WHO IS RUNNING SEGA??

I texted Giorgio about it and he didn’t have a much warmer reaction: “Thats an IP killer. We may never get another Sonic game again.”

I was always a big SEGA guy growing up, more so than the original Playstation (released in 1994) or even Nintendo (1985). The SEGA Genesis came out in 1989 and my next favorite system N64 didn’t come out until 1996. I was even one of the 9 people that owned a SEGA CD system!

So there were some real solid years in there as a young kid with classics like Mortal Kombat 2, Altered Beast, Golden Axe, Streets of Rage, Vector Man. And that doesn’t include the downright impossible to beat games like Echo the Dolphin (fuck that game) and The Lion King.

All of those obviously pale in comparison to the GOAT SEGA game franchise of course; Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, Sonic 2, Sonic 3 were all great games. Sonic & Knuckles was awesome because it was basically the first DLC expansion pack I’ve ever seen, introducing Knuckles and the power of flight into those old Sonic games. Sonic CD also had some AWESOME moments like the Metal Sonic boss that mimics all your moves, which was quite the mind fuck for a 7 year old.

So long story short I am a Sonic stan. I most recently relapsed into Sonic fandom with Sonic Mania for Nintendo Switch. SEGA has been run so incompetently they haven’t been able to make a successful game with their most popular IP since Sonic Adventures on Dreamcast.

That was 1998. It’s been 20 years guys. SEGA basically sunk their hardware company because of this and are now forced to lease out their IP as they’ve essentially transitioned into a software company that only develops games.

The story around Sonic Mania is actually one of my favorites because it shows just how bad it had gotten for SEGA. There was this one guy Christian Whitehead AKA Taxman who was porting Sonic games and tweaking the levels on his own and then releasing them online for people to play for free. Via his Wikipedia page:

In 2009, Whitehead produced a “proof-of-concept” video of Sonic CD running on an iPhone using his own custom engine, the “Retro Engine”…Whitehead proclaims that he spent “about a year or so” convincing Sega to let him work on the Sonic CD port. In 2009, a video regarding Sonic CD from Whitehead was taken down, leading Eurogamer to report that Whitehead possibly faced a cease and desist letter from Sega, which Whitehead claimed was false. The port was released for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, iPhone and Android in 2011. His port was so successful that he was later commissioned to port Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 to mobile devices…In 2017, Whitehead, in collaboration with Headcannon and PagodaWest Games, developed and released their own original title in the Sonic series, titled Sonic Mania.

Now I have to give SEGA some credit here because rather than sue his balls off they ended up just hiring the guy and letting him lead the production of the game that ultimately became Sonic Mania. The game itself is excellent too because just when you get comfortable and start to remember the level structure it completely changes and your thrown into something you’ve never seen, so its way more than a port. Its like playing Sonic on acid.

So for all my love of Sonic it breaks my heart to say this movie looks like the first and probably last Sonic movie we’ll ever see. When I first heard about the idea I said theres no way a live action Sonic movie could ever work, but then I saw the trailers for the live action Pokemon movie and it changed my mind completely. The problem is the CGI in the Pokemon movie is incredible whereas the CGI in the Sonic movie is garbage.

Sonic is legitimately haunting.

How did they get that out of this?

I will say Jim Carrey is probably one of the best choices to play a wacky video game villain (doesn’t mean it’ll be good), but I can’t have skinny Dr. Robotnik, can’t have it.

It looks terrible, but because nostalgia is the most powerful drug not named heroin, I probably will go out for a few beers and wind up seeing it out of morbid curiosity. If you’re a sick person like me, Sonic the Hedgehog comes out on November 8th.