Tag: NFL

New T-Shirt Alert: Tom Brady is the Final Boss

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Former Patriot and current Giants defensive back Logan Ryan just gave us the quote of the year when asked to describe Tom Brady.

“We have much respect for each other. To me, he’s the ultimate test as a player. He’s like the final boss in Mario or whatever game you might play when you’re on the last level and they have hammers and cannonballs and everything going off in the game. He presents every threat to you possible.“ via SNY

That is more than just a quote from Logan Ryan, that’s art. Brady may not be on our team anymore (*pours one out*), but he’s still my quarterback. With that being said, get your Brady is the Final Boss t-shirts now!

College GameDay Will Be Live from Augusta National During the Masters

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ESPN – On Saturday, Nov. 14, the show will combine two of sport’s greatest traditions — college football and the Masters. ESPN announced on Tuesday that College GameDay will originate from Augusta National Golf Club, which is hosting the postponed Masters Tournament next month, Nov. 12-15.

“Any time College GameDay travels to a new destination, it’s special, and the opportunity to be on the grounds of Augusta National Golf Club during the Masters is extraordinary,” said Jimmy Pitaro, chairman, ESPN and Sports Content. “As this iconic event coincides with the college football season for the first time, we look forward to getting fans ready for a football Saturday while also showcasing the Masters and the greatest golfers in the world.”

Longtime ESPN hosts Rece Davis, Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard and others will broadcast from the par-3 course from 9 a.m. to noon ET.

So I guess ESPN just officially declared that November 14th will be the drunkest day of the year huh?

What a weird year 2020 continues to be. After having no sports for months during quarantine, it’s like we’re all drunk on the possibilities now and just stuffing everything together. Every single NBA team in one Disney World hotel? Did it. NBA Finals-Playoff Baseball-Playoff Hockey-NFL games all on a single day? Easy. Now we get a November Masters tournament with College GameDay busting through the door like your drunk uncle!

I’ve already begun my preparations for this event because well, ya know COVID. We’ve already had Boston Calling cancelled, live comedy shows postponed, a summer of games drunk in the Fenway bleachers axed, and sports bars won’t be opening any time soon.

Now I’m not a moron, I’m not campaigning for any of those things to reopen because I understand it’s just not safe during these UNPRECEDENTED TIMES. So I’m not about to have a bunch of people cramped into my apartment, we’re just gonna have to pretend we’re all in high school drinking in the woods again. Weather be damned. Mid-November in New England could mean temperatures in the 50s or the 30s so I’m really hoping for the former. Got the fire pit and the patio string lights already set up, currently browsing projectors on Amazon, maybe set up the putting green on the deck and just get blitzed outside watching the Masters and college football. Just make sure you dump your jacket outside before you go home so your parents don’t smell the smoke from the fire on you. Thats a dead giveaway.

COVID times call for desperate measures and winter is coming, so dress accordingly.

DK Metcalf is Going to Be Ben Watson for Halloween This Year

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Seattle lost to Arizona on a last second field goal in a wild overtime back and forth affair last night, but the Seahawks may not have even made it a game if not for this DK Metcalf play. In an uncharacteristically bad pass in the red zone (except for this one), Russell Wilson threw an ill advised slant that the Cardinals’ Budda Baker easily intercepted and was off to the house. It should have been an easy pick six as there was nothing but green turf between him and the end zone, except Metcalf was not having it. Metcalf turns on the jets, sprints 90 yards, and runs Baker down from behind.

It was eerily reminiscent of one of the greatest plays in Patriots history that actually came in a loss. In 2005 the Patriots were coming off back to back Super Bowl titles and finished a mediocre 10-6, which was still good enough to win the AFC East. That was essentially fool’s gold though as this team just was not that good and it was before Tom Brady really became the Tom Brady that would carry the Patriots and lead countless comebacks for years to come. After trouncing the Jaguars (and Brady’s current QB coach Byron Leftwich), the Pats moved on to play the Broncos led by Jake the Snake Plummer in the AFC Divisional round. Down 10-6 late in the 3rd quarter, the Patriots were in the red zone and threatening to take the lead. Brady gets pressured out of the pocket and rolls right, throwing on the run and tossing up a jump ball to an allegedly 5’10” Troy Brown. The throw was picked off by All-Pro cornerback Champ Bailey, who was 2 yards deep in his own end zone before taking off and running it back for a would be pick six. Only for Patriots tight end Ben Watson to run something like 110 yards from the opposite side of the field to chase down Bailey and SMOKE him at the one yard line.

Bailey was ruled down at the 1-yard line, which should have been ruled a touchback and Patriots ball but it was 15 years ago so I’m not gonna get worked up about that before I even finish my morning coffee.

The Patriots would go on to lose the game 27-13, but it was one I’ll never forget because of that one Ben Watson play.

Oh and the guy that DK Metcalf chased down ran a 4.4 40-yard-dash at the combine by the way so it’s not like he was running down some out of shape linebacker. If only the Patriots could draft receivers like that…

Patriots Have a Losing Record This Late in the Season for the First Time in 18 YEARS

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I know that headline is the definition of first world problems and every Jets, Bills, and Dolphins fan in America is probably reaching for the closest pencil to stab me in the eye with. BUT, that doesn’t change the fact that in the midst of a bizarre, start and stop, don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it UNPRECEDENTED season, the Patriots officially have a losing record this late in the year for the first time since 2002! That is WEIRD! A lot of factors have gone into that, mainly the greatest quarterback of all time leaving town, but also this goddamn pandemic screwing with rosters and schedules all across the league.

I mean the Patriots have played all three of their QBs at various points this year and Cam Newton just missed the better part of the last two weeks of practice after a positive COVID test. Add in the fact that the Pats are dealing with injuries/other COVID issues and the team was forced to roll out some Papier-mâché amalgam of an offensive line unit yesterday. Newton was mostly mediocre throwing the ball yesterday with 2 picks and only completing 17 passes all day. In fairness, Newton has completed 15, 30, 17, and 17 passes in each game he’s played in this year so it wasn’t a disastrous drop off, but he did have his worst QB Rating of the year by far at 51.6.

Newton did rush for 76 yards and a TD though, including a 30+ yard run where he stiff armed the shit out of a defender at the end.

Another thing that stuck out to me was the decision to go for 2 instead of just kicking the extra point after scoring to put the game within 9. That was head scratching. If they just kick the XP then they’re only down 8 points, but failing to get the 2 point conversion put the Pats down by 9, which requires them to score twice to come back. Now I know the analytics stat heads say it’s actually smart because getting that play out of the way affects the game script and the team then knows they need two scores regardless, instead of banking on getting a 2 point conversion at the end and leaving yourself no time. I’m not a math or economics guy so I don’t want to sound like a disgruntled scout at the Moneyball table, but that sounds like a bunch of malarkey to me. Luckily it ended up not hurting them after Drew Lock melted and threw two picks to put the Pats right back in the game.

They only lost by 6 so it’s a moot point, but still seemed like an instance of the Pats overthinking things.

Now do we give Josh McDaniels credit for being in his bag with all the trick plays down the stretch yesterday?

Or do we rightfully give him and Cam shit for being incapable of moving the ball against a team that just barely beat the Jets the week before? I mean you never want to say it’s a waste if it works, but it didn’t result in a win so it’s kind of a waste to call all these trick plays against the goddamn Broncos because now it’s on film for future opponents to study. The element of surprise is what makes these plays work, despite the fact that I’m almost positive the Pats tried to run this same exact play on the prior series when Edelman got immediately tackled for a 2 yard loss.

I’m pretty sure the play where Newton went out for the reception is the same one that Brady got hurt on last year too. So it just goes to show the stark contrast of this year’s team vs last year’s; there are certain areas where Newton has helped tremendously as Brady nearly broke his leg on that same trick play last year. But the Pats are in a lot more rock fights this year and are just looking to keep opposing teams under 20 points as they’ve become much more reliant on the running game, the defense, and sleight of hand.

I want to err on the side of patience considering Newton and the team barely practiced the last week or two, but hey the same thing happened to the Titans after they flipped the bird to COVID protocols and they rolled in their first game back after essentially zero practices. So who the hell knows what to expect from this team, but I do know there is potential for an elite unit there. Just look back 3 weeks to the Seattle game, which they lost, but Newton went off for 397 yards and 1 TD plus 47 yards and 2 TDs on the ground. So if the Pats can get it together and find some semblance of consistency, which is easier said than done in these UNPRECEDENTED TIMES, then they can be dangerous.

Random Silver Lining of the Day

Cam Newton is in fact not afraid to dive into the pile to recover a fumble, despite sports talk radio hosts roasting Newton about that for weeks after signing with the Pats. Forgetting the fact that the moment in question was one play in a game that happened nearly 5 years ago. This was actually a huge moment that kept the Patriots’ slim chances alive. Cam didn’t play great, but it wasn’t for a lack of grit.

The Jets Gave Up On Le’Veon Bell. Are the Patriots Interested in the Former All-Pro?

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ESPN – The New York Jets’ rocky relationship with Le’Veon Bell came to an abrupt end Tuesday when the team announced it had released the running back.

The move concluded a 19-month tenure that was filled with disappointment and broken promises. Bell, who arrived as a marquee free agent in 2019, never clicked with coach Adam Gase, who opposed the signing from the outset.

That Jets contract (4 years $52.5 million) was a disaster from Day 1, but imagine picking Adam Gase over Le’Veon Bell?? It’s hard to tell if after 1 year + 4 games in New York if he is already washed up or if the Jets are just sucking the life out of him. I mean he’s only 28 years old, granted it’s an old 28 considering his monumental workload at Michigan State. But you’d have to think he still has a couple good years left in him. Adam Gase, the offensive guru responsible for (read: worked in the same building as) Peyton Manning’s record setting 56 TD season in Denver, has now traded, released, and generally made the Jets’ best players worse. All-Pro Jamal Adams. Former All-Pro Le’Veon Bell. First Round QB Sam Darnold. All three were seemingly key building blocks for a rebuilding team. Two of them are now gone and Darnold, despite flashes of the potential that made him the third overall pick two years ago, looks to be stuck in neutral.

So Patriots fans do you want Le’Veon Bell? He officially becomes a free agent at 4 pm on Wednesday. It’s basically become a cliche around here to say the Pats are in on Veteran X whether it’s Calvin Johnson, or Larry Fitzgerald, or AJ Green. The Pats are in on all of these guys and then nothing happens. Now the Pats are rumored to be in on Le’Veon Bell. Except, this time it’s the Jets. The Jets bought HIGH on Bell and sold LOW, getting absolutely nothing in return and releasing the former All-Pro running back. The Patriots absolutely do not need another running back with James White, Damien Harris, Rex Burkhead, and eventually Sony Michel already in the mix. But Bill Belichick is nothing if not a man who enjoys stomping on the graves of his enemies. I cannot even imagine the size of the grin on Belichick’s face as he thinks about picking the latest failed experiment of his rival off the scrap heap and turning him into a weapon for the Patriots as they fight for another Super Bowl title.

The Pats absolutely do not need him, but there are few teams out there that could utilize Bell better than New England. Now let’s look at Bell’s side of it. He legit sat out an entire season in Pittsburgh because he wanted a new deal and didn’t want to risk blowing out his knee right before his one big pay day.

Like LeBron or Sebastian, high school graduates
Straight to the league, I ain’t waitin’ for my knee to blow
Yesterday I was needin’ this dough

Then he signs a gargantuan contract with New York to be their bellcow back and take the Jets back to prominence. Only for the new head coach in town, aforementioned offensive guru and recently fired Dolphins coach Adam Gase, to immediately shit all over the move.

Hows that for a welcoming party? Bell drastically underperformed and battled injuries, but even when he was healthy the team around him was getting worse and the rift between him and the head coach was getting wider. You think that guy is motivated at all to stick it to his former boss?

What better way than to sign on with their biggest rival and beat the Jets’ brains in and win a ring in New England? It’s a win win for both sides as Bell signs on with a competent team that will utilize his talents, reestablishes his value, and helps him try to get that elusive Super Bowl ring before signing another big deal somewhere else this offseason. It’s the playbook that Darrelle Revis and Trent Brown perfected in recent years.

Not to mention that every player we thought was a bum while playing for Gase has THRIVED since getting away from him. Just look at Ryan Tannehill. Under Joe Philbin for the first three years of his career in Miami, Tannehill improved every. single. year. Touchdowns, Yards, Yards per Game, Completion Percentage, Quarterback Rating, even his total Rushing Yards ALL improved every single year. Enter Adam Gase. Tannehill played a mixed bag of two seasons under Gase (he missed 2017 due to injury) as the Dolphins floundered and the coach publicly threw his QB under the bus. Both got 86’d by the Dolphins as Gase went on to do Gase things in New York, while Tannehill won Comeback Player of the Year with the Titans.

And don’t even get me started on Kenyan Drake. After 3+ seasons in Miami where Drake failed to top 644 rushing yards in a year, Drake rushed for 633 yards in 8 games with the Cardinals last year. After never rushing for more than 4 touchdowns in Miami, Drake rushed for 8 touchdowns in 8 games in Arizona last year. Drake is also more than DOUBLING his yards per game in Arizona compared to Miami as he has turned into a stud away from Adam Gase.

These turnarounds from Tannehill and Drake post-Gase legitimately offend me as a football fan. The clock is ticking on that man’s head coaching career as the Jets continue to be the worst team in football.

He’ll probably latch on somewhere else pretty quickly because the NFL is incestuous with former coaches just being recycled all across the league, but if I’m running the Jets the next move I make is the same Gase made with Le’Veon Bell, send him packing.

There’s Something About Losing a Winnable Game That Stings Something Fierce

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All aboard the Joey B Express because this train is leaving the station and to be honest with you I am not sure where it’s heading.

What started out as an aberation in this era (the past 15 years or so) of Boston sports, an anomaly, has turned overnight into what economists, stylists, and actually, human fucking beings in general call a “trend”.

One could say this startling reminder of athletic mortality began last December, well before we knew Corona was anything other than a Mexican beer brewed in Kentucky, when the Patriots decided to simply not show up against the Tennessee Titans in the wild-card game, allowing Derrick Henry to run roughshod without even considering stacking the box and, I don’t know, asking Ryan fucking Tannehill to beat us . We all sat there rather calmly all game, thinking “any second now”. Any second now McDaniels would wake up, figure things out, and the offense would cook a quick 21 point cake to get us the dub. Any second now the Mayo/S.Belichick brain trust on defense would unleash the Boogeymen and, fucking I don’t know, spy the aging QB who was running all over us, all the whole being known to throw more picks than a blinded Nathan Peterman. None of that happened though and we lost. To the Titans. In the playoffs.

Things seemed to get back to normal after that befuddling end to 2019. The Bruins played just about up to expectations this season, especially when considering they had to stop their season then restart inside a bubble. The Bs also had to deal with their starting goalie going out to fetch some milk, or in his case probably wings, and never coming back. The Sox sucked this year but at this point I’m pretty sure we’re all just about rooting for that given how hateable their ownership is.

Then our sports world got weird again in the form of the Bubble Celtics. King Marcus Smart, First of His Name, The J’s, and company started a little sluggish but really hit their stride at the end of the bubble season. They proceeded to thrash the 6ers in four. But then they had to go to fucking war with the Raptors, a war which they won. It was entertaining as hell, absolutely captivating, but at the same time, a bit discouraging. On paper, with Toronto having lost Kawhi, our squad should have beaten Toronto a little more handily. no offense to the other 6. Fred van Fleet just shouldn’t be able to lead a team to a seventh game against the young guns from Boston, in my opinion. So I was a little wary heading into our series with Miami.

Now, I don’t hold Jimmy Butler in as high regard as say, the prostitutes in Rio de Janeiro or, more relevantly, other basketball fans. I’ve just never seen “it”. But all the same going up against him and a good supporting cast did not excite me all that much. So I was pretty shocked watching the series play out. Not in the final score of the games themselves or watching the basketball actually go in the hoop or not, just everything else. We simply looked better. We played better. We were more athletic. We were a more cohesive team. But we just didn’t win. We didn’t execute. We didn’t actually score. We didn’t….beat a not as good team. It made zero sense. It must have been how the USSR felt watching the 1980 Olympics. I don’t know how to say. “How the fuck is this happening?” in Russian but I gained some empathy for Sergei and Pavel out in Moscow that series.

I carried that series in my gut with me. I figured it’d be there for awhile. It turns out I was wrong as I carried it around with me until just last night. With Cam Newton having tested positive for the big C19, the Pats trotted out journeyman not-extrordinaire Brian Hoyer against the defending champion Kansas City Chiefs. And by the 5:00 minute mark (or thereabouts) of the 3rd Quarter, guess what? We should have been winning. But we weren’t. How? Down a respectable 6-3 with the clocking ticking away at the half, Hoyer decided to take a sack rather than throw the ball away, costing us a field goal attempt that not even Nick Folk would have (probably) missed. then, with the score still 6-3, Patrick Mahomes laid an egg on his first drive on the second half. HUGE stop for the D. Hoyer then led an excellent, strategic, balanced drive down the field to get us to the 13. When Josh Mc could advance us no further on the ground, Hoyer dropped back to pass, held on to the ball too long AGAIN, and got stripped. Kansas City ball. Now instead of being 9-3 New England AT A MINIMUM it was Chiefs ball going the other way. Momentum had swung way to far the other way to ever come back to us. We lost 26-10 on a day where our receivers were showing up a little, our D was playing out of their minds, and weird-voice-having Patrick Mahomes was playing like shit.

That leaves us with THREE (3) instances of us just not winning games our eyes have told us we should since last December. In the time it takes to conceive and have a child (I’ve been told) that child would have born to a family that was absolutely bewildered by its sports franchises inability to win games against opponents they should have beaten, sometimes soundly. Instead their birth certificates would have beared names like “FUCKING FRANK CLARK” and “Tyler Herro Looks Like The Third Fucking Chainsmoker.” What a world.

And this, sadly, ladies and gents, is what sports fandom really feels like. I remember it. I’m not so young that I don’t remember asking no one in particular, with tears almost in my eyes, “Why can’t we just win?” I hope this isn’t just it, for the record. I hope I haven’t seen my last championship until I’m too old to care. I hope Cam Newton comes back, Brian Hoyer is locked in the abandoned Showcase Cinema at Patriots Place, and we catch fire with the rest of what looks like an excellent team. I hope the Bruins and Celtics come back next year refreshed, energized by having some (hopefully) semblance of consistency in their lives. I hope, and I can’t stress this enough, John Henry and the rest of the Sox ownership gets Epsteined and are forced to sell.

I hope we become winners again.

-JoeyB.

Silver Linings from the Patriots’ Loss to the Chiefs

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I am not a silver linings type of guy, as I said yesterday there are no moral victories in the National Football League. Yes, the Patriots lost 26-10 to the Chiefs last night, BUT there are some things to build on here for a team that was not playing with a full deck.

Defense Delights
The Patriots defense was masterful for much of the night (except for 2 dropped picks) holding the Chiefs to their lowest offensive yards total all season, just a week after they dropped 517 yards and 34 points on the Ravens. Patrick Mahomes was held to 236 yards and 2 TDs (both of which were about 2 foot tosses). The Pats also stifled Clyde Edwards-Helaire and the Chiefs running game all day, holding CEH to just 64 yards on 20 carries. Travis Kelce only had 3 catches for 70 yards on the night, but killed the Pats on a 45 yard reception late in the game.

RIP to the Brian Hoyer Era
The Brian Hoyer era lasted a grand total of 44 minutes.

Hoyer killed the Patriots with rookie mistakes all night long before mercifully getting benched by Belichick. I am normally a pretty calm guy watching the game and scrolling twitter in between plays, but I literally YELLED at my TV when Hoyer took that sack to end the first half and cost the Pats a field goal.

You can argue that the team was too cavalier with their timeouts, but thats because they had a guy in his 12th year in the NFL under center. He should know better so that was infuriating to watch. Hoyer only made it worse later in the game when a pass rusher blew by him and instead of immediately getting the ball out, he patted the ball somehow thinking the defender was gone. Nope, that guy immediately peeled back and forced the fumble on Hoyer who for some god forsaken reason still had the ball in his hands. Hoyer’s Awareness rating in Madden must have taken a nosedive after this performance.

In came Jarret Stidham, who the Pats finally reached their breaking point and relented on letting him play after Stid had the gall to go to a wedding over the summer. All it took was less than 3 quarters of watching Brian Hoyer playing for Belichick to pull the plug on that experiment. Physically Stidham looked pretty good as he chucked the ball around with ease. He made the typical mistakes of a young QB, but he also had some alarmingly bad throws with 3 picks (1 of which was called back). I don’t know if thats an accuracy issue or a decision making issue, but one of his interceptions was on an underthrown ball in the face of pressure. If he just steps up in the pocket to avoid the rush, this is a TD.

He did hit N’Keal Harry with a pretty touch pass in the back of the end zone for a touchdown on his first career completion though so that was nice to see.

Harry was a huge disappointment last year for various reasons, but it seems the experience of being in Year 2 combined with the power of positive reinforcement from Cam Newton hyping him up has paid huge dividends. Ironic, considering one of Tom Brady’s best friends is Tony Robbins, the de facto king of positive thinking, but it takes Cam Newton to bring it out of Harry.

Turnovers Galore
The Pats were uncharacteristcally sloppy, turning the ball over four times compared to just once by the Chiefs. You’re rarely going to win a game when you lose the turnover battle, you are never going to win a game against the Chiefs when you spot them points.

Young Guys Shine
Chase Winovich has officially arrived this season and particularly in this game as he was wrecking havoc and hurrying Mahomes all night long. Very encouraging to see for a team that is desperate for some pass rushers after all the players that either left via free agency or opted out this season.

Damiere Byrd looked like a legit NFL receiver yet again with five catches for 80 yards, but he also saw 10 targets so the QBs (not just Cam Newton) seem to trust him to make plays.

Damien Harris FINALLY stepped onto the field and he did not disappoint, racking up 100 yards in his first significant NFL game action. Harris only had 4 touches all of last season and was a scratch most weeks so I have been dying to see the former Alabama back get some significant work. With Sony Michel back on IR this is Harris’ time to shine and I think he probably takes the RB1 job for good. Granted the Pats routinely roll out multiple runningbacks on any given week, but I think Harris is the locked in bellcow back moving forward if he stays healthy.

Kyle Dugger looked great and his athleticism was apparent as he made some touch tackles, which impressed me the most considering the Patriots’ top pick was essentially playing Division II football last year.

Get Well Soon Cam
The Patriots showed they can hang with the class of the league if they play their best football, which they did for large shares of the night. Their QB play is what ultimately sunk them, but if these two teams meet again later this season it would be with Newton under center who obviously turns the Patriots offense into a completely different beast.

Edelman Drops
Jules had the dropsies last night, including a pass deflected off his hands that turned into a walk-in pick six for the Chiefs.

It’s tough to see Edelman drop more and more balls as he gets up there because he has been so money for so long for this Patriots team. It’s something to keep an eye on. He is far from washed, as we saw in the Seattle matchup when Edelman had one of the best games of his entire career with Newton slinging him the ball. But it makes sense for the Pats to not have their entire offense depend on a 34-year-old receiver.

Although Edelman’s potential heir to the New England Slot only had one catch last night, Gunner Olszewski sure as shit made it count with this one.

Give Me a Break
Looot of breaks went the Chiefs way last night and the Pats were still hanging around for most of the game. By far the worst was the fumble return that was whistled dead WAY too quickly and ultimately ruled a sack.

The clear strip and fumble return was blown dead by the refs who said they thought Mahomes was “in the grasp” of defenders.

Now I understand the irony of a Patriots fan complaining about a quarterback sack not being called a fumble, but that call was horrific. Total hose job.

There was also the Chiefs punt returner somehow not touching that bouncing ball a la Edelman in the AFC Championship, and the brutal roughing the passer call on Mahomes who should have won an Oscar on the play.

Overall this team looked pretty good playing the defending SB champs with their 2nd and 3rd string quarterback after commuting to Kansas City the day of the game. They showed they can hang with the best of them so I look forward to seeing this team back at full strength. The Pats are now 2-2 and 2 games back in the AFC East though trailing the Bills who look legit behind sudden MVP candidate Josh Allen. I knew the Bills would be good this year, but I did not expect this type of jump from Allen so kudos to them. The race for the AFC East crown is on now.

With Cam Newton Out Due to COVID-19, the Brian Hoyer Era Begins Tonight

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Spin cycle activated. Yes, Brian Hoyer hype videos do indeed exist.

Now that Cam Newton is out for at least this game if not multiple games after testing positive for COVID, we get a peak at what the Patriots would have looked like had they never signed Cam in the first place since Hoyer was QB1 earlier this summer.

If that highlight video doesn’t make you feel any better, well let’s take a look at Hoyer’s career stats. Hoyer’s teams are 16-22 when he is the starter and he has a career 59.1 completion percentage, 7 yards per attempt career avg, 52 touchdowns and 32 picks, with an 82.5 career QBR.

Time to test the theory that Belichick can win with anybody under center, but this is his biggest test since Matt Cassel was taking snaps in 2008.

There’s also Jarrett Stidham on the bench, but if you believe what you hear on talk radio, which I take with a gigantic grain of salt, the team apparently buried him on the depth chart after he took a road trip to Texas for a wedding during the offseason. I always found that, if true, to be an over the top punishment, even for Belichick. But hey when the greatest quarterback of all time leaves town creating a wide open, glowing opportunity for you to become a starter in the NFL, you probably don’t want your boss to think you’re doing anything other than playing, practicing, studying, and dreaming about football.

With on again, off again Patriots QB Hoyer most likely getting the start tonight the Pats have gone from -7 point underdogs to -11, which would be the third largest spread in the league this week. So Vegas is not feeling it.

I think the Pats are probably going to get dusted tonight if we’re being honest. They were already big underdogs to begin with, now they’re starting their backup QB on the road, on short notice, and are straight up commuting to Kansas City on game day to play the defending Super Bowl champs.

Theres no moral victories in the NFL, but hey if you want a silver lining, maybeeee this helps the Patriots if they end up playing the Chiefs again in the playoffs since KC won’t have any game tape of Cam vs the Chiefs. I don’t want to come off like an In Belichick We Trust goon so I’m going to leave it at that, but hey you asked for a silver lining.

The real problem is what if Cam misses multiple games? The Patriots play the Broncos next week, who they should be able to beat without Newton and then thankfully Week 6 is their bye. So that would give Newton three weeks before hopefully returning for Week 7 vs the 49ers, who would presumably have Jimmy G back by then. But you never know, Eduardo Rodriguez came down with COVID and missed the rest of the season due to complications.

Also considering not a single other Patriots player tested positive, for a guy who is renting a place, who intentionally did not move his family to New England because it’s a “business trip,” and orders vegan takeout food rather than going out — how the hell did he even get coronavirus?

Despite Newton being the only Patriots player to test positive, the NFL was quick to launch a full scale investigation into the team for not properly following safety procedures. FOH, Goodell.

Welp, hopefully Newton, as we hope for anyone that has contracted COVID, recovers and is back to full strength quickly. Until then, enjoy the Brian Hoyer Experience.

Tom Brady Went From Belichick Criticizing Him Privately to Bruce Arians Dumping All Over Him Publicly

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Bruce Arians came out of the gates FIRING on Sunday after losing the first game of the Tom Brady era and if I were Brady I would be bullshit for getting thrown under the bus in Week ONE. I’m half expecting Brady and Gronk to drop a Hit Em Up remix dissing Arians before next weekend.

Its been widely reported that one of the reasons Tom Brady left New England, other than it was just time for a change of scenery, is that his relationship with Belichick had started to grate on him. Belichick treated Brady like a first year player (or Fucking Johnny Foxboro according to Giselle) and gave him just as much criticism as the next guy in the locker room. Except Belichick did it privately. You never heard a word about this in press conferences even if Brady played like garbage, which he rarely did. Welp, if getting criticized privately bothered Brady he must love whats going on in Tampa Bay right now.

Arians went out of his way to very publicly blame both interceptions on Brady. Now I’m no film geek so I’m not sitting here watching the All-22, but I would bet my non-existent house on the fact that Tom Brady is reading coverages better than Mike Evans.

To paraphrase the great Katt Williams “…maybe we should stop beating our kids……publicly.”

Even if it was TB12’s fault, you just overhauled your entire team and moved heaven and earth to bring the greatest player of all time to a city known for nothing but strip clubs and you immediately rip the guy the first chance you get? Now that he has a real QB in the room, Arians is like Kelly Kapoor in a blazer.

Granted, Brady isn’t going to just go into the tank and pout because his coach criticized him on TV, but uhhh this ain’t exactly helpful. I had this discussion with Big Z the other day, but this is literally the worst offseason ever for a 43-year-old QB to change teams. As Big Z put it, meetings were outlawed and preseason games cancelled.

Some people thought it came off as Arians yet again throwing his QB under the bus, most notably Emmanuel Acho was chirping the Bucs coach.

The problems went far beyond the QB for Tampa though as they were an undisciplined mess on Sunday with tons of penalties, miscommunications, and ugly plays like the muffed kickoff return that two Bucs had to legit work together to somehow pull off.

If, and this is a gigantic if, the Bucs can get their shit together they are obviously a very talented team and can do some damage in the NFC. I have never doubted Tom Brady once in my life, so I’m certainly not going to start now, but they better get organized.

The Bill Belichick Subway Commercial Has Finally Arrived

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The internet was set ablaze about six weeks ago when Belichick was spotted filming a commercial for sandwiches and I’ve been counting the days since waiting for the finished product. Pretty good. It’s got Bill’s trademark dry, deadpan humor, but as the great Will Hunting once said: “So what’d I think? I’m holding out for something better.”

I need to see the second version or the directors cut of this commercial with Belichick going HAM on a cold cut combo.

We will not rest until that footage sees the light of day, but maybe they’re just saving it for behind the scenes footage in the next Super Bowl champs DVD?