The Little Rock Chamber of Commerce Deserves a Clio Award

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ArkansasOnline – The city of Little Rock won’t submit a bid to become the home of Amazon’s second headquarters after all.

In a full page ad that appeared in The Washington Post on Thursday under the heading “Hey Amazon, we need to talk,” the city said it has realized it would “probably never work out between us…”

Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, is also the owner of The Washington Post.

Genius move by the Little Rock Regional Chamber of Commerce. I’d have bet my house that Amazon wasn’t headed to the Natural State. But instead of wisecracks about why the hell Amazon would ever even consider moving to the state with the third-lowest median income in the nation, the Chamber of Commerce has taken control of the situation with two classic George Costanza moves.

The first is the “It’s Not You, It’s Me” routine. That’s pretty obvious. But what is really going on in the ad and in the video is the preemptive breakup.

GEORGE: I have no power Do you understand? I need hand. I have no hand.

KRAMER: Break up with her

GEORGE: What?

KRAMER: You break up with her. You reverse everything that way.

JERRY: A preemptive breakup.

GEORGE: A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up which she would do anyway but at least I go out with some dignity. Completely turn the tables. It’s absolutely brilliant.

I actually wish more states would tell Amazon to go pound sand. Instead of bidding against each other and undercutting each other, why not just let the chips fall where they may? What’s the benefit of having Amazon in your state if you have to give away the store to get them there? It’s like these cities are bidding on the Olympics. The only difference is that the increased traffic, congestion and inflation won’t go away after a two-week party.

Is Jimmy Garoppolo Insane for Asking for this at Dunkin Donuts?

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So Patriots All Access teased an upcoming segment about Jimmy Garoppolo’s first trip to Dunkin Donuts, which can border on a religious experience for a lot of people in Boston. Welp, swing and a miss for ya boy.


A vanilla long-john? A what? Is that code for drugs? Are you trying to score some smack at Dunkies, Jimmy?

I remember going to school down in CT where it was a mashup of New England, New York, and New Jersey kids so there was plenty of occurrences like this. People would look at me like I was having a stroke when I said “lets go to the packy.” So I get it, but Jimmy my man, this is nonsensical stuff. We’re gonna have to get the heads of Chicago together and talk about this. Grab Kanye, Chance, and Carl Winslow so they can put a stop to this before it goes too far.

Mr. Kraft Does It Again! Makes Fire Flames Sneakers Out of Super Bowl LI Footballs

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My goodness. Just when I think Robert Kraft has outdone himself with his footwear, he does it again. He’s created maybe the greatest sneaker of all time. Forget Yeezys, Bobby Kraft is the hottest footwear designer on the streets. JUST LOOK AT THESE.

The man has taken actual footballs from the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history and turned them into fire flames footwear. Incredible. I still need to get me a pair of RKK Air Forces, but at least those are available for purchase. These things are like a rare Pokemon; I know I’ll never get a pair yet I need them. It’s like acid in my mouth. Hook a blogger up, Mr. Kraft.

Friday Morning Randomness

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The Red Sox completed the greatest comeback in history and vanquished the Yankees in the Bronx 13 years ago today. As Dan Shaughnessy wrote at the time:

FOREVERMORE, the date goes into the New England calendar as an official no-school/no-work/no-mail-delivery holiday in Red Sox Nation.

Mark it down. Oct. 20. It will always be the day Sox citizens were liberated from eight decades of torment and torture at the hands of the Yankees and their fans.

Boston Baseball’s Bastille Day.

Nothing will ever top this moment for me as a sports fan. Not the Patriots comeback last February, not Boston University’s unbelievable comeback in the 2009 National Championship game. Nothing.

That’s why I can’t get too upset over this tweet.

Well, just a little upset. The holiday is today, @RedSox.

Prettyyyy Sure You Can’t Do That, Marshawn Lynch

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Little bit of extra curricular activity from the Chiefs defensive line on Thursday Night Football and Marshawn Lynch was NOT having it.

Pretty sure leaving the sideline to rough house with the refs is frowned upon, but we’ll see how the Ginger Hammer feels about it.

Thursday Night Pick Em: Chiefs vs Raiders (Bonus: Color Rush Breakdown)

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As always, all our lines come from the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Tonight we’ve got the Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 47) at Oakland Raiders.

Derek Carr still doesn’t look right, not surprisingly, just a couple of weeks after breaking his fucking back. So the Raiders are hard to trust here. Especially with the hottest team in the NFL coming to town in the Kansas City Chiefs. Travis Kelce is back, allegedly, to 100% after a concussion, Kareem Hunt is still the most electric RB in the league, and Tyreek Hill is still on this team. Not to mention Alex Smith is FEELING himself for the first time in a long time. No more checkdown Alex safe throw Smith. Dude is letting it fly. Sure being in a contract year with a QB drafted in the 1st Round behind you probably doesn’t hurt, but the guy has some legit weapons around him in KC for the first time. KC is a (-3) point favorite and that is easy money. That is nothing. Slap your money down on the table confidently and sit back and watch the Chiefs make us all rich.

Now, onto the unis.

I’ve heard a lot of Raiders fans complaining about the Color Rush jerseys, with Oakland going white on white tonight. It does seem like a missed opportunity to have a total blackout. Just go old school villain, make everything black, but nay. The Chefs are going red on red, which is a good look, but they’re both wearing the same uni combos when they played each other last year. Should’ve been Raiders decked out in black with the Chiefs rocking all yellow with red highlights. Now thats a Color Rush I can get excited about. And if you complain about that because you’re colorblind well then tough shit; Thursday Night Football just isn’t for you then.

If Salt Bae Can Make It Into a Ciroc Commercial Then Theres Hope for Us All

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I feel like the internet drove right past this the other night and I need to make sure it gets the proper attention. The meme of the year, Salt Bae himself, was in a goddamn Ciroc commercial that aired during the Celtics Cavs game the other night. Ya know, the Turkish chef who became pseudo-famous for how he sprinkled salt on his goddamn meat? Yea that guy was living it up next to P. Diddy and all the other beautiful celebrities in a banging vodka commercial.

So if you’re stuck in a cube job like me, let this be a lesson to you. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do. If Salt Bae can bootstrap himself from a no name chef to kicking it with P. Diddy then theres hope for us all.

#RushHourRap – MF Doom – Accordion

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As the resident white boy from the suburbs who grew up listening to entirely too much rap, part of my role here is to introduce you to different things. Expand your horizons if you will. Aside from the ringtone rap that is all over the radio, lets try something new. Today’s #RushHourRap is one of the most lyrically technical rappers; MF Doom. And while this guy has been around since the late 80s with his first album dropping in 1999, I feel like a lot of you have yet to really dive into his music. Plus how many artists out there today could rap over an accordion?

Tuukka Rask Injured in Bruins Practice

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Hey Bruins, I don’t have time for this shit right now. I’m still mourning Gordon Hayward’s broken ankle from last night. I don’t need this.

According to Joe Haggerty Anders Bjork “crashed” into Rask during a drill and Tuukka had to be helped off the ice after looking “woozy.” Well thats just great. I got Hayward traumatizing me last night with his leg, now we got Rask getting dropkicked by his own teammate, all while former Bruins goalie prospect Malcolm Subban is 2-0 and leading the division for Las Vegas. Hey Anders, little advice for ya bud:

Who Will be the Next Manager of the Boston Red Sox?

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The search continues for the next manager of the Boston Red Sox, one of the most coveted, high profile, and stressful positions in baseball. The Sox would be wise to take their time and do their due diligence before making an emotional hire a la the disaster that was Bobby Valentine. They need a guy who can communicate effectively with players whether they’re rookies, verterans, white guys or hispanic. This team needs a guy players can talk to, someone who is respected in the game, a solid in-game tactician, and is a name that will resonate with fans. With all that being said, lets get to the top candidates we’ve heard about thus far.

Alex Cora – The current bench coach for the Houston Astros is a former Red Sox player and seems to be the early favorite as he was the first guy the Sox interviewed. He’s got former teammates coming out of the woodwork to give glowing reviews, can communicate well with players, and a Puerto Rico outlet is reporting that Cora has a “99.9% chance” of landing the job. Apparently there’s heavy competition for Cora as the Mets want him too, but who the fuck would want to manage the Mets right now?

Brad Ausmus -The recently canned Tigers manager, this was a popular name because Dave Dombrowski gave Ausmus his first job when he hired him back in Detroit. Ausmus is currently unemployed and we all know how much Dave loves his own guys. But, maybe he doesn’t want to double down on a guy who didn’t make it very far for his former employer. The Mets were also rumored to be in on Ausmus, but as I mentioned who would want that job? Not Ausmus, who reportedly removed his name from consideration.

Ron Gardenhire – Yawn. I’m not dying to see the guy who managed the Twins to middling records for years take the reigns of one of the most pressure packed job in sports. Okay, middling records is probably not totally fair. He did win 6 division titles with Minnesota, but they never went very deep and the last division title came in 2010 when Gardenhire was named AL Manager of the Year. But, he hasn’t managed since 2014 and seems like more of the same so I don’t think its a great fit.  Gardenhire is also, ironically, the bench coach for Torey Lovullo, the John Farrell successor in waiting the Red Sox had on their staff last year, then let walk in favor of Farrell, who they ended up firing anyways a year later. Solid planning over on Yawkey Way.

Other names that have been mentioned in the media:

Gabe Kapler – Sign me UP for Gabe the Babe. One of my favorite former players because he played his balls off every day. He’s currently the Director of Player Development for the Los Angeles Dodgers and has previously managed in the minor leagues for the Red Sox actually. I don’t think Tanyon Sturtze would appreciate Gabe becoming the next Red Sox manager though. Ya know, because he kicked his ass.

After all the bullshit we were fed about John Farrell being this tough guy John Wayne type, we could use an actual badass managing this team.

He was also in the running for the Dodgers manager position before Dave Roberts became a candidate and Kapler stepped down. So he’s clearly got a lot of behind the scenes experience and is a well rounded baseball guy with experience in both the dugout and the front office. Hell, he’s even got a health and fitness blog that I would highly recommend. WEEI’s John Tomase is all in as well and has some great insights on Kapler’s success in his current role with the Dodgers building up their farm system.

Jim Leyland – The longtime baseball manager who also has big Dombrowski ties, having worked as his manager in Florida as well as with the Tigers. But, Tony Massaroti mentioned on 98.5 the other day that he texted the 72 year old Leyland, who straight up told Mazz that he’s done managing. So we can cross this one off the list.

I think Cora is a solid option, a breath of fresh air that the Red Sox could use. He’s a guy that speaks both Spanish and English fluently, he’s young, and he’s been climbing the ranks working his way up to this opportunity. I think with an older baseball guy as his bench coach Cora is probably the best option. But I certainly would not be disappointed with my dude Gabe managing the Sox. Time for Dave Dombrowski to hitch his wagon to the next manager; we’re in this together now boys.