Don’t have time for a full podcast? Then we’ve got some bite size content for you in the first episode of Drive Time. Are the Knicks really gonna trade Porzingis? Is Danny gonna sell the farm or trade *down* again? Why is the entire NBA losing its collective mind right now? Tune in, its good for you.
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Cavs Players Are Now Telling Jimmy Butler to Stay Away from the Dumpster Fire that is Cleveland
Chicago Sun Times – No stranger to organizational dysfunction, Jimmy Butler was warned Tuesday night to stay away from the Cavaliers. According to a Cleveland source close to the situation, several of the Cavaliers who had been prodding Butler to push for a trade from the Bulls the last five days were now warning him to stay away from a suddenly volatile situation.
Jesus. Christ. Cleveland, this is why you can’t have nice things. A live look at the state of the Cavaliers right now:
What a goddamn disaster. You guys were literally JUST in the NBA Finals. Sure, you got smacked down by Golden State, but you are without a doubt the second best team in the NBA. Yet somehow, the Cavs are now in complete disarray. They shitcanned the GM the *same day* he was balls deep in trade talks with other teams. Now there are rumblings that LeBron may be bolting town for Los Angeles sooner than later. Bill Simmons, who knows a thing or two about the NBA, is convinced its going to happen.
“It’s gonna be the Lakers. It’s gonna happen.”@BillSimmons tells @ColinCowherd why LeBron will be a Laker pic.twitter.com/aLNF1vGcr2
— Herd w/Colin Cowherd (@TheHerd) June 20, 2017
With that shit storm spiraling around, Cavs players are apparently telling Jimmy Butler to stay the hell away. The GM is out, LeBron could be gone after next year, no one knows what the hell is going on. So Butler reportedly is saying ah nevermind I’ll stay in Chicago. Butler would rather stay on a 41-win team than go to the team that just played in the NBA Finals (and the last 3 years in a row) and has arguably the best player in the world on its roster. Yeesh.
“[Kyrie] Irving has been contacting some of his former Team USA mates, letting them know that he might be willing to push for a trade, especially with the latest drama unfolding in Cleveland..Through back channels, Irving let it be known that he’d be interested in coming to Chicago.”
Oh man it is gonna be FUN watching what happens throughout the NBA today.
We Are On Porzingis Watch High Alert!
Whether its early onset dementia or Phil Jackson just hates Kristaps Porzingis with a fiery fucking passion for blowing off his end of season meeting with the Zen Master, either way Phil just went nuclear.
Phil talking about trading a 7’3″ stretch 5 that is 21-years-old and can protect the rim for “future” assets is fucking bonkers pic.twitter.com/eMXJTbcpbR
— Clemzingis (@TheClemReport) June 22, 2017
There is absolutely no good reason for a GM to go on TV and trash his fucking franchise player unless he’s already decided Porzingis is gone.
On Kristaps, Phil said, “As much as we love this guiy, we have to do what’s best for the club.” Definitely bothered by blowing off meeting.”
— Al Iannazzone (@Al_Iannazzone) June 22, 2017
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So I don’t know why he’s doing it, but as everyone has said every offseason for 3 years – the Celtics have enough assets to make any trade they want as long as a player is available. Anthony Davis ain’t available so we’re not gonna pretend we’ll trade 7 first round picks to New Orleans like its 2K. Porzingis is available though, so make it happen. Don’t sell the farm, but get it done.
There’s so much smoke and disinformation out there that nobody knows what the hell is gonna happen. But I am on full alert.
The Minister of Disinformation @NickC985 @adamjones985 pic.twitter.com/WwWAOANG2c
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) June 21, 2017
If Peter Chiarelli Wins GM of the Year Tonight I Might Just Kill Myself
NHL – David Poile of the Nashville Predators, Pierre Dorion of the Ottawa Senators and Peter Chiarelli of the Edmonton Oilers were named finalists for the NHL General Manager of the Year Award on Tuesday. Voting was conducted among general managers, a panel of League executives, and print and broadcast media following the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The winner will be announced at the 2017 NHL Awards at T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas on June 21 (7:30 p.m. ET; NBCSN, SN).
You all remember Peter Chiarelli. The guy who did a nice job building up a 2011 Stanley Cup champion in 2011. He was responsible for signing Chara, trading Kessel and lucking into Tyler Seguin with said draft picks. Bruins were on the up, won the President’s Trophy, but then lost in the 2013 Stanley Cup Finals. And then he systematically destroyed the team.
Seriously this team went from a couple of wins short of winning the Stanley Cup in 2013 to missing the playoffs entirely in 18 months. Not to mention gutting the team along the way and trading away our best young player in Tyler Seguin for a bag of pucks.
That guy finally got shitcanned last year and then waltzed into one of the best situations in the league in Edmonton, who had the No. 1 overall pick. Using that they drafted Connor McDavid who had 48 points in 45 games in his Rookie season. McDavid (along with Auston Matthews) is potentially the best young forward since Gretzky. Seriously, the guy scored 30 goals, 70 assists, and had 100 points in his first full season in the NHL. I give Chiarelli ZERO credit for that.
Now this guy is up for GM of the Year? The guy who completely fucked up the Bruins with terrible trades and signings. The guy who gave away a perennial 30+ goal scorer in Seguin. The guy who traded Johnny Boychuk to the Islanders in a salary dump and left the Bruins D-core gutted. The guy who dismantled a young, Stanley Cup caliber team and turned them into a non-playoff team in less than two years. Fuck outta here.
Uber Just Added Tipping and I’m Furious
Are you shitting me Uber? After all these years and all the money I’ve drunkenly given you. Now you’re going to “add tipping” to Uber? No wonder CEO Travis Kalanick stepped down. This was probably the last straw. I’ve literally retrained my brain to not tip when getting a ride now solely because of Uber. Punch in my address, fall into an Uber, get out and go inside my house. No worries, no scrambling for singles that I don’t have to tip the drive. Uber’s got it covered. Hell, have you take a taxi recently? They roll up to the house and you just get out without paying because you’re so used to the app and the taxi driver starts cussing you out to come back and pay.
I’m sure this is due to driver complaints. When I was out in LA recently the price of Ubers blew me away. They were ridiculously cheap. It takes 40 mins to get across LA regardless of where you go and I was only spending like $20 a pop. I guess its because just about every single wannabe actor, singer, rapper etc. are ALL Uber drivers. So competition is fierce and pay is low.
Sucks to say, but tough shit guys. World needs plenty of bartenders. Uber has changed the game forever and there’s no going back now. You can send all the passive aggressive emails you want Uber, but there’s a 0% chance I’m tipping my driver after years of conditioning to do the exact opposite.
Waiter? 20% Bartender? $5 bucks. Uber driver? Call me Mr. Pink, but sorry, I don’t believe in it. I don’t tip because society says I have to. This tipping automatically? It’s for the birds.
Millennials Are Now Unhealthier Than Their Parents; Lets Break it Down
Yahoo – They’re known for being tech savvy, hyper-critical, and emotionally unavailable.
But how are they doing with their health?…To the dismay of sassy young people everywhere, the evidence goes both ways. In some aspects of healthy living, millennials have the older generation beat. However, there are a number of ways that millennials are actually on the decline when it comes to their wellness. Twenty-somethings preaching health to their parents might be a little misguided; every once in a while, they could probably learn a thing or two from their parents’ advice.
It has become a favorite pastime of mine in the years post-college as a surge in “Millennials killed ___” articles have flooded the interwebs. Today, Yahoo wants us to know that after everything we killed, how we’ll never own homes, how much crippling debt we’re all in — after all that our parents are in better shape than us too. Well, fuck. Alright lets have a look.
1.) Eating Disorders Are More Common
Well, yea no shit. In our parents’ youth they idolized frumpy chicks like Marilyn Monroe and boozehounds like Frank Sinatra. Today?
Soo yea, no shit there are more eating disorders these days.
2.) Their Exercise is Extreme
Okay how the hell does exercising harder make millennials less healthy? If you’re brittle, vegetarian body can’t handle some sprints then thats on you. Plus, look at #1 on this list to directly explain #2. Time is a flat circle.
3.) They Are Less Aware of Ingredients
This is coming from the generation with lead paint in the walls, mercury in thermostats and people who used to feed their kids pounds of butter and frozen food. I would say most millennials are actually pretty health conscious and aware of whats in their food, but with that being said I also can’t cook a meal that requires more than 5 ingredients so they may be on to something here.
4.) They Cook Less
Man this list is really a stretch considering half these points are directly caused by something else on this list. Less aware of ingredients? Fuck it, I’ll just eat out. Not to mention with the advent of iPhones and GrubHub, I don’t even have to talk to someone to have food show up at my door. That’s the future.
5.) They Do Less Yoga
Literally every 20-something girl I know does yoga. Death, taxes and girls grabbing Starbucks after yoga.
6.) They Drink More
Hand up, that one’s on us. But seriously, this is coming from a generation who idolized guys like Don Draper. I love Mad Men, but that show is based on a raging alcoholic. So this one is a draw at best.
7.) They Eat More Dessert
No idea, this seems like a dart throw from Yahoo. Do better, Marissa Meyer.
8.) They Have More Food Intolerances
This is 100% accurate and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s some kind of nature vs nurture sensitivity kids developed over the years? Maybe it’s because we had less lead and mercury in our lives. Who knows. But for every millennial who complains about how I can’t eat a PB&J because of their peanut butter allergy, the more times I quote Ivan Drago.
9.) They Struggle With Their Mental Health
Not gonna really joke about this one because it is a serious issue. Maybe older generations did a better job of hiding it rather than coping with it, but a lot of people my age struggle with depression and anxiety and the jury is still out as to why. Thanks Obama.
So ends another entry into Millennials Killed ___. Keep em coming internet so I can poke holes in all of them.
Adrian Peterson Risking His Life to Cultivate Mass
Yahoo – Adrian Peterson makes his living crashing into defensive linemen and linebackers, so he probably has a good grasp on what is good or bad for his health. Still, the admission that he’s ate so much seafood after signing with the New Orleans Saints that his body fat has gone from 7-8 percent to 9-10 percent in two weeks was a bit crazy. See, it’s not that Peterson is the first to go on a food bender in New Orleans. That’s happened to just about anyone who has visited. It’s that Peterson is allergic to shellfish..The New Orleans Times-Picayune’s Josh Katzenstein chronicled how Peterson is sampling the city’s seafood restaurants, including charbroiled oysters (“I’ve been tearing them up,” he said), and how he carries an EpiPen with him as he does it.
Gotta respect AP embracing that washed life. The guy is a running back over 30 coming off multiple knee surgeries and just got cut by the only team he’s ever played for. So is it any surprise that the guy moves to a warm, entertaining, party city known for its celebrations and its food and is now (reportedly) cultivating mass?
It happens to the best of us. You have a rough day, you get canned from your job, whatever it is. You just roll right up to that Burger King drive through window, crush a couple Whoppers and eat right past those tears. So a little cap tip to AP for hitting the buffet instead of his kids this time around.
Not to mention Peterson is apparently crushing seafood, all while being allergic to shellfish. Foods so good the guy’s risking his fucking LIFE to eat more of it. Can’t blame the guy for enjoying some good old southern food. Unless of course you’re a Saints fan, then you can blame the fuck out of him.
The NBA Offseason is the Best in Sports and its Not Even Close
The amount of juice the NBA has provided since the season ended last week is just insane. Its been more entertaining than the NBA playoffs and even more so than the Finals. The NBA offseason is hands down the best in sports as GM’s continue to look around the league, see teams like Golden State, and just say fuck it lets reload.
In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby: “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
I think that needs to be the new slogan of the NBA. If you’re not Golden State then your franchise might as well punt on the next 3-5 years. It sounds like a joke, BUT THATS WHAT TEAMS ARE DOING. Sure, there are teams like the Celtics who are technically within striking distance so I applaud Trader Danny’s efforts to improve this team as long as it does so without mortgaging the future. But even LeBron and the Cavs, the team thats been to the NBA Finals the last 3 years IN A ROW, seem to be panicking. Cleveland has been in talks for all the big names like Paul George and Jimmy Butler all sandwiched around kicking their own GM to the bricks.
As much as it sucks there is a goddamn Super Team standing between the Celtics and a title, I’m glad it at least gives the rest of the league the motivation to either completely blow things up and rebuild or just stockpile as many assets and big name players as possible.
It’s like the Elite Four at the end of Victory Road in Pokemon. An absolute nightmare to deal with so don’t even both walking down the road if you’re not ready. Level up, get your shit together and then go after the top dogs.
So yesterday we had Woj Bomb after Woj Bomb. Paul George told the Pacers after next season he’s out so now they’re looking to get whatever they can for PG-13. The Knicks are listening to offers for 21-year old stud Kristaps Porzingis and the Celtics are one of the teams in talks with NY. Jimmy Butler saying he’d rather not play in Cleveland so the C’s are still in on that rumor too. Dwight Howard got traded, minutes after dropping some fire jokes about NBA trades on his own Twitter account.
Well thats awkward timing for @DwightHoward #NBA #Hawks #Hornets #NBADraft pic.twitter.com/gBFl88gXRK
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) June 21, 2017
Then we got the Lakers trading D’Angelo Russell, the Clippers looking to deal DeAndre Jordan, all while we still have the NBA fucking Draft on Thursday night. God knows how many more trades there will be and how much more hot, hot heat Woj is going to be dropping on Twitter.
The #NBA offseason right now. pic.twitter.com/VLjFuo78zI
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) June 21, 2017
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The only one drooling more than me right now is probably Ainge. No sleep til Brooklyn.
Are the Celtics in on a Trade for Kristaps Porzingis?
So just about an hour ago, Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted out this bombshell about the Knicks and Kristaps Porzingis.
Sources: As teams become aware Phil Jackson isn’t ruling out possibility of trading Kristaps Porzingis, frenzy of interest is growing today.
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@WojVerticalNBA) June 20, 2017
Confirming what every Knicks fan wakes up in a cold sweat worrying about every night; Phil Jackson might actually trade Porzingis. The only bright spot for that dumpster fire of a franchise is coincidentally the only good move the Zen Master has made since taking over the Knicks. And now Woj puts it out there that the Knicks aren’t ruling out dealing him. Man, if I’m a Knicks I’m probably just putting on my Carmelo Jersey and jumping off the fucking George Washington Bridge.
If Kristaps goes to Boston I’m putting a bullet in my brain
— Clemzingis (@TheClemReport) June 20, 2017
But that brings me back to the Celtics, who have been stockpiling assets for years, basically just waiting for a young stud to become available.
And after Danny traded the No. 1 overall pick the other night (whether you agree with the logic or not), everyone in the media seemed to agree that this looked like the first step in a series of moves Danny would make. There’s a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Is Porzingis that other shoe? Talk about a great fit for the Celtics if its true. The C’s need size. Porzingis is 7’3″. The guy is a goddamn giraffe. They also need big men who can shoot to really thrive in Brad Steven’s system. Last year KP averaged 18.1 points per game, shot 45% from the field, and 35.7% from behind the arc. Check, check and check.
Honestly, who the fuck knows what Trader Danny is ever really thinking. Does anyone doubt Danny Ainge could pull one over on this guy though?
But, I do know one thing. I am anxiously awaiting a Woj Bomb dropping. Notifications. On.
When the rumors start flying and you get a feeling a Woj Bomb is about to drop. @WojVerticalNBA #NBA #NBADraft #Celtics pic.twitter.com/rULhBrRSY2
— The 300s (@The300sBoston) June 20, 2017
Miles Teller Arrested for Being Drunk in Public: Happens to the Best of Us
Yahoo – Miles Teller had a not-so-fantastic weekend that culminated in his arrest in San Diego. “Fantastic Four” star Teller was arrested and charged with being drunk in public early Sunday morning, a spokesman for the San Diego Police Department told TheWrap on Monday. According to police, an officer made contact with Teller and other males at 12:26 a.m., and noticed that the actor showed signs of being under the influence of alcohol, slurring his speech and swaying from side to side.
Man as much as it must be awesome to be a celebrity (rich, good looking, famous), it must fucking SUCK for stuff like this. Can’t even have a couple daiquiris and then hit the strip. You have a few too many of those sneaky 11% alcohol IPA’s and before you know it you’re fancy walking down the sidewalk.
And now everybody is gonna jump on the guy for being an alcoholic, when he’s just a dude who got wasted one night. While its hard to read too much into a police report because a lot of the subtle details are lost, but lines like this are telling though:
“According to police, an officer made contact with Teller and other males at 12:26 a.m.”
12:26 seems a bit early in the night to be completely fucked up drunk. So either he was disgustingly, horribly hammered or he maybe was mouthing off to a cop which is neverrr a good idea. If you’re a young, white guy — not to mention a young, rich, white guy — I feel like you’re probably going to get the benefit of the doubt. “Move it along guys.” But you start mouthing off and you deserve whatever you get.
I used to work the door at a bar in Boston and the number of 20-something, drunk dickheads walking over from State Street was always the highlight of my night. Dudes in their boat shoes screaming outside the bar about how much more money they made than us, all while coming to a bar that specializes in fucking $3 Coors Lights. I once had a kid *demand* that I call the police since his dad knew the Chief so I could explain to them why I wouldn’t let him in. Needless to say we told that guy to go eat a bag of dicks. Pretty sure we saved the kid a billy club beating from the cops themselves.
Of all the celebrity boozehounds though, Shia LaBeouf still has the greatest drunken arrest story ever told.
The 300s 