Patriots

N’Keal Harry Was Not Happy One Iota Regarding the Patriots Rookie Head Shaving Ritual

Arizonasports.com It appears former Arizona State Sun Devils wide receiver N’Keal Harry is not aware of some of his potential rookie duties coming soon in the NFL.

While joining “Fair Game with Kristine Leahy” on Fox Sports 1, Harry was asked by Leahy which bad haircut he would rather have.

Harry was perplexed by the oddity of the question coming out of nowhere, which left Leahy compelled to make sure he knew of the New England Patriots’ tradition of giving rookies terrible haircuts.

Crushed. Devastated. Inconsolable beyond belief. Those are just a words and phrases to describe N’Keal Harry’s face in the screenshot from this interview. He looks like a friend-zoned kid who took the girl he’s secretly had a deep, profound crush on to the prom “as friends” only to have to watch her dance with someone else, possibly with some roaming hands involved.

I myself, like a couple of other folks here at The 300s, take my hair seriously. It’s a part of how I present myself. But I see Harry as someone who truly sees it as part of his identity. And now at the hands of Dont’a Hightower, Julian Edelman, Patrick Chung or otherwise ruthlessly mischievous veteran, his identity may just be male pattern baldness or whatever the inverse of a high top fade is. Someone might just yell out “GIVE HIM THE HAIRCUT VERSION OF THE UPSIDE DOWN” and leave it to the pro football player/amateur barber to interpret.

I for one enjoy me a little hazing as long as it doesn’t cross the line into assault, which this doesn’t. For these guys their lives now need to be about the team and football, not their hair, which is what this ritual represents in a way. So my advice to a man such as N’Keal Harry is to, in a way, cherish the atrocities about to be committed to your luscious locks, as only a very select people ever achieve the greatness necessary to earn it.

And then there are some people like Rex Burkhead who are genetically predisposed to avoid it altogether. That probably sucks worse.

-Joey B.

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