I am Officially Boycotting the CFL for Barring Johnny Manziel

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Bleacher Report – The CFL announced Wednesday that it has barred quarterback Johnny Manziel from signing a contract to play in the league during the 2017 season. While Johnny Football won’t be permitted to play north of the border in 2017, the CFL left the door open for him to join the league in 2018 provided he “meets certain conditions.” Manziel is on the Hamilton Tiger-Cats’ negotiation list, and the CFL announced earlier this month it had extended the team’s 10-day window to sign him so the league could independently evaluate him, per ESPN.com’s Kevin Seifert.By pushing the window back again to Nov. 30, Hamilton will have a chance to negotiate a contract with Manziel for 2018 following the conclusion of the 2017 campaign.

This is some straight up BULLSHIT. The CFL basically told Johnny sorry, try again next year, all while imposing a double secret probation.

No, seriously, they did that.

“Mr. Manziel will be eligible to sign a contract for the 2018 season and, if Mr. Manziel meets certain conditions that have been spelled out by the Commissioner, the CFL will register that contract. The specifics of those conditions are confidential and will not be disclosed.”

I bet even Josh Gordon read that and said, wow Johnny you’re really getting fucked here. So it is with much sadness that I must boycott the Canadian Football League until my boy Johnny Manziel is given the opportunity to tear up that goofy ass extra wide field with uprights in the endzone. #FreeJohnnyFootball

 

RIP Hugh Hefner: The GOAT of All GOATS 

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Michael Jordan. Tom Brady. Steve Jobs. Chuck Norris. These names represent the pinnacle of all that is man. And they don’t even TOUCH Hugh Hefner. The man truly was in a class of his own.

Just stop to think about his life for a minute and really break it down. The guy created a magazine and more importantly a brand where he made a fortune taking photos of beautiful women, threw elaborate parties, and just generally lived life on his own terms. He parlayed that into one of the most fantasy factory-esque establishments ever created in the Playboy Mansion. A place where naked women roamed and guests wore silk pajamas to gigantic parties all while Hef crushed everything in sight.

There is nobody in human history more synonymous with a place than Hef is with the Playboy Mansion. Not Derek Jeter and Yankee Stadium. Not Ted Danson and Cheers. Not even Robert Downey Jr and rehab. Hef WAS the the Playboy Mansion and thats why he was such a folk hero. The guy said fuck living a regular life and built his own dreamworld.

So pour one out for an absolute pioneer, a titan of industry, and a true American hero; Hugh Hefner. RIP Hef.

Rick Pitino Just Got Canned by Louisville and This Might be the End of the Road for Him

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Rick Pitino just got shitcanned by Louisville and it seems like this might be the end of the line for the controversial coach. Just one scandal after the next. There was the scandal with him banging the chick in the restaurant, the stripper parties that he threw an assistant coach under the bus for, and now this pay to play scandal. Guy is cooked. I think the term “lack of institutional oversight” gets thrown around a lot these days, but Pitino has that shit in spades.

 

And now Woj is tweeting out that Pitino had been putting out feelers on potential NBA jobs the past couple of years and there is “no interest.”

Ouch. College coaches always know when they’re in too deep and shits about to implode so thats when they start looking around. You think Pete Carroll just conveniently decided to take the Seattle Seahawks job right before the NCAA came down on USC for all the Reggie Bush sanctions? No way.

So now Pitino is out at Louisville after another massive scandal, there’s no interest from the NBA, and I’m sure he’ll have some kind of imposed multi-year suspension from coaching by the NCAA when this is all said and done. Theres no way another major school takes a shot on him potentially sinking their program too. Maybe we wind up seeing Pitino coaching Southern Connecticut or something down the line on the Isiah Thomas type comeback trail. I’d be remiss to not end this blog with the most Pitino-y Pitino moment of all time.

Is it a Psycho Move to Get a Custom License Plate?

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Vanity license plates have been all the rage ever since Cosmo Kramer became the AssMan, but, there has to be a line drawn somewhere right?

Not everyone’s nickname for themselves translate to license plate form. If I have to think about what your license plate means for more than 1 second then it fails the test. I don’t have time to study your license plate (except for the one this blog is about, but lets pretend here) while I’m bombing down 95. You have 1 second to make me laugh or nod in approval. And let me tell ya, PASTER, just ain’t doing it.

I texted my buddies asking what the FUCK does PASTER mean? And one of them immediately replies to me with one word; “Priest” like I’m an idiot. Not gonna lie, I was reading that in my head as Paste-er, like he’s the Taster or something. WHAT THE FUCK IS A PASTER? I don’t know, I’m still not convinced that guy was a priest. Lesson of the day? Vanity license plates are ephemeral. Make sure you got something good before dropping $200 on the right to be more easily identified by police.

Dwyane Wade Close to Signing with the Cavs, Which Can Only Mean One Thing

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ESPN – Twelve-time NBA All-Star guard Dwyane Wade is nearing a commitment to sign with the Cleveland Cavaliers and could finalize his decision as soon as Wednesday, league sources told ESPN.Wade, who agreed to a contract buyout with Chicago, will clear waivers on Wednesday and become an unrestricted free agent. Wade has been intrigued by the idea of rejoining LeBron James on the Cavaliers. Wade and James are longtime friends and won two championships and made four trips to the NBA Finals as teammates on with the Miami Heat.

THE BANANA BOAT IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER!

When LeBron was at the peak of his powers no one, save for Tim Duncan, could stop him. That Miami Heat team is one of the most dominant teams we’ve seen in a long time, which people are quick to forget because of how dominant the Warriors have become since LeBron left Miami. Its like every move villain ever. One falls and another pops up to take its place. So Bron Bron is calling in the reinforcements. He’s getting the Banana Boat back together. When times were simpler and LeBron was bullying teams en route to back to back championships. Back then Super Teams were fun because he was on the best one. Unfortunately Chris Paul is already in Houston, but maybe with 2/3 Banana Boat power levels LeBron and D-Wade can do some damage.

PS – How awesome must it be to be so fucking rich that you negotiate a buyout of your GUARANTEED $23 million salary to go play with your buddies for 10% of that and not even bat an eye. Goddamn.

“Wade, 35, is eligible to sign a one-year, $2.3 million veterans minimum contract with the Cavaliers…Wade gave back $8 million of his $23.8 million 2017-18 salary to reach a buyout agreement, league sources said.”

Las Vegas Golden Knights Inscribe Season Ticket Member Names Under the Ice

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NHL – It will be the first time the Golden Knights ever take the ice for a game at T-Mobile Arena…To represent a city that’s never had a major league franchise of its own to cheer for, to be a rallying point for people in this area who recognize this place as home more than a place to visit on vacation….Just inside the blue line on the end of the ice the Golden Knights defends twice will be inscribed the names of all the team’s season ticket members. So as much as visiting teams will have to defeat Vegas, the team, they’ll also have to defeat Vegas, the people… “That it was feasible, if we wanted to do something special on the ice, that we had the ability to put texture to something on the ice, before the laid the last round of it.”

This idea is so fire that it might actually melt the Golden Knight’s ice. Being a season ticket holder for any team usually means having the opportunity to fork over thousands of dollars and buy $10 dollar beers while maybe getting access to a couple extra events and press conferences.

But this? Getting your name permanently inscribed under the ice as one of the inaugural season ticket members? That is some badass legacy right there. Props to Vegas for having some new ideas of how to entice and engage fans rather than the same old bullshit everyone else does. Take a look at the process below and check out the video here.

Cowboys Receiver Cole Beasley Just Ethered Some Fantasy Football Nerd

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You come at the king, you best not miss. Cole Beasley just put this fantasy football owner in a goddamn body bag.

You just heard two sounds. One was Cole hitting Enter on his keyboard, the other was this kid hitting the ground. You have to love the utterly absurd phrase of “Don’t mother fuck me bro.” I’m gonna have to start working that into conversations from now on. If you’re gonna shit talk Cole Beasley about his fantasy football production then be prepared to face the repercussions.

Don’t worry Cole, I got you.

Patriots Charged Fans $5 for Cups of Tap Water After They Ran Out of Bottles

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ESPN – A New England Patriots spokesperson apologized Monday, a day after the team charged fans at least $4.50 for tap water at Gillette Stadium. With the temperature hitting an unseasonably high 86 degrees in Foxborough, Massachusetts, the team doubled its inventory of water bottles for Sunday’s game, the Boston Globe reported. That was almost four times the inventory for an average game. The problem was that each concession stand could hold only so many bottles. When the on-hand supply ran dry, fans started asking for cups of tap water — and, according to numerous tweets, were charged $4.50 or $5 per soda cup.

What a bunch of cocksuckers. If you run out of bottled water thats not my problem, go run to Tedeschi’s. That does not give you an excuse to charge people $5 for a cup of unfiltered toilet water. Unless that crisp Abraham Lincoln I just gave you comes with a free Budweiser, then I should not be held liable for flipping over the whole goddamn snack stand.

God forbid some elderly lady croaked in the 90 degree heat because she didn’t have $5 on her. I better be getting a souvenir cup and a coupon for a free fucking bottle of water if you’re trying to charge me for Foxborough sink agua.

Hoodie Melo Has Been Spotted at OKC Thunder Media Day

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Knicks fans everywhere just pounded their desks with their fists when they saw this photo because as we all know, Hoodie Melo is as close as Melo will ever get to Olympic Melo, who is one of the best players in the world. And I mean if James Jones can rock a hoodie under his jersey and dominate the NFL then who’s to say Carmelo Anthony can’t do the same thing in the NBA?

LeBron Gives Celtics Rivalry Some Juice with Latest Comments on Kyrie Irving

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I for one am ecstatic that the Celtics-LeBron rivalry is getting some much needed juice. I’ll always love going up against LeBron, but it really hasn’t been the same since the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals. Ya know when he ripped our guts out in Game 6 with an otherworldly performance? Yea that was the final stand of the Big 3 and the launching of the LeBron we know now.

Its been a long road back but the Celtics are finally competing with LeBron for a trip to the Finals once again. He’s just been the one coming out of the East for the last 7 years in a row… So its been a little one sided. And while playing LeBron is always contentious, I feel like we haven’t really had that venom since Pierce, KG, and Rondo left the team. Rondo was the last guy who visibly hated LeBron James. So these games just haven’t had that extra juice.

Until now.

Kyrie Irving seemed to have had enough of LeBron son-ing him and by LeBron’s comments at Media Day today I can see why.

“I tried to do whatever I could to help the kid out and be the best player he could be…Other than that, I wish the kid great health and the kid wanted to do what’s best for his career.” via UPROXX

THAT. That right there is the condescending shit I’m sure Irving was sick of. Now, yes, LeBron is the best player in the world and you’d be stupid not to take his advice, but there comes a time and a point where you gotta stop treating people like children, which LeBron seems to be missing here.

Bleacher Report even said as much, citing a Stephen A. Smith report on the situation:

“James showed a little disrespect Monday while referring to his former teammate as “the kid,” which was apparently an underlying problem in their relationship. Stephen A. Smith of The Undefeated noted there was a problem of the veteran treating Irving like a child.”

So Kyrie said enough of this shit and shot his way out of town. Followed up by cryptic silences and then his since viral appearance on First Take where he basically told LeBron to fuck himself.

Now we’ve got LeBron coming out with this sob story like a scorned lover saying “I tried to do whatever I could to help the kid out.”

Don’t give me that bullshit LeBron. Kyrie Irving carried the Cavs down the stretch in Game 7 of the 2016 Finals and hit the goddamn game winner and ya didn’t even mention his name once afterwards. So Kyrie was over it, time to move on. Now what would make it all the sweeter? Beating LeBron on the way of course.

But, I gotta give respect where its due though because thats what makes me a Big-J Journalist. As soft as LeBron comes off at times, this was an A+ response when asked what advice he’d give Kyrie now. Sounds like something Kobe would have said in his prime:

“If my son went to another team and asked for advice, I ain’t giving him s–t,” he told the media, per Ben Axelrod of WKYC.