General

Xbox is Releasing a Line of Shampoo and Body Spray. Where Was This When I Was 13?

Gamespot – What does Xbox smell like? You may soon be able to find out. Just ahead of E3 2019, Microsoft has partnered with Lynx to create a new fragrance called Lynx Xbox. The range includes body spray, deodorant, and shower gel, so really all of your bases are covered.

The official description is simply delightful:

“Lynx Xbox is a fresh scent of pulsing green citrus, featuring top notes of kaffir lime and winter lemon, aromatic herbal middle notes of mint and sage, and woody bottom notes of patchouli and clearwood. Containing a range of natural essential oils, the Xbox Lynx range comes with a sleek new look and features a body spray, deodorant, and shower gel.”

Xbox ANZ boss Tania Chee said in a statement that users can spray or wash themselves with Xbox Lynx to “power up” before heading out the door in the morning.

Where was this when I was a teenager playing Halo with that ungodly chunky black controller in my buddy’s dimly lit basement for 6 hours at a time? Seems like that would have been a pretty good time for Xbox deoderant. Just sell the game in a value pack along with Xbox body spray, 3D Doritos, and Monster energy drinks. I know its all the rage to shit on “Kyle” these days as the imaginary bro character who loves guzzling Monsters and punching holes in walls.

You know…come to think of it, nobody punched more holes in drywall than Papa Giorgio himself. I’m talking hanging the hammer in the wall senior year and hanging a poster to cover all the holes. Hell we even made a bet on FIFA one time in college that the loser had to kick a hole in the wall with my steel toe boots. I need to go dig up my old Nokia phone to see if that video still exists.

In all seriousness though, all this Xbox and Halo talk has me feeling all sorts of nostalgic.

Categories: General, Video Games

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