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LeBron Littlefinger James Continues to Pull the Strings and Gets Cavs GM Fired

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ESPN – The Cleveland Cavaliers have parted ways with general manager David Griffin, the team announced Monday. Griffin’s contract was up at the end of the month, and after extensive talks with owner Dan Gilbert, no agreement on an extension was reached..Cavs star LeBron James, who sources said was not consulted on the decision, tweeted out support of Griffin.

Jesus christ, ya drop 2 out of 3 NBA Finals and all of a sudden Cleveland is turning into a complete shitshow. Canning the GM days before the draft, while the guy is also balls deep into trade discussions just reeks of an impulse decision. Or who knows, maybe Griffin was sick of hearing shit from both ends, getting badgered by ownership and by LeBron, and just said FUCK THIS I’m out.

Either way, this is classic LeBron “I’m not the GM”  James through and through. Griffin built the second best team in the NBA and did just about everything LeBron wanted. He traded Andrew Wiggins for Kevin Love. The No. 1 overall pick and LeBron said send that teenager packing I need the white boy who can hit some 3’s and Griffin did it. He gave a max contract to Tristan fucking Thompson.

LeBron bitched the team didn’t have enough talent so Griffin traded for Andrew Bogut (who actually got hurt) and brought in guys like Kyle Korver and Derron Williams. Then the Cavs just happened to run into an all-time team in the Warriors and it wasn’t good enough. Instead of sitting down and figuring out, okay how the hell are we gonna beat these guys in Golden State, ya know, like a competitor would do – instead LeBron throws a bitch fit and gets the GM fired.

LeBron is basically the Littlefinger of the NBA. GM’s getting ousted, coaches getting fired, nonsensical trades and deals being made. The guy just loves the chaos.

LeBron’s little buddy Brian Windhorst can report all he wants how LeBron was “surprised” by the move:

But everyone knows whats up. Griffin was just LeBron’s latest fall guy. He’s the new Mike Brown. The new David Blatt. I’m not the coach, I’m not the GM, you guys built this shitty team not me so I’m gonna throw a temper tantrum and threaten to leave unless you axe this guy.

And that is why we don’t negotiate with terrorists. You pamper these guys and give them everything they want and then they turn around and throw everyone under the bus for making the exact moves you wanted them to make. Sorry LeBron, the Cavs are literally barren of assets to trade for a guy like Jimmy Butler or Paul George because of all these fucking moves you wanted the Cavs to make over the years.

Welp, godspeed to the next guy who’s got to take that job and get cucked by LeBron every day. Rumors are picking up steam now though that Chauncey Billups may actually take the job, which is probably the best thing for the Cavs despite Chauncey Billups having zero experience in the role. Billups can be the Ty Lue of the front office. Ty Lue, the guy who legit told LeBron to go fuck himself, was the best thing for LeBron. So there’s your blueprint Chauncey, godspeed.

Introducing the Celtics New German Big Man Daniel Theis AKA The Daniel Wall

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So the Celtics have reportedly come to terms on a deal with Daniel Theis, a 6’9″ forward/center out of Germany. Not gonna pretend to know dick about this guy, so a quick breakdown from celticsblog.com below.

“He’s been a professional since 2011 and has played with Lowen Braunschweig, Ratiopharm Ulm and Brose Baskets in the German Basketball Bundesliga. In 2015-2016 and 2016-2017 he was a German BBL All-Star Starter and was named the Defensive Player of the Year in 2016-17. He was also named the Best National Player in the BBL in 2015-2016.”

Now I’m all for the Celtics adding some size to the roster, but the scouting report seems to describe a strong rebounder, a guy who block some shots into the rafters, yet has a limited offensive game. AKA Jordan Mickey. And Mickey was a guy who showed some flashes of being a beast on the boards, but got next to no playing time because of said offensive limitations so it’ll be interesting to see how Brad Stevens works Theis into the rotation.

Again, not gonna claim to be an expert on this German import so I’m gonna lean on the guys at CelticsBlog.com here. Theis definitely seems like a project as he’s a guy that was available to anyone in 2013, but went undrafted. His only NBA experience coming in the Summer League with the Wizards in 2014. But hey, maybe he’s a diamond in the rough. Don’t hate it, shoot your shot Danny.

Either way, I’ve been a gentleman and given Theis the opportunity to pick his own nickname, but I’m leaning heavy towards The Daniel Wall since he is from Germany and all.

Cue the mixtape!

Gronk Goes On An All-Time Bender, Rings Up $100K Bar Tab

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I feel like the word “epic” is thrown around a little too cavalierly these days. Getting black out in Faneuil Hall and then getting drunk pizza is not epic, Jimmy. BUT, ringing up a tab that tops SIX FIGURES definitely qualifies for that. Hell Gronk almost equaled what the entire Bruins team spent drinking at Foxwoods after winning the goddamn Stanley Cup in 2011. To rack up $102K at the bar, I’m gonna assume there wasn’t a lot of Miller Lites floating around.

And this is how you party…#shrine #foxwoods #gronkfam

A post shared by Erik Lorch || ⒻⒾⓃⓀ (@finkshotit) on Jun 18, 2017 at 1:32am PDT

 

To be honest though, Shrine should be paying Gronk for this kind of free promotion.

@kberg210 gettin that twerk angle with @gronk 🎥👌

A post shared by Erik Lorch || ⒻⒾⓃⓀ (@finkshotit) on Jun 19, 2017 at 9:42am PDT

 

Kylie Jenner makes like $300K for a promoted Instagram post for christ’s sake. So, when you think about it, its criminal to even let Gronk open his wallet for this one. Sure, take a few grand to fix the holes in the dry wall and steam clean the carpets and couches. But other than that you just thank Gronk for coming to fucking Connecticut to party and call it even.

About last night… 🎉🍾🎤 @gronk @official_flo @shrinefoxwoods #FOXSTAR

A post shared by Foxwoods Resort Casino (@foxwoods) on Jun 18, 2017 at 7:01pm PDT

Vince Young Cut from CFL Team Probably Ends Football Career

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Yahoo – Vince Young deserved credit for doing whatever it took to get back into football. In his case, it was a trip to the Canadian Football League. However, Young’s body betrayed him. According to the Houston Chronicle, Young’s agent Leigh Steinberg said Young tore his hamstring during training camp and was cut by the Saskatchewan Roughriders. He was due to be out four-to-six weeks.

Well this is probably curtains on Vince Young’s football playing career and its a sad day for me. Was always a huge Vinsanity guy, mainly because he was unstoppable in Madden 08 running the shotgun.

But the guy was also insanely fun to watch at Texas and for a short time in Tennessee before that train went off the rails. Looking back, Jeff Fisher coupled with VY was a disaster waiting to happen. The king of 8-8 probably wanted nothing to do with Vince scrambling around making shit happen. He wanted to run it out of the I-formation and just miss the playoffs as he’s done his whole career.

I can’t help but get my antenna up though with Vince’s agent announcing the injury at the same time he’s getting cut. Maybe, its to spare Vince the embarrassment of getting cut by a team in Canada or maybe he actually did destroy his hamstring, but either way its the end of an era.

I know he had a role with the University of Texas in the past so hopefully he gets a gig with the football team there if he’s truly done playing. Because if anyone watched that NFL Films doc with him and Matt Leinart “The 2006 Rose Bowl: A Football Life” he did not look great. Especially compared to Leinart who benefits from truly not giving a shit that he also bombed in the NFL. You were a college football legend in motherfucking TEXAS. Own that shit, Vince.

Texas Forever.

What if Dennis Rodman Gets Taken Prisoner in North Korea and Directly Starts WW3?

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ESPN – Dennis Rodman, the former NBA bad boy who has palled around with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, began sightseeing in Pyongyang on Wednesday during a trip he said he hoped will “open a door” for his former “Celebrity Apprentice” boss — U.S. President Donald Trump.

Dennis Rodman is back in Pyongyang essentially writing the script for a movie that will put Kazaam and Shaq Fu in a bodybag. The words “Based on a true story” make the cash register ring homie. Not to mention, he’s legit getting the job done.

“Hours after his arrival, U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson announced that North Korea had released an American student serving a 15-year prison term with hard labor for alleged anti-state acts.”

Coincidence? I think not. While the rest of us are nervously laughing every time a North Korean test missile crashes into the ocean, Rodman is getting the royal treatment from Kim Jong Un as they probably party like kings.

Rodman is basically the real life version of James Franco in The Interview. There is no acting here, these guys are legit buds. These two are probably commiserating over the fact that the rest of the world thinks they’re both batshit crazy.

But what if they get in a spat? What if there’s a disagreement? Ya know who’s not understanding and reasonable? A goddamn dictator of an isolated nation.

So what happens if North Korea takes Dennis Rodman prisoner? You think Donald Trump is gonna let Kim Jong Un cuck him and steal America’s Greatest Rebounder of All-Time? FUCK NO. Donnie will be invading North Korea the next day. And that’s how World War 3 starts my friends. Not because of ISIS. Because of Dennis fucking Rodman.

Plus you just know, DJT would be live tweeting the whole thing from the White House grinning like a madman.

Guerin Austin Could Learn a Thing or Two from this Red Sox Sideline Reporter

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So as is tradition here at The 300s, I enjoy giving Red Sox sideline reporter Guerin Austin shit because every single time there’s a victorious Gatorade bath she gets SOAKED. Every. Single. Time. Smiles right through the pain too.

Last night though this suave new guy stepped in (prob because Guerin has pneumonia from one of those Gatorade waterboardings) and showed everyone how its done.

 

Cue the highlights!

 

Durant Balled Out to Win MVP, But It’s Hard to Shake the Fact He Joined a 73 Win Team

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As much as I will always hate on Kevin Durant for bailing on OKC and taking the easy way out by jumping on the Warriors band wagon, I do have to give him credit for one thing. He. Balled. Out. Guy scored 30+ in every game and was an absolute monster the entire series. He wasn’t just along for the ride. He wasn’t Steph Curry’s little sidekick. He took over games, made big shots and basically made the Cavs quit.

Now, is it pretty fucking easy to be a lethal scorer when arguably the best player in the league is getting wide open looks because he’s on a super team? Yes, yes it is.

But it wasn’t just his offense, as Jackie Mac notes in her column yesterday — it was his stifling D that made the difference.

“Most observers gushed over the 33 points he scored, but Durant also finished with five blocks, three steals and 11 defensive rebounds. Only one other player since 1984, according to Basketball-Reference.com, has matched those numbers: Hall of Fame shoo-in Tim Duncan, who did it in Game 1 of the 2003 NBA Finals. No Hakeem, no Shaq. Just Duncan, one of the finest defensive players of his generation, and Durant.”

He has the speed to stay with LeBron but also the size to swat Kevin Love shots into the rafters. Not to mention he’s quick enough to close on jump shots from guys like Kyrie. Durant has a 7’5″ wingspan for christ’s sake! The Cavs didn’t really have an answer for the Durantula, which Jalen Rose called the worst nickname ever last night. To which Paul Pierce responded like a goddamn boss, “We can’t all be The Truth.”

Which is what makes it kind of sad because any quote from KD like this will always be followed by a “yea…but”

“Nobody comes in and cares about the game or loves the game as much as I do or works as hard as do,” Durant said. “You can talk about whatever happens on the outside, but inside those lines, I come to bring it every day. I work hard, I believe in myself, I believe in the game, I respect the game, I love the game, and I knew at some point in my life that it will come around for me. So I just tried to stay with those principles and keep grinding.”

So Nike can pump the fucking breaks with this commercial.

“Debate This.” Fuck outta here, Nike. I will debate this. Thoroughly. Because he joined a 73 win team. A team that he was up 3-1 on the previous season with a trip to the Finals on the line.

“Hey, thats not fair — KD earned the right to pick his team in free agency and play wherever he wants!”

All true and fair points. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s on easy street. This team was on cruise control to a title all year. Durant, again arguably the best player in the league, missed 20 games and the Warriors still won 67 games. Holy hell they might have won 80 if Durant was healthy. Looking ahead to next season, Golden State is already the most heavily favored team to win a title EVER:

“They’re going to be the highest favorite we’ve ever had going into a season, any team in any sport,” Jeff Sherman, NBA oddsmaker at the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook, told ESPN.

So I give Durant credit for being a beast in this series, but it’s gonna be hard for me to ever get over him jumping ship to the team that beat him. Guy must fucking HATE Russell Westbrook.

PS – Durant’s mom and Curry’s mom just GET it. So ride or die. Can’t knock that one bit.

LeBron Paved the Way for Super Teams and is Now Upset He’s Getting Beat by a Super Team

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Yahoo – In a sense, if Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James is frustrated by the 2017 NBA Finals, his search for how the Golden State Warriors became so darn indestructible should really begin within. Unable on his own to topple the late 2000s Boston Celtics — a contender forged by trades for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen in the summer of 2007 — LeBron left the Cavs in 2010 to replicate a super-team blueprint alongside incumbent Dwyane Wade and fellow newcomer Chris Bosh on the Miami Heat…Though Durant says he did not consider James’ precedent, he readily admits, “He paved the way.”

LeBron must have thrown a fucking fit when he saw this quote from Kevin Durant. Recent quotes from LeBron have made it seem like he’s already resigned to his fate because the Warriors are just more talented. Oh you don’t like stacked teams beating up on you? Well you started the trend homie. Its actually pretty funny when you think about it. As much as I hate the trend of AAU buddies teaming up and building super teams, Durant’s right; LeBron set the precedent.

“You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand.”

After reading that story, this Alfred quote from the Dark Knight is the first thing that popped into my head. It’s dead on. Like when Batman took down most of the Gotham underworld he set a new precedent for criminals and they kicked it up another level by bringing in the bat shit crazy Joker. LeBron is basically Batman in this situation with the rest of the league being the Gotham mob bosses, which is a sentence I never thought I’d write.

“You spat in the faces of Gotham’s worse criminals. Didn’t you think there might be some casualties? Things were always going to get worse before they got better.”

The NBA is essentially a copy cat league. If you can’t beat em, join em.

Now Durant is basically saying, “Cry me a fucking river. It’s time for KD to get his shine.” I just really hope this doesn’t become a goddamn blueprint for future superstars. Get drafted, make your team title contenders every year without quite winning one, jump to the path of least resistance to win a ring or two, then come back to your original team to play the savior card. Because that, my friends, will get old reallll fast.

And, yes I realize I make far too many Batman references in my ramblings about sports. Deal with it. The Bat Man is the goat.

Lakers Reportedly Souring on Lonzo Ball, Shockingly Because of LaVar

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CSN – When the Lakers landed the No. 2 pick in the NBA draft, it seemed like all but a formality that they would select UCLA’s Lonzo Ball. But with the draft just weeks away, Magic Johnson and the Lakers may be souring on Ball, according to The Huffington Post’s Jordan Schultz. And, you guessed it, it may be LaVar’s fault.

If the Lakers pass on Lonzo Ball, who Magic Johnson has all but professed his love for on TV, right AFTER Lonzo apparently passed on a $10 million shoe deal because of his loudmouth father then I think its time for LaVar Ball to officially pipe down.

Pretty hard to sell shoes and be a household name in Phoenix or if you’re LUCKY, Philadelphia. In a matter of like 6 months LaVar may have hurt his own son’s draft value, killed his dream of playing for his hometown LA Lakers and made his son pass on a shoe deal for the sake of tentpoling his own Big Baller Brand. Welp, better hope Lonzo’s pretty fucking good because ain’t no Kardashians coming to Sacramento.

I do find it hard to believe that Magic Johnson is gonna pass on the guy though. By all reports Magic seemingly covets Lonzo. MJ is gonna pass on a flashy PG to draft some project big man? Don’t buy it. Magic would be the first fucking guy out in a Friday night poker game with the boys because no one believes a goddamn word he says. But you gotta love the fact its prob making Lavar sweat a bit.

If Lonzo doesn’t end up in LA that is a yuuuge hit for LaVar’s grand stage-dad plan for him. Andrew Wiggins was the No. 1 overall pick and got his own shoe deal and I have never seen a single person wearing them. You don’t hear a single word about him unless you’re watching SportsCenter at midnight. Meanwhile as a Laker, Nick Young, AKA Swaggy P, is an internet star and dating (formerly?) Iggy Azalea. All while being TERRIBLE at basketball.

Even in this day and age of social media, geography is a big deal. There’s a reason LeBron and co. built a super team in Miami and not in Utah.

As I said though, Magic is probably just trying to throw everyone off his scent because the Ball family in LA just makes too much sense to not happen. Not to mention, they are guaranteed to team up with the Kardashians and spawn some hit reality show like Ballin with the Kardashians or some shit.