Author Archives

Unknown's avatar

Red

The Indianapolis Colts Have a 1-0 Banner Hanging and I Can’t Stop Laughing

By on • ( Leave a comment )

This is the saddest banner I’ve ever seen since the last time the Colts hung a depressing loser flag in the form of AFC Finalist banners.

And just a reminder that yes these are real and the Colts have in fact been hanging these for a long time.

But hey when it’s the first time you’ve made the playoffs since the 2014 season when you got SMOKED by the Patriots, then you have to take what you can get. And right now a 1-0 in the playoffs banner is the best it gets in Indianapolis.

It will never get old dumping on the Colts because of all the fun we had dismantling them in the playoffs (except for the 2006 meltdown), the pumped in crowd noise, the owner’s fondness for driving around with drugs and cash, and of course being the rats behind Deflategate. Oh and don’t forget, Colt and Griff!

I try not to be too much of an arrogant Patriots fan, but this is just sad. Have some self respect guys. I know Lucas Oil Stadium is no Gillette, which literally had to be redesigned after the Patriots Super Bowl win over the Falcons because they had TOO many banners.

Before:

After:

It’s good to be a Patriots fan, but I would think a normal fan would at least settle for not hanging participation trophies to start.

The 300s Podcast Dream Team Patriots Chargers Playoff Preview

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Today is a super podcast of sorts. We’ll be previewing the Patriots/Chargers upcoming playoff game but I am also joined by the heavy hitters in Big Z, Mattes, and Joey B. Hopefully we don’t all yell over each other like an episode of The View.

Patriots are (-5) point favorites with a 48.5 over/under

Patriots are undefeated at home this year and the Chargers are undefeated outside of the Los Angeles DMA…

Philip Rivers has never beaten Tom Brady…

Whats your biggest concern as a Patriots fan?

Official Predictions

#RushHourRap – Lupe Fiasco – Kick Push

By on • ( Leave a comment )

I’ve been on a Lupe Fiasco kick this week after yesterday’s CRS post. Today I bring you Lupe’s first mega hit in the rap world with Kick Push, his ode to rebellious youth in the form of skateboarding. Lupe dominated the mid-00’s with his albums Food & Liquor in 2006, The Cool in 2007, and probably his most commercially successful album Lasers in 2011. The Cool is without a doubt my top Lupe album, but it’s hard to beat Kick Push in terms of individual tracks.

Before he knew he had a crew
There wasn’t no punk in they spitfire shirts and SB dunks
They would push till they could skate no more
Office building lobbies wasn’t safe no more
And it wasn’t like they wasn’t getting chased no more
Just the freedom was better than breathing they said

 

Arizona Cardinals Are Reportedly Hiring Kliff Kingsbury to be the Most Handsome Head Coach in the NFL

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Watch out for the Cardinals because they just dipped into the Handsome Men’s Club for their next head coach. The rest of the league has been put on notice. I was legitimately worried the Jets were going to hire Kliff and the Patriots were going to be tasked with defeating the handsomeness for years to come. I can breathe a sigh of relief now.

In all seriousness though I am intrigued as all hell to see what Kliff Kingsbury brings to the table as an NFL head coach. Granted he just got axed by Texas Tech a couple months back, the guy has worked with and developed Baker Mayfield, Patrick Mahomes, Johnny Manziel, and Case Keenum over the past 6 years. Pretty impressive lineup of guys under center. So for a league that is obsessed with finding the next young offensive guru, quarterback whisperer or whatever cliche you want to use, Kingsbury was bound to land a job somewhere in the NFL this year.

Now lets see what ya got, Kliff.

Washington Wizards to Offer Sports Gambling Broadcasts. Will My Attention Span Allow It?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – The future of sports-betting-infused game broadcasts will be on display Friday, when the Washington Wizards host the Milwaukee Bucks. NBC Sports Washington Plus will produce an alternate broadcast for the Bucks-Wizards game that will feature a free-to-play predictive contest with a $500 prize, along with real-time sports-betting data and statistics that will be displayed on-screen throughout the broadcast. 

The predictive contest, “Predict the Game,” will ask approximately 30 questions throughout the game, such as: “Will Wizards forward Trevor Ariza score 10 or more points in the first half?” In addition, odds, point spreads and over/unders will be shown on broadcast graphics.

Inject this into my veins.

The only problem I can see with this is I already spend 75% of my time watching a game looking at Twitter. I can literally be looking up stats about the game, chirping opposing fans, or just tweeting out videos like the one of the Bears mascot literally dying on the field.

But that speaks to a larger issue with people as a whole; massive fragmentation of attention. This is the one area where Millennials really *are* the worst, albeit with good intentions.

We all try and do as many things as possible at once. We are masters of multitasking. We grew up with video games that required you to sneak past 20 armed guards, snipe a moving target’s face off from half a mile away, then escape an enemy base, all while collecting the necessary pieces of intel and disabling communications for enemy reinforcements. So anytime someone’s mom tries to tell me that video games are bad for kids I tell them to KICK ROCKS. Video games are the REASON I am able to focus on so many different objectives and deliverables all at once.

However, the downside of that is with my attention being pulled in so many directions I simply cannot sit down and do just one thing anymore. I can’t even tell you the last time I sat down and watched an entire game without picking up my phone or laptop. I guess high school? But even then you were IM-ing your buddies. It’s honestly like I graduated to better drugs because while in hindsight AIM wasn’t that great, I *still* get a rush of dopamine to the brain when I see this:

So am I excited for a gambling focused broadcast? Hell yes, in fact I’ve said for years that NFL games need to have alternative broadcasts featuring just a couple of guys f-bombing the coaches for bad decisions in between play-by-play. It would be like watching a game with your buddies, provide a little levity to sporting events that are already too serious at times, and ratchet up the entertainment value all at the same time. Would you rather watch that or Dan Fouts trying to remember where he left his keys?

#RushHourRap – CRS – Us Placers

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Without a doubt, the most underutilized rap group of my lifetime. CRS aka Child Rebel Soldier was made up of Kanye West, Pharrell Williams, and Lupe Fiasco. Us Placers was released in 2007 and that was just about all we ever heard from CRS. To be fair this came out *right* before Kanye’s Graduation, and Lupe’s The Cool, which are two of the best rap albums of all time, so I can see how this may have gotten put on the back burner.

However, Kanye is known for collaborating with all kinds of artists, but is also infamous for boasting about forming rap super groups that never come to fruition. Some of these groups turn into classic platinum records like Watch the Throne with Jay Z. Another is just beginning as Ye has most recently teamed up with Kid Cudi to form Kids See Ghosts. Others result in an absolute fire single only to never be heard from again like CRS.

Kanye, Pharrell, and Lupe were also credited on the 2008 N.E.R.D. remix for Everyone Nose as CRS, which still bangs to this day, but is definitely more of a N.E.R.D. song than anything else.

Technically CRS had one other song that came out in 2010 called Don’t Stop, but it was a G.O.O.D. Fridays release so I don’t really count it. If you remember, G.O.O.D. Fridays was a free weekly music drop back in 2010, which was a godsend in college, that Kanye launched leading up to My Dark Beautiful Twisted Fantasy.  Kanye utilized the full roster of his label GOOD Music to release music every Friday for several months, including hits like Power, Don’t Look Down, and a number of tracks that eventually made their way onto MDBTF like Devil in a New Dress.

Time Lord Robert Williams Doesn’t Know What Day It is Because Time is Just a Social Construct

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo –  Boston Celtics rookie Robert Williams, sidelined the past five games with a groin injury, offered a refreshingly honest admission about the early days of NBA life.

“This might sound funny but I literally don’t know the days of the week,” Williams said after practice on (take note, Rob!) Sunday. “I promise, I couldn’t tell you what today is. I forget the days of the week. And with the traveling, mix up the hotel room numbers from the previous [night] – it’s a lot man. It’s a lot. It’s worth it though.”

Williams isn’t revealing anything that most rookies haven’t already experienced. The grind of NBA life, particularly with the heavy travel, makes it tough to keep the calendar straight. But in admitting it, Williams probably only strengthened the chances that his “Time Lord” nickname will stick.

Robert Williams doesn’t live in the same timeline of reality as normal human beings like you and me so he doesn’t know, nor need, the days of the week. Thats just how a Time Lord operates. So to that I say, forget these social constructs like “Monday” and just go out there and block some shots into the rafters, Robert.

Now go buy a Time Lord shirt!

Or better yet, a Time Lord clock…

I Am in a Race Against Time vs the Plastic Bag Ban in Boston

By on • ( Leave a comment )

CBS News – A Boston city ordinance banning major grocery store chains from providing plastic bags to customers went into effect Friday. The new law – enacted to help reduce pollution and clean up city streets – applies only to checkout bags, described in the ordinance as carryout bags with handles. Retailers can still stock recyclable paper bags, compostable bags or reusable bags and sell them for at least 5 cents, as long as the charge is advertised near the checkout location, according to the ordinance, signed into law by Mayor Marty Walsh last December.

I bring my lunch to work every day in a repurposed Stop and Shop plastic bag because I’m a man of the people. I’m also not 5 so I don’t own a lunch box. However, today I had a very, very sobering realization. Finished making my lunch, got all the essentials, I reach under the sink and realized I am running *dangerously* low on plastic bags. Like we are at DEFCON 1. The Mrs. has already transitioned our grocery shopping over to the reusable satchels that Big Grocery has been trying to force down our throats for years so there are no new plastic bags coming into my household any more.

What is a man to do?

Do I cave and buy an Avengers lunchbox like a child? Do I just haul my Yeti cooler around like I’m heading to lay some concrete at the construction site?

I am a man at a crossroads in his life.

Come to think of it, I did buy one of the reusable grocery satchels years ago, but it’s a Super Mario one because I really am an overgrown manchild. Might be a bit aggressive for carrying my lunch around though…

#RushHourRap – Black Star – K.O.S. (Determination)

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Black Star was a rap group consisting of Mos Def and Talib Kweli with K.O.S. being released in 1998 and was the duo’s only album under the shared name. Do yourself a favor and go give this entire album a listen then do what I did and go down the rabbit hole that is the career of Mos Def. One look at that guy’s career is a great way to inspire yourself to get off your ass and go get it.

At exactly which point do you start to realize
That (life without knowledge is death in disguise?)
That’s why, knowledge of self is like life after death
Apply it, to your life, let destiny manifest

Chicago Kicker Cody Parkey May Have Just Killed the Bears Mascot

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Being a kicker must be the absolute worst way to live. Sure, you get paid millions of dollars but you never get any credit unless your name is Adam Vinatieri because you’re supposed to hit your kicks. So it’s a lose lose situation. When you miss a game winning kick you might as well just pack your shit because the entire city now wants your head on a spike. Even the poor mascot couldn’t take it and apparently had a heart attack right on the field.

Nick Foles just continues to snatch souls right out of his opponents as his deal with the devil rolls on.