Tag: iron man 3

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man 3

The300s MCU

ironman3_lob_crd_01_10

At this time I would like anyone who enjoys Iron Man 3 to vacate the premises because this film makes me physically ill. I’ve been dreading this movie in my re-watch from day one and lo and behold it’s just as terrible as I remember. Iron Man 3 was the first film to drop after The Avengers finally came to life on the big screen after years of teasing in the MCU. Yet, if Iron Man 3‘s job was to set the tone on what was to come in Phase Two, boy oh boy did it miss the mark. Let’s dive in.

Here’s a brief summary because I just can’t be bothered to relive this madness.

Iron Man 3 worried the hell out of me when I got out of the theatre. After all the hype surrounding The Avengers and us finally getting the amazing team up film we were all promised, we were back to individual movies and solo adventures for all our heroes. This was a brutal start. I honestly fully expected the MCU to fall apart after this movie, solely based on the reintroduction to stand alone films. My big problem with much of Phase Two was that it all feels like filler. We know at this point that Thanos is coming, and that the infinity stones will surely play a part in things to come. The problem is we were being set up for some complete waste of time films like Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World, and yes, even Avengers: Age of Ultron (I honestly couldn’t tell you a single thing that happens in Thor 2, so i’ll let Red tackle that next week).

Iron Man 3’s biggest flaw is that it does almost nothing to advance the plot of the MCU. It takes everything the first two Iron Man films did and turns it on it’s head. Remember how it was a big deal Tony had an arc reactor in his chest to keep the shrapnel in his body from entering his heart and killing him? Ah forget it, let’s just have surgery to remove it. Not necessary anymore. Wait, so why was that impossible the first two times around, but now it’s completely feasible? And don’t even get me started on The Mandarin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdVOdW7kQwk

You take one of the most badass villains in the Iron Man universe and you turn him into an actor pretending to be terrorist just so we the audience can look and say “ooooh” “aaaah” “classic bait and switch!” It totally nullifies the tension in the beginning of the film where for a second I thought we were about to get something totally insane from an MCU where good villains are tough to come by. Finally, how about Pepper turning into the Human Torch for a grand total of five minutes just to bypass the fact that she fell to her death. Oh, and they fixed her off screen by the way. Back to normal Pepper!

Honestly, Phase Two is incredibly hit or miss for me. I just thank my lucky stars that Iron Man 3 is behind me. Could have derailed the whole thing. At this point in time I would like to officially declare it to be the worst movie of the MCU.

Final Rating: 2.0 out of 10

And not to leave on a completely downer of a note, I present to you the one scene I enjoy in the movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lid6feCW-DY

 

 

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man 2

The300s MCU

iron_man_two_ver6

Let me start off by saying that Iron Man 2 is probably the worst film in the MCU. It bothers the living hell out of me, especially coming off of what I consider one of the best Marvel movies period, the first Iron Man. Ask most Marvel fans and they’ll probably rank this one near or at the bottom of their list which is totally valid. There are some incredible lows in this film, and i’ll do my best to break them down and sort them out for you.

Iron Man 2 is the 3rd installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released on May 7th, 2010. By all means, this is the first true step in building towards The Avengers, as it features Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson. To quickly summarize, Iron Man 2 starts off with Tony at the Stark Expo in Queens, NY. He’s showboating his Iron Man suit, as he often does, but it’s also revealed that he’s dying, poisoned by the very thing keeping him alive, his chest arc reactor. Watching on television somewhere in Russia, the sinister Ivan Vanko, played by Mickey Rourke, is working away on his own version of the arc reactor, based on plans crafted by his father and Tony’s dad, Howard. He ambushes Tony at the Monaco Grand Prix, debuting his alter ego Whiplash. This is met with curiosity from Tony’s rival arms dealer, Justin Hammer, played by Sam Rockwell. Hammer breaks Whiplash out of prison and hires him to build a fleet of Iron Man-like suits for him to win back his government arms contract. Vanko does build Hammer his suits, but is also secretly working on improving his Whiplash armor, very similar to the way Stark secretly built his Iron Man armor in captivity in the first installment of the franchise. The film culminates with a battle at the Stark expo, and with the help of Don Cheadle’s War Machine, Tony saves the day once again. Oh, and remember how Tony was dying? Yeah, he just magically creates a brand new element that has the power to save him. He’s really smart guys.

You’ll notice how I left out a lot of what happens in the middle of the movie. There’s a reason for that. It’s pure trash.

There’s so much happening in the second act of this movie that is painful to the eyes and ears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huiZFHZwI_o

Let’s start with Rhodey becoming War Machine because Tony Stark was too drunk in his Iron Man suit. Riiiiiiiight. Just try and watch this nonsense with a straight face. Also, shout out to a cameo by DJ AM. RIP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Ds4_k3kiU

“I want my bird.” Vanko insists on Hammer getting him his bird, and he seems pretty damn serious about it. Yet, later in the movie he gets a random bird and….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beK0D9ChV40

….it immediately gets bagged in hilarious fashion! Also, what the hell is with Sam Rockwell in this movie? He is insanely bad and overacting the shit out of this thing. Mickey Rourke looks bored to death at every turn, and that’s saying something coming from an actor who was pretty much blacklisted from Hollywood for like a decade before this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWqhGlLqJEM

I only put this here because John Favreau stinks at acting. Decent director, stinky actor. Also, are we really not supposed to think ScarJo is Black Widow? Why even bother trying to hide it and play this game?

Finally, I’d like to shout out to Kate Mara for being in this thing for a total of 30 seconds.

I honestly could go on and on and nitpick this movie to death. Iron Man 3 stinks just as bad which is kind of crazy to think that for as much acclaim this series has, it only really has one good entry.

My final review: 3.0 out of 10. I’ve included the trailer just in case you wanted to test it out yourself. Godspeed.

Stay tuned for our next entry in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, Thor.