Tag: NBA

The 300s Drive Time

Don’t have time for a full podcast? Then we’ve got some bite size content for you in the first episode of Drive Time. Are the Knicks really gonna trade Porzingis? Is Danny gonna sell the farm or trade *down* again? Why is the entire NBA losing its collective mind right now? Tune in, its good for you.

Cavs Players Are Now Telling Jimmy Butler to Stay Away from the Dumpster Fire that is Cleveland

Chicago Sun Times – No stranger to organizational dysfunction, Jimmy Butler was warned Tuesday night to stay away from the Cavaliers. According to a Cleveland source close to the situation, several of the Cavaliers who had been prodding Butler to push for a trade from the Bulls the last five days were now warning him to stay away from a suddenly volatile situation.

Jesus. Christ. Cleveland, this is why you can’t have nice things. A live look at the state of the Cavaliers right now:

What a goddamn disaster. You guys were literally JUST in the NBA Finals. Sure, you got smacked down by Golden State, but you are without a doubt the second best team in the NBA. Yet somehow, the Cavs are now in complete disarray. They shitcanned the GM the *same day* he was balls deep in trade talks with other teams. Now there are rumblings that LeBron may be bolting town for Los Angeles sooner than later. Bill Simmons, who knows a thing or two about the NBA, is convinced its going to happen.

With that shit storm spiraling around, Cavs players are apparently telling Jimmy Butler to stay the hell away. The GM is out, LeBron could be gone after next year, no one knows what the hell is going on. So Butler reportedly is saying ah nevermind I’ll stay in Chicago. Butler would rather stay on a 41-win team than go to the team that just played in the NBA Finals (and the last 3 years in a row) and has arguably the best player in the world on its roster. Yeesh.

“[Kyrie] Irving has been contacting some of his former Team USA mates, letting them know that he might be willing to push for a trade, especially with the latest drama unfolding in Cleveland..Through back channels, Irving let it be known that he’d be interested in coming to Chicago.”

Oh man it is gonna be FUN watching what happens throughout the NBA today.

We Are On Porzingis Watch High Alert!

Whether its early onset dementia or Phil Jackson just hates Kristaps Porzingis with a fiery fucking passion for blowing off his end of season meeting with the Zen Master, either way Phil just went nuclear.

There is absolutely no good reason for a GM to go on TV and trash his fucking franchise player unless he’s already decided Porzingis is gone.

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So I don’t know why he’s doing it, but as everyone has said every offseason for 3 years – the Celtics have enough assets to make any trade they want as long as a player is available. Anthony Davis ain’t available so we’re not gonna pretend we’ll trade 7 first round picks to New Orleans like its 2K. Porzingis is available though, so make it happen. Don’t sell the farm, but get it done.

There’s so much smoke and disinformation out there that nobody knows what the hell is gonna happen. But I am on full alert.

The NBA Offseason is the Best in Sports and its Not Even Close

The amount of juice the NBA has provided since the season ended last week is just insane. Its been more entertaining than the NBA playoffs and even more so than the Finals. The NBA offseason is hands down the best in sports as GM’s continue to look around the league, see teams like Golden State, and just say fuck it lets reload.

In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby: “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”

I think that needs to be the new slogan of the NBA. If you’re not Golden State then your franchise might as well punt on the next 3-5 years. It sounds like a joke, BUT THATS WHAT TEAMS ARE DOING. Sure, there are teams like the Celtics who are technically within striking distance so I applaud Trader Danny’s efforts to improve this team as long as it does so without mortgaging the future. But even LeBron and the Cavs, the team thats been to the NBA Finals the last 3 years IN A ROW, seem to be panicking. Cleveland has been in talks for all the big names like Paul George and Jimmy Butler all sandwiched around kicking their own GM to the bricks.

As much as it sucks there is a goddamn Super Team standing between the Celtics and a title, I’m glad it at least gives the rest of the league the motivation to either completely blow things up and rebuild or just stockpile as many assets and big name players as possible.

It’s like the Elite Four at the end of Victory Road in Pokemon. An absolute nightmare to deal with so don’t even both walking down the road if you’re not ready. Level up, get your shit together and then go after the top dogs.

So yesterday we had Woj Bomb after Woj Bomb. Paul George told the Pacers after next season he’s out so now they’re looking to get whatever they can for PG-13. The Knicks are listening to offers for 21-year old stud Kristaps Porzingis and the Celtics are one of the teams in talks with NY. Jimmy Butler saying he’d rather not play in Cleveland so the C’s are still in on that rumor too. Dwight Howard got traded, minutes after dropping some fire jokes about NBA trades on his own Twitter account.

Then we got the Lakers trading D’Angelo Russell, the Clippers looking to deal DeAndre Jordan, all while we still have the NBA fucking Draft on Thursday night. God knows how many more trades there will be and how much more hot, hot heat Woj is going to be dropping on Twitter.

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The only one drooling more than me right now is probably Ainge. No sleep til Brooklyn.

Are the Celtics in on a Trade for Kristaps Porzingis?

So just about an hour ago, Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted out this bombshell about the Knicks and Kristaps Porzingis.

Confirming what every Knicks fan wakes up in a cold sweat worrying about every night; Phil Jackson might actually trade Porzingis. The only bright spot for that dumpster fire of a franchise is coincidentally the only good move the Zen Master has made since taking over the Knicks. And now Woj puts it out there that the Knicks aren’t ruling out dealing him. Man, if I’m a Knicks I’m probably just putting on my Carmelo Jersey and jumping off the fucking George Washington Bridge.

But that brings me back to the Celtics, who have been stockpiling assets for years, basically just waiting for a young stud to become available.

And after Danny traded the No. 1 overall pick the other night (whether you agree with the logic or not), everyone in the media seemed to agree that this looked like the first step in a series of moves Danny would make. There’s a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Is Porzingis that other shoe? Talk about a great fit for the Celtics if its true. The C’s need size. Porzingis is 7’3″. The guy is a goddamn giraffe. They also need big men who can shoot to really thrive in Brad Steven’s system. Last year KP averaged 18.1 points per game, shot 45% from the field, and 35.7% from behind the arc. Check, check and check.

Honestly, who the fuck knows what Trader Danny is ever really thinking. Does anyone doubt Danny Ainge could pull one over on this guy though?

But, I do know one thing. I am anxiously awaiting a Woj Bomb dropping. Notifications. On.

LeBron Littlefinger James Continues to Pull the Strings and Gets Cavs GM Fired

ESPN – The Cleveland Cavaliers have parted ways with general manager David Griffin, the team announced Monday. Griffin’s contract was up at the end of the month, and after extensive talks with owner Dan Gilbert, no agreement on an extension was reached..Cavs star LeBron James, who sources said was not consulted on the decision, tweeted out support of Griffin.

Jesus christ, ya drop 2 out of 3 NBA Finals and all of a sudden Cleveland is turning into a complete shitshow. Canning the GM days before the draft, while the guy is also balls deep into trade discussions just reeks of an impulse decision. Or who knows, maybe Griffin was sick of hearing shit from both ends, getting badgered by ownership and by LeBron, and just said FUCK THIS I’m out.

Either way, this is classic LeBron “I’m not the GM”  James through and through. Griffin built the second best team in the NBA and did just about everything LeBron wanted. He traded Andrew Wiggins for Kevin Love. The No. 1 overall pick and LeBron said send that teenager packing I need the white boy who can hit some 3’s and Griffin did it. He gave a max contract to Tristan fucking Thompson.

LeBron bitched the team didn’t have enough talent so Griffin traded for Andrew Bogut (who actually got hurt) and brought in guys like Kyle Korver and Derron Williams. Then the Cavs just happened to run into an all-time team in the Warriors and it wasn’t good enough. Instead of sitting down and figuring out, okay how the hell are we gonna beat these guys in Golden State, ya know, like a competitor would do – instead LeBron throws a bitch fit and gets the GM fired.

LeBron is basically the Littlefinger of the NBA. GM’s getting ousted, coaches getting fired, nonsensical trades and deals being made. The guy just loves the chaos.

LeBron’s little buddy Brian Windhorst can report all he wants how LeBron was “surprised” by the move:

But everyone knows whats up. Griffin was just LeBron’s latest fall guy. He’s the new Mike Brown. The new David Blatt. I’m not the coach, I’m not the GM, you guys built this shitty team not me so I’m gonna throw a temper tantrum and threaten to leave unless you axe this guy.

And that is why we don’t negotiate with terrorists. You pamper these guys and give them everything they want and then they turn around and throw everyone under the bus for making the exact moves you wanted them to make. Sorry LeBron, the Cavs are literally barren of assets to trade for a guy like Jimmy Butler or Paul George because of all these fucking moves you wanted the Cavs to make over the years.

Welp, godspeed to the next guy who’s got to take that job and get cucked by LeBron every day. Rumors are picking up steam now though that Chauncey Billups may actually take the job, which is probably the best thing for the Cavs despite Chauncey Billups having zero experience in the role. Billups can be the Ty Lue of the front office. Ty Lue, the guy who legit told LeBron to go fuck himself, was the best thing for LeBron. So there’s your blueprint Chauncey, godspeed.

Introducing the Celtics New German Big Man Daniel Theis AKA The Daniel Wall

So the Celtics have reportedly come to terms on a deal with Daniel Theis, a 6’9″ forward/center out of Germany. Not gonna pretend to know dick about this guy, so a quick breakdown from celticsblog.com below.

“He’s been a professional since 2011 and has played with Lowen Braunschweig, Ratiopharm Ulm and Brose Baskets in the German Basketball Bundesliga. In 2015-2016 and 2016-2017 he was a German BBL All-Star Starter and was named the Defensive Player of the Year in 2016-17. He was also named the Best National Player in the BBL in 2015-2016.”

Now I’m all for the Celtics adding some size to the roster, but the scouting report seems to describe a strong rebounder, a guy who block some shots into the rafters, yet has a limited offensive game. AKA Jordan Mickey. And Mickey was a guy who showed some flashes of being a beast on the boards, but got next to no playing time because of said offensive limitations so it’ll be interesting to see how Brad Stevens works Theis into the rotation.

Again, not gonna claim to be an expert on this German import so I’m gonna lean on the guys at CelticsBlog.com here. Theis definitely seems like a project as he’s a guy that was available to anyone in 2013, but went undrafted. His only NBA experience coming in the Summer League with the Wizards in 2014. But hey, maybe he’s a diamond in the rough. Don’t hate it, shoot your shot Danny.

Either way, I’ve been a gentleman and given Theis the opportunity to pick his own nickname, but I’m leaning heavy towards The Daniel Wall since he is from Germany and all.

Cue the mixtape!

What if Dennis Rodman Gets Taken Prisoner in North Korea and Directly Starts WW3?

ESPN – Dennis Rodman, the former NBA bad boy who has palled around with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, began sightseeing in Pyongyang on Wednesday during a trip he said he hoped will “open a door” for his former “Celebrity Apprentice” boss — U.S. President Donald Trump.

Dennis Rodman is back in Pyongyang essentially writing the script for a movie that will put Kazaam and Shaq Fu in a bodybag. The words “Based on a true story” make the cash register ring homie. Not to mention, he’s legit getting the job done.

“Hours after his arrival, U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson announced that North Korea had released an American student serving a 15-year prison term with hard labor for alleged anti-state acts.”

Coincidence? I think not. While the rest of us are nervously laughing every time a North Korean test missile crashes into the ocean, Rodman is getting the royal treatment from Kim Jong Un as they probably party like kings.

Rodman is basically the real life version of James Franco in The Interview. There is no acting here, these guys are legit buds. These two are probably commiserating over the fact that the rest of the world thinks they’re both batshit crazy.

But what if they get in a spat? What if there’s a disagreement? Ya know who’s not understanding and reasonable? A goddamn dictator of an isolated nation.

So what happens if North Korea takes Dennis Rodman prisoner? You think Donald Trump is gonna let Kim Jong Un cuck him and steal America’s Greatest Rebounder of All-Time? FUCK NO. Donnie will be invading North Korea the next day. And that’s how World War 3 starts my friends. Not because of ISIS. Because of Dennis fucking Rodman.

Plus you just know, DJT would be live tweeting the whole thing from the White House grinning like a madman.

Durant Balled Out to Win MVP, But It’s Hard to Shake the Fact He Joined a 73 Win Team

As much as I will always hate on Kevin Durant for bailing on OKC and taking the easy way out by jumping on the Warriors band wagon, I do have to give him credit for one thing. He. Balled. Out. Guy scored 30+ in every game and was an absolute monster the entire series. He wasn’t just along for the ride. He wasn’t Steph Curry’s little sidekick. He took over games, made big shots and basically made the Cavs quit.

Now, is it pretty fucking easy to be a lethal scorer when arguably the best player in the league is getting wide open looks because he’s on a super team? Yes, yes it is.

But it wasn’t just his offense, as Jackie Mac notes in her column yesterday — it was his stifling D that made the difference.

“Most observers gushed over the 33 points he scored, but Durant also finished with five blocks, three steals and 11 defensive rebounds. Only one other player since 1984, according to Basketball-Reference.com, has matched those numbers: Hall of Fame shoo-in Tim Duncan, who did it in Game 1 of the 2003 NBA Finals. No Hakeem, no Shaq. Just Duncan, one of the finest defensive players of his generation, and Durant.”

He has the speed to stay with LeBron but also the size to swat Kevin Love shots into the rafters. Not to mention he’s quick enough to close on jump shots from guys like Kyrie. Durant has a 7’5″ wingspan for christ’s sake! The Cavs didn’t really have an answer for the Durantula, which Jalen Rose called the worst nickname ever last night. To which Paul Pierce responded like a goddamn boss, “We can’t all be The Truth.”

Which is what makes it kind of sad because any quote from KD like this will always be followed by a “yea…but”

“Nobody comes in and cares about the game or loves the game as much as I do or works as hard as do,” Durant said. “You can talk about whatever happens on the outside, but inside those lines, I come to bring it every day. I work hard, I believe in myself, I believe in the game, I respect the game, I love the game, and I knew at some point in my life that it will come around for me. So I just tried to stay with those principles and keep grinding.”

So Nike can pump the fucking breaks with this commercial.

“Debate This.” Fuck outta here, Nike. I will debate this. Thoroughly. Because he joined a 73 win team. A team that he was up 3-1 on the previous season with a trip to the Finals on the line.

“Hey, thats not fair — KD earned the right to pick his team in free agency and play wherever he wants!”

All true and fair points. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s on easy street. This team was on cruise control to a title all year. Durant, again arguably the best player in the league, missed 20 games and the Warriors still won 67 games. Holy hell they might have won 80 if Durant was healthy. Looking ahead to next season, Golden State is already the most heavily favored team to win a title EVER:

“They’re going to be the highest favorite we’ve ever had going into a season, any team in any sport,” Jeff Sherman, NBA oddsmaker at the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook, told ESPN.

So I give Durant credit for being a beast in this series, but it’s gonna be hard for me to ever get over him jumping ship to the team that beat him. Guy must fucking HATE Russell Westbrook.

PS – Durant’s mom and Curry’s mom just GET it. So ride or die. Can’t knock that one bit.

LeBron Paved the Way for Super Teams and is Now Upset He’s Getting Beat by a Super Team

Yahoo – In a sense, if Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James is frustrated by the 2017 NBA Finals, his search for how the Golden State Warriors became so darn indestructible should really begin within. Unable on his own to topple the late 2000s Boston Celtics — a contender forged by trades for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen in the summer of 2007 — LeBron left the Cavs in 2010 to replicate a super-team blueprint alongside incumbent Dwyane Wade and fellow newcomer Chris Bosh on the Miami Heat…Though Durant says he did not consider James’ precedent, he readily admits, “He paved the way.”

LeBron must have thrown a fucking fit when he saw this quote from Kevin Durant. Recent quotes from LeBron have made it seem like he’s already resigned to his fate because the Warriors are just more talented. Oh you don’t like stacked teams beating up on you? Well you started the trend homie. Its actually pretty funny when you think about it. As much as I hate the trend of AAU buddies teaming up and building super teams, Durant’s right; LeBron set the precedent.

“You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand.”

After reading that story, this Alfred quote from the Dark Knight is the first thing that popped into my head. It’s dead on. Like when Batman took down most of the Gotham underworld he set a new precedent for criminals and they kicked it up another level by bringing in the bat shit crazy Joker. LeBron is basically Batman in this situation with the rest of the league being the Gotham mob bosses, which is a sentence I never thought I’d write.

“You spat in the faces of Gotham’s worse criminals. Didn’t you think there might be some casualties? Things were always going to get worse before they got better.”

The NBA is essentially a copy cat league. If you can’t beat em, join em.

Now Durant is basically saying, “Cry me a fucking river. It’s time for KD to get his shine.” I just really hope this doesn’t become a goddamn blueprint for future superstars. Get drafted, make your team title contenders every year without quite winning one, jump to the path of least resistance to win a ring or two, then come back to your original team to play the savior card. Because that, my friends, will get old reallll fast.

And, yes I realize I make far too many Batman references in my ramblings about sports. Deal with it. The Bat Man is the goat.