Tag: Dunkies

Dunkin’ Donuts Rebranding as Dunkin’ is Just Factually Inaccurate

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Boston Magazine – Dunkin’ Donuts is launching an “unprecedented” overhaul of its Boston locations, rebranding dozens of them as “Dunkin,‘” and there is absolutely nothing you or I or anyone else can do about it.

The coffee chain, which got its start in Massachusetts, is announcing the spread of its new modern concept at a Dunkin’-themed extravaganza today from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the newly remodeled Dunkin’ near City Hall…According to a release ahead of the celebration, Dunkin’ Donuts will be bringing its modern new design and truncated logo to 30 of its Boston locations. It says it’s re-imagining its coffee shops with “a modern in-store experience and new technology to make running on Dunkin’ faster and more convenient than ever before.”

I don’t know one single fucking person that calls Dunkin Donuts “Dunkin” and neither do you. If you tell me that you call this beacon of Boston by the nickname “Dunkin” then you are lying. It’s “Dunkies.” Always has been always will be, regardless of what the silly orange and pink sign says. Dunkies corporate offices really missed the mark on this one.

You want proof you say? Look no further than this Casey Affleck SNL skit. Hilarious, but inaccurate. “I love Dunkin, guy” is a line only a shoobie would write.

I rest my case.

Dunkin’ Unveils Double Dollar Menu

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WCVB 5 – Dunkin’ Donuts is bringing an updated menu of $2 snack items nationwide, after what the company called “a successful test” earlier this year.

The Dunkin’ Run menu includes the company’s first gluten-free product: an individually wrapped fudge brownie… The menu also includes the company’s Donut Fries, which began being offered in its stores nationwide in July. They are described as warm croissant-style donut sticks tossed in cinnamon sugar.

Other items on the new menu are ham and cheese roll-ups, pretzel bites with mustard and waffle-breaded chicken tenders.

I’m all in favor of fast food restaurants taking chances and I have no problem with fast food restaurants trying to branch out beyond their category. I love Taco Bell breakfast and their nacho fries are great. I’m not saying Dunkin’ should be restricted to selling just coffee and donuts (as Denis Leary once said), but can we hold off on throwing a parade just because they added supermarket checkout lane fudge brownies to their menu?

Image result for supermarket fudge brownie

I’m also firmly in favor of value menus (as opposed to “value” meals.) I appreciate Dunkin’s strategy here, but I question their execution. These chicken tenders look like something from a bag at the bottom of my freezer…

Image result for dunkin chicken tenders

Why would I spend two bucks on microwaved chicken patties when I could get 10 chicken nuggets or nine chicken fries at Burger King for $1.69? Sorry Dunkin’. I’m not mad. Just a little disappointed.

PS – This post does not apply to Donut Fries. Those look delicious.

New Patriots Lineman Ricky Jean-Francois Already Owns 30 Dunkin Donuts Locations

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CBS Sports – “Will Ricky Jean-Francois show up to his first practice at Gillette Stadium with donuts and coffee? After all, the 30-year-old defensive lineman reportedly signed by the New England Patriots on Tuesday owns more than two dozen Dunkin’ Donuts franchises….Jean-Francois met with Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Nigel Travis before taking on his first store in Savannah, Georgia. He told FOX Sports Radio in September that he’s up to 30 stores. His goal is to operate 50 Dunkin’ Donuts before he retires, according to Packers.com.”

Here’s a guy that just gets it. These dudes are making millions of dollars to play a kids game, but most of them don’t realize they probably aren’t going to have a 15+ year career like my guy Tom Brady. You how long the average NFL careers actually is? According to the NFLPA its 3.3 years. The NFL says its closer to 6, but either way thats not very long. Most guys seem to forget that, which is why so many of them go broke and end up on 30 for 30 documentaries.

So rather than balling out and living like a maniac for 5 years, lets be pragmatic and buy up some Dunkies franchises. Diversify yo bonds. Now if Ricky takes a bad hit and his playing career is over he can always fall back on going to those annual D&D franchisee meetings in like Cedar Rapids and just run his coffee empire.

I know next to nothing about this guy, but he already seems like a smart dude and those are the types of players that always seem to thrive on Bill Belichick coached teams. Time to make the donuts indeed.

The 300s Reviews: Dunkin Donuts Energy Punch Powered by Monster

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First off, before we get into this review, props to Dunkies for actually trying something new for a change. I don’t know how many more shitty breakfast sandwich variations I can take on different types of old bread. But, back to the Monster Energy Punch. It would seem Dunkies is looking to crack into the market of under 30 that may prefer Red Bulls to black coffees. Or the Friday night Allston pre-game crowd. Same thing, I guess.

I think the best way to describe this is probably…….pure poison. I am not a health nut by any means, when I’m at the dentist getting my 8th cavity filled I know why and I have no regrets. But, when I first ordered the thing I was a little unsettled when they slapped a Double Gulp down on the table. No sizes to choose from; this is the one you get. This is 64 ounces of pure sugar so theres no dipping your toes in the water here. Hold you nose and dive in.

Lets go through a timeline of events just to give a little perspective.

8:15 am: Went with the Blue Raspberry. First sip? Actually not terrible. Its pretty sweet, but I mean thats to be expected when you mix a can of Monster (using the green flavor over the sugar free blue can is where this starts to go wrong) with a goddamn fruit Coolatta.

8:30 am: Took a few sips of this behemoth on my drive to work, but immediately its apparent that this is not a drink you’re going to chug, no matter how badly you need a caffeine fix.

8:50 am: I am feeling the buzz. I highly doubt its the caffeine. As a habitual abuser of energy drinks, I know this shit is not energy. This is a sugar high felt only by the likes of a toddler on Halloween. Alright, lets ride this out.

9:10 am: I am starting to question my life choices. I’ve drank maybe 10% of the Monster Energy Punch and the buzz is already starting to fade.

9:20 am: I am full on hungover from sugar and hesitant to put any more of this concoction in my body.

9:45 am: We have thrown in the white flag. Do not want. Get this shit out of my face as fast as possible.

While I tip my hat to Dunkies for jumping into something new with both feet, holy hell how did this make it past the fucking test kitchen?

This is unsurprisingly a diabetes BOMB and you would have to be a degenerate to put down the entire Gatorade cooler worth of punch they give you. Can’t recommend it, but if you choose to tackle this drink you do so at your own risk. I still love Dunkin, guy.