Tag: Jets

Tom Brady Announces His Retirement

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Update: Tom Brady has officially announced he is retiring from football.

Tom Brady is officially probably retiring from the NFL after 22 seasons, seven Super Bowl titles, three MVPs, and five Super Bowl MVPs. He is without a shred of doubt the greatest quarterback in NFL history, likely the greatest player in league history, and arguably the greatest athlete in American sports history. As we process the end of an era, only the most somber of songs will suffice. Hit it, acoustic Josie.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=HhwHXYaOJGk

That is if you believe the likes of Adam Schefter and Jeff Darlington, two of the most tied-in guys in all of sports media. What started as rumors of Brady making a decision on his future sooner than later quickly turned into the breaking news alarm being sounded on Saturday afternoon. It was clearly not something ESPN was prepared for at that exact moment because they had wall to wall college basketball games airing and the regional sports networks like NESN and NBC Sports Boston are usually just airing infomercials when there’s not a game on. So kudos to the radio guys for doing the news justice all day while the snow piled up. But then there were conflicting reports that started coming in quoting sources like Brady’s agent Don Yee and even his own father saying he had not made a decision yet on his future. Mike Silver even reported that Tom Brady actually called Tampa Bay GM Jason Licht to tell him he had not made a decision yet. Welp, ESPN, the NFL Network, all of the internet, even TB12’s own Twitter account tweeted out notes of congratulations on a great career. Sports Center seemed to have taken Schefty at his reporting because they ran non-stop coverage and heart wrenching Tom Brady retirement packages. As they should because whether it was Giselle, Alex Guerrero or someone else that leaked the decision; I would bet my car that Brady is retiring. He’s just pissed he got scooped before he could announce it himself in his own way. (i.e. the mysteriously yet to be aired final episode of his ESPN+ show)

With all that being said, I am going to move forward with this blog assuming Brady is in fact retiring. I really hope this isn’t a Brett Favre situation and he hems and haws. Make a decision and stick with it. I personally don’t think he should walk away because he clearly is still one of the best QBs in the league, but hey if he is calling it a career I get it. He’s won seven Super Bowls, he has every significant NFL record for a QB, he’s got multiple budding businesses to tend to now, and most importantly he has his health. If this it for Tom Brady, what an incredible career it has been. Equally as impressive is the fact that he will be retiring at the height of his powers as he finishes his final season as a legit MVP candidate

So he calls it a career, rather than wait to get hurt or face an inevitable possible decline in skills, even as Brady once famously said “I’ll retire when I suck.” Suck, Tom Brady does not. There aren’t many guys that are able to walk away at the top of their game though. The only recent comp I can think of is David Ortiz, who retired after a 2016 All-Star season in which he hit .315 with 38 home runs and 127 RBIs. Absolutely mind boggling. As badly as Tom Brady wants to play until he’s in his fifties, there is something to be said about walking away before the wheels come off. Nobody wants to remember their idols stumbling around the field, clearly diminished and just chasing former greatness.

Speaking of David Ortiz, the fact that he gets elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame the same week that Tom Brady announces his retirement has me feeling straight up geriatric. My childhood idols now have their numbers retired, streets named after them, HOF inductions, and before long will have statues in their honor. We have truly lived through the greatest era in Boston sports history and to quote Henry Hill “and now it’s all over.”

Didn’t matter. It didn’t mean anything. When I was down, I’d go out and win some more. We won everything. We beat other teams, we battled the league, we even came back from 28-3. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it’s all over.

Sure Mac Jones looked pretty good, he helped bring the Patriots back to the playoffs as a rookie, and is technically a Pro Bowl level QB now as an alternate replacement. But it’ll never be the same, and I can already feel my future children rolling their eyes as I tell yet another story championing Tom Brady’s greatness.

In his final season, Tom Brady led the NFL in Passing Touchdowns, Yards, Completions, and Pass Attempts, all at the age of 44 and the oldest player in the league. That is otherworldly in a career of god level accomplishments. I’m not sure if this StatMuse graphic is completely up to date, but it paints the picture of just how utterly dominant Brady has been in his 40s compared to every other QB in league history. Sure he has way more games played, but that’s not a knock, in fact that’s a testament to his…pliability (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).

If this is in fact it, I have to give Brady props for not doing the whole gross Mariano Rivera Retirement Tour. Rivera was the greatest closer in baseball history and was a joy/terror to watch for all those years. But announcing you’re going to retire after one more season just opens the gates for distractions and gifts and media fawning every single week and it sounds exhausting if not outright off putting. Assuming the retirement takes, like a successful transplant operation, he will retire after his age-44 season, which is actually one season shy of the 45-years-old end date he had not so subtly hinted at for years. I’ve personally always thought the “45-years-old” timeline was thrown out there by Brady to throw us off the scent so he could play into his 40’s and then retire at some point before the media started asking him every single offseason about his plans. However, as he continued to play I was less sure of that because let’s face it, if he remained healthy Tom Brady could have played until he was registering for his AARP membership. I can even picture the Instagram promo video for TB12 introducing its most famous Medicare client.

Now in the interest of continuing to process my Tom Brady Leaving the Patriots grief, I’m only briefly going to go back to the Bargaining stage here for a second. Simply put, only playing two seasons in Tampa Bay makes his late career departure hurt a little bit less. A lot of Patriots fans will never forgive Brady for leaving, but I think the majority of fans recognized Brady was essentially forced out of town by Belichick and/or after 20 years it may have just been time to move on. So with that being said, I know a lot of Pats fans were rooting for Brady to play well and even win another ring down in Florida if not to stick it to Belichick, at least to incentivize the Patriots to get their shit together, and fast.

However, if Brady had continued to win in Tampa Bay for several years, it suddenly becomes a very real possibility that the lines of allegiance start to blur. Just think about it, do you look back at Peyton Manning as a Colt or a Bronco? It’s not as clear cut as you might think because although Manning had the bulk of his record breaking HOF career in Indy, he had an ugly breakup with the team that drafted him, then went on to set single season TD records in Denver, continued to have legendary battles against Tom Brady and the Pats, went to two Super Bowls, and won another ring with the Broncos. I think that was starting to become an unspoken fear of Patriots fans who don’t even want to entertain the discussion of who claims Tom Brady as their own.

Getting back on track with my stages of processing the post-Brady grief, I think the Week 4 game this season in Foxborough provided a lot of closure for fans who felt blindsided by his departure nearly two years prior. Not to mention an all-time promo from the Sunday Night Football team.

Speaking of closure, goddamnit am I glad I dragged my lazy ass off the couch in Boston and drove the five hours down to the Meadowlands just to see Tom Brady play in person (and witness him rip out the heart of the Jets) one last time. We even joked in the pre-game tailgate that we’d probably be back in the same parking lot four years from now seeing Tom light up another generation of Jets players, but in the back of our minds we knew this could be it. And it was.

We’ll continue to work through this news and process Tom Brady’s retirement when he finally makes it official. Or if he pulls a Wolf of Wall Street and declares he’s not leaving, we’ll cover that too. If this is it though, I can promise you one thing: Five years from now I will without a doubt be in Canton, OH to witness Tom Brady’s Hall of Fame induction speech. And I’m not a meterologist, but I already know it will be incredibly dusty that day.

Not a Silver Linings Guy, But Despite the Loss, Mac Jones Gives the Patriots a W

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I was texting with a few buddies during the Patriots game and despite the backbreaking Damien Harris fumble and absolutely brutal way to lose a game, the most common exchange was “Cam Newton is never completing that pass.” And that’s not meant to dump on Cam Newton, who was by all reports a great teammate and team ambassador despite his middling performance on the field. But man what a difference it makes having a young, competent, and promising QB like Mac Jones on the field operating the offense like a vet.

Mac Jones wasn’t lighting it up and throwing for 400+ yards like Dak Prescott or throwing 5 touchdowns like Jameis Winston, but man he looked good. He looked smooth, he was never rattled (aside from that near fumble/lateral play) and he generally moved the offense down the field with precision. His passes were accurate and he frequently put the ball in places where only his receiver could get it.

And my god that wheel route play where Mac dropped it in a bucket!

*Chef’s kiss*

So while it was a heartbreaking way to lose and one that could seriously come back to bite the Patriots in the ass with it being a divisional game, I still came away from this feeling pretty good about where the Patriots are headed for the first time in a long time. Although I imagine Bill Belichick will be taking more of a Winston Wolf approach when it comes to doling out compliments in team meetings this week…

But if you’re a Patriots fan you have to be encouraged by what you saw on Sunday. For the first time in 2 years the Patriots were able to run an NFL offense. Granted, their $80 million tight ends weren’t exactly balling out, but the Pats are already nearly halfway to their total receptions by tight ends all of last season (18 catches) after ONE game (8 catches) this season. Mac did not play favorites, moved the ball around and hit 8 different receivers to keep the chains moving. The Pats definitely eased Mac Jones into the game with plenty of runs in the first half, but by the 4th quarter he looked completely comfortable and best of all he was MONEY against pressure.

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We don’t want to crown the kid as the savior after one game because there will be struggles as there are with any rookie, but the fact that the Patriots threw the ball 40 times Sunday just a few months removed from Mac’s last game at Alabama shows you just confident they are in the kid.

And while I think I speak for us all when I say we were a little concerned with his swag level after that awkward walk on draft night:

But in his first career start what song does he come out to? Mike Jones! (Who?) Not exactly Tom Brady and Hova, but going with a Houston rapper who was popping when Mac Jones was all of 7 years old is grade A, top level SWAG.

So while it’s unfortunate to be 0-1 and not take advantage of the Bills and Jets losing, after watching the way Mac Jones played in his first career game it’s hard not to have a feeling that eluded Patriots fans all of last year: hope.

Russell Wilson Rumored to Be On the Trade Block and the Patriots Aren’t Even MENTIONED as a Landing Spot

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How is one of the most successful franchises in NFL history that has a gigantic, gaping hole at the quarterback position not even mentioned as a possible landing spot for an elite QB that is suddenly and unexpectedly on the trade block? Whether it was Deshaun Watson, Matthew Stafford, Carson Wentz, and now Russell Wilson the Patriots don’t seem to be in on any of them. Regardless of what you think of each and everyone of those guys, all of them have played at an MVP level yet the Pats have no interest. I know in New England we have somehow fetishized “value” and take pride in our team not overpaying for anything. Well, sometimes you need to overpay a little bit or you get stuck driving a ’95 Civic with cigarette holes in the armrests because you don’t wanna pay for a premium for a gently used 2018 SUV with leather seats.

This team has a lot of holes so understandably Bill Belichick isn’t doing cartwheels when thinking about having to trade 2-4 first rounders for a quarterback. Yes, Russell Wilson will turn 33 next season so thats a consideration as well. But the larger point to be made is there have been some solid to excellent QBs on the market this offseason and there hasn’t been a single peep about the Pats. Are they really that against overpaying to solidify the most important position in sports? Well…probably yes, considering they let Tom Brady walk out the door rather than give the man an extension and some roster input. And Tom Brady these other guys are not.

But maybe it’s something worse…has the allure of the Patriots gone out the door with TB12?

It was widely reported that Stafford specifically said he would not play in New England and we all called him a puss for it. But Adam Schefter also reported that “the Cowboys, Saints, Raiders, and Bears are the only teams Wilson would consider.” So if the Pats don’t want to dump a handful of first rounders into one position I don’t necessarily agree with it, but I understand. However, if it’s more of players simply not wanting to come here then that’s a much larger issue.

Above all else, I just would like to see some semblance of a plan from Belichick. Whether that’s going out and bringing back the prodigal son in Jimmy G, trading up in the draft to get a guy like Trey Lance, or bringing on a bridge QB like Marcus Mariota and then drafting another QB late. Something tangible to build towards. But bringing back Cam Newton on a veteran minimum contract after he threw 8 touchdowns last year is not a plan. That’s just allowing your environment to dictate your actions. It’s time to make a move.

The Patriots Have No Shot at Deshaun Watson. I’d Still Trade Everything But the Kitchen Sink For Him

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In what has been the absolutely worst kept secret, Deshaun Watson and the Texans appear to be done as the Pro Bowl QB has officially requested a trade. I mean what did the Texans expect? They continuously bungled personnel and front office decisions and then tell their best player they’ll include him in decisions such as the hiring of the next GM. And then they hire Nick Caserio, who despite the past interest between both sides is someone who wasn’t actually on the list of the candidates their highly publicized search committee put together. Even worse, the move came at the behest of Petyr Baelish AKA Jack Easterby himself. I wrote about how bad things had gotten with Easterby in the fold last month and then Sports Illustrated wrote their second hit piece in just over a month absolutely demolishing the guy. Then the team tells Watson they’ll include him in the process of hiring the next head coach. And they completely ignore Watson’s request to interview Chiefs innovative Offensive Coordinator Eric Bieniemy, only interviewing him after it came out how pissed the QB was. A terrible look. So last night the Texans hire 65-year-old David Culley who’s never been an Offensive Coordinator in the NFL. Then this morning Schefty was promptly announcing Watson’s trade request to make it all official.

Deshaun Watson at this point:

So Watson is going to get traded it’s just a matter of where and how much will it cost. Trading for a 3x Pro Bowl QB who is coming off an MVP caliber season and is still just 25-years-old is going to get EXPENSIVE.

But would you rather the Patriots try and find their next QB in the draft? With the departure of Caserio, who was Belichick’s right hand man in football ops and scouting for the last several years, I am even less confident in the Patriots finding elite talent. Now in the next breath it must be addressed that Caserio did in fact go to run the show in Houston where he is seemingly going to have to trade the best QB in franchise history as his first move. So does that familiarity between the two sides work in their favor or does it immediately kneecap the Patriots’ chances because Caserio doesn’t want to look like he’s doing his old boss a favor?

Another aspect to consider is Watson has a full no-trade clause, which is pretty rare in the NFL, so it will require not only making the trade but convincing the player too. This ain’t three years ago. New England isn’t exactly an enticing place for a player to join these days. With no tight ends to speak of and a receiver core that ranges from undrafted overachiever to first round bust, why would Deshaun want to come here? It’s basically the same situation he’s currently in.

Except the coach and the owner.

That’s their only shot. After years in the clown show that is Houston, he could come in and play for the best coach in the history of the game. Maybe, as was mentioned in that same SI article, Watson really, genuinely longs for a winning culture like he had back in Clemson. Well if that’s true, there is no better place than New England. Just a couple of years removed from their last Super Bowl win and actively looking for the next young guy to take the mantle of the most successful team in NFL history, with a Hall of Fame coach, and a well respected and beloved owner. That could be enticing to Deshaun Watson.

Now of course this all assumes the Jets, the Dolphins, or even the Jaguars don’t value Watson as much as I do and bow out of throwing a bunch of first rounders at Houston. Because the offers those teams can make would blow the Pats out of the water. Granted the Patriots are sitting at No. 15 and are unlikely to have any (according to draft “experts”) elite franchise QBs fall to them so I’m more than willing to trade that pick. But if you’re the Patriots you just got punched in the head with the reminder that if you don’t have an elite QB you are cooked right out of the gate. After 20 years of consistent play from a first ballot Hall of Famer under center it’s easy to forget that not every team has been so fortunate. So if you’re Belichick you should be calling the Texans right now telling them pick what you want and send over the paper work. Whether that’s 3 or even 4 first rounders I’m doing that 100% of the time. A franchise QB is just that valuable and yes the Pats need to fill some holes around the player, but thats something you worry about after bringing him in. With a ton of cap space to work with they could find a Tight End and a Receiver to fill things out alongside Watson pretty quick.

Realistically there’s not really any chance of landing Deshaun Watson so I’m just kind of daydreaming right now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’d trade everything but the kitchen sink for him. Hell, throw that in there too.

Julian Edelman is NOT Retiring. Here’s the Top 3 Key Factors

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There has been rampant speculation the last week or so that Julian Edelman may be calling it a career after a rather innocuous tweet, but hey the Patriots aren’t playing in January for the first time in forever so people are bored and reading more into things than they normally would. Despite missing the last 10 games of the season due to knee surgery, Edelman came out today and squashed any rumors of him retiring just yet. If you’ve been paying attention over the last decade or so, it’s hard to imagine him going out on Injured Reserve. With that being said, that time is coming sooner than later, so let’s take a look at some of the key factors that led to his return.

1.) Edelman has 1 year left on his contract

Despite being beat to all hell over the years, the guy just loves to ball. So with at least one year left where a team wants him to play football for them, I can’t see Edelman saying no to that. Whether he probably should retire or not with his long term health in mind is a different question. I know he’s pretty far behind Stanley Morgan in terms of Touchdowns and Receiving Yards (and games played), but with his 3 Super Bowl rings, his reliability on the field, his Jerry Rice-esque playoff stats, and his laundry list of clutch plays, Edelman is already the greatest receiver in Patriots history if you ask me. He’s also only 52 receptions behind Wes Welker for the all-time Patriots record so that could factor into him playing another season or two.

2.) Does Edelman want to retire a Patriot or rejoin Tom Brady?

In what seems to be a popular move these days a lot of former Patriots are finding their way down to Tampa. Whether thats through a pseudo-retirement like Gronk, which still doesn’t sit well with me, or even guys who only had a cup of coffee, albeit a wildly successful cup, with the Pats like Antonio Brown. There’s also speculation that more could join him like impending free agent James White, who would be an oh so perfect fit in Tampa. So with Edelman announcing he’ll be back that would seem to confirm he’s not going to try and force his way out of town to rejoin Tom in Florida. Now if he’s healthy and Tom is still playing, he could link up with him after *next* season, but those are two big ifs. Mostly because Edelman’s health is never a certainty, but also because Brady only signed a 2-year contract so he could actually, finally, be retired at that point.

But I think this is missing the entire point.

While Julian Edelman clearly reveres Tom Brady, people seem to forget how much he genuinely loves playing for Bill Belichick. If you’ve seen Edelman’s documentary or read any of his life story then you know Edelman’s dad was a Hall of Fame hard ass who worked Jules’ to the bone growing up and helped mold him into the guy he is today. And I genuinely believe that is something that Edelman not only appreciates, but he craves it. Not to mention Belichick is the only guy that gave Edelman a shot coming out of college and again putting him in a position to succeed in the NFL.

Plus few people have embraced living in Boston more than Edelman has. The guy still lives in the Back Bay, rides his skateboard around town, and is known to pop into random spots like Hojoko in Fenway for a burger. So yes the Pats were a dumpster fire last year while the Bucs are still playing for a Super Bowl berth, but with everything I just rattled off I truly think Edelman wants to retire as a Patriot.

3.) Slot Receiver History

Edelman will be 35 before the start of training camp with 11 seasons already under his belt and a litany of injuries over the years, but I can’t imagine a guy with a self produced documentary called “100%” and a biography called “Relentless” wanting to go out this way. Keep in mind, statistically he had literally his best game EVER in Week 2 against Seattle going off for 8 catches and 179 yards before nagging injuries caught up to him and the wheels fell off the Cam Newton experiment. So as of just a few months ago he still had elite production. However he is already past the expiration date we see on just about every slot receiver, who all take an inhumane level of abuse throughout their careers. Wes Welker retired at the age of 34, but had his last 50+ reception season at 32. The Jets’ all-time slot guy Wayne Chrebet retired at the age of 32. Troy Brown is probably the best Edelman comparison at this point as he caught his last pass at the age of 35 when he had 43 receptions for 384 yards and 4 Touchdowns. Obviously the talent devoid Patriots will need more from a 35-year-old Edelman than 43/384/4 if they’re going to be successful, but thats the measuring stick for 35-year-old slot receivers. Clearly it’s not fair to expect 100 receptions from a guy going into his 12 season, but that just goes to show you the situation the Pats have put themselves in with poor personnel moves (trading a 2nd for Mohamed Sanu) and even worst drafting (1st round WR N’Keal Harry).

While I have no idea if Belichick will do what I hope he does and execute Order 66 this offseason to get the Patriots back to where they need to be, I am glad we get to watch at least one more year of Julian Edelman.

The Patriots Could Be in for a Bit of Rebuild…

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This really has just been a disaster of a season. The Patriots just got dunked on by the Buffalo Bills after going 29-3 against them between 2001-2019 with Tom Brady under center. It was a blowout, it was a changing of the guard, but to say it was embarrassing would imply that the end result was surprising. It was not. In the infamous words of Trent Dilfer, the Patriots aren’t good anymore. It’s the first time the Patriots have been swept in a season by a divisional opponent in 20 years, they are dead last in the NFL in passing TDs with 8 (one of which came from WR Jakobi Meyers), and the team is uncharacteristically undisciplined, which was only exacerbated by that head scratching challenge flag Belichick threw on what was clearly a catch directly in front of him and his son.

Someone clearly told Bill to throw the red flag though so Ernie must be going blind up in that fucking lighthouse.

The Jets Gave Up On Le’Veon Bell. Are the Patriots Interested in the Former All-Pro?

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ESPN – The New York Jets’ rocky relationship with Le’Veon Bell came to an abrupt end Tuesday when the team announced it had released the running back.

The move concluded a 19-month tenure that was filled with disappointment and broken promises. Bell, who arrived as a marquee free agent in 2019, never clicked with coach Adam Gase, who opposed the signing from the outset.

That Jets contract (4 years $52.5 million) was a disaster from Day 1, but imagine picking Adam Gase over Le’Veon Bell?? It’s hard to tell if after 1 year + 4 games in New York if he is already washed up or if the Jets are just sucking the life out of him. I mean he’s only 28 years old, granted it’s an old 28 considering his monumental workload at Michigan State. But you’d have to think he still has a couple good years left in him. Adam Gase, the offensive guru responsible for (read: worked in the same building as) Peyton Manning’s record setting 56 TD season in Denver, has now traded, released, and generally made the Jets’ best players worse. All-Pro Jamal Adams. Former All-Pro Le’Veon Bell. First Round QB Sam Darnold. All three were seemingly key building blocks for a rebuilding team. Two of them are now gone and Darnold, despite flashes of the potential that made him the third overall pick two years ago, looks to be stuck in neutral.

So Patriots fans do you want Le’Veon Bell? He officially becomes a free agent at 4 pm on Wednesday. It’s basically become a cliche around here to say the Pats are in on Veteran X whether it’s Calvin Johnson, or Larry Fitzgerald, or AJ Green. The Pats are in on all of these guys and then nothing happens. Now the Pats are rumored to be in on Le’Veon Bell. Except, this time it’s the Jets. The Jets bought HIGH on Bell and sold LOW, getting absolutely nothing in return and releasing the former All-Pro running back. The Patriots absolutely do not need another running back with James White, Damien Harris, Rex Burkhead, and eventually Sony Michel already in the mix. But Bill Belichick is nothing if not a man who enjoys stomping on the graves of his enemies. I cannot even imagine the size of the grin on Belichick’s face as he thinks about picking the latest failed experiment of his rival off the scrap heap and turning him into a weapon for the Patriots as they fight for another Super Bowl title.

The Pats absolutely do not need him, but there are few teams out there that could utilize Bell better than New England. Now let’s look at Bell’s side of it. He legit sat out an entire season in Pittsburgh because he wanted a new deal and didn’t want to risk blowing out his knee right before his one big pay day.

Like LeBron or Sebastian, high school graduates
Straight to the league, I ain’t waitin’ for my knee to blow
Yesterday I was needin’ this dough

Then he signs a gargantuan contract with New York to be their bellcow back and take the Jets back to prominence. Only for the new head coach in town, aforementioned offensive guru and recently fired Dolphins coach Adam Gase, to immediately shit all over the move.

Hows that for a welcoming party? Bell drastically underperformed and battled injuries, but even when he was healthy the team around him was getting worse and the rift between him and the head coach was getting wider. You think that guy is motivated at all to stick it to his former boss?

What better way than to sign on with their biggest rival and beat the Jets’ brains in and win a ring in New England? It’s a win win for both sides as Bell signs on with a competent team that will utilize his talents, reestablishes his value, and helps him try to get that elusive Super Bowl ring before signing another big deal somewhere else this offseason. It’s the playbook that Darrelle Revis and Trent Brown perfected in recent years.

Not to mention that every player we thought was a bum while playing for Gase has THRIVED since getting away from him. Just look at Ryan Tannehill. Under Joe Philbin for the first three years of his career in Miami, Tannehill improved every. single. year. Touchdowns, Yards, Yards per Game, Completion Percentage, Quarterback Rating, even his total Rushing Yards ALL improved every single year. Enter Adam Gase. Tannehill played a mixed bag of two seasons under Gase (he missed 2017 due to injury) as the Dolphins floundered and the coach publicly threw his QB under the bus. Both got 86’d by the Dolphins as Gase went on to do Gase things in New York, while Tannehill won Comeback Player of the Year with the Titans.

And don’t even get me started on Kenyan Drake. After 3+ seasons in Miami where Drake failed to top 644 rushing yards in a year, Drake rushed for 633 yards in 8 games with the Cardinals last year. After never rushing for more than 4 touchdowns in Miami, Drake rushed for 8 touchdowns in 8 games in Arizona last year. Drake is also more than DOUBLING his yards per game in Arizona compared to Miami as he has turned into a stud away from Adam Gase.

These turnarounds from Tannehill and Drake post-Gase legitimately offend me as a football fan. The clock is ticking on that man’s head coaching career as the Jets continue to be the worst team in football.

He’ll probably latch on somewhere else pretty quickly because the NFL is incestuous with former coaches just being recycled all across the league, but if I’m running the Jets the next move I make is the same Gase made with Le’Veon Bell, send him packing.

49ers Coach Wes Welker Tells the Story of Belichick Suspending Him for Rex Ryan Foot Jokes in 2011

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Man, I miss Wes Welker. It’s easy to kind of forget when you don’t see someone all that often. He’s not a huge social media users and he’s not a media personality so the only time I ever really hear from Wes is on those Dr. Leonard hair commercials. (Lettuce looks great by the way, Wes) So to hear him tell this story from his perspective 9 years later is hilariously awkward. Not to mention, a bit of shade thrown at Belichick there! And in case you forgot the bizarre yet legendary Rex Ryan foot joke press conference, here it is in all it’s glory.

Last Night I Had to Root for the Jets. I Don’t Know How People Do This

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With the prospect of falling to 0-2 staring me dead in the face, I needed an extremely reasonable 8 points from Jamison Crowder to win my fantasy football matchup. For a guy that had 17 targets and 17 points in Week 1 that seemed pretty reasonable, except for the fact the guy that gave him all those targets was out with MONO. I’m not here to slut shame anyone, but you really put me in a shitty spot, Sam.

So with that being said I was tasked with watching the entire Jets game AND rooting for a backup QB to feed my guy. Naturally Crowder had a huge catch called back on a penalty and Trevor Siemian failed to impress all night. At least he was a guy with a few years in the league and 20+ starts under his belt though; that gave me hope for a touchdown pass. Welp, once he broke (probably) his ankle I was then forced to root for a 2nd year THIRD string QB in Luke Faulk who is apparently Chad Pennington reincarnated.

Meanwhile the “offensive guru” (Booger McFarland’s words not mine) Adam Gase just set football back about 50 years as he refused to call a play that didn’t involve Le’Veon Bell running the ball or Le’Veon Bell catching a screenpass at the line of scrimmage. The Jets apparently punted on the entire concept of the forward pass last night and were appropriately rewarded with a 3 point performance.

My guy Crowder? The guy I needed 8 points from? Yea he got 6.

HOW DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE THIS WAY??

PS – My other option was Kenyan Drake, the running back from the Dolphins that just got shutout 43-0 so no that wasn’t an option.

Oooo Sammy, Sammy, Sammy (Darnold)

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A tale as old as time. As a star athlete, Sam Darnold probably has his pick of the litter in terms of females in and around the Met-NY area. And those females converging on said star athlete probably don’t only converge around only one. So the star athlete took a bite from an apple that happened to be poisonous and unfortunately, is now paying the price.

Sam Darnold has contracted the ol’ mono, which I thought only affected folks between the age of 14-20 as they’re more inclined to rambunctiously make out with each other, and is out for his upcoming showdown with Baker Mayfield and the Browns. And I know what you’re thinking, “this isn’t the only way you can contract mono.” And that’s true. However I doubt a millionaire professional athlete is in the habit of participating in other such activities such as sharing drinks. Imagine this scene:

Le’Veon: Hey Sam, the pumpkin spice lattes are on point this year, have a sip.
Sam Darnold: Wow, thanks man! Yum!

Ya, I don’t see it happening either. Darnold went and got himself mixed up with the wrong hoochie mama and now is going to miss a game or two. Hey, you live you learn. And it’s not like the Jets look like world beaters this year so wasting a Darnold-less game against Cleveland aint the end of the world.

Feel better Sam. And make better choices.

-Joey B.