Tom Brady May Have Had a Few Cocktails at the Bucs Super Bowl Parade


Tom Brady is HAMMERED and I love it. Throw in some of those forbidden nightshades and this man seems prepared to go on a Mike Napoli-esque bender.

As an adult with a fully functioning brain I am here to tell you the only thing better than day drinking is day drinking on a boat floating down the river. I’ve done the whole pontoon thing a couple of times in Chicago, which is the poor person equivalent of a Super Bowl boat parade, but it is the only way to drink in the summer. Not to mention Tom rolled up in his own $2 million dollar boat like an absolute legend.

I have to admit, I’ve been to a bunch of championship parades, albeit normally while freezing my ass off, so I’m not gonna complain, BUT this 80 degree boat parade seems like the way to do it.

Brady deserves to really let loose like this. His mentor/boss/coach for the last 20 years essentially forced him out of town because he thought he was done. So Brady goes down to Florida, becomes the de facto player-coach, makes the playoffs, goes through Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers, and Patrick Mahomes, wins the Super Bowl, and yet another SB MVP. As I said the other day, I don’t think it’s humanly possible to feel more vindicated than Tom Brady feels right now. So enjoy this parade my man, you just dragged the corpse of a loser franchise to the pinnacle of football and somehow reached yet another level of personal legacy. The GOAT, indeed.

Oh and yes, everyone in or around this massive, maskless aquatic celebration is probably going to get Covid.

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