“Who the fuck made this cheeseburger” pic.twitter.com/YB9JeJQ6QS
— 17-5 (@wiillyyyg) February 26, 2017
I definitely see some McDoubles in my plans for tonight. Hope the same guy makes mine.
McDonald’s Madness
Friday Morning Randomness
https://dailymotion.com/video/x4v7axz
Green M & M’s – nature’s Viagra.
Adrian Gonzalez Flips Out on the WBC and I Cannot Blame Him
Yahoo – “A few days later, Adrian Gonzalez obviously has not gotten over his anger at the way Mexico was eliminated from the World Baseball Classic — via a tiebreaker scenario based on runs allowed per defensive inning.”
Adrian Gonzalez on the WBC: “They’re trying to be the World Cup. But they’re not even the Little League World Series.”
— Andy McCullough (@McCulloughTimes) March 15, 2017
Adrian Gonzalez is historically a top notch whiner, but I cannot get on him for this. The World Baseball Classic is a fake ass tournament contrived to try and replicate the World Cup. Hell even basketball’s FIBA cup is more exciting than this. And to get knocked out on a fucking COIN FLIP? What is this the Friday Night Lights playoff tie breaker between Midland High, Lee and Permian? Holy shit what a screw job. Vent away Adrian, vent away. Still doesn’t really matter though because its the WBC.
But getting screwed, regardless of how minor, is what develops life long grudges. You ever get hosed on a call from the refs in Madden? My God, I still have memories of those incidents in college. The amount of $50 clickers we went through as broke college kids is truly amazing. Saved just enough money to buy a 30 of Busch Light and replace the clicker my roommate Gronk spiked into a million pieces after I took a pick 6 back to the house to beat him in OT. So get your grudge on Adrian, rip that shit tournament to shreds.
Happy (Sports) New Year
The Sports New Year starts today. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. I know the Patriots won the Super Bowl last month, but I believe they were crowned 2016 World Champions after the win. Case closed.
March Madness is the return of good weather and day drinking. It combines two things Americans always need – endless gambling and a cure for our minuscule attention spans. Everyone and their mom does a bracket, and games on four different channels for 12 hours a day for four straight days makes this the ultimate TV tournament.
When this tournament ends, we’ll arrive at baseball opening day. That leads to NBA/NHL playoffs, the dog days of summer, pennant races, the return of football, the World Series and then playoff football to get us through the dead of winter once again.
Last year kicked off with Villanova’s thrilling win in the National Championship game, saw Cleveland win something for the first time in forever, saw the Cubs win a World Series for the first time since World War I and saw the Patriots pull off the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. It was a hell of a story.
I can wait for next year, and next year tips off today. Enjoy it.
Adrian Peterson, a 32 Year Old RB Coming Off Knee Surgery, is Shockingly Still a Free Agent
Yahoo Sports – Adrian Peterson is still waiting. As incomprehensible as it seemed only a few weeks ago, one of the greatest running backs in NFL history is still waiting for significant pursuit one full week into free agency. Largely thanks to a depressed running backs market and Peterson’s age (he turns 32 on Tuesday), the final destination of the seven-time Pro Bowler remains unknown, even as running backs like Eddie Lacy, Latavius Murray, Danny Woodhead and Rex Burkhead each found landing spots before Peterson.
Why does this surprise anyone? Guy is a 32 year old running back coming off KNEE surgery and in the middle of a trial for beating the shit out of his toddler son? Doesn’t exactly seem like a product that would be flying off the shelves like a Malibu Stacy doll.
Look is the guy totally done? I don’t know, but he’s certainly not someone I’m giving much more than the veteran’s minimum to and I’m sure as shit not relying on him to be my go-to RB. So he’s gonna be a guy who will hang around looking for one, last big deal that he’s not going to get. So he’ll end up signing as a backup somewhere else.
This isn’t a “frosty” situation, this is an entirely predictable situation if you just take AP’s name out of the equation. In 2016 Player X rushed for 72 yards in 3 games with an Avg Yards per Attempt of 1.9 and 0 Touchdowns. Then got knee surgery. WHY would that player have a booming free agency market? Yes, I know he rushed for almost 1,500 yards and 11 TD’s the year before, but that will have been 2+ years ago by the time next season starts. When he was 30. Where do RB’s fall off? Yup, after 30. Especially power backs with knee surgeries. So please national media don’t pretend to be surprised with stuff like this, you’re better than that.
Red Sox Finally Announce Porcello As Opening Day Starter
ESPN – “For starters, the Boston Red Sox will go with Rick Porcello. Porcello is the choice to be the Red Sox’s Opening Day starting pitcher April 3 against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Fenway Park, manager John Farrell said Wednesday. The decision was made at the beginning of spring training, according to Farrell”
And thats a good thing. I say finally because the guy became your de facto ace last year when Price was imploding and was the AL Cy Young winner. Add in the fact they both melted in the playoffs and that measuring stick is a wash. Plus as much as I think Chris Sale is going to be an excellent addition to both the rotation and the clubhouse, he’s the new guy in town. You just cannot insert him as your Opening Day starter. John Farrell is lying through his teeth saying this decision was made weeks ago, not simply because the decision was made for him with Price’s elbow injury. As much as we all want him to be that alpha snarling ace, that just ain’t Price. Porcello might be that guy though.
And while you obviously don’t want to pay your No. 2 (or No. 3) guy in Price $30+ million a year, thats what you get for letting your ace Jon Lester walk out the door because you lowballed the shit out of him. You pay through the nose trying to replace him. But thats fine, we don’t need Price to be Josh Beckett or John Lackeys threatening to kill people’s families. We just need him to be an elite pitcher, which I think he’s probably more apt to be as a behind the scenes guy with less pressure. Don’t force it. Let the guy be a supporting character and maybe then he actually pitches well in the playoffs. They’re pro athletes John, manage them.
How Many of the 7 Deadly Sins Can the Mets Commit Against Tim Tebow?
How many of the Seven Deadly Sins can the Mets commit against St. Tebow? Seems like a lot. Greed is right up there, selling Tebow Mets jerseys when he’s not even on the roster. Sloth maybe for running the guy out there, not caring he probably won’t make the team. Hell this NJ.com article has 5 non-roster invitees more likely to make the squad. Maybe Envy of other teams with successful project players? I can say for sure there is a shit load of Wrath from the fans for the Wilpons.
At this point I almost feel bad for Tebow. I mean if the guy wasn’t chiseled out of marble, world famous, Heisman winner and working a cushy gig on ESPN as a college football analyst, I would feel bad for him. Almost. This is starting to, everyone feign surprise, feel a lot like a publicity grab by the Mets.
After an 0-8 start in the Grapefruit League, Tim Tebow gets his first hit vs the Marlins today: pic.twitter.com/tGXKPSWnGj
— Paxton Boyd (@paxton) March 13, 2017
Now I think it would be 1.) hilarious for Tebow to somehow actually crack the major league roster and become a contributing MLB player, but 2.) legendary as the only guy since Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson to play in both leagues. But from everything you hear out of the scouts, it seems like he’s a guy without a position who can’t hit a curve. Not a good combo in the MLB.
It’s a goddamn shame because the guy would have made a great H-back or Fullback in the NFL when QB didn’t pan out. But I can’t fault the guy for not wanting to develop CTE before he turns 30. At least we’ll always have the 2013 preseason when you were lighting it up for the Patriots, Tim. Never forget.
Twins to Offer “Ballpark Access” Pass for Just $99
Star Tribune – The Twins on Wednesday announced a new Ballpark Pass deal for the months of April and May: $99 for access to 30 home games — all of them except the home opener — in those two months.
No, that is not a misprint.
Thirty games for a hundred bucks? That is a deal. That is a Florida Marlins Pro Player Stadium mid-2000s type deal. Even if the Twins get out to another 15-35 start some good teams, including the Red Sox, come to town in the April and May. Minnesota’s had a mild end to winter and there are bound to be some good giveaways in there. What’s the catch?
There is some fine print, such as you don’t get a seat for the games. Basically, “Ballpark Access” is what used to be known as a standing-room only ticket. You choose every game you want to go to, and the ticket is delivered to your mobile device.
I’m not above sitting in the cheap seats. If this deal stuck me in the last row of the upper deck in the outfield for every game, I’d buy in. But unless it is Game 7 of the World Series, I’m over the standing room experience.
Ushers at the ballpark are already obsequious employees on power trips. [At least flight attendants are 30,000 feet in the air.] You think they’re annoying when you’re trying to get to your seat during an at-bat? Wait until they are charged with defending the sanctity of empty seats in entirely empty sections. They’ll turn into Newman trying to convict Jerry of mail fraud every inning of every game.
No thanks.
Friday Morning Randomness
We’re big fans of George Carlin here at The 300s. Here are his ideas for some new sports we should have. There’s no video, but it’s till probably some of the funniest Carlin stuff you haven’t heard yet.
Celtics Turn Golden State Green
.@celtics get the W! BOS defeats the @warriors on the road, 99-86.
IT finishes w/ 25 PTS to secure the W for BOS. pic.twitter.com/0P8csmGObJ
— NBA (@NBA) March 9, 2017
Obviously a huge win for the Celtics last night. Even if the Warriors are banged up, it’s not easy to win in Oakland. The win is the Celtics’ second-straight in Oakland, after snapping the Warriors’ 54-game home win streak almost a year ago. The last team to win back-to-back games at Oracle Arena was the San Antonio Spurs in 2014.
The win also evens the Celtics record on this road trip at 2-2. After tough losses in Phoenix and against the Clippers, a disappointment at Golden State felt almost imminent. Now, the Celtics have a chance to win in Denver tomorrow night and finish the west coast trip at 3-2. Wouldn’t be a bad showing for five games in eight days in the Pacific Time Zone.
Last night’s win also keeps the Celtics a game ahead of Washington for the second spot in the East. There’s a lot of basketball left to be played, but after tomorrow night’s game in Denver 11 0f the Celtics’ final 16 games will be at home. If the Celtics can wrap up the number two seed heading into the playoffs, maybe Brad Stevens can finally get off the playoff schneid.
The 300s 