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Cam Newton is a Patriot. What Should We Realistically Expect?

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As you all have heard by now the Patriots did the most Patriots thing ever this week and signed a former elite player on a massively team friendly deal. The marriage of Cam Newton and the Patriots is not something I expected, but I also was told by the Boston media all offseason how high the team was on Jarrett Stidham with Brian Hoyer being the adult in the room for at least a little while. Welp, it seems like Belichick had merely been eyeing a fancy new toy for months just waiting for the price to drop before finally deciding to pull the trigger. Newton comes to New England on an incentive laden one-year prove it deal as the signal caller looks to bounce back from an injury shortened season last year.

Jarrett Stidham’s head must be spinning right now. The heir apparent to the Patriots QB1 only had to beat out veteran journeyman Hoyer to earn the job. Now he’s got Hoyer and a former league MVP boxing him out of the starting gig. Stidham took a road trip to Texas with the wife and got Wally Pipped before he even got off the Pike. Stidham checking his ESPN notifications and seeing the Newton signing:

By the way, this also goes to show you to never, ever, ever discount what the wise guys are saying in Vegas. Oddsmakers had the Patriots as the favorites to sign Newton months ago and we all thought what the hell are they talking about? Whoops.

Julian Edelman seems to already be on board with the former MVP coming to Gillette though.

Using the infamous and ridiculous Cam Newton font in his post legitimately made me laugh out loud.

Although Tom Brady was immediately in Edelman’s comments like an ex-girlfriend trying to honey dick him.

You left Jules, Tom! Let him be happy with someone else.

I’ve been a big fan of Ham Newton’s game ever since his days at Auburn when he crushed my dreams as a Boston based Oregon stan in the National Championship. So I’m pretty excited to see what one of the most dynamic QBs in the game can do with the best coach in the history of the league.

KEY STATS

People point to Newton’s career 59% completion percentage as a reason why he won’t fit here, but I fully expect the Pats to run the snot out of the ball this year. They were already trending that way the last couple of seasons, drafting Sony Michel in the first round, and this past offseason using the franchise tag to bring back Left Tackle Joe Thuney. Now factor in that Newton’s completion % is nearly 10% higher on play action than it is on non-play action plays. His completion percentage on play action is 68%, which will pick teams apart if the Pats can develop a decent running game in 2020.

If the Pats do want to jam Newton into the Tom Brady quick, short pass offense? His accuracy is not as good as Brady’s (Brady is 63% career), but their time holding onto the ball and average yards per throw is surprisingly close. In 2018 (Newton’s last *almost* full season with 14 games) Cam averaged 2.69 Time to Throw compared to Brady’s 2.62 seconds and 5 Completed Air Yards compared to Brady’s 5.6. He also had a Passer Rating of 94.2 compared to Brady’s 97.7 with a Completion Percentage of 67.9 compared to Brady’s 65.8.

Tom Brady is the GOAT and my favorite athlete of all time, but Cam Newton is not a bad replacement if healthy. Newton also only threw two more picks than Brady despite having an Aggressiveness % of 17.2 to Brady’s 13.9. And if that stat is entirely new to you as it is one I found that fits my agenda, have no fear: “Aggressiveness tracks the amount of passing attempts a quarterback makes that are into tight coverage, where there is a defender within 1 yard or less of the receiver at the time of completion or incompletion. AGG is shown as a % of attempts into tight windows over all passing attempts.”

INJURY HISTORY

As with any player, especially at QB, a recent injury history like Newton’s is alarming. Pats Pulpit does a great job of breaking it down extensively, but here are the spark notes.

  • January 2019 – Shoulder surgery on his throwing arm
  • December 2019 – Foot surgery for a Lisfranc fracture
  • 2014 – Ankle Surgery

It’s not an overly lengthy injury history, but it is a very recent one. Shoulder and foot injuries for a 31-year-old mobile QB are not ideal. Thats why he was available though and the last thing you want to do is repeat the Dolphin’s fatal mistake when they passed on Drew Brees in 2006 because of his shoulder injury. They went with Daunte Culpepper instead and have sucked for the past 14 years, meanwhile the Saints took a chance and won a Super Bowl as Brees flourished into a Hall of Famer.

FIT WITH PATS

As I mentioned earlier, this Patriots team already seemed poised to run the hell out of the ball so bringing in Cam Newton makes sense as they could utilize any of their half dozen runningbacks (is Damien Harris still alive and well?) and run the old Full House package from Madden ad nauseum. I don’t expect the Patriots to morph into an RPO team overnight like the Ravens did with Lamar Jackson, but I do expect a ton of Shotgun and spreading the defense out so Newton can utilize his strengths.

I honestly think James White might catch 100 balls this year (career high 87 in 2018). Newton looves throwing to his runningbacks. Sure he’s had the best RB in the game in Christian McCaffrey, but Newton threw to his RB1 more and more each year. From 2016-2019 McCaffrey had 80, 107, and 116 receptions on 113, 124, and a whopping 142 targets last year. Somewhat surprisingly that was *only* 8th in the NFL in total targets, but it also was 34 (!) more than any other RB in the game.

Obviously the Patriots have not had a mobile quarterback really ever, even before Brady, but when you see the actual numbers compared to Newton it is jarring.

Mobile quarterbacks have only very recently started to find success in the NFL so it clearly never hurt the Patriots before, but adding this element to their offense will be a welcome bonus to having Newton under center.

Mike Reiss said on ESPN the other day he believes the Pats will keep their offense 75% the same with about 25% changed to suit Newton.

Lets not forget that Josh McDaniels did in fact draft Tim Tebow in the first round back in 2010 while he was the HC in Denver. The Pats also had some fun with their most mobile quarterback since Doug Flutie when Jacoby Brissett was forced into emergency starting duties against the Texans in 2016. The Pats ran some RPO and Brissett ran the ball 10 times that game, including this 30 yard TD on a designed QB run.

And Brissett’s not even a mobile quarterback! He just looked that way compared to the Clydesdale that is TB12. Cam Newton ran a 4.59 40 yard dash at the combine compared to Brissett’s 4.94. Granted Newton has since had foot surgery, but my point is the Pats had a great game plan for a guy that runs a slower 40 time than me. Imagine what kind of damage they can do with a guy like Newton?

EXPECTATIONS

I’ve said in the past that watching Newton last year he looked cooked, but coming off a shoulder surgery less than a year prior and then injuring his foot really decimated any chance he had of stepping into throws. Not to mention his ability to scramble, so its no surprise he looked terrible. But Cam was great as recently as 2018 even though his season was cut short after 14 games with the shoulder injury. In 2018 Newton threw for 3,400 yards, 24 TDs, 13 INTs, 67.9% completion percentage, 94.2 Rating, with 488 yards rushing and 4 TDs. A far cry from his MVP year, but this is also with him throwing to his runningback, DJ Moore, Devin Funchess, Jarius Wright, Curtis Samuel, something called Ian Thomas, and a 33-year-old Greg Olsen. Not a ton of household names in there outside of McCaffrey.

CBS Sports’ Will Brinson was on Toucher and Rich this week calling Cam the greatest QB in league history and is *very* high on the fit.

“I think if Cam is healthy, Josh McDaniels and Bill Belichick will unleash a really lethal offense…Rob Gronkowski is the second greatest red zone threat in league history and Cam Newton is No. 1 because he can run the ball.”

Although would it surprise me if Belichick just up and decides it’s not working and cuts Newton in training camp? With an incentive laden one-year contract, it would not shock me. I’d hate to see that happen though because this is the most excited I’ve been to watch the Patriots since Brady left for Tampa.

The fit remains to be seen, but I think Newton is DYING to prove he is still an elite QB in a league that is now littered with mobile QBs. Newton was the prototype so it must really piss him off to see half a dozen QBs winning with his blueprint. He wants to prove he is still the alpha and if he is fully healthy, motivation will not be a problem so I am excited to see what Belichick and McDaniels do with him.

JERSEY TIME?

I have to admit, I was pretty meh on the new Pats jerseys when they came out, but I think part of that was probably with Brady leaving town there wasn’t really any other players that made me want to buy a $100 jersey. I already have an Edelman jersey, Devin McCourty flirts with retirement more and more these days, Dont’a Hightower is also on the wrong side of 30. I love Chase Winovich, but I need to see him on the field more before I even think about elevating him to jersey status. N’Keal Harry needs to catch about a dozen touchdowns this year to get into this conversation. So who does that leave? Maybe Stephon Gilmore? I guess if I had to pull the trigger it would be either White (a Super Bowl hero) or Patrick Chung (a longtime Patriot who does anything and everything). BUT, I gotta say, this looks pretty sexy.

I have a rule that I don’t buy jerseys of players unless they have recently signed a contract extension so as to not end up with another Sergei Samsonov jersey that immediately became a throwback about a week after I bought it. But if Ham Newton has 10 touchdowns in September, it’s going to be pretty hard to keep my credit card in my pocket. Even if he is only on a one-year contract.

Would still be a better jersey to won than the two *different* guys I’ve seen wearing John Lynch Patriots jerseys in Allston over the years (Lynch retired before the start of the 2008 season).

Or maybe the injuries have finally caught up to a guy who has absolutely abused his body for the past decade and Newton really is cooked. Well its a win-win situation for the Pats. They get a 31-year-old, hyper motivated former MVP QB, who will not be fazed in the slightest about replacing a legend and ultimately dominates with a fresh start OR we get A+ fashion shows every week that will provide weeks worth of content.

Like I said, win-win.

Michael Keaton May Return as Batman Alongside Ezra Miller’s Flash. Wait, What??

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The Wrap – After nearly 30 years, Michael Keaton is in talks to return to the role of Batman, to appear alongside Ezra Miller in Warner Bros.’ upcoming movie “The Flash,” TheWrap has learned exclusively. Talks with Keaton are in the very early stages, it is far from a sure thing, and can go either way. No details are currently available about how big or small Keaton’s role is.

That plot will introduce general audiences to the idea of the multiverse, one of the of core concepts underpinning DC Comics. For the non fanboy set, the multiverse refers to a shifting number of alternate universes that coexist within the larger reality depicted in DC comics. Originally created to explain various contradictory changes the company’s characters experienced over decades, it allows several different versions of the same characters to simultaneously exist and, occasionally, interact. Matt Reeves upcoming “The Batman” will not be affected and Robert Pattinson’s Bruce Wayne is still viewed as the future of the franchise.

In my head I imagine the head of the DC Comics movie studio as a high school kid just inhaling Adderall and Mountain Dew because these movies are ALL over the place. Ben Affleck is the Batfleck! Batfleck is writing and directing a standalone film! Batfleck retired! Robert Pattinson is now Batman! Hey what about bringing back 1989 Batman Michael Keaton to star alongside Ezra Miller, who literally just played the Flash next to Affleck’s Batman in two movies!

Before the fanboys jump down my throat, yes I understand the concept of the multiverse. I watched an episode of the Crisis on Infinite Earths episode just to see my dude Tom Welling reprise his role in Smallville one more time. It was a disappointingly short 90 seconds of screen time for the old WB’s Clark Kent, but that disappointment gave way to a crying fit of laughter when I saw who they had playing Lex Luthor.

What, was Michael Rosenbaum busy with a set at the Comedy Store that night? Ah, but I digress.

I think the entire concept of the multiverse (which not surprisingly was originally introduced to cover up inconsistencies over the years) opens up a world of possibilities. But its hard to feel good about anything DC does these days because they’ve already mucked up so many movies and planned universes. With that being said a multiverse allows DC to punt on the idea of a shared universe across multiple movies like Marvel and focus on self contained stories while plugging and playing our favorite characters and actors without the need to explain a ton of backstory. Whether that works with an audience outside of a hardcore comics fanbase is unclear, but I know I’d be pumped to see Ryan Reynolds’ Green Lantern pop into a movie with Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn as it’s revealed that The Joker is actually Mark Hammil’s version. Thats basically a 10 year old’s dream, just mixing and matching whatever toys you have and mashing em all together.

Or really any reason at all to bring my girl and Smallville legend Kristen Kreuk out of the Disney Vault.

But if we wanna get nuts then lets get nuts and do the Batman Beyond movie with Keaton as the old Bat.

Now THAT is a movie that would put asses in seats. I’d like to say Pattinson’s movie and this multiverse news with Keaton are just a giant smokescreen to distract us from a Batman Beyond movie secretly in the works, but I think that is giving the DCEU far too much credit. I’ve already written thousands of words about this nerdgasm of a movie so I won’t go down that rabbit hole again.

Either way I am fully on board with DC just throwing shit against the wall and seeing what sticks. Oh people love Wonder Woman and Aquaman Jason Mamoa? They’re in! People hate Jared Leto and the Batfleck retired? Out! Give me the Flash and the guy that played Batman 31 years ago and maybe another out of place character to see if we can catch lightning in a bottle with the mutliverse. That or yet another DC movie bombs and Jon Taffer just shuts it down.

Granted it came out a month after I was born so I’ve only seen it once or twice and I know it was the first comic book movie to play it serious, but I was never overly fond of Batman 1989 or Jack Nicholson, as Big Jim Murray put it, playing Jack Nicholson with makeup. With that being said I’ll have to go back and give it a rewatch because it sure sounds like Keaton could be coming out of retirement to don the black cowl once again.

Tom From Toonami Should File a Cease and Desist Against the NFL for These COVID Helmet Designs

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My first thought after seeing these helmet designs is that Tom from Toonami is currently filing a cease and desist against the NFL.

And if you’re too young to get that reference or never watched Toonami on Cartoon Network, then I pity you. Tom used to get me jacked up for all my nerdy anime as a kid. Pretty sure Toonami is singlehandedly responsible for every asshole with an internet connection and iMovie creating their own anime emo rock compilations and uploading them to Napster.

Now back to these space helmets that may or may not be a real thing. Obviously these are designed with player safety in mind as it relates to COVID because players can’t be wearing cotton masks made my Melissa from Etsy. I would however love to hear from the crowd that wanted to ban helmets entirely in an effort to stop defenders from launching into receivers with their heads. How about this astronaut helmet to discourage players from pretending they’re a land to air missile? Damned if you do, damned if you don’t I suppose.

Well, if this helps get players back on the field and brings the NFL back to this sports-less post-apocalyptic world then I am all for it. It’ll be nearly impossible to top the greatest helmet in league history though.

PS – I also just learned that apparently Cartoon Network legitimately killed Tom off? Like straight up gatted him. Wow. RIP brother.

Did “Speed” Rip Off “Family Matters?” In a Word, Yes.

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After catching an old episode of Family Matters the other day and rewatching Speed last night, a dark and insidious question came over me: Did Speed rip off Family Matters??

We all know the plot of the wildly popular 1994 action thriller Speed starring Keanu Reeves:

But I feel like a lot of people forget about a suspiciously similar plot of a 1991 episode of Family Matters. Here’s the synopsis of “Boom!” the Season 3 premiere of Family Matters.

Urkel befriends Lowell, an orangutan who has been abused through a series of laboratory experiments. At the precinct, Carl is exercising on a treadmill when he discovers it has been booby-trapped by a revenge seeker; the bomb hidden inside will go off should he step off the treadmill. He must rely on Lt. Murtaugh – and a little bit of luck – to disconnect the bomb’s wiring before it explodes.

Just watch this clip from Family Matters and tell me this isn’t the exact plot of Speed, except on a treadmill.

Compare that to the focal point of Speed:

I mean that looks pretty damn close to me. My wife told me to do some research before slandering the good name of Speed, but I mean come on. I tried to do a little digging to see what the rest of the internet thought, but it seems nobody is asking the tough questions. All I got from my Google search was a story about Eddie Winslow getting arrested for failing to pay child support.

I am merely here to ask thought provoking questions and let you come to your own conclusions, but if you ask me Speed 100% ripped off Family Matters. Reginald VelJohnson put up with too much shit on Family Matters to not get the credit he deserves for indirectly creating one of the biggest blockbusters in movie history.

With that being said, Speed is still one of the most rewatchable action movies ever made despite just how dumb it truly is. Dennis Hopper, Jeff Daniels, and Sandra Bullock are all great, but I am a Keanu Reeves stan and he is in the middle of a HEATER here. Just a decade plus of dominance starting with Bill & Ted in ’89, Point Break in ’91, Speed in ’94, The Devil’s Advocate (with Pacino!) in ’97, my favorite movie of all-time The Matrix in ’99, The Replacements in ’00, and Hardball in ’01. Keanu has always been a stoic, sometimes mistaken for stilted, actor which is why he absolutely kills it in some roles (Neo) and whiffs on others (Dracula) before landing a career defining role in yet another blockbuster action franchise, John Wick.

Did I just turn a blog accusing a movie of plagiarizing Family Matters into a Keanu Reeves stan session? I guess I did.

PS – Heres how the episode of Family Matters ended in case you weren’t watching it at 9 am on a weekday like me.

Lets Talk About What Nobody Wants to Talk About

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It’s been difficult to write much the last week while the country is gripped in protests, riots, civil unrest, and let us not forget about the coronavirus pandemic thats killed more than 100,000 people. 2020 has been the year from hell and the murder of George Floyd was the tipping point for many Americans.

In times like these we typically turn towards sports to help heal the rawest of wounds. It sounds silly, but it’s true. Sports has always been the unifying force that society uses to bring people of all different backgrounds together, if only for a couple of hours.

I’m torn on this because sports have unified people during horrific times like 9/11 and helped kickstart difficult conversations after tragedies like Eric Garner’s death, but maybe not having sports right now is for the best? Without any sports to speak of theres nothing for us to turn our attention towards. We’re all stuck at home and forced to have the difficult conversations that sometimes we’re all too quick to turn the page on.

The 24/7 news cycle never sleeps, but it seems like as a nation we’re all focusing on the same exact thing right now. We may fall on different sides of the issue, but we’re all talking about the same issue, which is how progress begins.

A lot of people are learning, and hopefully growing, in real time. Drew Brees faced the swift wrath of not just twitter, but his own teammates and peers from around the NFL after he denounced protestors kneeling during the anthem.

…and then apologized less than 24 hours later. Life comes at you fast, Drew. It was a shockingly tone deaf statement from one of the faces of the NFL. It’s been 3+ years since Colin Kaepernick started kneeling during the National Anthem to protest police brutality, but plenty of people, Drew Brees front and center, still think it’s about the military or “disrespecting the flag.”

I don’t know what kind of reaction Brees expected from these comments during what may be the height of racial tensions in my lifetime, but he has, unsurprisingly, been getting ripped by players across the league including by his own No. 1 receiver, Michael Thomas.

Malcolm Jenkins put out a heartbreaking video directly responding to Brees’ comments and effectively telling him to just shut up and listen.

The McCourty twins eviscerated Drew Brees for leaning on the military as a reason for denouncing the kneeling protestors.

Brees issued a lengthy apology this morning, less than 24 hours after his original comments, but I find it hard to believe he was this glib to begin with so the apology does ring a bit hollow. Hopefully Brees and everyone who sees this exchange use it as a learning experience.

We try to not get too political here, but after hearing the pain in the voices of some of my black friends it would be selfish to not use the minuscule platform we have here to at least say something. I’m a white guy in his thirties so I’ll never know what it’s like to be a black man in America, but one of the main things I heard from friends of mine is to simply see and acknowledge our differences. Saying you “don’t see color” is misguided because that only blinds you to the issues that people of different races experience on a daily basis. It’s important to see, and celebrate, the differences between us all. Ignoring those differences may be done with good intentions, but it takes away from our ability to use any privilege we do have to help, even if its just calling out a friend or a family member on their shit.

I’ll leave you with this video that former Eagles linebacker Emmanuel Acho put out yesterday: Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man

The Boston Marathon Has Officially Been Cancelled

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The Boston Marathon has officially been cancelled for the first time in its 124 year history. The marathon won’t be held for the first time since 1897 and that is a shocking headline. Not because I am a diehard marathon guy (I did lead my track team in points senior year NBD), but because the Boston Marathon is an institution in this city. I don’t know if New York and Chicago feel the same way about their marathons, maybe because they are gigantic cities with multiple professional sports teams and a billion other things to do, but the Boston Marathon is a huge deal in this city and that was only magnified after the bombings in 2013.

It’s something that brings the city together every year, signifies the start of spring, and even lets us celebrate Patriots Day with a few beers at Fenway before noon.

I understand why Marty Walsh and the city are uncomfortable hosting an event that would pack a million people together in the streets. I wish they had waited a little longer to make the announcement, but maybe there was a drop dead date that would have made it impossible to wait. It’s already impossible to predict that everything will be good to go in September.

I’m a borderline germaphobe to begin with so I wasn’t going to be running out to the marathon this year either way, but seeing an event in the city like this would have helped bring some sense of normalcy back to our lives. For now we’ll have to look elsewhere, but it doesn’t seem like there are going to be any large events this summer or maybe even the rest of the year and that is crazy to type.

Obviously I’m fortunate to have the Boston Marathon being cancelled be one of my only coronavirus problems, but shit COVID really has just taken 2020 and broken it’s back like Bane.

To the runners that have been training for months and months to raise money for charity, honor a since passed loved one, or to just challenge themselves with an absurdly long run; keep grinding, it’s a marathon not a sprint.

The “Snyder Cut” of Justice League is Coming to HBO Max

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ComicBook.com – Warner Bros. announced today that the Snyder Cut version of Justice League will be making its debut on HBO Max. It’s been over two years since Justice League opened in theaters and since then, while the film has largely fallen out of the general cultural conversation, it’s been very much alive with fans. Many of whom have been pleading with and demanding that Warner Bros. release the so-called “Snyder Cut” of the film.

Fans determined to see director Zack Snyder’s version of the DC team-up film have been passionate, online and off in their efforts to get the version brought to screen and now, those efforts have paid off…Earlier this month, a report indicated that Snyder held a private screening of his version of Justice League during the first quarter of 2020 with Warner Bros. executives in attendance. The report indicated that the screening may have gotten the wheels turning for something involving Snyder’s vision for the film – a version that Snyder himself has confirmed exists with at least some completed CGI.

If theres been one positive to this whole dumpster fire coronavirus quarantine is that it’s forced the hands of every entertainment company in the world to get creative with its content. We’ve been hearing about the #SnyderCut for 2+ years after director Zack Snyder left Justice League before finishing it, only to see the project completed (and tweaked) without him and ultimately panned by critics and fans as yet another mixed bag of mediocrity from DC. Well after years of incessant tweeting from DC fan boys with claims of how the #SnyderCut would have been entirely different and made for a better film…this better not suck. Snyder has taken up the mantle of twitter fans, which is a risky endeavor because expectations have long since gone past the point of reasonable. It could be an incredible movie that resurrects Justice League and turns it into what we all hoped it would be…or it could be a gigantic letdown after three years of hype from fans based on blind hope.

It does seem like HBO Max is serious about this though because there is some serious work going into it. Obviously as an unfinished cut of a superhero movie there is likely loads of CGI that needs to be put together. Hollywood Reporter is saying $20-$30 million was put into finishing the project and the #SnyderCut could premiere as a FOUR HOUR director’s cut like he’s Billy Walsh.

“This is my fucking deer hunter.” – Billy Walsh” – Zack Snyder

Probably because I am a gigantic nerd, but I have an affinity for comic book or video game movies gone awry because so often immense potential is wasted and a monumental IP is shelved because of it. Looking at you live action Dragon Ball movie…

How did Emmy Rossum get cast in that piece of crap? And how did it double its original ($30M) budget at the box office? I’m getting off track…

Seriously after all we’ve heard about the #SnyderCut, this better be good or Zack Snyder might just get put in the Disney Vault by Hollywood execs. The DC Universe was one of the most frustrating, up and down collection of movies in recent memory. Man of Steel was pretty good, not amazing, but Henry Cavill was a great Superman and you could see the potential. Batman vs Superman had an absolutely incredible trailer, but ended up being a convoluted mess despite solid performances from Cavill, Ben Affleck as the new Batman, and Gal Gadot in a career making performance as Wonder Woman. Suicide Squad was similar with an awesome trailer and a finished product that left you scratching your head despite solid performances from Will Smith as Deadshot and Margot Robbie as a perfectly cast Harley Quinn. And after that I think like a lot of people I kind of just lost interest. I have yet to see Aquaman, despite my bro crush on Khal Drogo, Shazam, or Birds of Prey. I’ve heard at least 2/3 of those movies are surprisingly good, but there is zero cohesion between any of these movies as the DC Extended Universe ultimately collapsed on itself.

Affleck is out as Batman and theres been lingering rumors about Cavill exiting sooner than later so the DCEU is basically on life support. Gal Gadot’s mega hit Wonder Woman and the sheer charisma of Margot Robbie are the only thing keeping this whole experiment of the DCEU from getting put on ice.

So now we get the #SnyderCut, which if you believe the internet message boards is an entirely different and much improved film than what we all saw in the final version of Justice League. Granted I watched this movie on a 6 inch screen on a cross country flight, but it was just a mixed bag of forgettable scenes with Joss Whedon quippy dialogue shoehorned in.

**Spoiler Alert*** If you still haven’t seen it after two months of quarantine you might as well just pop it in and give it a go. It’s not terrible, but it is forgettable. The only thing I really remember from this movie was the predictable return of Superman after he was killed at the end of Batman vs Superman. Except because this movie required extensive reshoots, Cavill was already filming Mission Impossible where his character rocks a sweet sweet mustache. Well the studio for MI wouldn’t let him shave it so DC had to digitally remove Cavill’s mustache for some Superman scenes, which left us with one of my favorite images from any superhero flick.

Laugh out loud funny.

If you’re not familiar with the back story, Snyder left Justice League after the tragic death of his daughter so the studio brought in Marvel darling and Avengers director Joss Whedon to finish the movie. Except if you’ve ever seen the Avengers and compare it to literally anything Snyder has done (Superman, Batman vs Superman, Sin City, 300) they have diametrically opposing styles. Whedon’s work is bright and fully of quippy dialogue whereas Snyder has a lot of dark, brooding, gritty tones. So to throw Whedon in for the final leg as he noticeably tries to lighten up the final product, it just doesn’t gel. Hence the outcry for the #SnyderCut.

Now what the hell could possibly be that different about this original cut that would make the movie that much better? I mean Jason Momoa has been beating this drum forever and recently Gadot and Affleck joined in to champion this version of the movie. So it would have to be significantly different right? Well Phil Owen from The Wrap had a pretty interesting theory on how differently things could go in the #SnyderCut based on footage from the original trailer that wasn’t used and/or reworked.

there are items in “Batman v Superman” clearly intended to set up a very specific plot thread that never came to be — and those items are not referenced in “Justice League” at all. I’m talking about Bruce Wayne’s nightmare of an apocalyptic future in which Superman is evil, and the subsequent visit from what seems to be a time-traveling Flash warning Bruce about what Superman will become should Lois Lane be killed…So they at some point assemble the team and resurrect Superman inside the Kryptonian scout ship in Metropolis by some means –the Mother Box may not have been necessary given that the Kryptonians used that pool of amniotic fluid to make babies. After they bring Superman back, he goes crazy in the same way he does in the finished film, but his fight against the Justice League goes on much longer and doesn’t end with him reverting to normal. The government even gets involved, bringing tanks into the fight that Superman of course easily handles. However it ends, Superman does not go visit Kansas with Lois afterward, because that scene in the movie was a reshoot addition.

It’s possible that Lois shows up to try to calm him down and she is killed in the chaos (or something happens that somehow makes him think she’s killed), and it’s likely that Superman continues to be not quite right the rest of the movie and becomes the threat that Batman feared and which the Flash warned him about in “Batman v Superman.”

It would be a very Snyder-esque payoff to the the themes set up in the early goings — the idea that Superman was a beacon who gave the people of Earth a moral center, and whose death threw everyone into disarray. They bring him back but he no longer functions as that beacon of goodness, which in turn makes the moral situation on Earth that much murkier. It would make sense, too, that even an angry Superman would amass followers willing to fight, for him as we saw in Batman’s nightmare.

This would make so much more sense to have a legitimately menacing and dangerous Superman wreaking havoc for more than the 5 minutes he does in the final version of the film. Why all that build up for what amounts to a temper tantrum? I definitely recommend giving Owen’s article a read as a lot of his ideas work a lot better in theory than the final film, which completely punts on Darkseid in favor of hitting the wrap it up box with the undeveloped motivation of a forgettable villain in Steppenwolf.

I don’t know what to expect, but I’ll be checking it out for sure, which is all HBO can ask for with its latest venture HBO Max. If you’re a DirecTV subscriber like me you’ll get HBO Max for free. Otherwise things get kind of confusing based on who your provider is and you may have to pony up for the new streaming channel, even if you already pay for HBO.

While there is no concrete release date, HBO Max says to expect the #SnyderCut of Justice League in 2021 so it could be a while before we see it.

This ESPN Tom Brady Documentary is Going to Break Me

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Talk about conflicting emotions watching this teaser for Tom Brady’s upcoming documentary, Man in the Arena. This is the type of stuff that was better than porn in my household for the last 20 years: The Brady 6, The Great Brady Heist, Tom vs Time. I could go on and on, hell I wrote a full blog about exactly this: A List of the Top Tom Brady Documentaries, Cameos, and Skits to Watch While Self Quarantining. Watching this now though is bittersweet knowing Brady is no longer a Patriot. Hopefully the NFL is able to play games this season, but even if they are my favorite player of all time is down in Florida and it’s not in a retirement home.

A lot of New England fans hold a grudge against Brady for leaving and while I am upset he left, I can’t hold it against the guy after everything he’s done for this franchise. He became the greatest player of all time with what amounts to two Hall of Fame careers, won 6 Super Bowls, and turned the Patriots into the most successful dynasty in league history. So if after 20 years of working for a hard ass like Belichick he finally had enough and wanted to enjoy himself a bit more, as a person I get that.

I can’t believe he’s partnering with ESPN for this though. Especially after the success of Tom vs Time on Facebook. On the one hand, if I was Tom Brady and the media brand that tried to smear my reputation and destroy my career multiple times asked to partner with me on a documentary I would tell them to go piss up a rope. On the other hand, Brady is trying to get his 199 Productions studio running at full speed right out of the gate and ESPN is is the Worldwide Leader so it makes business sense. I’d rather tell ESPN to kick rocks than go into business with them if I’m Brady, but I guess this is why I wouldn’t be a very good politician.

But my god get the tissues ready because this documentary is going to break me. I feel like my Perfect 10 girlfriend left me and I’ve just been avoiding those emotions for months pretending nothing happened. I advise everyone to take Bill Burr’s sage advice on how to handle a breakup and deal with the little things:

That Time I Got Boom Roasted By Jeopardy Legend Ken Jennings On Twitter

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You come at the king you best not miss.

So now that my nightmare has finally been realized and Jeopardy has run out of new episodes, they have started airing reruns and they played Ken Jennings’ first appearance earlier this week. As I tweeted out, Jennings was an absolute weapon from Day 1, but it was far from a runaway as he barely won in Final Jeopardy. On a sports question no less, which the Jeopardy nerds notoriously struggle with.

The Final Jeopardy category was 2000 Olympics and the clue was “She’s the first female track & field athlete to win medals in five different events at a single Olympics.” The answer was Marion Jones. Ken Jennings’ answer: Jones.

Like I know for a fact that Jennings wins this episode, but watching it I wasn’t sure if Trebek was going to bust his balls for not being specific enough.

So Ken sounded off on all of us for questioning his knowledge of trivia.

I actually went searching for the official Jeopardy rules and the full rulebook is not actually that easy to find. There are some basic rules and strategy guidelines on the Jeopardy website, but these debates continue to rage in the internet streets. Although I did learn that in the event of a tie after Final Jeopardy, Trebek will read one tiebreaker clue for no additional money and the first contestant to buzz in with the correct answer walks off with the win.

In fairness though, I’ve seen Trebek not give people credit on an answer for less egregious omissions. Maybe, thats just me remembering Trebek smoking people over the years for infractions that I thought the judges should have accepted.

But hey its not just me, Jon Tomase legitimately wrote an article about the same exact thing yesterday.

Jennings simply wrote “Jones,” which could’ve been interpreted as a guess of a common name. But after consulting with the judges, host Alex Trebek declared the answer valid because, “in terms of female athletes, there aren’t that many.”

“I had been trained by years of ‘Jeopardy!’ watching and college quiz bowls that you only give the last name,” he said. “Because there’s then an additional opportunity to introduce some kind of error. By default, I just wrote down ‘Who is Jones?’ I didn’t even think what a common last name that is. It wasn’t until Alex revealed my answer that I realized it looked like I just guessed a random last name. Who is Jones? Who is Smith? Who is Williams? There was what seemed like an eternity of a pause. He looked at the judges’ table. It didn’t take too long before he got a nod.

“I don’t think it was a tough judgment call. The ‘Jeopardy!’ rule is almost always ‘the last name is acceptable by itself’ unless there’s a particular ambiguity, like Benjamin Harrison versus William Henry Harrison or something like that. I did think for a moment, ‘There are probably a number of American athletes named Jones, is it not clear I meant Marion Jones?’ I remember feeling this wave of euphoria when Alex said it was correct. Somehow, against all odds in these 20 minutes, I survived.”

It’s crazy how after winning 74 games in a row and over $5 million in his Jeopardy career, Jennings nearly was a one and done Jeopardy contestant. That is some serious butterfly effect type stuff right there.

2K Sports Just Announced PGA Tour 2K21 from the CLOUDS

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Last year I went on the hunt for a golf game actually made this century since as we all know Tiger Woods PGA Tour hasn’t been a thing in years. Luckily I stumbled on to The Golf Club 2019, which is a pretty solid game as well as a very realistic round of golf.

It can be a little too realistic at times though and just as frustrating as actual golf is sometimes. Think Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge.

So I would like something a little more casual as it pertains to the laws of physics. Hell I’d love a new Mario Golf platform game, which Nintendo has kept locked away in its IP vault since 2003 for some reason.

Well out of nowhere 2K sports just announced they are coming out with PGA Tour 2K21! Talk about some much needed good news during this never ending quarantine. This is huge because despite its solid gameplay, one of the biggest drawbacks to The Golf Club 2019 is that it doesn’t have the full PGA license so there are only a couple of real courses and zero real golfers in the game. Well PGA Tour 2K21 seems to have no such issues as the teaser shows off the gorgeous 17th green island at TPC Sawgrass.

PGA Tour 2K21 will actually be developed by HB studios too, which is the group that made The Golf Club 2019. 2K teased the fact that more info will be released next week. So help me God if this game isn’t coming out real soon because without actual golf or actual anything happening right now, I think we are all going a little stir crazy.

Take my $60 right now and let me and Brooks Koepka CRUSH the competition as we go for the Tiger Slam.