Celtics Unable to Complete the Sweep of Sixers (and the Refs)

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The Celtics missed an opportunity to put the Sixers away and end the series last night on a clean 4-0 sweep as they fell 102-93 to Philadelphia. While some serious home cooking from the refs didn’t cause the C’s to lose, it certainly didn’t help. Basically all of Boston’s top players were in foul trouble mid-way through the 2nd quarter, which is unusual to say the least.

Thats 4 rotation players and 2 of your top 3 offensive threats already forced to take their foot off the gas just to make it through the game (Marcus Smart fouled out later anyways). Hell Brad Stevens even had to jump in and get a technical foul just to prevent the refs from tossing Jaylen Brown on a shaky call later in the night.

Aside from all that nonsense though, the Celtics were sloppy, forcing up prayer shots and turning the ball over way too much.

I know we were ready to curb stomp Philly, but they are a pretty damn good team and when you make a boatload of mistakes anybody is going to make you pay for that.

In Scary Terry News, Terry Rozier finished with 11 points, 8 rebounds and a near fist fight with Joel Embiid.

Just to put this into perspective, Joel Embiid is 7’0″ tall and Rozier is 6’2″ Thats a full 10 inches Rozier is giving up and he don’t give a shit. Gotta love the tenacity. And even on a night where he only shoots 4-11 Terry is still feeling himself.

Also getting into it with Embiid was one Marcus Morris who were both jawing and talking shit throughout the game. Morris was able to body Embiid in the trash talk department though.

At least I think it was Marcus?

What really put the nail in Celtics coffin though was this sequence late in the game. Down 10 with 7 minutes to go the C’s were in a good spot to chip away, play D, and extend the game. Instead they uncharacteristically started playing hero ball and forcing a bunch of terrible looks rather than taking what was given to them. Over the next 5 minutes here’s what the Celtics did on offense.

Terry Rozier 3 pt MISS

Marcus Smart 2 free throws

Marcus Smart layup

Jayson Tatum 3 pt MISS

Terry Rozier 3 pt MISS

Marcus Morris 3 pt MISS

Jayson Tatum 3 pt MISS

And that was basically the game. Down 10 points with plenty of time left the Celtics force five three pointers and miss them all. Not great.

The Celtics will now look to close out the series back at home on Wednesday night. The Sixers and TJ McConnell (19 pts) in particular are starting to feel themselves a little bit, but put them back in the Garden and get ahead early and this team will roll over. Lets put this team away so we can actually face the final boss in the Eastern Conference Finals with some gas left in the tank.

My biggest concern? LeBron finished off his sweep of the Raptors so now he’s just chilling on his couch getting extra rest waiting for us…

Vegas Underdog Celtics Go for the Sweep Tonight Against Vegas Favorite Sixers

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The Celtics have been underdogs in each of the first 3 games against Philly this series and are now up 3-0 and on the brink of a sweep. Massholes everywhere are putting Vegas bookies in the hurt locker this past week. The Celtics were +9 the other night for christ’s sake and it took a buzzer beater (and confetti!) just for the Sixers to force OT and lose again.

The Celtics, per usual, are fun as all hell to watch because they’re tough, gritty, smart with the ball, and are playing above their talent level. Once Hayward got hurt 5 minutes into the season, most reasonable hopes of a Larry O’Brien trophy went out the window. Then once Kyrie Irving got shut down for the season, I was content to just win a round. Not the C’s though. These guys are giving the Sixers fits, who are basically the bully on the block that gets punched in the nose and doesn’t know what to do.

Young guys like Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum are setting records and look years beyond their age. Seriously, these guys have been incredible. I’m done with the Kawhi Leonard trade rumors. I’m not moving these guys for anyone outside of Anthony Davis, let alone both of them for a player who’s battled injuries and has been a general sourpuss for the last 2 years.

Terry Rozier has become a national story as Scary Terry continues to put up huge numbers both on, and off the court (and murdered Eric Bledsoe as a result).

Al Horford has probablyyy heard the Average Al nickname and its probablyyy pissed him off as he’s looked like the max player we all hoped for night in and night out. Just look at the numbers. In the playoffs this year, Horford is AVERAGING 17.9 points (a career high)  and 8.6 rebounds per game.

Not to jinx it, but assuming the C’s don’t completely implode, we’re set up for another classic Eastern Conference Finals rematch with LeBron James. The Celtics bodied LeBron for the first half of his career and legitimately chased him out of Cleveland because he couldn’t get past Boston in the playoffs. The second and third acts of his career have been a different story though as LeBron has been ridiculously great for an unprecedented number of years and taken the Celtics behind the shed a few times along the way. At 33 you’d think LeBron would be slowing down, but nope the guy has gone Super Saiyan and is just putting on an absolute clinic carrying the Cavs to the ECF hitting iconic game winners in the process (soft defense by Toronto is besides the point).

So whether the Celtics are ready to get past LeBron remains to be seen, but goddamn will it be fun to watch. A young, long, athletic, and best of all cocky squad of guys in their early 20s gunning to knock off the best player of my generation will be legitimate theater.

Blockbuster Alaska Not Going Down Without a Fight

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AP — A celebrity jockstrap that’s been the buzz of Alaska for nearly two weeks went on display Wednesday at one of the nation’s last Blockbuster video stores in an effort to ramp up business.

“I tell you, we’re going to get a lot of traffic, is what I’m expecting,” said Kevin Daymude, general manager of Blockbuster Alaska.

He expects the store to get a lot of calls: “Did you get it in? Can we go see it?” he said.

The jockstrap has a strange history since actor Russell Crowe wore it in the 2005 movie “Cinderella Man.”

When I think of some of the best promoters in America, I think of Vince McMahon, Don King and Dana White. Today I add Kevin Daymude to that list. Now that he’s got Russell Crowe’s jockstrap, I realize how badly I want need to visit Alaska.

I’ve been to the Warner Bros. Studio and the Sony Pictures Studio, but I’m not sure they can stand up to the showcase Daymude is putting up in his Anchorage Blockbuster these days. In addition to his jockstrap, Daymude is also putting Crowe’s robe and boxing shorts from Cinderella Man on display, as well as his vest from Les Misérables. Anchorage, Alaska, is quickly becoming the mecca for Russell Crowe aficionados.

Before I book my flight, though, I should probably check on their hours and make sure that they’re open and accessible year round. I recommend you do the same. They can be reached at (907) 338-3456. I can’t wait to go, though. I might have to rent a copy of The Net while I am up there too. I just hope my hotel room has a VCR.

 

The 300s Plays the Ponies: Kentucky Derby Edition

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So with one of the biggest gambling days of the year, the Kentucky Derby, falling on one of the biggest drinking days of the year, Cinco De Mayo, it was only right for the whole staff to put down a month’s worth of rent on some ponies. Live odds for the Kentucky Derby can be found right here, but its almost better if you don’t even know the odds because if you tell me you know what you’re talking about I immediately picture Kramer at the track.

Without further ado The 300s Plays the Ponies:

Big Z: I’m taking Bolt d’Oro as my pick. My trifecta pick is Bolt d’Oro, Good Magic, and Vino Rosso 1-2-3. I’m picking this on Friday morning, so hopefully no one ends up at the glue factory before tomorrow night. I’ll never forget the time my dad bet on a horse at Suffolk Downs during the Hot Dog Safari that broke its leg on the way to the post.

Papa Giorgio: Justify and Mendelssohn getting the early love from the experts, My Boy Jack is my vote based on the name alone. Derby is a great race to bet, best spread all good ponies, good way to make some cash

Joey B: Flameaway. The New York Times described this horse as girtty and thats all I need to hear. Tom Brady is gritty. Frankie Edgar is gritty. Prime Kobe was gritty. Flameaway at 30-1? C’mon. Lets fucking go.

Red: Full disclosure, I am basically picking my horse the same way your girlfriend picks March Madness games; its all in the name baby. I’m taking Magnum Moon at 13-1. Apparently he was just crushing the competition during Kentucky Derby qualifiers and his trainer Todd Pletcher won the Derby last year. And with a name like Magnum? The choice is already made for me.

 

Celtics Go Up 2-0 On the Sixers as Likely ROY Ben Simmons Drops ONE Point

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Likely Rookie (not really a rookie) of the Year Ben Simmons was on fire last night with ONE point the whole goddamn game. I feel like I could get at least 2 points in a game on pure luck alone. You had Philly’s gigantic freak of nature center Joel Embiid hitting freaking fallaway three pointers, yet Ben Simmons can’t get one basket??

The onslaught of memes though are going to take some monster playoff games for Simmons to ever really scrub.

Ryan Donato Will Play for the Bruins Tonight. Finally.

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The baby faced assassin will finally be let out of the luxury box as Bruce Cassidy confirmed Ryan Donato will play tonight. After a blistering start to his career in the regular season with 9 points and 5 goals in 12 games, Donato was tasked with riding the pine for the majority of the playoffs.

For a guy with just a dozen NHL games under his belt it wasn’t really a surprise. For such a clearly gifted scorer to be unavailable while the Bruins struggled offensively was tough to watch though. Now with the B’s facing a 2-1 deficit in what amounts to a must win game they’re shaking things up after a sloppy past 2 games. Not to mention ineffective (3 goals in the last 2 games).

What better way to shake things up than to have an absolute sniper floating around on the ice? We saw glimpses of it earlier this year; Donato has an absolute ROCKET of a shot. So while he may not be as polished defensively as they’d like, its time to try something new before this series really gets away from them. This isn’t Claude’s team anymore, we don’t need 12 fourth line forwards who grind and always stay home. This is a faster, more talented, flashier team with young studs like Pastrnak, McAvoy, DeBrusk and “older” guys like Krug and Marchand wheeling and dealing out there in the offensive zone. Lets build on that and we can all reminisce about the Big Bad Bruins later, OK?

¡Feliz Cinco de Cuatro!

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Arrested Development is back!

As someone who binged the first three seasons on Hulu during the Bush administration, I was pumped when season four hit Netflix in 2013. I won’t lie, though, season four was hard to follow and left me disappointed. I’ve been looking forward to a chronological cut of season four since I heard someone on reddit put one together nearly five years ago.

Hopefully the season four recut gets Arrested Development back on track with a new season five not too far away.

Image result for arrested development chicken dance

 

Is Rajon Rondo Resurrecting His Career Purely Out of Spite the Most Impressive Thing He’s Ever Done?

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I’ve never seen a player absolutely thrive on shit talking and haters and proving people wrong more than Rajon Rondo.

Sure, plenty of athletes have a chip on their shoulder, but this is different. This is the same guy that used to smoke kids in Connect Four back in Boston because he was so psychotically competitive.

Rondo’s career looked cooked after he was a disaster in Dallas and then was creating all sorts of drama in Chicago with Dwyane Wade and Jimmy Butler (all not on the team anymore). He had a brief resurgence in the playoffs with the Bulls (averaged 3.5 steals per game) and putting a real scare in the Celtics before getting injured and missing the rest of the series, albeit in a fire flames short sleeve suit.

Now playing for the New Orleans Pelicans he has looked like the Rondo of old, the guy that was putting up triple doubles in between Pierce, KG, and Ray Allen. He’s averaging a career high 12.7 assists per game in the playoffs to go along with 12.7 points per game and 7.5 rebounds per game. His .484 FG% is a career high in the playoffs to go along with a career high eFG% of .531, with his second best season coming during the 11-12 run with the Celtics when he had a eFG% of .482.

And its all because he thrives on the hate. Ray Allen was chirping Rondo while promoting his new book and Rondo clapped back hard. Rondo is now living off of nothing but his opponents frustration as he goes toe to toe with the biggest instigator in the league in Draymond Green. The dude is thriving off of it.

Just egging Draymond on.

Some of us get up in the morning for our families, for our jobs, for our dogs. Rajon Rondo gets up in the morning with the sole pursuit in life of pissing people off while dropping dimes on the hardwood. And for that, I’m grateful.

 

Maybe the Browns Are Terrible Because They Base Draft Picks on What Random People at the Airport and Homeless Guys Say

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Washington Post – “The Browns apparently didn’t draft UCLA quarterback Josh Rosen because of a chat one of the team’s personnel executives had with a Bruins volleyball coach at an airport...Alonzo Highsmith, Cleveland’s vice president of player personnel, talked about the team’s decision to use the No. 1 pick on Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield…As for why Highsmith had Rosen third on his list behind Mayfield and Darnold? Here’s the Canton Repository’s Steve Doerschuk with the transcription:

“I was at an airport,” he said. “UCLA’s volleyball team was in front of me. You heard so much about Rosen. He’s this or that. We all know how people talk.

“So I asked one of the volleyball coaches, ‘What’s Rosen like?’ He said, ‘Aaaaa, you should probably ask his girlfriend. She’s one of the players. She’s over there.’

“I’m like, ‘All right coach. That’s good enough.’

“I don’t know what all this means, but there was something about him that bothered me.”

After I read this article I realized one thing:

The Browns have been terrible my entire life and they’re probably going to continue being terrible so long as they base their Draft Day decisions on innoccuous encounters at the airport or what a RANDOM HOMELESS MAN SAYS.

Cleveland fans, your GM literally admits these things in public, what the hell is he saying in private? That should scare you if this is the man running your franchise.

Cleveland’s VP of Player Personnel Alonzo Highsmith apparently didn’t draft Josh Rosen because the UCLA volleyball coach didn’t give Rosen a tongue bath when randomly approached at the airport. He didn’t even say anything bad either, he just told Highsmith to ask Rosen’s girlfriend who was standing mere feet away. Nah, I don’t like the way this “feels” so Rosen’s off our board. Huh?

Thats a great way to run an organization. Josh Rosen may suck for all I know, but thats besides the point. The Browns are apparently using Survey Monkey and reading the tarrot cards to decide who to draft rather than using analytics (RIP Sashi), statistics, physical results or anything tangible.

The factory of sadness churns on.

Is Ben Roethlisberger Feeling More Pliable? Steelers QB Says He Wants to Play 3-5 More Years

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Ben Roethlisberger takes an absolute beating for a quarterback. Big Ben is the huge, lumbering, aging, savy veteran thats always extending plays in the pocket and running around before taking some big shots like he’s Cap Rooney.

As a result of that style of play, the last couple of offseasons have unsurprisingly been filled with questions of whether or not Roethlisberger would retire. Well the Steelers just happen to draft a quarterback in the 3rd round and Big Ben conveniently drops this line the other day:

“The way our O-line is put together, as good as they are, they kept me healthy as can be the last couple of years. I really feel I can play this game another three to five years.”

This seems to have shades of Tom Brady and Jimmy Garoppolo, who the Patriots drafted when Brady was *also* 36 years old. When asked why draft a QB, Belichick replied with this famous line that spawned the TB12 institute as we know it today:

“We know what Tom’s age and contract situation is. I don’t think you want to have one quarterback on your team. I don’t think that’s responsible to the entire team or the organization.”

That pissed Tom Brady off more than we’ll ever know and made him recommit to the game. Numbers don’t lie and Brady, albeit slightly, had started to slip a bit at that point in his career. The Pats drafting his heir apparent was likely the thing Brady need to drive him even harder. Starting in 2014, Jimmy G’s first year on the roster, Brady’s numbers improved across the board and of course our favorite vocabulary word was forever etched into the New England lexicon; Pliability.

So is Ben Roethlisberger feeling a little bit salty that his team is planning his funeral and sizing him for a casket while he’s still battling for Super Bowls? You’re goddamn right. Maybe he’s feeling a little more pliable than he was this time last week. Sorry Mason Rudolph, unless Cap Rooney gets his head taken off by a linebacker, you’re ass is riding the pine. God forbid Big Ben finds his way to a TB12 facility, the kid won’t touch the field until his second contract. And I can’t blame Ben either. Imagine your boss telling you this kid is taking your job?

Not a chance in hell kid.