Star Tribune – The Twins on Wednesday announced a new Ballpark Pass deal for the months of April and May: $99 for access to 30 home games — all of them except the home opener — in those two months.
No, that is not a misprint.
Thirty games for a hundred bucks? That is a deal. That is a Florida Marlins Pro Player Stadium mid-2000s type deal. Even if the Twins get out to another 15-35 start some good teams, including the Red Sox, come to town in the April and May. Minnesota’s had a mild end to winter and there are bound to be some good giveaways in there. What’s the catch?
There is some fine print, such as you don’t get a seat for the games. Basically, “Ballpark Access” is what used to be known as a standing-room only ticket. You choose every game you want to go to, and the ticket is delivered to your mobile device.
I’m not above sitting in the cheap seats. If this deal stuck me in the last row of the upper deck in the outfield for every game, I’d buy in. But unless it is Game 7 of the World Series, I’m over the standing room experience.
Ushers at the ballpark are already obsequious employees on power trips. [At least flight attendants are 30,000 feet in the air.] You think they’re annoying when you’re trying to get to your seat during an at-bat? Wait until they are charged with defending the sanctity of empty seats in entirely empty sections. They’ll turn into Newman trying to convict Jerry of mail fraud every inning of every game.