I would expect nothing less from the fine people of Texas. This guy definitely walked in wearing a 10 gallon hat and Jerry Jones shouted YOU’RE HIRED before he could even sit down. Jerry probably didn’t even bother to ask if the guy actually went to medical school. Shoot first ask questions later, thats how Jerry built his empire.
ESPN – A federal appeals court cleared the way Thursday for the NFL to impose a six-game suspension on Dallas Cowboys star Ezekiel Elliott over domestic violence allegations, siding with the league in the latest high-profile fight over its ability to punish players for off-field behavior. In a 2-1 decision, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals panel in New Orleans granted the league’s emergency request to set aside an injunction and ordered a district court in Texas to dismiss Elliott’s case. The NFL announced that the suspension was effective immediately, though further appeals were possible and the Cowboys are not playing this weekend.
As a guy that used a First Round pick to keep Ezekiel Elliott in my Fantasy Football league this year, I just need to get something off my chest.
Alright, now we can move on.
The NFL really is the goddamn WWE these days. Just drama week after week, storylines all over the place. The last two years was was Tom Brady and Deflategate with the Patriots trying to fight city hall (and losing). Now we got this.
I’m actually pretty shocked at this turn of events. As we talked about on The 300s Podcast recently, I really did not think that the NFL would be able to get this overturned and Zeke would be able to play all year. Basically just kick the can down the road until next season, similar to Brady.
The NFLPA’s new playbook seems to be lets just challenge everything in court and keep the NFL constantly in the news with shitty headlines until the league comes back to the table to negotiate player punishment.
HA! Silly me for thinking Roger Goodell would give up his dictator level of power so easily.
Now the crown jewel of my fantasy team, Ezekiel Elliott, is suspended once again. Full disclosure, if Zeke did what he’s accused of doing he’s obviously a scumbag. BUT, if he didn’t and Roger Goodell just tanked my fantasy season then I’m gonna flip my goddamn desk.
Yesterday news broke at the ripe old time of 5:01 pm as I was leaving my cube job. So I had to run to the waiver wire and deal with Sophie’s Choice of whether to pick up Darren McFadden (has been a healthy scratch all year) or Alfred Morris (has actually played football this season). I pulled the trigger and went with Morris, but I’m sure the Cowboys will turn to a guy who couldn’t get in uniform to be the bell cow back moving forward because fantasy football is a goddamn crapshoot.
And of course the Cowboys are on a bye this week so I have to wait another 9 days to see who the hell is gonna get the rock for Dallas.
You come at the king, you best not miss. Cole Beasley just put this fantasy football owner in a goddamn body bag.
You just heard two sounds. One was Cole hitting Enter on his keyboard, the other was this kid hitting the ground. You have to love the utterly absurd phrase of “Don’t mother fuck me bro.” I’m gonna have to start working that into conversations from now on. If you’re gonna shit talk Cole Beasley about his fantasy football production then be prepared to face the repercussions.
I feel like I shouldn’t have to state this disclaimer, but I do. Don’t get it twisted, if Ezekiel Elliott was beating his girlfriend he’s a scumbag and should face something a lot tougher than a couple months off from work. With that being said, lets now move on.
Ezekiel Elliott, you stupid sonofabitch. I’ve said this to you once before and I’ll say it again.
After taking an absolute bath the last couple of years with keepers made out of glass in Thomas Rawls and his predecessor Marshawn Lynch, I was primed for a huge year with stud keeper Zeke. Now he’s out nearly half the season as he faces a six game suspension with the Cowboys’ bye week coming in Week 6. So that first round price tag for a guy who won’t take the field until Week 8 is out the door.
And in some sort of sick joke Marshawn Lynch is back in the league just taunting me. Not a ton of great options for potential keepers for a fantasy football team that finished in 11th place. What a vicious cycle. I guess I could always go with Matt Bryant? At least he won’t be getting suspended for being a complete dickhead.
Half t-shirt wearing, suspension earning, fantasy tanking season Ezekiel Elliott. I think I’ve just made a new enemy. You can join the list of scrub players I send angry letters to asking for my fantasy football money back as penance. Thomas Rawls, Justin Blackmon, Felix Jones, LenDale White, Travis Henry, Carson Palmer. You’re on the list now Ezekiel.
PS – Jerry Jones can eat a bag of dicks on this one.
So for those who don’t know Dallas Cowboys and former Notre Dame linebacker Jaylon Smith suffered a DEVASTATING knee injury to end his college career. Pretty much tore everything and anything in his knee and suffered nerve damage to boot. What makes it worse is he was doing the “team first” thing and strapping on the gold dome one last time to help his team win a bowl game rather than sitting it out and prepping for the draft.
After a year and a half or so of rehab Smith can now run, cut etc. and wants to try and play and it looks like the Cowboys are willing to give it a shot as well. His knee seems to be able to do and take enough. The kicker, no pun intended, is that the goddam nerve in his knee hasn’t recovered, or regenerated to be more accurate, fully if at at all. Think about that. My rotator cuff was bothering me so I took a week off from the gym. Jaylon Smith doesn’t have a fully functioning nerve and thus doesn’t have full feeling or activity in his knee and he’s gonna try and play pro football. He even suffers from a condition called drop foot. What’s that? Well, dangle your leg off something but keep your foot at a 90 degree angle, such as if you were to jump down you’d land flat on your flat feet. Ya he can’t that, foot just falls all flimsy. Every step he takes his foot just drops and flops. Absolutel debacle. It can be somewhat mitigated by a verrrry special kind of brace but even then it’s barely putting a band-aid on the problem.
It sucks for a kid that talented and hard working to have it all taken away like that, but it is as inspiring as all holy hell to see him try and make his dreams come true anyway. Here’s to hoping he can get it done.
ESPN – Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott was involved in a late-night incident at a Dallas bar Sunday, a source confirmed to ESPN’s Adam Schefter. According to the Dallas Police Department, officers were dispatched to the bar around 9:40 p.m. A 30-year-old man said he was physically assaulted but could not identify who assaulted him. The man was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. A Dallas Police spokesperson said no arrests or suspects have been reported in connection with the incident, which was first reported by 105.3 FM The Fan in Dallas. The investigation is ongoing, according to police.
Before I get into this blog about Ezekiel Elliott yet again getting into trouble off the field, I have to get something off my chest.
Ok, I feel a little better. Part of me wants to write this latest incident off as a young guy getting into a scuffle at a bar like we’ve all done, but then I read this.
“According to the Dallas Police Department, officers were dispatched to the bar around 9:40 p.m.”
If you’re getting into brawls before its even fucking 10 pm, then you are the problem. It means you’ve either been boozing all day long and are legless by sundown or you’re just looking to pick fights like an asshole.
This concerns me not as a citizen of the world, but as a fantasy football owner that needs to have a bounce back season. After getting stuck in the mud with bad keepers the past few years; Marshawn Lynch in his final year before his *first* retirement and then his replacement Thomas Rawls who, despite every report otherwise, missed the first half of the season coming back from an injury. So Elliott’s my first great Keeper option in years.
As for his recent legal problems though. He’s already had a potential suspension hanging over his head for a 2016 domestic abuse allegation that the NFL still has yet to finish its investigation on. Not good. Then last August before his first preseason game he was spotted walking into a marijuana dispensary in Seattle. Before his first fucking game. My man, have a little self awareness. I do not care if you wanna smoke up, just send one of your guys out to get it. Don’t walk into a place where they sell a substance that is banned by the NFL. Especially don’t do this if you were a recent Top 5 pick in the NFL Draft.
Not to mention another run-in with cops at a bar in February (no charges or accusations) and of course the infamous pulling a titty out at a St. Patricks Day parade earlier this year. For the sake of my fantasy title aspirations, get your shit together man.
This is why I hate Keeper Leagues. The rest of my team last year was garbage, so I’m basically banking on Elliott, who was lights out last year. But now I may have to burn a first round pick on a guy who could miss a handful of games. Welp, I guess I’ll be turning on my Google Alerts for every Ezekiel Elliott update as I nervously await bad news.
Tweeted about this the other day, but I’d be remiss to not at least give it a quick shout out on the blog. Yes the Patriots destroyed the hopes and spirits of every Falcons fan there ever was and ever will be, but MY GAWD this is a stadium. The Atlanta Falcons just cucked Jerry Jones with this absolute dynamite Halo scoreboard.
Jerry’s World was famous for its absurdly “everything is bigger in Texas” 50 yard long scoreboard. That was top notch when it came out. Now compared to the Atlanta Halo scoreboard? Trash. Total garbage, might as well shut the place down like the old AstroDome.
NFL stadiums are like goddamn iPhones. They are shiny and amazing and cutting edge technology for like 12 months then the next version comes out and everyone is scrambling to sell their old piece of shit on ebay for pennies on the dollar. The Falcons may never recover from SuperBowl XLI, but they sure as shit are gonna have a baller ass stadium this year.
That is at least until the Rams open their new stadium in LA.
Win or lose, if nothing else I hope this Bulls series has helped redeem Rajon Rondo’s name in the eyes of Celtics fans (and around the NBA) and of course the cantankerous Boston media. This is a guy who was a key component of the Celtics first championship in 20+ years and these days the media talks about him like a total bust who sunk the franchise. I swear these people revel in ripping the guy. I mean we all know the stories of how Rondo is a dickhead, smokes little kids in Connect Four, but thats part of what endeared him to Celtics fans and thats part of what makes him a ruthless competitor.
Its also been wild to see the Celtics point guard of yesterday whom they had once planned to build around going head to head with his direct replacement in Isaiah Thomas.
So even if it was short lived, with Rondo busting his thumb, it was fun seeing the old Rondo out there dropping dimes, driving defenses nuts and generally quarterbacking a team as he dismantled the Celtics. I don’t know where that Rondo has been the last couple of years, maybe getting traded to Dallas then getting picked up off the scrap heap from Sacramento had his “Fuck This” attitude firing on all cylinders, but it was fun watching that guy again. (Reports say Rondo may play in Game 5 now)
So is Rondo a mature adult who takes setbacks and more specifically authority and discipline all that well? Nope, the guy is a big kid. Ya know, like half the league. But put him on a decent team, give him the keys to the offense and let him do his thing? Thats the guy I remember dropping triple doubles in the playoffs, the guy slapping the floor begging to guard LeBron, the guy who played with one hand after Dwyane Wade broke his fucking arm. (Still an outrageously dirty play, so yea not exactly shocking that Rondo ripped his new teammate Wade this season.)
It was good to see THIS guy back.
So Felger and Mazz can cut the shit ranting and raving about how Celtics fans pumped up Rondo as some false prophet when in reality he was a bum. Put him on the right team and this guy is a one man show. So hopefully he pops a couple Senzu Beans and we see him again in this series because the Rondo resurgence has been too short lived and I need more of it.
PS – Say what you will, that short sleeve suit was balling. Its called fashion guys, have a little class.
ESPN – A 10-hour fan vote by an indoor football team in Utah asking whether the team should sign former NFL defensive end Greg Hardy ended in a “no” Thursday morning. Results on the team’s app, which fans use to vote to call plays during games for the Salt Lake Screaming Eagles, of the Indoor Football League, was a virtual 50-50 tie, but the team announced Thursday that 50.1 percent of voters were against Hardy being offered a contract.
This is phenomenal. The very people that scumbag Greg Hardy has never cared about, ya know besides women, in the fans just told him to go shit in a hat. Oh you were a Pro Bowler in the NFL? You had 15 sacks in the most competitive football league in the world? Yea not up in here, not in the Indoor Football League. We don’t take kindly to that kinda shit.
Greg Hardy is a scumbag without any sliver of remorse so I think its time to put that guy in the Disney Vault. But how about the Screaming Eagles? Legit running their team like Twitch Plays Pokemon. Letting the fans vote on everything from who the team signs all the way down to what plays to run.
Its brilliant yet moronic at the same time. Its like a real life Madden Franchise Mode. Its the one thing fans crave, the ability to somehow effect the outcome of the game on the field. Yet there will always be assholes like me who will vote for the team to sign guys like JaMarcus Russell because with my play calling I can make it work. Put him in the shotgun and throw howitzers down field or scramble for 60 yard touchdowns. I am the architect of asshole quarterbacks. I’m like the Bill Walsh of mobile QBs who have no business being under center in the NFL. I’ll make it work.
Anyways, kudos to the Salt Lake Screaming Eagles fans for telling Hardy to piss up a rope. I’m glad someone finally did.
The 300s 