating me by 3 points on garbage time stats in the 4th quarter of Monday Night Football. 


Big Z

Picked up a 98-81 win in Week 7 to improve to 4-3 and move into a tie for third place in my league. James White and the New England D/ST came up big for me. Of course it didn’t hurt that my opponent wasn’t up for the London game in time to bench Melvin Gordon who was out.

My only gripe comes from the TE position. I’ve got Eric Ebron and George Kittle. They both seem to be boom or bust, and I’ve yet to figure how to play the right guy any given week. At least it didn’t cost me a win in Week 7, and gets me a little bit closer to the Bench Points Championship


Joey B

My team is just awful and I lost by 20 to fall to 3-4. Whatever.



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