College Football

Noted College Football Innovator Mike Leach Debates Which Teams Can Beat His Based On Mascot

Remember in college (at least for me) there were a couple of shows that caught fire purely because they were, to use more modern terminology, “bingeable/bingeworthy”? There was something golden about when you could kick back because SpikeTV or USA or MTV2 put Show XYZ on marathon mode and you were able to kill time between classes by watching a few hours of it.

One of those shows was called the “Deadliest Warrior” and it was probably the easiest pitch in the history of pitches given that SpikeTV was dying to be the ultimate haven for bro entertainment back then. All whoever created this show had to do was stride into a roomful of execs and ask the question, “Ever wonder who’d win in a fight between a prohibition-era gangster with a tommy gun and an Apache warrior…WELL NOW YOU CAN.”

It was somehow very analytical (maybe quasi-very analytical if that makes sense) and completely mindless. It was fucking glorious. They’d break down the skills, weaponry, and tactics of two groups of “warriors” from two different time periods and then decide who would win. Experts, including one who was basically a ninja with a medical degree, would slice, dice, and shoot anatomically-similar models of the human body to see what kind of damage was really being doneby what/whoever was being studied. A lot of people got dressed up in all sorts of costumes to act like these combatants. It was priceless. It would neverrrr get put on air today. But we loved it.

Anyway, count Mike Leach as someone who was clearly also a fan. In this video he debates who would beat his Washington State COUGARS just based on what their mascot is. Cal and UCLA have bears, that’s a toughy. Oregon State and their beavers? WELL HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY UNDER WATER?! GOTCHA!

We all knew Leach obsessively studies, among other things, pirates in order to provide him with the intellectual strategy to scheme up 18 wide receiver sets and make guys like Colt Brennan look like Tom Brady. Now we also know he takes into consideration just what creature or creation he is staring down from across the field as he goes to the dark recesses of his brain to manifest his opponents doom.

Next. Level. Stuff.

-Joey B

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