Michael Vick in Madden 2004 is the most dominant character in video game history. He was more dominant than Bo Jackson in TECMO, more dominant than Mike Tyson in Punch-Out, I would even argue he was more dominant than the Water Temple. Oddjob from 007? Kick rocks.
Just look at the dude’s stats from that year’s Madden:
Overall – 95
Speed – 95
Agility – 95
Acceleration – 94
Awareness – 80
Throw Power – 97
Throw Accuracy – 84
Absolutely outrageous, good luck stopping that. I know my brother and I smashed many a PS2 clickers trying to contain No. 7. So for Mike Vick to have that Madden cover from FOURTEEN years ago as his Instagram profile pic to this day is the ultimate flex. Just has to remind people that he was absolutely unstoppable and the GOAT video game character. If only he could have sat down and actually studied film and not murdered dogs like a complete sociopath scumbag then he could have been the greatest of all time in real life too.
A younger version of myself would freak out at the prospect of my franchise quarterback appearing on the cover of Madden because dudes used to routinely get injured after landing the cover. But TB12 put that to rest real quick with a few simple demonstrations.
Smashed mirror? No problem? Walk under a ladder? Get that shit out of my face.
Lets get scientific about it though and break it down year by year, going back an arbitrary number of years because Madden 03 was the first Madden I actually had. On the PC no less. You ever try running go routes on a 12 inch computer screen? Holy hell, but I digress. Onto the list, with some help from Digital Trends.
2003: Marshall Faulk has one of his worst years ever and its the beginning of the end of his career.
CURSE: In full effect
2004: Michael Vick fractures his fibula and misses the first 11 games of the season
CURSE: 100%
2005: Ray Lewis has a down year, but nothing curse worthy…he did tear his hamstring the following year though.
CURSE: Meh
2006: Donovan McNabb was plagued by a groin injury before tearing his ACL later in the year.
CURSE: You bet
2007: Shaun Alexander broke his foot in Week 3 that season.
CURSE: Prevails once again
2008: Vince Young was plagued by quad injuries all year before being replaced by KERRY COLLINS.
CURSE: Continues to cruise
2009: Brett Favre played pretty well actually before injuring his shoulder down the stretch and tanking his (and the Jets) effectiveness.
CURSE: Yea, not even including Brett’s cell phone pic troubles
2010: Larry Fitzgerald/Troy Polamalu – Fitz actually had a career year, but Polamalu injured his MCL, missed a month and then eventually injured his PCL as well.
CURSE: 50/50 split but still yes
2011: Drew Brees stayed healthy but threw twice as many picks as the year prior and the Saints lost to the first team to ever make the playoffs with a losing record in Seattle that year.
CURSE: Not reallyyy
2012: Peyton Hillis came out of nowhere to have a huge year to land the cover of Madden only to battle illness and hamstring issues all season. Rushed for under 600 yards, the Browns let him walk after the season and that was a wrap on Hillis’ career.
CURSE: Yup, you sunk my battleship
2013: Calvin Johnson set the single season record for receiving yards soo he did alright.
CURSE: Nope, Megatron shatters it
2014: Adrian Peterson battled through a foot injury all year long and the Vikings only won 10 games.
CURSE: Yessir
2015: Richard Sherman had a great season and stayed healthy…but they did lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
CURSE: Nah, but we did get this legendary GIF out of Sherman’s season
2016: Odell Beckham Jr. has 1,400+ receiving yards and 13 TDs and is named to this second consecutive Pro Bowl.
CURSE: No shot
2017: Rob Gronkowski played only 8 games last season as missed the first game of the year with a hamstring injury, then got on a roll, but ultimately hurt his back in Week 7 against Seattle and missed the rest of the season.
CURSE: Put the smackdown on Gronk
So by my scientific count, that makes 10 instances of the Madden Curse wrecking a guy’s season since Madden 2003.
But, hey this is Tom Brady we’re talking about. The 5 time Super Bowl champ who continues to get better like a goddamn fine wine. As long as he’s go his avocado ice cream and his shady health guru Alex Guerrero and his TB12 voodoo magic, I think Brady will continue to roll. You think the Madden Curse and mother nature can stop this specimen?
I think not.
PS – If something does happen to Tom this year I am going to go full Brian Mills on everyone that has ever worked at EA Sports.
I’ve always had a fondness for mobile QB’s who enter the league and wind up as journeymen backups and I think that probably goes back to my Madden Glory Days. Pick a team with a fast backup QB and then wreck havoc on everyone. Now keep in mind this was before the Russell Wilson/Cam Newton/Colin Kaepernick wave of QB’s entered the league. This was back when the only starting QB that could really move was Vick, which obviously got worse over time. But take the Ravens, bench Flacco’s bum ass and insert Troy Smith. Go five wide and wait until you find the edge or just destroy people with screens and slants, basically just run the Ray “Voodoo” Tatum spread offense. I had roommates firing clickers off the wall because these terrible real life QB’s just dominated in Madden. Smith, Vince Young, Tebow, even going back to Doug Flutie’s Chargers days. Overall rating of 68? As long as your Speed and Acceleration are over 75, don’t give a shit, I will take you to victory. Poor Troy Smith, we’ll always have Madden even if that NFL career didn’t pan out like I had hoped.
The 300s 