What Does Sports Pope Have To Say About Craig Carton?

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Being from Boston, I don’t regularly listen to Francesa. But on a day when Craig Carton got hauled into the pokey? I figured the Sports Pope would be must-listen radio. The guy is done in three months, why hold back? If I had his platform, all I would do is kick my enemies when they were down.

But I was wrong. Just another reason to tip the cap to Kirk Minihane. When his buddy and coworker got bagged for a DUI, he did what we all would do in his position.

He busted his friend’s balls live on the air.

Something I Didn’t Expect to Write Back in 2013; It Must Suck to Be Doc Rivers Right Now

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This is not something I expected to write back in 2013. We all knew it was time for the Celtics to break up the band when they did, but I’ll never forget drinking a $3 PBR at White Horse as I somberly watched the ESPN news of the trade light up the flat screens around the bar. I knew it was time, but it still sucked to see the best Celtics team of my lifetime finally break up.

Back in 2013 the Celtics were at the end of an era and it was clear. The Big 3 of Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen had dominated from their first tipoff together, starting the 2007-08 season by going 27-2 on the way to an NBA Championship. They were always in the hunt for a title over the course of the next 5 seasons and were a ton of fun to watch as they morphed from the dominant top dog into the aging, wily veterans making one last stand.

Once that all came to an end though, Doc Rivers, who infamously said how he wanted to be a part of the Celtics rebuild, almost immediately changed his mind on being part of said rebuild. With 3 years and $21 million left on Doc’s contract he wanted out. So Danny Ainge made a deal with the Clippers to send Doc out west and got a first round pick in exchange.

Shitty move by Doc, but I don’t hold some massive grudge over it like a lot of fans still do. Doc wanted to leave for greener pastures (and more power) in LA so why pay a coach $7 million dollars a year on a lottery bound team? Doesn’t make sense.

Back then though the Clippers were the place to be with young studs like Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan and Chris Paul to bring it all together. They looked like a team poised to do big things while the Celtics looked to be on the brink of a long, slow, and painful rebuild. Except four years later the Celtics are the reigning No. 1 seed in the Eastern Conference with have the best young coach in the league in Brad Stevens, having recently added three All-Stars (Hayward, Horford, Irving), and picked up a couple of lottery picks to boot in Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum.

Meanwhile the Clippers are legitimately falling apart. Doc has been stripped of his role as President of Basketball Operations and is back to just writing “Coach” on his LinkedIn profile. Chris Paul is gone. DeAndre Jordan is suddenly 29 and Blake Griffin is now a 28 year old on bad knees who is aging in dog years.

Ask any executive in the NBA and I would bet the house that I don’t own that every single one of them would rather be the Celtics right now. Who the hell would have guessed that would be the case just 4 years ago? That would have been absurd to suggest, yet here we are.

The best part? The Celtics aren’t done. They still have a potential top 5 pick again next year with the Lakers pick and are only going to get better with Kyrie and Hayward on the team with the young guys continuing to develop.

I wonder if Doc looks back and says, welp I really fucked that one up. Not something I thought I would write just 4 years later from that Allston barstool.

Las Vegas Boldly Predicts the 2007 Patriots Would Beat the 2017 Patriots Head to Head

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ESPN – The 2017 New England Patriots are the overwhelming favorites across Las Vegas to repeat as Super Bowl champions, but are they better in bookmakers’ eyes than the 2007 team? ESPN spoke with seven Vegas bookmakers and asked them to make a line in a hypothetical matchup between the two teams. Six of the seven had the ’07 team favored, with lines ranging from “a small favorite” (William Hill US) to 11 points (Frank Kunovic at Caesars).

Well, no shit. The 2007 Patriots went 16-0…and then I don’t really remember the rest…but they legit didn’t lose a single game in the regular season, routinely BLOWING teams out, all while setting multiple offensive records along the way. That squad vs the 2017 team that hasn’t even played a single game together? I mean who would you take? Not to mention we have players dropping like flies and our front-7 is starting to resemble swiss cheese.

But this is exactly why video games exist. Just putting old school juggernauts against the latest and greatest. NBA2K is awesome for that exact reason. Putting Larry Bird and the Celtics against Steph Curry and the 2018 Warriors. Or playing the Shaq and Kobe Lakers against Bill Russell. I don’t know if this year’s Madden has Classic Teams like it used to, but if it does, this 2007 Pats vs 2017 Pats matchup *needs* to happen. Not only that, it needs to be played out in traditional, painstakingly full 15-minute quarters. If thats still an option then that will be my cross to bear.

Imagine Malcom Butler trying to shut down 2007 Randy Moss who had 23 touchdowns that year? Or 2017 Tom Brady trying to rifle in some slants through that forest of Tedy Bruschi, Junior Seau, Vince Wilfork et al? Now that would be a goddamn game and that is why Twitch is a billion dollar business.

WFAN Host Craig Carton Arrested by the FBI for Fake Ticket Broker Scheme

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NY Daily News – FBI agents arrested sports radio host Craig Carton early Wednesday at his Manhattan home, officials said. Carton, one half of WFAN’s “Boomer and Carton Show,” was arrested on investment fraud-related charges, the FBI confirmed. WPIX reported he’d been arrested for involvement in a $2 million fake tickets scam.

WOW. When I heard on the radio this morning that Craig Carton had gotten arrested, I figured it was for like a DUI or something. Nope, the fucking FBI came to Carton’s door in the middle of the night and arrested the WFAN talk show host for allegedly running a multi-million dollar fake ticket broker operation.

Carton, allegedly, was taking investors money for a company that promised to sell blocks of tickets to games and events…except there were no tickets. So I don’t really know what the long term play was here. Doesn’t seem like Craig really thought this one out. Reminds me of the Underpants Gnomes from South Park.

Step 1: Take money from investors.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit

For anyone that isn’t a sports radio junkie, Boomer and Carton are basically the Felger and Mazz of NYC. So obviously a very successful show, both probably making oodles of money. And this fucking dummy figures thats not enough so let me set up a ponzi scheme and swindle people out of millions of dollars. This isn’t like neglecting to tell the cashier that you actually got bacon on your sandwich to save a couple bucks, this is defrauding people out of yuuge sums of money.

So this guy is fucked. Good luck getting another job in New York, let alone getting on the radio again. But what this does do is open the gates wide for the next star of sports talk radio…Chris Christie. Make it happen WFAN, sack up. Your loudmouth fans need this. I need this. It would be like a modern day Ronald Reagan, except in reverse. A popular politician leaving it all to go to Hollywood (i.e. glamorous talk radio).

Red Sox Admit to Stealing Signs Against the Yankees Using an Apple Watch

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NY Times – For decades, spying on another team has been as much a part of the gamesmanship of baseball as brushback pitches and hard slides. The Red Sox have apparently added a modern — and illicit — twist: They used an Apple Watch to gain an advantage against the Yankees and other teams..The commissioner’s office then confronted the Red Sox, who admitted that their trainers had received signals from video replay personnel and then relayed that information to some players — an operation that had been in place for at least several weeks.

Oh for christ’s sake. Steve Jobs would be rolling over in his goddamn grave. Now for the record I do not think stealing signs in baseball is a big deal, I believe every team is doing it in some form or another. But leave it to the Red Sox to get caught up in another big embarrassing storyline to make the whole organization look bad.

As retarded as this whole scenario is, I do respect the Red Sox for just getting petty with it.

“The Red Sox responded in kind on Tuesday, filing a complaint against the Yankees, claiming that the team uses a camera from its television network, YES, exclusively to steal signs during games.”

Basically responding to the allegations by saying “well, yea..but fuck you” and filing a complaint of their own.

Also, I want to call bullshit on John Farrell not being aware of this whole thing, but the guy is a goddamn space case so I actually don’t doubt it. Not exactly a players manager either so I doubt Pedroia, the guy who threw his whole team under the bus with the Manny Machado incident, is casually chatting with Manager John over stuff like this.

I did hear Curt Schilling on WEEI this morning though and when asked about the situation he said you’re a moron if you think this isn’t going on everywhere. Basically said it happened in every game of his career, on both sides, all the way from A-ball to the major leagues.

“I never looked at it as cheating. I looked at it as I throw harder than you and if I catch you I’ll hurt you way worse than you can hurt me.”

According to Schilling the Yankees are far from innocent of doing this shit too.

“Alex [Rodriguez] used to do it in New York at second base. And he wasn’t good at it.”

Fucking A-Rod man. Guy can’t even steal signs without getting made fun of by his peers. In full transparency though, Schilling said his teams did the same thing.

“Game 6 of the 2001 World Series (Yankees lost 16-2) we knew every single pitch Andy Pettitte threw.”

It’s just part of the game. But, this is just what we need in Boston, another cheating scandal. Sure, every rational person will say eh its just stealing signs, legitimately every other team does it in some form or another. But fans aren’t rational. Most fans, especially dickhead New Yorkers, will tie it all neatly together with Spygate and just make me want to put a bullet in my brain as I’ll now have to debate this incident for the rest of my life too.

This team is fucked anyways, steal as many signs as you want. Won’t help Rick Porcello not serve up batting practice to last place teams.

Jets Are Now 1,000-1 Odds to Win the Super Bowl; the Worst Odds Ever

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1,000-1. Those are the Jets odds of winning the Super Bowl. The same odds as the Warriors NOT making the playoffs. Insane. Just for comparisons sake, the Patriots odds to win the Super Bowl are currently 11/4. Just slightly better.

I guess if you’re a Jets fan, the one saving grace is that this year they are intentionally bad. Sure if they had really tried they still wouldn’t have been great, but by getting rid of Brandon Marshall, Eric Decker, Sheldon Richardson and other players they have basically punted on the season. And as painful as this season will be for those dummies in green, its a smart play long term. Especially with a pretty solid looking crop of top QB prospects this year. UCLA’s Josh Rosen looked like a goddamn stud this weekend.

But it is the Jets, so odds are they luck into like 3-4 wins and lose out on a franchise QB. It really is amazing to have witnessed three peaks and valleys in the Jets franchise all while the Patriots have remained consistently dominant the entire time. Think about it. We’ve witnessed the rise (and fall) of Eric Mangini, the Rex Ryan era featuring the roughly 3 year reign of Bart Scott and the mouthy assholes, and most recently the moderately successful 1-year reign of Todd Bowles and Ryan Fitzpatrick before falling back to earth and saying screw it lets be REALLY bad.

All sandwiched between a mere 5 Patriots Super Bowl victories. What a goddamn shadow over the New York Jets of New Jersey.

Time to Make the Donuts

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After a long weekend of sun, grilling, and boozing, godspeed to anyone else struggling right now at their desk in the cubes. Nothing more sobering than a post-Labor Day haze when you realize that summer is officially over. The only thing that helps me not want to kill myself is commiserating with others so I give you the best of Office Space to get you through this trying time.

Today is the 10 Year Anniversary of the Clay Buchholz No Hitter

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Oh what could have been.

If you’re anything like me you’ll remember how AMPED you were that the Red Sox had this starting rotation signed and sealed for years:

  • Josh Beckett
  • Jon Lester
  • John Lackey
  • Clay Buchholz

Now obviously, like Clay’s career, things did not go as expected. Buchholz was going to be the next ace of the staff, throwing a no-hitter in his second career start, but his career was defined by maddening inconsistency and of course injuries. Clay currently has a 4.01 career ERA and is currently on the DL for the Phillies, which is a microcosm for him as a whole. The guy would routinely go on a 6-week run of dominance sporting a 2 ERA before going into the tank for the rest of the season. Like clockwork.

We’ll always have that no-hitter though, Clay.

Your Daily Dose of 90s Nostalgia

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Beloit College Mindset List – This year’s entering college class of 2021 can’t remember when a “phone” wasn’t a video game and research library. Mostly born in 1999, they’ve always been searching for Pokemon. They’ve never read a Peanuts strip that wasn’t a repeat and they never had the privilege of a Montgomery Ward catalogue as a booster seat. They have persevered in a world without Joe Dimaggio and brightened by emojis. If you ask them about the whine of a dial-up modem, expect a blank stare. 

These are among the items in this year’s Beloit College Mindset List, the 20th such release since the list was first compiled in 1998. The List’s current subjects are the last class to be born in the 1900s – the last of the Millennials.

I usually don’t pay too much attention to lists like this one. When I see them covered on evening newscasts for 45 seconds it seems like cheap, lazy, hackneyed journalism. The Mindset List seems like a BuzzFeed list that is more important only because it was written by college professors.

I’ll make an exception for this year’s Mindset List for two reasons. First, it’s hard to believe there are college students that remember the stuff that happened in 1999 the way I remember the Iran-Contra affair. Second, because 1999 really was a fire year: American Pie, Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, American Beauty, All the Small Things, Blockbuster Video, Y2K, N64, Clinton Acquitted, Britney and Christina.

Maybe I also remember 1999 as a fire year because I can vividly remember the best Red Sox season of my lifetime up until that point. Nomar’s three home runs, two grand slams and 10 RBI on May 10. The All-Star Game in Boston where Pedro stuck out five NL All-Stars. His one-hitter in New York in September. Troy O’Leary’s two home runs against Cleveland in Game 5 of the ALDS. Pedro’s heroics on the mound in Game 5. His 12 strikeouts against the Yankees in the ALCS as the Red Sox roughed up Clemens and won their only game of that series. Pedro winning the Cy Young.

Okay, maybe a lot of my good memories of 1999 have to do with Pedro’s dominance. I guess Terence Mann was right when he said that “baseball has marked the time.” I’m an optimist, so I’ll also agree that it “reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again.”

Friday Morning Randomness – Allston Christmas

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Merry Allston Christmas! If you’re partaking, may the previous tenants of your new residence be long gone and may the meter maids mind their own business.

This video is evidence of a high-tech engineering success story. I strongly disagree with the guy who posted it calling it “red neck couch moving.” If MIT were in Allston, I know that Allston Christmas would be a little bit more orderly with all the engineering kids moving furniture more efficiently than Ross and Rachel.

I myself am not an engineer. That is why I a cracked a box spring in half one Allston Christmas, to prevent holding up the entire building. I am also not a great planner. That is why I once switched units on Allston Christmas between 10 PM on August 31 and 4:30 AM on September 1. Moving in the middle of the night like the Baltimore Colts baby.

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