Tag: Cowboys

Jaylon Smith Is Going To Play With One Fully Functioning Foot?

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Cowboys will use caution with Jaylon Smith in his return

So for those who don’t know Dallas Cowboys and former Notre Dame linebacker Jaylon Smith suffered a DEVASTATING knee injury to end his college career. Pretty much tore everything and anything in his knee and suffered nerve damage to boot. What makes it worse is he was doing the “team first” thing and strapping on the gold dome one last time to help his team win a bowl game rather than sitting it out and prepping for the draft.

After a year and a half or so of rehab Smith can now run, cut etc. and wants to try and play and it looks like the Cowboys are willing to give it a shot as well. His knee seems to be able to do and take enough. The kicker, no pun intended, is that the goddam nerve in his knee hasn’t recovered, or regenerated to be more accurate, fully if at at all. Think about that. My rotator cuff was bothering me so I took a week off from the gym. Jaylon Smith doesn’t have a fully functioning nerve and thus doesn’t have full feeling or activity in his knee and he’s gonna try and play pro football. He even suffers from a condition called drop foot. What’s that? Well, dangle your leg off something but keep your foot at a 90 degree angle, such as if you were to jump down you’d land flat on your flat feet. Ya he can’t that, foot just falls all flimsy. Every step he takes his foot just drops and flops. Absolutel debacle. It can be somewhat mitigated by a verrrry special kind of brace but even then it’s barely putting a band-aid on the problem.

It sucks for a kid that talented and hard working to have it all taken away like that, but it is as inspiring as all holy hell to see him try and make his dreams come true anyway. Here’s to hoping he can get it done.

Ezekiel Elliott is Doing His Best to Destroy My Fantasy Football Season and its Not Even August

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ESPN – Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott was involved in a late-night incident at a Dallas bar Sunday, a source confirmed to ESPN’s Adam Schefter. According to the Dallas Police Department, officers were dispatched to the bar around 9:40 p.m. A 30-year-old man said he was physically assaulted but could not identify who assaulted him. The man was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. A Dallas Police spokesperson said no arrests or suspects have been reported in connection with the incident, which was first reported by 105.3 FM The Fan in Dallas. The investigation is ongoing, according to police.

Before I get into this blog about Ezekiel Elliott yet again getting into trouble off the field, I have to get something off my chest.

Ok, I feel a little better. Part of me wants to write this latest incident off as a young guy getting into a scuffle at a bar like we’ve all done, but then I read this.

“According to the Dallas Police Department, officers were dispatched to the bar around 9:40 p.m.”

If you’re getting into brawls before its even fucking 10 pm, then you are the problem. It means you’ve either been boozing all day long and are legless by sundown or you’re just looking to pick fights like an asshole.

This concerns me not as a citizen of the world, but as a fantasy football owner that needs to have a bounce back season. After getting stuck in the mud with bad keepers the past few years; Marshawn Lynch in his final year before his *first* retirement and then his replacement Thomas Rawls who, despite every report otherwise, missed the first half of the season coming back from an injury. So Elliott’s my first great Keeper option in years.

As for his recent legal problems though. He’s already had a potential suspension hanging over his head for a 2016 domestic abuse allegation that the NFL still has yet to finish its investigation on. Not good. Then last August before his first preseason game he was spotted walking into a marijuana dispensary in Seattle. Before his first fucking game. My man, have a little self awareness. I do not care if you wanna smoke up, just send one of your guys out to get it. Don’t walk into a place where they sell a substance that is banned by the NFL. Especially don’t do this if you were a recent Top 5 pick in the NFL Draft.

Not to mention another run-in with cops at a bar in February (no charges or accusations) and of course the infamous pulling a titty out at a St. Patricks Day parade earlier this year. For the sake of my fantasy title aspirations, get your shit together man.

This is why I hate Keeper Leagues. The rest of my team last year was garbage, so I’m basically banking on Elliott, who was lights out last year. But now I may have to burn a first round pick on a guy who could miss a handful of games. Welp, I guess I’ll be turning on my Google Alerts for every Ezekiel Elliott update as I nervously await bad news.

God damnit.

The Falcons Just Cucked Jerry Jones and the Cowboys With Their New Halo Scoreboard

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Tweeted about this the other day, but I’d be remiss to not at least give it a quick shout out on the blog. Yes the Patriots destroyed the hopes and spirits of every Falcons fan there ever was and ever will be, but MY GAWD this is a stadium. The Atlanta Falcons just cucked Jerry Jones with this absolute dynamite Halo scoreboard.

Jerry’s World was famous for its absurdly “everything is bigger in Texas” 50 yard long scoreboard. That was top notch when it came out. Now compared to the Atlanta Halo scoreboard? Trash. Total garbage, might as well shut the place down like the old AstroDome.

NFL stadiums are like goddamn iPhones. They are shiny and amazing and cutting edge technology for like 12 months then the next version comes out and everyone is scrambling to sell their old piece of shit on ebay for pennies on the dollar. The Falcons may never recover from SuperBowl XLI, but they sure as shit are gonna have a baller ass stadium this year.

That is at least until the Rams open their new stadium in LA.

Indoor Football League Fans Successfully Reject Team Signing Greg Hardy

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ESPN – A 10-hour fan vote by an indoor football team in Utah asking whether the team should sign former NFL defensive end Greg Hardy ended in a “no” Thursday morning. Results on the team’s app, which fans use to vote to call plays during games for the Salt Lake Screaming Eagles, of the Indoor Football League, was a virtual 50-50 tie, but the team announced Thursday that 50.1 percent of voters were against Hardy being offered a contract.

This is phenomenal. The very people that scumbag Greg Hardy has never cared about, ya know besides women, in the fans just told him to go shit in a hat. Oh you were a Pro Bowler in the NFL? You had 15 sacks in the most competitive football league in the world? Yea not up in here, not in the Indoor Football League. We don’t take kindly to that kinda shit.

Greg Hardy is a scumbag without any sliver of remorse so I think its time to put that guy in the Disney Vault. But how about the Screaming Eagles? Legit running their team like Twitch Plays Pokemon. Letting the fans vote on everything from who the team signs all the way down to what plays to run.

Its brilliant yet moronic at the same time. Its like a real life Madden Franchise Mode. Its the one thing fans crave, the ability to somehow effect the outcome of the game on the field. Yet there will always be assholes like me who will vote for the team to sign guys like JaMarcus Russell because with my play calling I can make it work. Put him in the shotgun and throw howitzers down field or scramble for 60 yard touchdowns. I am the architect of asshole quarterbacks. I’m like the Bill Walsh of mobile QBs who have no business being under center in the NFL. I’ll make it work.

Anyways, kudos to the Salt Lake Screaming Eagles fans for telling Hardy to piss up a rope. I’m glad someone finally did.

PS – A+ unis from the Salt Lake Screaming Eagles.

Rating Yahoo’s Rankings of the Best Possible Patriots Super Bowl Matchups

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So I’ll save you the pain of imagining a Texans-Cowboys Super Bowl matchup, which Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner had ranked as the worst possible game. Four of the top 5 and 5 of the top 7 potential matchups are all Patriots games too. Who says people don’t wanna see another Pats SB? To the ratings!

7. Patriots – Giants: “Third time’s gotta be a charm, right Pats fans?”

Rating: A+ // This game would be the granddaddy of them all. I would be living off adrenaline and anxiety for two weeks straight leading up to this game. I need to beat the Giants in a Super Bowl more than I need oxygen. It’s like acid in my mouth. Buuuttt, Playoffs Eli scares the shit out of me for obvious reasons and I don’t think I can emotionally handle a 3rd straight SB loss to the Giants. But there coach has a mustache and looks like he’s on a list somewhere so maybe things are different this time. Tread carefully.

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5. Patriots – Seahawks: “Seattle isn’t what it’s been in the past, but it beat New England in Foxborough this season and Super Bowl 49 was an absolute classic. We’ll gladly roll the dice on another round.”

Rating: B+ // This would be another great matchup, the rematch of arguably the best Super Bowl ever with (not arguable) the greatest ending ever. Part of me worries the Seahawks get their revenge, but the last 5 times the Pats have played Seattle have gone: Loss (2016 reg season), Win (SB XLIX), Loss (2012 reg season), Win (2008 reg season). Soo science says the Patriots win this one.

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4. Patriots – Falcons: “This matchup might not be at the front of everyone’s mind, but it has just as much potential for a great game with the league’s top scoring defense (New England) trying to harness the league’s top scoring offense (Atlanta).”

Rating: C+ // I want to rank this higher, but every angle that the media will play to hype this game seem forced. Thomas Dmitroff left NE, built this Atlanta team and is now going against his former boss Bill Belichick, Former Boston College stud Matt Ryan going up against the Boston pro team etc. However it would be pretty interesting to see the NFL’s No. 1 scoring offense (ATL) vs the NFL’s No. 1 scoring defense (NE) and see who takes the title.

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3. Patriots – Packers: “Tom Brady vs. Aaron Rodgers. What more do you need?”

Rating: B- // Yahoo somehow did not mention a SB XXXI rematch?? (Still the best SB logo ever BTW) Belichick was just a young pup in 1996, the assistant coach under Bill Parcells. Think Belichick would love to beat the same franchise his mentor and boss couldn’t? Plus Brady vs Rodgers would indeed be a matchup made in Madden exhibition mode.

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1. Patriots – Cowboys: “Yes, Super Bowl media week would be insane and there’s no way anyone is running out of storylines with Jerry Jones around. But take away the hoopla that would cause TV ratings records to be smashed and we’re still left with a game between two teams that were the best in the NFL from wire to wire this year. If this matchup happens, it’ll be the fourth straight Super Bowl that the No. 1 seeds meet in the Super Bowl.”

Rating: B+ // The two biggest franchises in the NFL. America’s Team vs the Team That Invented America. The parallels are crazy too. A young QB stepping in for the injured veteran, playing so well he keeps the job and leads his team to a Super Bowl title. Shit, no I don’t like the way this is setting up. Luckily the Pats run defense is their strength because Ezekiel Elliot could dominate this game single handedly. In the end though I think Brady and co. make it a track meet and I don’t think Dak Prescott, as well as he’s played, is ready to win that kind of game yet.