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Big Z

The Bruins are Done

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The Boston Bruins will not win the Stanley Cup this year. The Boston Bruins will not even advance to the second round of the playoffs. Sure, they could win tonight. You could even make the argument that they should be leading this series. But they will not get out of the first round of the playoffs this year.

I have come to accept this fact. Through the five stages of grief, you can join me in accepting this fact. Then we can move on to Chris Sale Red Sox season.

Denial
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Anger
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Bargaining
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Depression
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Acceptance
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PS – The Celtics are screwed too.

’90s Food Crushing it on eBay

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TIME – A 20-year-old dipping sauce from McDonald’s sold for nearly $15,000 after a mention in the show Rick and Morty.

A listing for the Szechuan sauce, which was released as a promotional product for the Disney movie Mulan, closed with a winning bid of $14,700.
Back in January I said “the hassle to mail a bottle of salad dressing didn’t seem worth the fifty-odd bucks I’d probably pocket after fees and shipping,” after scoring a bottle of Big Mac sauce. I may have misunderestimated.
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I’m reluctant to buy groceries on eBay. I can’t forget what happened to the dude who drank the 20-year-old bottle of Crystal Pepsi. But after all the research that’s been wasted conducted on McDonald’s burgers and fries that don’t rot, I’d be comfortable making an exception for McDonald’s food on eBay.

All that being said, $15k on McNugget dipping sauce is asinine. I’ve got a half empty bottle of teriyaki sauce in my fridge right now that I’d be happy to part with for $4500. I could even draw the golden arches on it with a Sharpie if you’d like. I’m sure my grandmother has some sugar packets hanging around from the late ’90s too. I’ll throw a few in just as a bonus.

But the bottom line is that any food product that was even halfway decent in the ’90s will get brought back at some point. Wonder how this guy will feel about coughing up $15k when this stuff hits stores again next fall. And I thought the Weymouth McDonald’s charging 25 cents for sauce was a crime.

This Week Has Sucked

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The past five days have seen tragedy, blowout losses, bad calls and shocking news in the Boston sports pages. I’m not trying to compare and conflate real world tragedies and the ultimately inconsequential outcomes of professional sporting events. But the last five days have not been much fun as a Boston sports fan.

 

Hopefully bluer skies lie ahead for everyone. Though if it’s cloudy in Toronto, they can close the roof at the Sky Dome and Chris Sale can still strike out 20 tomorrow. That would be okay too.

A Lot of Good Things Have Happened on April 16

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We can’t go without mentioning that today is the 17th anniversary of the Patriots drafting Tom Brady. Only two other players drafted in 2000 remain active in the NFL – kicker Sebastian Janikowski and punter Shane Lechler.

The day Tom Brady was drafted was also Bill Belichick’s 48th birthday. That means BB turns 65 today.

And let’s not forget the great pizza toss of 2007. Here is the full “Here comes the pizza” incident a decade later.

Sports Arenas Just Don’t Last as Long as They Used To

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Big news out of Detroit this past weekend where the Red Wings closed Joe Louis Arena on Sunday and the Pistons closed The Palace of Auburn Hills on Monday. The Red Wings began playing at Joe Louis Arena in 1979 and the Pistons began playing at the Palace in 1988. After missing the playoffs, both teams will move into the new Little Caesars Arena in downtown Detroit this fall.

Joe Louis Arena lasted 38 years while The Palace lasted just 29 years. The Atlanta Braves will open SunTrust Park on Friday night after just 20 seasons at Turner Field, and the Texas Rangers are looking to get out of the Ballpark in Arlington, which opened in 1994, as soon as 2020.

The fact that sports arenas don’t last as long as they used to is especially obvious to Boston sports fans. Fenway Park has been going strong for more than a hundred years and the Boston Garden lasted 67 years.

Even Foxboro Stadium, a true dump built on a shoestring $7 million budget, lasted 31 years. Compare that to serviceable, if not lavish, football stadiums like the Silverdome, the Metrodome and the Georgia Dome. None of these stadiums lasted more than 32 years and have either been demolished or await the wrecking ball. At least Foxboro Stadium was cheap.

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This is quite the turnaround for the city of Detroit. Tiger Stadium opened the same day Fenway Park opened, and the Tigers played there for the remainder of the 20th century. Their new home, Comerica Park, opened in 2000. With the Lions moving to Ford Field in 2002, and now the Red Wings and Pistons moving to Little Caesars Arena this fall, all four Detroit professional sports teams will play in buildings opened this century. All within walking distance of each other! What recession?

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While The Palace only last 29 years, it did outlast a lot of other venues built in that era. The Miami Heat lasted only 11 seasons in Miami Arena, which opened in 1988, and the Charlotte Hornets/Bobcats only got a combined 13 seasons out of the Charlotte Coliseum, which opened in 1986.

Maybe Boston is lucky they didn’t get a new Garden sooner. Arenas from the late ’80s and early ’90s have not aged well. The new Garden, which opened in 1995, still looks pretty good more than 20 years later. The United Center in Chicago and Verizon Center in D.C., which also opened in the mid ’90s, have aged similarly well.

Meanwhile in Minnesota, the Timberwolves play in the Target Center in Minneapolis while the Wild plays in the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul. The Target Center, which opened in 1990, looks like the Worcester Civic Center compared to the Xcel Energy Center. The Xcel Energy Center opened in 2000, and still looks like it opened yesterday. The Target Center, just 10 years older, is in the midst of a $130 million upgrade.

It’s been said that Camden Yards changed baseball when it opened in 1992. Twenty-five years later, it is still one of the top venues in the sport. Maybe its impact was not limited just to baseball stadiums, though.

With the influx of concerts and hockey games at baseball stadiums, and shopping centers and NCAA Tournament games at football stadiums, teams (and in some instances, cities and states) are trying to get people to their venues as many days a year as possible. They are no longer game-day only operations. Hopefully that will allow (and encourage) the stadiums of this era to last a little bit longer than their predecessors.

That Was Quick – Clay Buchholz Already Injured in Philly

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philly.com – Clay Buchholz flung a 70-mph pitch. It bounced before it reached home plate. The veteran starter shook his right arm. And that was it…

Buchholz suffered a right forearm strain, the team said. A gruesome night turned morbid when Buchholz, who allowed six runs to the Mets in 2 1/3 innings, walked to the dugout with a team athletic trainer during the third inning Tuesday.

The 32-year-old righthander, acquired last December in a $13.5 million dump by Boston, owns a 12.27 ERA after two starts with the Phillies.

It could be some time before his next appearance.

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It’s impossible to say that Buchholz would have gotten injured in Boston if the Red Sox hadn’t traded him. I wouldn’t have bet against it, though.

In ten years with the Red Sox, Buchholz only made more than 30 appearances once. That was in 2016 when he made 16 appearances out of the bullpen. He only made more than 20 starts in four of his ten seasons with the Red Sox.

Dave Dombrowski wouldn’t bet against Buchholz getting hurt, either. At the time of the Buchholz trade Dombrowski was lambasted for a “salary dump.” Scott Lauber wrote “Miss Buchholz yet? At some point, the Red Sox will.” Tony Massarotti called guys like me celebrating his exit “short-sighted fools.”

Sure thing, guys.

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Airlines Behaving Badly

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USA Today – United Airlines came under fire on social media Monday after video emerged of a man being violently dragged off of an overbooked flight out of Chicago.

Video of the incident, posted online by Audra D. Bridges at 7:30 p.m. Sunday, shows the man screaming as he is dragged off of the plane by what appears to be security personnel.

The way United Airlines treated this man was reprehensible. The 300s strongly opposes passengers being violently dragged off of commercial flights. What’s that, you have four employees you need to fly from Chicago to Louisville? That sounds like a you problem, United, not a me problem.

That being said, the Twitter tough guys saying they are going to boycott United is laughable. If you fly once a year, your business won’t be missed. Also, anyone who pays for their own flight (i.e., not business travelers) who says they wouldn’t book United over another airline to save even one buck is lying. All airlines suck, so I always choose the cheapest flight. I am loyal to my wallet.

Also, this flight was from Chicago to Louisville. A quick check of Google Maps reveals that this is a drive of just over four hours. I won’t even consider flying if the drive is less than eight hours.

If you left Chicago at the same time this plane was scheduled to take off, you would’ve been halfway across Indiana by the time it actually did take off after a two hour delay. If you left your house the same time these passengers left for the airport, you would have beaten them to Louisville. Even without the two hour delay, you wouldn’t get to your destination in Louisville much later after accounting for time to get off the plane and grab your luggage.

This could be a great experiment for The 300s. I drive, you fly. We both leave the house at noon, see who gets their first. Big Z is #TeamCar all day every day.