A tale as old as time. As a star athlete, Sam Darnold probably has his pick of the litter in terms of females in and around the Met-NY area. And those females converging on said star athlete probably don’t only converge around only one. So the star athlete took a bite from an apple that happened to be poisonous and unfortunately, is now paying the price.

Sam Darnold has contracted the ol’ mono, which I thought only affected folks between the age of 14-20 as they’re more inclined to rambunctiously make out with each other, and is out for his upcoming showdown with Baker Mayfield and the Browns. And I know what you’re thinking, “this isn’t the only way you can contract mono.” And that’s true. However I doubt a millionaire professional athlete is in the habit of participating in other such activities such as sharing drinks. Imagine this scene:

Le’Veon: Hey Sam, the pumpkin spice lattes are on point this year, have a sip.
Sam Darnold: Wow, thanks man! Yum!

Ya, I don’t see it happening either. Darnold went and got himself mixed up with the wrong hoochie mama and now is going to miss a game or two. Hey, you live you learn. And it’s not like the Jets look like world beaters this year so wasting a Darnold-less game against Cleveland aint the end of the world.

Feel better Sam. And make better choices.

-Joey B.