Tag: Christmas

Hoop Tales: Christmas is a (Jrue) Holiday Worth Celebrating Edition

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Wednesday: 2-0

Season: 2-2 (-0.32 units)

Recap: Domantas Sabonis reminded us that PFs are going to continue to give the Knicks trouble this year and Rudy Gobert showed the world why he deserved that contract extension. It’s a nice feeling when both player props cash well before the 4th quarter.

First Christmas Pick: Jrue Holiday O16.5 points vs GSW (-120)

Fact #1: Holiday’s Bucks’ debut went well: 25 points on 10-of-16 shooting against a defensive-minded Celtics team.

Fact #2: The Warriors are not a defensive-minded team with this supporting cast around Steph, especially with Draymond being ruled out again today.

Fact #3: Warriors surrendered 26 points to Kyrie Irving in just over 25 minutes of play. Holiday’s only worry in this game is how much he plays in the second half because of the potential rout that could happen early.

Second Christmas Pick: Nets -1 1st quarter vs BOS (-110)

Fact #1: “The preseason doesn’t matter” but the Nets treated it like a real game and blitzed the Celtics out the gate prior to their season opener against Golden State.

Fact #2: The Nets were +15 in the first quarter of their season opener against the Warriors — a quarter in which Steph Curry played all 12 minutes.

Fact #3: In Boston’s season opener against Milwaukee — a solid offense in their own right, but not at Brooklyn’s level — they trailed by three after the first quarter. Boston also ranked 21st in 1st quarter scoring a season ago (26.9)

Fact #4: Kyrie is hopefully going to sage the building (again!) and the Nets are going to back him in a game that we all know he really wants to win.


The 300s Best Christmas Movies to Binge During Quarantine

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With nothing to do, nowhere to go, the sun setting at what feels like noon, and temperatures dropping into the 20s, it’s time to pick your favorite pair of sweat pants athleisure and settle in for some Christmas movie binge watching.

Red

Looking back on this list after I wrote it I realize there is a trend that probably suggests Christmas fatigue if not outright disdain. I promise I actually do like Christmas, but if you can’t see the humor in all the undue pressure people put on themselves this time of year then you need to have a couple crafties and rewatch these movies.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Hands down my favorite Christmas movie because Chevy Chase transitions seamlessly back and forth from both the coolest guy in the room to completely unhinged as he loses his shit. Something I think we can all relate to when dealing with all the normal stresses of holidays with the family. Add in the fact that this is actually the third movie in the Vacation series and it’s all the more impressive since it’s the best of the franchise.

Four Christmases

Another movie that I feel like I can relate to all too much with all the traveling I usually do for the holidays driving to parents, in-laws, step parents, grandparents and experiencing a unique version of family chaos at each stop. Obviously the movie has a heart of gold, but if you can’t relate to concocting an elaborate alibi and learning how to say “Merry Christmas” in Burmese just to avoid your family during the holidays, well then I don’t want to know you.

Bad Santa

Have you ever wondered what Christmas would be like if you just indulged every one of your worst impulses? Well look no further than the womanizing, alcoholic, toxic mall Santa that Billy Bob knocks out of the park. A laugh out loud classic that oddly still gets me into the holiday spirit. Plus it’s a great comedy vehicle for the late great Bernie Mac and John Ritter.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Because there is never not a good time for Snoopy and Charlie Brown, especially in a year as depressing as 2020.

Jimmy Lips

My favorite Christmas movies are all nonsensical and completely unrealistic, and that’s a large part of the enjoyment for me.

Jingle All the Way

The cast is phenomenal: Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Jim Belushi and The Big Show. It almost reminds me of how frantic hot-ticket Christmas items were back in the day such as furbies, Nintendo 64 and beanie babies. A Also, “It’s Turbo Time!” is a phenomenal line.

Unrealistic reason: The final 20 minutes of the movie.

Krampus

Horror + Christmas = what a perfect combination for me. A movie based on an Eastern urban legend that is celebrated with an annual parade. How f’n cool is that! All I will tell you about the movie is it has rebel gingerbread men, which are worth the movie on their own.

Unrealistic reason: The entire movie is bonkers and yet utterly delightful and entertaining.

Home Alone 2

Kevin McCallister’s parents should have been sent to jail twice. How do you leave your youngest child at home not once, but twice and not realize it until you get to baggage claim? The hotel room scene reenacting Angels with Filthy Souls is a classic.

Unrealistic reason: Kevin could’ve called the cops on the sticky bandits at any point in time and every interaction with them begs the question of why didn’t he.

Big Z

Home Alone

I saw Home Alone in theaters when I was a kid, but it was probably about 20 years before I watched it start to finish again. Don’t make the same mistake I did. While Home Alone is nominally a kids movie, there’s plenty in there for grown ups too.

It’s written by John Hughes and is endlessly quotable.

It features an all-time Christmas soundtrack with superb original music from the legendary John Williams. And it’s got Gus Polinski, one the most underrated good guys in movie history.

It’s been on cable a lot this season but do yourself a favor and get it on Blu-ray or Disney+, order a large cheese pizza just for yourself, and enjoy.

Joey B

I decided to go a bit against the grain for my selections as I assumed my compatriots would do a better job with the mainstream Christmas movie canon than I would. Both “Happiest Season” and “The Night Before” are holiday movies that involve self-seflection and a huge fear of taking the next necessary big step in life.

Happiest Season

With “Happiest Season” I expect a kind of goofy Dan Levy vehicle and instead ran headlong into what can only be described as a guide on how to maybe not be homophobic. It’s actually a pretty depressing watch but possibly a recommend if you need something to help get over an emotional blow.

The Night Before

In “The Night Before” three friends (JGL, Seth Rogen, Anthony Mackie) in very different places in their life get together for their annual Christmas Eve tradition of finding an elusive party. Things go awry, etc. Etc. and lessons are learned. But it’s just a good bit of Christmas season, drug-addled fun.

Whats your go to Christmas movie? Let us know @the300sboston

Mel Gibson Plays Santa Claus Being Hunted By An Assassin In His New Movie “Fatman”

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It’s too early to be in the Christmas spirt…or so I thought. Enter Mel Gibson, who has gifted us with his new movie “Fatman” in which the Oscar winner plays a grizzled, bitter, gun wielding Santa Claus who is being hunted by an assassin (Walton Goggins) hired by a kid that’s upset for receiving coal for Christmas.

I shit you not.

I am 1000% buying this straight to digital Christmas Miracle when it comes out on November 17th. It honestly looks like a fake trailer from the days of College Humor so I’m still waiting for Mel Gibson admit unfortunately this isn’t real. But it’s produced by Saban Films and it’s got a legit IMDB page so I’m pretty sure this isn’t some elaborate prank.

It does however remind me of another awesomely tongue in cheek B-movie: FDR American Badass.

If you haven’t seen that movie do yourself a favor, take the 90 minutes, and thank me later. Hell it’s even on YouTube.

Although if we’re being honest it will be hard for Mel Gibson to top his greatest role playing a beloved cultural icon.

Start Your Holiday Weekend Off Right With This Infuriating Article from CNBC

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Trevor Klee, he admits, is a “terrible employee.” But he’s great at working for himself — and at taking tests.

So the 25-year-old entrepreneur started a thriving business of his own. As a test prep instructor in Cambridge, Massachusetts, he brings in $100,000 a year tutoring people for the GMAT, GRE and LSAT. It’s one of those weird skills that turned out to be really monetizable,” he tells CNBC Make It.

Klee is the first to acknowledge he’s benefited from both luck and privilege: “Growing up in a family that talked a lot about money was a definite advantage,” he says. “In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m good with money, but I’m playing life on ‘Easy’ mode: I’m a single guy with no dependents and I make a pretty solid income.”

For all those people out there struggling to afford the holiday shopping, this one is for you. CNBC just dropped this downright insulting article right before we all set our out-of-office replies and head home for Christmas. I refuse to believe the person that made the above chart is serious, so let’s break this down into realistic terms.

Rent:

The Chart Says: $825

Reality Says: Unless you’re living in your parent’s basement and that’s what they are asking you to contribute, there is no way a single man who lives alone is paying $825. MAYBE if he lives in the Ozarks.

Donations:

The Chart Says: $615

Reality Says: BULLSHIT. I feel like i’m being bamboozled into giving a dollar every time I go to the grocery store to write my name on a paper star that they hang in the window.

Groceries:

The Chart Says: $400

Reality Says: If you’re living alone, there is zero chance this is true. Unless you’re eating filet mignon every single night, go screw. I had Spaghettios for lunch the other day and I have a Bachelor’s degree.

Health Insurance:

The Chart Says: $270

Reality Says: This is the first believable thing this graphic has said.

Dining Out:

The Chart Says: $250

Reality Says: What is this dude ordering? Do you know how many times i’ve been at a restaurant with friends and the check comes and the waiter gets handed 10 different Mastercards with the exact amounts written out for him to swipe?

Utilities:

The Chart Says: $195

Reality Says: Somewhat believable, but only if you’re still in that 2 year grace period with Comcast before they double the price without telling you.

Transportation:

The Chart Says: $130

Reality Says: My car payment alone is more than triple this, and I drive a fucking Chevy.

Cell Phone:

The Chart Says: $40

Reality Says: Only true if you’re on your parent’s plan or you’re still rocking that RAZR flip phone.

House Cleaner:

The Chart Says: $30

Reality Says:

Internet:

The Chart Says: $20

Reality Says: Who am I kidding, i’d pay hundreds for internet access without losing sleep.

In conclusion, don’t let any clickbait bullshit article bully you into thinking you’re not successful if you don’t make $100,000. You do you. Oh, and Merry Christmas.

Secret Santa Gone Wrong

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Thank you, office secret Santa, or as you should be called, 'disappointment roulette.' #FallonTonight http://t.co/azFxNRRQur

FOX News – According to an anonymous post on Reddit, a mother allegedly reached out to her Secret Santa gifter to both say thank you for the presents, and ask for another one…

“So…I know this is kinda awkward…but the spending limit was $50 and I looked online and it seems that the blanket and chocolates only add up to about $30?” the woman’s text reads.

“do you think it’s possible you could get me something else? My kids have been spending me up the wazoo! LOL.”

You can read the entire text message exchange here. From this exchange, it’s clear that this Secret Santa handled it better than most people would. The recipient had the gall to look up the prices of the presents and ask for more, and the Secret Santa actually offered throw her a twenty! That’s saintlike!

I wouldn’t even have responded to the first text, never mind the text where she asked for a Samsung Galaxy Tab. What planet in this galaxy is she from? This Secret Santa deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for how he handled this situation.

Stories like this are the reason why I don’t participate in office Secret Santas or Yankee Swaps. I made the mistake of participating in an office Secret Santa my first year in cubicle life. The spending limit was a much more appropriate $15, so I bought a craft beer six pack for my recipient and threw in a nice bottle opener to get up to about $15. My Secret Santa got me a few cans of Corona Light, a candy bar, and a shamrock koozie.

Image result for michael scott gif

I didn’t care about getting something back for about $15. I was disappointed by the shameless lack of effort. My gift clearly came out of the vegetable drawer of their refrigerator and their junk drawer. At 7:30 AM that morning. I decided to sit out the Yankee Swap the next year and watched as the boss nabbed the best gift early on and no one else had the guts to steal it from him.

When I get invites to Secret Santas or Yankee Swaps now, I just buy myself another Red Sox hat and call it a day.

Michigan Lady Wins Christmas With Sarcastic Lights Display

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AP – “The 34-year-old says her family started doing its own light display, but realized that the creation couldn’t compare. She says: “Nothing measures up…”Kelly’s neighbors have an elaborate display, including reindeer, a large snow globe and a huge bear on the roof.”

Everybody has that one asshole neighbor. The guy that just has to go above and beyond at Christmas time and make his house look like the goddamn Home Lighting aisle in Home Depot.

Well bravo to this crafty gal. Minimalists everywhere rejoice. A little dry humor goes a long way, especially when it saves you the hassle of hours and hours spent hanging all these lights. Only to have to take them all down in like 2 weeks. This lady wins Christmas.