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Voltron at 3B Cancelled by Red Sox; Plouffe Signs with the A’s

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MassLive – “The Oakland Athletics have agreed to a deal with infielder Trevor Plouffe worth approximately $5 million plus incentives, according to Jon Heyman of Today’s Knuckleball and FanRag Sports. It had been reported Dec. 27 that the Red Sox were interested in signing Plouffe.”

Cancel the assembling of Voltron at third base. The Red Sox had been reported as in on Trevor Plouffe, which would have been at the very least some competition for the Panda at the hot corner. But he just signed with the Oakland A’s so cancel that. Welp, at least we all know Sandoval is the beacon of self control, inner fortitude and loves to compete with himself… Marco Hernandez is gonna push the shit out of Panda or maybe Brock Holt just up and takes the job for a couple months at a time. Or maybe, in a wild twist the $100 million third baseman starts earning some paychecks. Buckle up.

Also, $5 million bucks for a career .247 hitter? Peace.

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Hero Patriots Fan Tells ESPN to Piss Off When They Ask to Use His Belichick Photo

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LOVE it. Say what you will, but no one, and I mean no one holds a grudge like Boston sports fans. And thats why we’re so passionate. We got dudes telling ESPN to go piss up a rope, we’ve got former Patriots players railing against the league any chance they get, hell even the Barstool guys got arrested for TB12. Can’t teach that loyalty. Can’t beat the guy who never gives up.

 

 

Hey ESPN, it’s called loyalty

Chiefs Talking Extension with Andy “Time is a Flat Circle” Reid

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ESPN – The Kansas City Chiefs will try to extend coach Andy Reid’s contract this offseason, league sources told ESPN on Sunday. Reid, 58, will be entering the final year of his contract next season; teams usually prefer not to have their head coaches, particularly successful ones, head into the last year of their deal.

I know I know, I’m a spoiled Patriots fan. But just because you don’t have the best coach in the league doesn’t mean you have to keep your car in park at 10 wins every year. I mean I guess its hard to argue with Andy Reid’s record with the Chiefs of 43-21, but that doesn’t take into account them routinely getting bounced in the playoffs. With the Chiefs Reid, who is 11-11 for his career in the playoffs, has lost in the 1st round in 2013, missed the playoffs in 2014, losing in the second round in 2015 and then securing the 2 seed for the Chiefs in 2016.

Again not terrible numbers, but numbers don’t tell the whole story. Have the owners ever actually watched a game? The guy seemingly doesn’t realize there is a clock involved in the game of football. Whenever his teams are down they take their time, run down the play clock, usually score but then don’t have enough time to get the ball back so they’ll onside kick it.

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Hell I remember my first experience with Andy “Time is a Flat Circle” Reid back in the 2004 Super Bowl. The Pats were leading the Eagles and time was running down so they should be ya know, going no-huddle, or at the very least speed walking to the line. Nah, they take their time, slowly go through their reads and drain the clock. History has destroyed Donovan McNabb for allegedly puking in the huddle and slowing down the team. But to be honest, based on his coaching history since, Reid probably slipped McNabb a mickey because he was going too fast. You can’t rush this man. This is a man who takes his time.

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Is Manny Playing Japanese Independent Island League Baseball at 44 Sad or Awesome? Lets Make the Case

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ESPN – “Former major league outfielder Manny Ramirez has agreed to terms with the Kochi Fighting Dogs of Japan’s independent Shikoku Island League.”

Guys this is sad. This is Manny Ramirez. The guy who never seemed to give a shit about baseball or his teammates or about much at all seemingly can’t quit the game. Manny was one of the greatest hitters of my generation, maybe of all-time, but the guy was so frustrating. It was like babysitting at times, but in the end it was worth it because when he was going .300/40/140 you’ll put up with a lot of shit.  It was just “Manny being Manny.”

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The thing about this though is its not like Manny needs the money. And its not like he’s expecting to make a MLB comeback at age 44. Hell he’s actually raking over there. He hit.352 with eight home runs and 43 RBIs playing in Taiwan in 2013. So he’s probably doing it just because he loves to play baseball. Maybe he’s like an old man who’s just now looking back and regretting not caring more? Maybe he misses the good old days? Or Maybe he just wants to swing through his goddamn shoes every at bat. I mean thats why I play beer league softball. Not to pad my OBP; I want to try and hit a HR every single at bat, regardless of my debatable power.

Alright, I think I’ve come full circle and changed my mind. You do you, Manny. Have a beer or 6 and swing for the fences. Thats what mens league/Japanese Independent Island League baseball is all about.

Cue the highlights!

Would Bryce Harper Spurn the Yankees Over His Lettuce?

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Yahoo – “Even the most ardent Bryce Harper haters have to admit one thing: The Washington Nationals outfielder has a strong hair game. We’re not just talking about the hair on his head, either, though it is spectacular…It’s no secret Harper rooted for the Yankees growing up, and there’s been speculation about him joining the club the instant he becomes a free-agent for years now. Knowing that, [Clint] Frazier took the opportunity to do a little recruiting for New York.”

If you’ve ever had any hope of Bryce Harper spurning the Yankees (who he’s long been rumored to be destined for in Free Agency), then this is your best shot. Bryce Harper, the young, cocky dude who mashes dingers all while rocking the best hair in baseball and a full beard. Not on the Yankees because of their nonsensical rules on hair and facial hair. Bryce would have to shave the beard and start rocking a boy’s regular. Not this guy.

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Would his glorious lettuce be enough for Harper to say forget that, I’ll go mash somewhere else and look like Jayson Werth if I want? Thats what I’m hoping at least. I love Harper and I think he’d be a cult figure in Boston; a fiery asshole that lives and dies with every play, runs into walls and absolutely rakes? Yea I think Massholes would take a liking to him. Either way, anyone but the Yankees. Thats just what they need, an MVP slugger in his prime. Don’t do it Bryce. Just look at the damage the Yankees have done to lettuce over the years.

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PS – I’m already distraught over the lettuce that Yankees top prospect Clint Frazier will soon have to axe. RIP.

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Adam Schefter Pumping the Tires of Bill Belichick and I Love It

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ESPN won’t let me embed videos, even when they say ‘hey here’s the link to embed.’ So you can watch the video here.

“Welcome to the Golden Age of Coaching. A time in when we’re witnessing the greatest college football coach of all-time and the greatest NFL coach of all time on Saturdays and Sundays… Saban and Belichick are admired yet not fully appreciated.”

Adam Schefter you beautiful bastard with those milk bottle glasses. Schefty was going for the Walter Cronkite look today so I wasn’t prepared for this verbal bouquet he threw Belichick’s way. He’s got a point though. Bill is admired as a great coach, but still takes shit  from people like the curmudgeons of the 72 Dolphins and course for never winning a title without Brady at QB. But the guy has 4 Super Bowl rings as a Head Coach, 6 rings overall and an unprecedented streak of dominance in winning the AFC East, making the AFC Championship game and this year he could break the record for most Super Bowl titles by a Head Coach all time (same for Brady who would stand alone at QB with 5 rings).

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PS – I think if I were a Browns fan, this would ultimately be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and just makes me off myself. You had the greatest NFL coach of all time and probably the greatest college coach of all time in Nick Saban on your staff and let them both slip through your fingers. Now they got guys like Hue Jackson getting a pat on the back for NOT going winless and squeaking out a one-win season.

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Tom Brady Gets Beat Out for AP NFL First Team All Pro. Drive for Five Continues

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ESPN – “The Associated Press 2016 NFL All-Pro Team is showing off the league’s new wave of stars… Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan is a first-time selection. Ryan edged out New England’s Tom Brady, who was suspended for four games to start the season.”

Gotta love ESPN. No matter the context or the circumstances, they will throw in a dig. “Matt Ryan edges out Tom Brady for First Team All-Pro, who was suspended, remember?” Regardless of the fact that they perpetuated the bullshit that got Brady suspended in the first place, which essentially caused him to miss out on 1st team and likely his 3rd MVP award.

Brady simply ran out of time. He was playing like the best QB in the league for 12 weeks, but when voters look and see that Matt Ryan has 38 TD passes to Brady’s 28, that’s basically it. Never mind the fact that Brady had the greatest TD to Interception Ratio in LEAGUE HISTORY (28-2). Or the fact that he was the driving force behind a 14-2 team (7 game winning streak) that just clinched the No. 1 seed in the AFC and looks like a lock to make the Super Bowl.

Brady was valuable. Probably the most valuable. But volume is what killed Brady here. I’ll tell you what though, TB12 and I will take a 5th Lombardi Trophy over a 3rd MVP Award every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

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The Drive for Five continues…

P.S. – Matt Slater was the lone Patriots representative on the AP NFL First-Team All Pro, which was his first so congrats to him. The Pats also had Second-Team reps in Brady, Cannon (Dante Scarnecchia is the O-Lineman whisperer), Butler, McCourty, Hightower and Ebner. You think Belichick might put that last one in his trophy case? Took a college RUGBY player and turned him into Second-Team All-Pro in the NFL. Incredible.

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LeBron “I’m Not the GM” James Now Openly Discussing Moves the Cavaliers Need to Make in the Media

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ESPN – “As the Cleveland Cavaliers finalize a deal to acquire sharpshooter Kyle Korver from the Atlanta Hawks on Friday, LeBron James declared that the work is not done for the defending champions.”

LeBron has it so, so good. The guy is 1,000% calling all the shots in Cleveland. He’s assembled the team he wants. He made the Cavs trade the No. 1 overall pick in Andrew Wiggins for Kevin Love (who he won’t even let in team Insta’s) and singlehandedly got the coach fired last year. Hell he probably even picks the Gatorade flavors in the lockerroom.

But if any moves go sour, if any acquisitions or trades flop, hey man I’m not the GM. YES YOU ARE. Well, now LeBron (I mean the Cavs GM David Griffin) has made another great move in trading (reported) for Kyle Korver. That’s just what this team needs to make life even more unfair for the rest of the East. But put all that aside, before Korver even lands in Believeland, LBJ is already dropping quotes like this to the media:

“We still got a couple more things we need to do,” James said at Cavs shootaround Friday morning in preparation for their game against the Brooklyn Nets on Friday. “We got to get a point guard.” It was a continuation of the point guard drum James was beating after the Cavs lost to Chicago on Wednesday. “Yeah, it’s my last time saying it,” James said. “We need a point guard.”

Man life is good when you’re LeBron. You’ve got an entire franchise by the balls on continuous 1-Year deals with the threat of opting out always looming. You get to be the de facto GM except for when shit hits the fan. And now he’s just publicly demanding additional moves to the press.

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I still LOVE Tyronn Lue though:

“With the trade for Korver still not official, Lue was initially coy about what his addition could mean. “What shooter?” Lue said. “Like me? Well, shit, if you add me, man, butt-naked shots, nobody around, I’d probably shoot 54 percent.”

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Tom Brady Now Hawking TB12 Under Armour Pajamas and I Need Them Like I Need Air

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SI – “Tom Brady says he can only work has hard—or perform as well—as his ability to recover. And he considers sleep the best way to recover, exactly why he strives for eight to 10 hours of uninterrupted zzz’s every night….With such an importance placed on sleep and recovery, it follows that the NFL star’s next signature product from Under Armour comes in the form of tech-infused sleepwear.”

Do I want the TB12 PJ’s? No that would be silly. I don’t want them. I *need* them. Like I need oxygen. If Tom Brady says I’ll sleep like a lamb wearing these things, then I’ll take two pairs. It the guy started a new religion a la Scientology, I would at least attend a couple masses just to get the feel.

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First he made UGGs cool for guys. Then he blew everyones mind with the most monk-like diet I’ve ever heard of. Now? PJ’s. If thats what it takes to play at an MVP level nearing 40 years old, like no one has ever done before, then I’ll hear him out.

“The TB12 Sleepwear line includes full-length shirts and pants—and a short-sleeve and shorts version—with bioceramics printed on the inside. The print, sourced from natural minerals, activates the body’s natural heat and reflects it back as far infrared energy, a common tool used to reduce inflammation and help the body recover faster.”

It reminds me of the Phiten necklaces legit every baseball player in the MLB and every guy in college wore. They were alleged to “improve your balance.” Thing was literally a little nylon rope with rubber at the end. If it was a really good one thought it had some shiny stickers on it too. Complete scam. But guess what? I bought the shit outta those things.

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