Oooo Sammy, Sammy, Sammy (Darnold)

A tale as old as time. As a star athlete, Sam Darnold probably has his pick of the litter in terms of females in and around the Met-NY area. And those females converging on said star athlete probably don’t only converge around only one. So the star athlete took a bite from an apple that happened to be poisonous and unfortunately, is now paying the price.

Sam Darnold has contracted the ol’ mono, which I thought only affected folks between the age of 14-20 as they’re more inclined to rambunctiously make out with each other, and is out for his upcoming showdown with Baker Mayfield and the Browns. And I know what you’re thinking, “this isn’t the only way you can contract mono.” And that’s true. However I doubt a millionaire professional athlete is in the habit of participating in other such activities such as sharing drinks. Imagine this scene:

Le’Veon: Hey Sam, the pumpkin spice lattes are on point this year, have a sip.
Sam Darnold: Wow, thanks man! Yum!

Ya, I don’t see it happening either. Darnold went and got himself mixed up with the wrong hoochie mama and now is going to miss a game or two. Hey, you live you learn. And it’s not like the Jets look like world beaters this year so wasting a Darnold-less game against Cleveland aint the end of the world.

Feel better Sam. And make better choices.

-Joey B.


About Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody. Views from the 617. Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.
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