Tag: Larry Fitzgerald

The 300s Bloggers’ WEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 8

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So I know this is a fantasy FOOTBALL blog but fuck me if I’m not going to again mention my, and your, 2018 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. Champagne for everyone. (No, I’m not adding that stupid fucking hashtag because I’m not 12. Carry on.)

Lots going on this week in the NFL. Trade deadline is set for 4:00pm EST today and there are a ton of names that could move, both stemming from general disgruntlement (actually is a word) and teams in complete disarray that might as well have a yard sale to get ready for the future.

Speaking of disarray, let’s see how we all did this week.

Joey B (Completely Incompetent)

I got paved again which was not fun. This was highlighted by C.J Uzomah dropping  a goose egg and Sammy Watkins lit it up on my bench while watching his counterpart, Devin Funchess, do dick on the field. I still managed about 110 pts though, which isn’t awful for a loss. We’re trending.

Papa G (Bill and Mets fan)

Got absolutely thrashed this week. 0-3 across all my leagues. That bum RB on New England did nothing for me and I’m still down 3 or 4 starters. Dalvin Cook and Leonard Fournette better come back soon or this is going to go off the rails quickly. I’m a fringe playoff team in all my leagues and I need someone to step up to the plate quickly. Thank god for James Conner, that’s really all I have to say.

 

Red (Drives to New Hampshire for wine)

I don’t often make good decisions in fantasy football, but when I do I like to peacock. Chris Carson has been riding my bench all year, but I threw him in my lineup and he rewarded me with 22 points in a week where I was without Ezekiel Elliott. Also shoutout to Mattes for giving me this opportunity. With a win against him this week, its kept me at .500 and while not clinically dead, my team is still on life support with an outside shot at the playoffs. Mattes has since changed his team name to BYE WEEK so I’m sure he was thrilled with his players’ effort. 

Big Z (Don’t know much about the guy, may not exist)

No complaints from me. I rolled up a league-high 126 points this week. I guess I could have had a a few extra points had I played Christian McCaffrey instead of James White, or pretty much anyone instead of Devin Funchess, but that’s small potatoes. I’m now in second place in my league despite being 8th in total points. Must be my “defense.”

Things are definitely looking up for the Big Z Fantasy Empire

 

Mattes (Possible addition to chicken wings)

1-7…ONE AND FREAKIN’ SEVEN. I have NEVER suffered through such a miserable season, or even come close. The sad part is I thought I had a pretty good chance to win this week, but Red had Davante Adams and a resurgent Larry Fitz go H.A.M. for him on Sunday. Getting a goose egg from your tight end doesn’t help either. This just sucks.

Lost in my other league as well, falling to .500 on the year. DJ didn’t have the breakout game I was hoping for now that he has a competent offensive coordinator calling plays. I also had to stream C.J. Beathard this week with Rivers on a bye. (It’s a two-QB league; the only other option on the wire was Brock Osweiler, so don’t judge.) Also, O.J. Howard and Tarik Cohen, both of whom I somehow picked up just two weeks ago, continue be awesome. This team’s doing OK. At least I got something to still give a shit about.

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

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Hi Friends.

Week 2 is now in the books and I’d say we are one week away from really seeing what our squads “are”? Don’t you love those questions and answers? “We still don’t know what Jimmy G is.” “We will find out tonight what these 2008 *insert team here* are? But ya, horribly hard to be a T.V analyst.

To go along with Week 2 we have our second addition of the recap of how our bloggers did in their respective league(s). As with Week 1, every blogger has submitted a small blurb on their successes and failures. Let’s get to it…


Papa Giorgio

Well, I got absolutely shellacked this weekend. 0-3 across all my leagues. Fournette being out did not help in the slightest. It will be interesting to see how Josh Gordon does for me now that he’s been traded to the Patriots. I have him in two leagues and if the guy can get healthy and live up to his potential my teams should be able to get back on track in the quest for some titles. Otherwise, if things continue to go south I may have to pull a Vontae Davis and get the hell out of Dodge. 

(Joey B Note: Something about a Bill’s fan drafting the most volatile player possibly in league history makes me happy.)


Big Z

Fantasy football is a prime example of where it is better to be lucky than good. I was thisclose to dropping Chris Hogan in favor of Phillip Dorsett this week. I ultimately decided against streaming my WR/TE flex position and stuck with Hogan after a lackluster Week 1. At halftime it looked like they would both post underwhelming Week 2 numbers, but I was rewarded with two late TDs by Hogan. Thank god.

As I’ve written before, defense should be taken out of fantasy football. Until that happens, though, I will continue to stream defenses in fantasy football. This week I dropped Green Bay to pick up New England. Whoops! Thankfully the move only cost me eight points. After an early defensive touchdown by Green Bay it looked like it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

Up 89-88 going into Monday night, my opponent was done and I only had Russell Wilson left. I thought about benching him, but when’s the last time a QB got negative points? I don’t know, but Wilson made me sweat it out, turning the ball over a few times in the second half. A garbage-time TD put me at the century mark, though, and cemented my Week 2 W.

So with a Brandin Cooks, Christian McCaffrey and a little luck, the Big Z Fantasy Empire is on the board in 2018.


Red

(Joey B’s Note: This first sentence is laugh out loud funny. This is the beauty of fantasy: you can taste the bitterness)

If I have any piece of advice from another dogshit start to my fantasy season it’s this; stick to the guys you drafted as long as you can. After a disastrous 4 INT game in Week 1, I benched Matt Stafford for Jimmy G and Stafford went off for 32 points compared to Garoppolo’s 20. Naturally I lost by just a hair under 12 points this week.

I also lost in my other league wasting a 27 point, 14 catch, 100 yard performance from Christian McCaffrey. So all in all I am a combined 0-4 to start the fantasy season. Oh and I bet the Patriots to cover on Sunday while I was down in the great state of NJ and obviously lost that bet. So my gambling advice is radioactive right now. Stay away.


Joey B

The bitch of fantasy football is that sometimes what happens in real-life outweighs fantasy. In this case, Gronk having a bad day fantasy-wise was not nearly as bad as that Patriots game overall. I still not only won but had high score thanks to, in part, another MONNNSTER game from Michael Thomas. Still, seeing that 2 points (or so) from Gronk and what it really represented hurt.


Mattes

If it weren’t for O.J. Howard benefitting from even more FitzMagic this week, it would have been a SAD day for the Purple Cobras. Granted, I did leave over 65 points on the bench this week, which included three guys with over 17-plus points each, each of whose performance would have been better than the four-point abomination I got from Ryan Grant in my flex. (Hey! He had nine targets in Week 1!) But alas, it would not have mattered anyway, as my opponent was the league’s high-scorer this week. Fortunately, those bench guys look like they could be forces moving forward, so hopefully I can start to right the ship in Week 3 after a rough (but not insurmountable!) 0-2 start.

As far as my other league goes, I was able to pull out a two-point victory thanks in large part to Captain Kirk Cousins, who went absolute H.A.M. sandwich in Green Bay on Sunday. Pairing him up with Philip Rivers in a two-QB league proved to be quite the boon this week. Michael Thomas also continues to be a PPR juggernaut, and the fact that Chris Carson didn’t get a carry in the second half killed any chance my opponent had of winning going into what was looking like a very advantageous Monday night scenario for him. If David Johnson, Larry Fitz, and the Cardinals offense ever wakes the hell up, I’d be feeling pretty damn good about this squad. I’ll take a 1-1 start for now.

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 1

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Hey Everybody,

So I am going to start posting this every week. An opportunity for you the reader  to both revel and commiserate with your favorite (Me, maybe Big Z) or least favorite (Bills Fan) 300s blogger. So without further or do……….

Papa Giorgio
(Joey B’s Note: PG’s starting quarterback IRL is Nathan Peterman)

“Two words: Total Domination. Was it easy? No. Did I almost throw up blood when Aaron Rodgers was carted off the field with a knee injury? You betcha! Someone I managed to come out of week one 3-0 in all my leagues combined. As someone who does not take fantasy football too seriously, it was a nice start to what inevitably will be a horrifying, disastrous finish.”

Big Z

“I kept Le’Veon Bell in My keeper league. I picked up James Conner as his handcuff, but played Devonta Freeman instead in Week 1. Figured Pittsburgh had lots of other weapons, and might not lean too heavily on the second year player. Conner outscored Freeman by a cool 28 points, as I lost my Week 1 matchup by 12.”

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Joey B

I had a solid, straightforward week 1 win. I only do one team because I honestly just can’t keep track of more than one. Team-wise, I grabbed Gronk in the first because it’s smart and I picked up/started James Connor because the Steelers have relied heavily on the run since Lincoln still had the back of his head. The only thing grinding my gears a bit is that I lost out on the league high score for the week because rather than having even an underwhelming, sub-average game Matthew Stafford shat the bed completely. Oh well, 1-0.

Now we get to the absolute novels written by Red and MATTES GOOOODDDAMN. Asked these guys for a blurb on their fantasy football week and I got Will Hunting’s thesis on the market economy in the southern colonies.

Red

“Ya know, I was initially pretty upset about accidentally drafting Matt Stafford in the 8th round because time ran out on my pick, but now? Well now I’m fucking furious. Thats what I get for playing chicken with the Yahoo fantasy football draft pick timer.

I won a fantasy league I was in with Donovan McNabb as my QB that I picked up in like the 15th round. It was his last year in Philly and his last year as a productive NFL starter, which was perfect for me. Drafting a QB late has been my template ever since. Welp, not this year.

Sure you could attribute my opening day loss to lack of preparation (I didn’t buy an $11 draft magazine this year) or the fact that I continue to rely on Seahawks running backs not named Marshawn Lynch prior to 2015, but I prefer to point out that Matthew Stafford threw 4 picks in the same week Alvin Kamara dropped 38 points on me.

Here’s to hoping Sam Darnold continues to do just what I had hoped and throw the ball to my sleeper pick, Quincy Enunwa, more than anyone else on the Jets. Quincy had 10 targets last night compared to 11 for the rest of the team combined.

On my bench, of course.

Goddamnit, why do I play this game?”

 

Mattes

“I tell ya, it really sucks to be 0-2 after just one week of football. BOTH sqauds lost this weekend, and neither matchup was close in either league. Even worse is the fact I was expected to be the week’s high-scorer in my full-point PPR league – with guys like Larry Fitz, Michael Thomas, David Johnson, and Jarvis Landy – but only two of those guys actually showed up. There was a few fleeting minutes of hope in my matchup against our very own Papa Giorgio, when Aaron Rodgers looked like he was about to be placed on the shelf for the second straight season. But alas, the legend came back and put up another THIRTY-TWO points to crush my Week 1 dreams. Although, with Amari Cooper putting up two whole points on Monday night, maybe it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It also didn’t help to have the Saints defense in both leagues, who fell victim to some serious FitzMagic and blew chunks in their home opener. In one league, the got me -4, and the other they got me -8.

So I literally would’ve been better off not even starting a D/ST this week. COOL. I did have one particular Saints player, though, who went absolutely BANANAS, catching 16 balls for 180 yards and a score; his name is Michael Thomas, as previously mentioned, and I’m glad I snagged him for the second year in a row. Jordan Howard and Carlos Hyde look like a decent back pairing in one league, but David Johnson and Alex Collins didn’t live up to expectations in the other. Hopefully Kerryon Johnson, my sneaky pick for Rookie of the Year, takes the job away from a hopefully-washed-up LeGarrette Blount and serves as a solid No. 3 behind Howard and Hyde. And if Rex Burkhead ends up being the Patriots offensive MVP, as I predicted in the Pats preview podcast, I could be OK in my other league, too. Russell Wilson also proved he’s matchup-proof, putting up over 30 against a nasty Broncos D. Philip Rivers and Kirk Cousins look like a solid pairing in my two-QB league as well, so I’m not getting too down after the first week. It can only go up from here…right?”

Tom Brady to Grace the Cover of Madden 2018 at 40 Years Old

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Alright now…how to react to this news?

A younger version of myself would freak out at the prospect of my franchise quarterback appearing on the cover of Madden because dudes used to routinely get injured after landing the cover. But TB12 put that to rest real quick with a few simple demonstrations.

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTomBrady%2Fvideos%2F1560009470706864%2F&show_text=0&width=560

Smashed mirror? No problem? Walk under a ladder? Get that shit out of my face.

Lets get scientific about it though and break it down year by year, going back an arbitrary number of years because Madden 03 was the first Madden I actually had. On the PC no less. You ever try running go routes on a 12 inch computer screen? Holy hell, but I digress. Onto the list, with some help from Digital Trends.

  • 2003: Marshall Faulk has one of his worst years ever and its the beginning of the end of his career.
    • CURSE: In full effect
  • 2004: Michael Vick fractures his fibula and misses the first 11 games of the season
    • CURSE: 100%
  • 2005: Ray Lewis has a down year, but nothing curse worthy…he did tear his hamstring the following year though.
    • CURSE: Meh
  • 2006: Donovan McNabb was plagued by a groin injury before tearing his ACL later in the year.
    • CURSE: You bet
  • 2007: Shaun Alexander broke his foot in Week 3 that season.
    • CURSE: Prevails once again
  • 2008: Vince Young was plagued by quad injuries all year before being replaced by KERRY COLLINS.
    • CURSE: Continues to cruise
  • 2009: Brett Favre played pretty well actually before injuring his shoulder down the stretch and tanking his (and the Jets) effectiveness.
    • CURSE: Yea, not even including Brett’s cell phone pic troubles
  • 2010: Larry Fitzgerald/Troy Polamalu – Fitz actually had a career year, but Polamalu injured his MCL, missed a month and then eventually injured his PCL as well.
    • CURSE: 50/50 split but still yes
  • 2011: Drew Brees stayed healthy but threw twice as many picks as the year prior and the Saints lost to the first team to ever make the playoffs with a losing record in Seattle that year.
    • CURSE: Not reallyyy
  • 2012: Peyton Hillis came out of nowhere to have a huge year to land the cover of Madden only to battle illness and hamstring issues all season. Rushed for under 600 yards, the Browns let him walk after the season and that was a wrap on Hillis’ career.
    • CURSE: Yup, you sunk my battleship
  • 2013: Calvin Johnson set the single season record for receiving yards soo he did alright.
    • CURSE: Nope, Megatron shatters it
  • 2014: Adrian Peterson battled through a foot injury all year long and the Vikings only won 10 games.
    • CURSE: Yessir
  • 2015: Richard Sherman had a great season and stayed healthy…but they did lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
    • CURSE: Nah, but we did get this legendary GIF out of Sherman’s season 

  • 2016: Odell Beckham Jr. has 1,400+ receiving yards and 13 TDs and is named to this second consecutive Pro Bowl.
    • CURSE: No shot
  • 2017: Rob Gronkowski played only 8 games last season as missed the first game of the year with a hamstring injury, then got on a roll, but ultimately hurt his back in Week 7 against Seattle and missed the rest of the season.
    • CURSE: Put the smackdown on Gronk

So by my scientific count, that makes 10 instances of the Madden Curse wrecking a guy’s season since Madden 2003.

But, hey this is Tom Brady we’re talking about. The 5 time Super Bowl champ who continues to get better like a goddamn fine wine. As long as he’s go his avocado ice cream and his shady health guru Alex Guerrero and his TB12 voodoo magic, I think Brady will continue to roll. You think the Madden Curse and mother nature can stop this specimen?

I think not.

PS – If something does happen to Tom this year I am going to go full Brian Mills on everyone that has ever worked at EA Sports.