Jerry Seinfeld Is Playing With My Emotions And I Do Not Appreciate It
Decider – “So all these sitcoms are having a resurgence,” DeGeneres began. “So Roseanne is doing it, Murphy Brown – is that really true? Murphy Brown’s doing it?” “I think I know where you’re going with this, but why don’t you finish it,” Seinfeld jested. “Do you think, Jerry, there would be a possibility that Seinfeld would come back?” DeGeneres asked. “It’s possible,” he responded, causing the audience to erupt into wild applause and cheers.
Jerry Seinfeld you old wily bastard. Playing with my and everyone else’s heartstrings. He knows what he’s doing. He knows how to play the game. Still, this is just evil.
The worst part about it is, if in a limited fashion, I don’t think bringing back “Seinfeld” would be a bad thing. It’s well known that the show stopped because Jerry Seinfeld himself sort of just ran out of shit to write, he’s said it himself. Ratings were great, the show was popular, but he was just sort of done.
That said, I’ve long contended that one season – just one little season of television – addressing modern technology and the information age’s influence on those characters’ lives would be HILARIOUS. Imagine George’s DMs getting out? Imagine Jerry getting dumped over a “new phone who’s this?” when he legit had to get a new phone? There is NO END in sight.
RUN WITH IT JERRY. RUN WITH IT.
Let the Brady Hate Flow Through You, Rob
“Joe Montana is officially back in the spot of the greatest QB of all time. He is the GOAT — 4-0, 11 TDs, 0 INTs, 3 MVPs… With this loss now, Brady is out of the conversation.” — @RobParkerFS1 pic.twitter.com/I0GkpZKvGU
— UNDISPUTED (@undisputed) February 6, 2018
What’s worse: listening to Brady fans trying to convince people that 5-3 is better than perfection at 4-0 or listening to LeBron fans trying to convince people that 3-5 is better than perfection at 6-0.
Montana – 4-0 in Super Bowl.
Jordan – 6-0 in NBA Finals.#nodebate— Rob Parker (@RobParkerFS1) February 6, 2018
Mr. Parker, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Honest to Christ, who could actually believe what Rob Parker said? How could Parker himself actually believe what he said? Had Tom Brady played like garbage in the Super Bowl maybe Parker could argue that his legacy took a hit. But Brady didn’t play like garbage. He actually played his best Super Bowl and had the best postseason of his career. After being named the league’s Most Valuable Player. At age 40. So give it a rest, Rob.
And by the way, Rob, no one is arguing that LeBron James has been better in the NBA Finals than Michael Jordan was. No one. But if LeBron can find a way to win three titles at the end of his career the way Jordan did, I will be the first in line to argue that 6-5 in the NBA Finals is better than 6-0. Why the hell should Jordan get bonus points for getting bounced in earlier rounds?
Same goes for Joe Montana. Brady has played in eight Super Bowls and has gone one-and-done in the playoffs twice. Montana appeared in four Super Bowls and went one-and-done in the playoffs four times. Outside of Super Bowls, Brady is 22-7 in the playoffs. Montana is 12-7. We’re gonna take off points because Brady won more games, put his team on his back more often, and lost Super Bowls that no other quarterback could get even get their team tickets to?
Totally Uninformed Bowl Game Gambling Picks – Round 8
New Year’s Day is upon us. One last day to waste watching football on your couch from noon to midnight. The last three meaningless bowls kickoff early in the day, with the playoff kicking off late this afternoon.
My last round of picks went just as well as most of my other picks this bowl season – not great. With my Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee in hand, I try my best at picking the final five games before next week’s national championship game. Just like the consolation bracket in your fantasy football league, I don’t have much left to play for. Just trying to save some face at this point.
Round 7 (1-3) / Overall (11-23 )
OUTBACK BOWL – Michigan vs. South Carolina – 12 p.m. ET SC +12
PEACH BOWL- No. 7 Auburn vs. No. 12 UCF – 12:30 p.m. ET AUBURN -9.5
CITRUS BOWL – No. 14 Notre Dame vs. No. 17 LSU – 1 p.m. ET LSU -3
ROSE BOWL GAME (CFP SEMIFINAL) – No. 2 Oklahoma vs. No. 3 Georgia – 5 p.m. ET GEORGIA -2.5
SUGAR BOWL (CFP SEMIFINAL) – No. 1 Clemson vs. No. 4 Alabama – 8:45 p.m. ET
ALABAMA -3
Totally Uninformed Bowl Game Gambling Picks – Round 7
Another big day of bowl games this Saturday. After a nice day of picks Thursday, a bit of a step back on Friday. With four games on the docket today, a chance to get some momentum as we get set for the New Year’s Day games and the College Football Playoff.
Round 6 (2-3) / Overall (10-20)
TAXSLAYER BOWL – Louisville vs. No. 23 Mississippi State – 12 p.m. ET LOUSIVILLE -7
LIBERTY BOWL – Iowa State vs. No. 20 Memphis – 12:30 p.m. ET MEMPHIS -4
FIESTA BOWL – No. 11 Washington vs. No. 9 Penn State – 4 p.m. ET WASHINGTON +3
ORANGE BOWL – No. 6 Wisconsin vs. No. 10 Miami – 8 p.m. ET WISCONSIN -6
Totally Uninformed Bowl Game Gambling Picks – Round 6
Finally some good news. Thursday was my best day of picks so far this bowl season. It looked like it would be a good day when Virginia took the opening kickoff of the Military Bowl back for a touchdown. That optimism quickly evaporated, though, as Virginia went on to allow 49 unanswered points to a team that did not complete a single pass the entire game.
Thankfully I was able to rebound with the three late games all going my way. Even Stanford, who blew a 21-3 lead, held on to cover.
Here are the picks for Friday. Hopefully this bike doesn’t fall apart on me.
Round 5 (3-1) / Overall (8-17)
BELK BOWL – Wake Forest vs. Texas A&M – 1 p.m. ET WAKE FOREST -3.5
SUN BOWL – No. 24 NC State vs. Arizona State – 2 p.m. ET NC STATE -6.5
MUSIC CITY BOWL – Kentucky vs. No. 21 Northwestern – 4:30 p.m. ET NORTHWESTERN -9.5
ARIZONA BOWL – Utah State vs. New Mexico State – 5:30 p.m. ET NEW MEXICO STATE -4
COTTON BOWL CLASSIC – No. 8 USC vs. No. 5 Ohio State – 8:30 p.m. ET USC +7.5
Totally Uninformed Bowl Game Gambling Picks – Round 5
I can’t believe I picked Boston College. I knew better. Again, it’s clear that I’ve learned nothing this month.
This is starting to get serious and I’m starting to get worried. Round 4 of my picks, Wednesday in particular, was another rough outing. We’re going to take it one day at a time from here on out. And because I’m just throwing darts at this point, no explanation of my picks is warranted. They’re getting tougher to defend anyways.
Round 4 (1-6) / Overall (5-16)
MILITARY BOWL – Virginia vs. Navy – 1:30 p.m. ET VIRGINIA +1.5
CAMPING WORLD BOWL – No. 19 Oklahoma State vs. No. 22 Virginia Tech – 5:15 p.m. ET
OKLAHOMA STATE -5.5
ALAMO BOWL – No. 13 Stanford vs. No. 15 TCU – 9 p.m. ET STANFORD +3
HOLIDAY BOWL – No. 16 Michigan State vs. No. 18 Washington State – 9 p.m. ET MICHIGAN STATE -2
Totally Uninformed Bowl Game Gambling Picks – Round 4
My picks went 2-2 over the weekend, and I’ll take anything just to get back on the board at this point. With seven games today and tomorrow, there’s a good chance to get my head close to back above water.
Record in Round 3 (2-2) / Overall (4-10)
HEART OF DALLAS BOWL – Utah vs. West Virginia – Dec. 26, 1:20 p.m. ET
Mostly a pick against Utah, as they went 2-6 over their last 8 games. WEST VIRGINIA+6.5
QUICK LANE BOWL – Duke vs. Northern Illinois – Dec. 26, 5:15 p.m. ET
Duke has won two in a row, but Northern Illinois feels like a better pick. NORTHERN ILLINOIS +6.5
CACTUS BOWL – Kansas State vs. UCLA – Dec. 26, 10 p.m. ET
Kansas State fared better versus ranked teams this season. KANSAS STATE -6.5
INDEPENDENCE BOWL – Florida State vs. Southern Miss – Dec. 27, 1:30 p.m. ET
Florida State should win, but Southern Miss should cover. Clearly I haven’t learned anything this month. SOUTHERN MISS +16.5
PINSTRIPE BOWL – Boston College vs. Iowa – Dec. 27, 5:15 p.m. ET
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but BC played pretty well the second half of the season. BOSTON COLLEGE +2.5
FOSTER FARMS BOWL – Arizona vs. Purdue – Dec. 27, 8:30 p.m. ET
Going with the high-flying offense in this one. ARIZONA -3
TEXAS BOWL – Texas vs. Missouri – Dec. 27, 9 p.m. ET
Looking for Mizzou to make it 7 straight to close out the season. MISSOURI -2.5
Totally Uninformed Bowl Game Gambling Picks – Round 3
It was a very rough week for my picks, no two ways about it. The favorites went 4-1 and I picked four dogs. Even worse, none of the games were even close. No game this week was closer than three scores. The average margin of victory was 34.2 points.
Luckily, we’re only a quarter of the way through bowl season. There’s still time to turn this ship around. And this week reminded me that favorites are favored for a reason. Just like March Madness, you need to pick a few upsets but you can’t pick three 14 seeds to win in the first round. I won’t be afraid to go with the chalk more frequently the rest of the way.
With three games scheduled for Saturday and one for Sunday night, here are my picks for the remaining games through Christmas.
Record in Round 2 (0-5) / Overall (2-8)
BIRMINGHAM BOWL – Texas Tech vs. South Florida – Dec. 23, 12 p.m. ET on
I’ll go with one of the highest scoring offenses in the country here. USF -2
ARMED FORCES BOWL – Army vs. San Diego State – Dec. 23, 3:30 p.m. ET
No line on this game but I’ll pick the Aztecs to win. SDSU
DOLLAR GENERAL BOWL – Appalachian State vs. Toledo – Dec. 23, 7 p.m. ET
Appalachian State lost to UMass this year. TOLEDO -8
HAWAI’I BOWL – Fresno State vs. Houston – Dec. 24, 8:30 p.m. ET
Boise State proved me right, so I’ll show some more love to the Mountain West.
FRESNO STATE +2
Russian Olympic Team Hit With More Crushing Sanctions
NPR – Russian athletes who compete in the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics must wear a simple logo that reads “Olympic Athlete from Russia” — and their uniforms can’t include other words or references to their home country, an International Olympic Committee panel said Wednesday.
The IOC’s Olympic Athlete from Russia Implementation Group released guidelines for uniforms, accessories and equipment two weeks after Russia was effectively banned from the upcoming Olympics because of a widespread and organized doping campaign.
That’ll teach ’em! I honestly don’t how Russia will ever recover from this humiliation. After running one of the most elaborate and sophisticated doping schemes in sports history, Russia has been totally banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics.
Of course, Russian athletes will still be permitted to participate in the games as independents. The IOC wouldn’t want to punish the athletes who signed up for steroids too late didn’t participate in the doping scheme. However, they will be allowed to compete only with severe restrictions. They will not be referred to as Russians; they will be referred to as “Athletes from Russia.” Huge distinction. Also, they will not be allowed to wear the color blue. They will only be allowed to display two of the three colors of the Russian flag. Incredibly demoralizing.
Tough but fair.
Who negotiated this deal for the IOC? Saul Goodman? Team sports like ice hockey should be real a hoot.
“Who’s playing for the gold medal today. Is that Russia?”
“Nope! Just a group of guys who formed a team right before the games started, who all happened to be from Russia. What a coincidence!”
What a joke. Ban Russia entirely or admit that this is just one big charade. I WANT TO SEE PEOPLE UNDER PRESSURE!
The 300s 