After a long weekend of sun, grilling, and boozing, godspeed to anyone else struggling right now at their desk in the cubes. Nothing more sobering than a post-Labor Day haze when you realize that summer is officially over. The only thing that helps me not want to kill myself is commiserating with others so I give you the best of Office Space to get you through this trying time.
Red
Today is the 10 Year Anniversary of the Clay Buchholz No Hitter
Oh what could have been.
If you’re anything like me you’ll remember how AMPED you were that the Red Sox had this starting rotation signed and sealed for years:
- Josh Beckett
- Jon Lester
- John Lackey
- Clay Buchholz
Now obviously, like Clay’s career, things did not go as expected. Buchholz was going to be the next ace of the staff, throwing a no-hitter in his second career start, but his career was defined by maddening inconsistency and of course injuries. Clay currently has a 4.01 career ERA and is currently on the DL for the Phillies, which is a microcosm for him as a whole. The guy would routinely go on a 6-week run of dominance sporting a 2 ERA before going into the tank for the rest of the season. Like clockwork.
We’ll always have that no-hitter though, Clay.
Dice-K 2.0 Watch is ON as the Red Sox are in on Japanese Phenom Prospect Shohei Otani
NESN – It appears the Boston Red Sox want a seat at the table of the Shohei Otani sweepstakes. The Red Sox are one of many MLB teams to express interest in the highly-touted Japanese pitcher/outfielder, according to multiple reports. The Sox and New York Yankees have the most international allotment money in the majors — $8 million apiece — and thus are in the best position to pursue a player like Otani, per Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports. And according to Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports and The Athletic, Boston and New York are among 13 teams who have requested to scout Otani in person.
Tomato/to-mah-toh. While some may see Dice-K 2.0 others may see a pitcher/outfielder who excels at both and think of the immortal Casey Kelley! Another can’t miss prospect who was so good at pitching and playing the field that he ended up being good at neither as a pro.
The Sox have been gearing up for a move like this though as they are tied for the most international allotment money in the majors at $8M. Tied with the goddamn Yankees to boot.
So you know the Red Sox are just itching to throw some money at a sexy foreign prospect because they have such a great track record with expensive international players like Dice-K and colossal bust Rusney Castillo. Boston tends to fare better with smaller deals when dipping its toe into the international pool with guys like Junichi Tazawa and Hideki Okajima. We did also get guys like Xander Bogaerts and Yoan Moncada (top prospect in MLB despite his early career struggles).
Obviously the Sox aren’t going to shun the international market, nor should they, because of a few (HUGE) swings and misses, but I am a little reluctant to give another gigantic payday to an unknown player because he’s mowing down 140 pound Japanese guys halfway across the world.
Either way Shohei Otani played in the WBC for Japan and currently plays in the Nippon Pro Baseball League (just like ya boy Dice-K) and is straight up DOMINATING.
“He started 20 games on the mound for the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters in 2016, tallying a 10-4 record and a 1.86 ERA. He also has thrown the fastest recorded pitch in NPB history, at 102 mph. Otani excelled as a hitter last season, as well, posting a .322 batting average with 22 home runs and 67 RBIs in 2014 games played.”
So definitely someone to keep an eye on, especially if David Price continues to circle the drain amidst his $217 DL stint. Shohei Otani watch is ON!
PS – Fun fact. A few years ago I made the pilgrimage to Queens to check out Citi Field as the Mets were playing the Red Sox. And who was on the mound? Yup, Dice-K. Didn’t even realize he was still in the league. How’d he do you ask? Left the game due to injury of course. What a career.
Cleveland Cavs Can’t Hustle the Ultimate Hustler in Danny Ainge
Koby Altman: The Cleveland Cavaliers request Jayson Tatum to complete the Kyrie Irving trade.
Danny Ainge: Now wait a goddamn minute. Thats not part of the bargain.
Kevin Durant’s “Cupcake” Shoe is an A+ Troll Job
The KD Red Velvet. What a gigantic FUCK YOU to the haters. Oh you want to call me a cupcake for leaving the Thunder? Welp, guess what I’ll take that shit straight to the bank and make a damn brand out of it.
Slap it on some fresh Nike’s and KD just made a few million dollars. Have to respect that. Doesn’t hurt that these shoes are actually fire too. The Red Velvet color scheme with the sprinkled frosting soles? Sign me up.
You know this is just driving Russell Westbrook NUTS too. Prob saw this on Twitter and got up in the middle of the night to put up 1,000 jump shots. I just imagine Westbrook like Sideshow Bob in prison just solely obsessed with killing Bart for ruining his life.
If the Thunder don’t win a title soon Russ legitimately may murder KD. And they’ll point to the Nike Cupcake troll job as the breaking point.
Kyrie Irving Wanted Out of Cleveland Because LeBron is a Massive Dickhead
As this trade languishes in GM negotiation purgatory I just wanted to circle back on some of the criticism of this deal. After the trade became public a lot of people were asking what does it say about Kyrie Irving if he wants off one of the 2 best teams in the NBA? If it were any other team and any other situation I would probably be asking the same question. Why does this guy want to leave a team thats been to the Finals 3 straight years and won a title just last year? Why would you want to leave that situation?
Except this is not any team. This is LeBron’s team and the guy is probably such an insufferable asshole that I don’t blame Kyrie Irving one bit for saying enough is enough.
If LeBron does leave after this coming season, that Cavs team would be in shambles having completely built itself on LeBron’s every whim. A team with stiffs like JR Smith and Richard Jefferson on the squad purely because they compliment LeBron’s game. So Kyrie said screw this I’m out, I’m not dealing with LBJ and I’m certainly not cleaning up his mess once he bounces.
I mean just take a look at this CBS Boston article that dutifully went back and pulled quotes from LeBron immediately after winning the title last year.
“LeBron was then asked about the comeback from a 3-1 series deficit and specifically what changed in Game 5. He said: “Just locked in. I had to change my approach a little bit in how I approached the game. I wasn’t that good in the first two games in this building [in Golden State]. I watched a lot of film, detailed it out, changed my blueprint, and was able to put together some spectacular games after being down 3-1.”
A LOOOT of “I’s” in there. I did this. I did that. I had some spectacular games. Puke city. Especially since these quotes came not 10 minutes after Kyrie saved his ass with an absolute dagger of a three in the final minute of Game 7.
Ya know, while LeBron was bricking shots left and right down the stretch.
So, hey is it a little petty to be complaining about not getting more credit for your role in winning a championship? Sure, but I’m not gonna hold that against a guy. Kyrie seems hyper competitive and wants the keys to the car. Not to mention, the thought of these two guys teeing off on each other opening night and in the playoffs has me all tingly inside. I’m just giddy thinking about the passive aggressive subtweets LeBron is gonna throw out there after the Celtics take Game 1. LETS GO.
Barry Zito Surprises No One by Saying He Loves Music More Than He Ever Loved Baseball
Yahoo – The former pitcher for the Oakland Athletics and San Francisco Giants has fully transitioned from a life in baseball to a life making music (he released his first EP of six songs back in January, and it reached No. 39 on the Billboard country chart),..Oh, and he laid down this blazing hot personal take on his post-baseball life. “I think I’m just genuinely more in love with what I do now than I probably ever have been.” That’s a bold statement for a guy who won a Cy Young award, went to three All-Star Games, and won some very important postseason contests — including a World Series game that led to a ring. But Zito’s career had a lot of ups and downs. He was left off the 2010 postseason roster, and that Giants team went on to win the World Series. He had some bad years, and didn’t pitch at all in 2014. Then he spent most of 2015 pitching for the A’s Triple-A team in Nashville.
Barry Zito is without a doubt in the Hall of Fame for mailing it in. This is a guy who had a couple of DOMINANT seasons for the Oakland Athletics, won a Cy Young in 2002 with that absolutely filthy curveball.
Then he cashed IN with a $126 million contract from the San Francisco Giants. In 2006 Zito’s deal was the largest contract for a pitcher ever (LOL David Price got $217 million 10 years later). Zito then almost immediately turned into a colossal bust, never lived up to the hype and ultimately became a bullpen guy for the Giants.
Which is gross to type because the Red Sox were apparently the runner ups for Zito and are now basically living out the same exact situation a decade later. Highest paid pitcher ever, underwhelming performance etc.
But anyways, with Zito he always seemed like a total surfer dude who just happened to be really good at baseball. Like if Johnny Utah hadn’t blown out his knee and went on to NFL stardom.
So towards the end of his career Zito was always seen playing the guitar all while shitting the bed as he backed his way into the last few years of his historic contract. In 7 seasons with the Giants he never ONCE had an ERA under 4 and had an ERA over 5 three times. Yuck, indeed.
Well good for that dude for doing what he loves and chasing the dream, not the money. Ya know, after already banking $100+ million dollars. Guy Moneyballed his way to the top. Respect.
CFL Team Hires and Fires Dirtbag Ex-Baylor Coach Art Briles in Less Than 24 Hours
SB Nation – “On Monday morning, the CFL’s Hamilton Tiger-Cats announced the hiring of former Houston and Baylor head coach Art Briles, who was fired in May 2016 amid the Bears’ program-wide sexual assault scandal, as an offensive assistant. But Briles won’t join Hamilton after all, according to the league. Its statement on Monday night: “Art Briles will no longer be joining the Hamilton Tiger-Cats as a coach. We came to this decision this evening following a lengthy discussion between the league and the Hamilton organization. We wish Mr. Briles all the best in his future endeavours.”
I gotta say, I was more than a little surprised when I saw that ex-Baylor coach Art Briles had gotten hired by a CFL team as their offensive coordinator. Granted its the CFL, but this guy wouldn’t be able to get a job managing a Denny’s, let alone another football team.
For anyone that forgets all the details of the Art Briles era at Baylor, here are the sparknotes: this guy basically emboldened scumbags up and down the Baylor roster and intimidated college women from coming forward about sexual assault at the hands of his players. Baylor had one arrest after the other, most of which were for violent crimes. There were legitimate gang rape allegations against Briles team. Sports Illustrated had the below breakdown of utter scumbag entitlement Briles promoted while at Baylor.
“The details of what happened at Baylor under Briles are sickening. At least 52 acts of rape committed by 31 different players between 2011 and ’14, including five gang rapes, according to a lawsuit filed earlier this year by a former Baylor student. Multiple instances of Briles and his staff either ignoring or covering up reports of assault and interfering with police investigations. Players not disciplined while victims were encouraged to keep quiet or leave the university. A blind eye toward accepting players with a history of violence toward women.”
So how the fuck anyone would let this guy oversee even the equipment room for a football team is beyond me.
Well, its apparently beyond the Hamilton Tiger-Cats as well who figured 15 months was enough time passed for a Briles hiring to not be controversial. They guessed wrong. The internet had a field day with this once it caught wind of the hiring. Not even 24 hours later the CFL team came out and said just kidding we’re not going to hire Art Briles.
Art Briles’ new coaching job?
Last Night the Umpires Had a Moment of Silence for Angel Hernandez (Who is Very Much Alive)
So this was the scene right before the Red Sox Blue Jays game last night. All the umpires getting together for a brief moment of silence for their boy Angel Hernandez….who is very much alive.
I was wondering what that whole gathering was about and even Red Sox broadcaster Dave O’Brien said on NESN that this showing was for Hernandez. So this all stemmed from the Ian Kinsler Angel Hernandez showdown last week.
“Last Saturday, MLB umpires banded together to wear white wristbands in protest of players’ treatment of them, and a perceived lack of enforcement on the part of the league. The protest was in response to the MLB fining Ian Kinsler $10,000 for declaring that controversial umpire Angel Hernandez should pursue a different occupation, as well as a more general concern with “escalating verbal attacks” levied on them by players and managers.“
Cry me a river dude. I will gladly take Ian Kinsler being mean to me if it means I get to make SIX FIGURES to work 6 months a year and watch baseball every day. Hernandez also filed a lawsuit this summer against MLB for racial discrimination and alleges that a grudge from Joe Torre is holding him back from any promotions.
As I’ve always said about umpires and refs, if the fans know you’re name, you’re not doing your job. 99/100 times the only reason a fan knows an ump’s name is because he is doing a shit job or inserting himself into the game like our old friend Cowboy Joe West.
So maybe stop getting into public pissing contests with players on a routine basis and you’ll get a promotion. Just a thought.
Again, he is still alive. So pump the breaks on your umpire Livestrong bracelets out there.
PS – The one official who’s name I know for any other reason is Ed Hochuli and thats because of those goddamn bazookas he carries onto the field each week.
Danny Ainge Should Tell the Cavs to Piss Up a Rope if They Asked for Jaylen Brown or Jayson Tatum
Look, I never wanted to trade Isaiah; thats my guy. But, the Celtics have burned that bridge to the ground so going back isn’t really an option now. And the Cavs know it. According to several reports yesterday, the Cavs are now looking for a pot sweetener to complete the IT deal as concerns about his hip linger.
The Cavs reportedly will ask for Jayson Tatum or Jaylen Brown to complete the Kyrie Irving trade. https://t.co/n078WuM1WB pic.twitter.com/NX0Kahz9zX
— NESN (@NESN) August 27, 2017
Hell, Kyrie was already disgruntled in Cleveland and asking to be traded. So if the trade doesn’t go through it doesn’t really affect the Cavs any more than it would have two weeks ago. But the Cavs made this deal KNOWING Isaiah had a hip injury. He suffered that exact injury playing against you for christs sake. So I find it pretty hard to believe that Danny Ainge was playing the role of snake oil salesman about how much healthier IT is or is not.
Especially for such a widely publicized injury. It happened in the Eastern Conference Finals. So I think the Cavs are purely posturing and just trying to hold Danny’s nuts to the fire and squeeze out some additional assets.
Except reports came out that they were asking for Jaylen Brown or Jayson Tatum ON TOP of everything else the C’s gave them, including the Brooklyn lottery pick. There’s only one reply for such an outrageous request.
I mean you’ve got the Celtics already selling Kyrie Irving jerseys, you’ve got Jae Crowder working out in Cavs shirts, there’s no going back on this deal now.
But, to reiterate my point and to borrow a GIF from one of Big Z’s recent blog posts, this needs to be Danny on the phone with Cleveland.
However, now there are conflicting reports the Cavs never made such a request. Who the hell knows. Get in there and clean this shit up Woj. Either way, if I’m Danny I tell the Cavs you’ll get nothing and you’ll like it. That or a second round pick.
The 300s 