Tag: Oakland

Patriots Acquire Cordarrelle Patterson from the Raiders

By on • ( Leave a comment )

NFL – “Tom Brady is getting a new toy to enjoy in his offense. NFL Network’s Tom Pelissero reported the New England Patriots acquired speedy wideout Cordarrelle Patterson from the Oakland Raiders on Sunday, pending a physical. Per NFL Network Insider Ian Rapoport, the Patriots will swap their fifth-round pick for a Raiders sixth-round pick in order to make the move.”

Not an earth shattering move nor is it as sexy as the last time the Patriots traded for a Raiders receiver…

but Cordarrelle Patterson can be an exciting player with the ball in his hands. Patterson has always been a player that has never been able to necessarily put it all together, but if he could be put in the right positions he could take any play to the house. Putting players in a position to succeed is what Bill Belichick does better than anyone else in the NFL. Whether its returning kicks or a package of screens and slants, I’m confident Bill has a very specific role in mind for this guy. This is a player that the Patriots can line up in the slot, go deep, run screens, reverses or take handoffs. He has a career average yards per reception and yards per rushing attempt of 10+ yards. That type of versatility has me drooling to see what Bill and Josh McDaniels have in store for Patterson.

Although, I would be lying if I didn’t say I am a bit concerned with the recent stockpiling of wide receivers that have made a habit of disappointing coaches and fantasy owners alike in Phillip Dorsett, Kenny Britt, and now Patterson.

If nothing else Patterson can FLY and while I don’t think relying on deep ball go routes from our 41-year-old QB is a great option, he should make an immediate impact in the return game. Belichick may be looking to replace some of the sheer athleticism his team has lost with the recent departures of guys like Dion Lewis. But hey, the guy was on Sports Science so how can this be viewed as anything other than a raging success?

Deuce Gruden Joining His Dad, Jon Gruden, on the Raiders Coaching Staff

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo -Deuce Gruden is the son of Jon and the nephew of Jay, the coaches of the Oakland Raiders and Washington Redskins. He was part of the Redskins’ strength and conditioning staff. And even on an NFL sideline, Deuce Gruden stands out. He’s a powerlifting champion, and looks capable of bench pressing any player on his team. Even the linemen. Gruden was on the Redskins’ strength staff and it’s no surprise that he left Uncle Jay to go be on his dad’s new staff with the Raiders. Matt Schneidman of the Mercury News had the story.

Somebody get Ryan Seacrest on the line and get these two a reality show IMMEDIATELY. Can you imagine that? It would be A+, must see television. The only reason I think they don’t do it is because it would put the Kardashians ratings in the toilet. Hey, as Gary Vaynerchuk always says, you need to always be thinking of ways to put yourself out of business so somebody else doesn’t do it for you. Pull the trigger.

I’m just picturing the 5’5″ 300 pound Deuce hulking out on the sideline when some panzy can’t finish a tackle because he’s been slacking on his squats. Throw in Chucky and Mark Davis?

Holy hell, I’m getting excited now. What would you even call it?

Chucky and the Deuce: Road to Las Vegas.

Seacrest out.

The Raiders Just Gave Jon Gruden a 10 Year $100 Million Contract to Become Their New Head Coach

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN.com – The Oakland Raiders will sign Jon Gruden to the longest coaching deal in NFL history — a 10-year contract likely approaching $100 million — when it is made official Tuesday, sources told ESPN’s Adam Schefter on Friday.

10 years and $100 MILLION DOLLARS for Jon Gruden to become the new coach of the Oakland Raiders!

I love Gruden, he is awesome in the booth and I look forward to seeing him back on the sidelines, but $100 Million for a guy that hasn’t coached since 2008? That is insane. I forget who tweeted it so I can’t give the proper credit, but I saw someone on Twitter mention that by the end of this deal Raiders team owner Mark Davis will have paid Gruden 1/5th of Mark Davis’ net worth. Because as far as NFL team owners go, Mark Davis is a broke bitch. He’s worth only $500 Million.

So unless there is some sneaky ownership stake in the team included (which Gruden has denied), then Davis is betting BIG on the move to Las Vegas being a rousing success. He has every reason to believe it will be too, especially since he snaked a deal that had him put up almost none of his own money.

Is anyone better suited to bring this team to Las Vegas than Jon Gruden? Well, maybe The Rock.

But this guy is going to be electric as the Raiders move to Sin City, both on the sidelines and in his press conferences. Now is being out of coaching for 10 years going to hurt? I would say probably, but all the ESPN (lackeys) are saying its actually good for him as he’s had a chance to study the evolution of offense in the NFL. Not to mention he’s been in practices and production meetings with just about every other team in the league over the past few years so that can’t hurt.

But it is always surprising to see a guy come back after being away from the game for so long. Just look at Bill Cowher.

He was another guy everyone thought would take a couple of years off and return to coaching, but after a few years of making beaucoup bucks to work 1/100th of the hours in a cushy TV job, its easy to understand why so many don’t go back to the grind of being an NFL head coach.

Good for Gruden, but goddamnit am I gonna miss his crazy ass in the booth. The guy was legit must watch TV in a spot where the league and the networks typically lean towards the mundane. Remember Jaws and Tony Kornheiser? Woof. For a guy that made football jargon like Spider 2 Y Banana a national catchphrase and starred in Hooters and Corona commercials in his off time, it will be hard to replace him.

No matter how much fame or money a person acquires though, we’re all the same at the end of the day and Jon Gruden reminded me of that on Saturday’s playoff broadcast. The guy has absolutely. checked. out.

You earned it my man.

Madden Pro Going Nuts Reminds Me of The GOAT Madden Meltdown I Saw in College

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Look we’ve all been there. I’ve smashed more clickers than I care to admit and so have all of you. Glass houses guys.

But, this dude flipping the fuck out reminded me of the GOAT Madden meltdown I witnessed in college. I was playing my roommate and I was feeling myself so I picked a shittier team, knowing it would drive this kid up a wall if I took it to him with the 2008 Raiders.

You know the unbeatable 2008 Raiders that went 4-12 behind stud No. 1 overall pick, and my boy, JaMarcus Russell. If there ever was a guy built for a fucking video game it was this dude. Absolutely awful in real life, but in a video game he had an absolute cannon and he could run his balls off. Thats all I need boys.

So in case you forget just how truly shitty this team really was back in 08, here was the starting skill position players:

QB: JaMarcus Russell
RB: Darren “Run DMC” McFadden
WR: Javon Walker, Chaz Schilens, Ashley Lelie, Johnnie Lee Higgins, Ronald Curry
TE: Zach Miller

Not exactlyyy Murderers Row, but the Raiders did also have Nnamdi Asomugha before he fell off a cliff and DeAngelo Hall patrolling the secondary. (Thats called foreshadowing guys)

So anyways, I am scoring *at will* on QB scrambles out of the shotgun, HB screens, and 70 yard bombs in the air. If JaMarcus Russell saw how much better he was in Madden than in real life I think he might actually kill himself. But to top it all off the Oakland defense is smothering my roommate with interception after interception after interception. My roommate is fucking BOILING and I’m not a huge trash talker so I’m just waiting for the straw to break the camel’s back.

Well that would come in the form of my SEVENTH interception of the day, which also happened to be a pick-six that put me at 70+ points on the afternoon…in the 3rd quarter.

“FUCK THIS GAME!”

Roommate stands up and absolutely Gronk spikes the $50 PS2 clicker into the fucking floor. Let me tell you, I have never seen a piece of hardware fly into so many pieces as that Playstation clicker did. We had to have a closed casket funeral for that PS2 clicker.

And that my friends is why you don’t stream yourself playing a game of Madden because we are all one bullshit play away from rifling a clicker through the goddamn window.

Prettyyyy Sure You Can’t Do That, Marshawn Lynch

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Little bit of extra curricular activity from the Chiefs defensive line on Thursday Night Football and Marshawn Lynch was NOT having it.

Pretty sure leaving the sideline to rough house with the refs is frowned upon, but we’ll see how the Ginger Hammer feels about it.

Thursday Night Pick Em: Chiefs vs Raiders (Bonus: Color Rush Breakdown)

By on • ( Leave a comment )

As always, all our lines come from the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Tonight we’ve got the Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 47) at Oakland Raiders.

Derek Carr still doesn’t look right, not surprisingly, just a couple of weeks after breaking his fucking back. So the Raiders are hard to trust here. Especially with the hottest team in the NFL coming to town in the Kansas City Chiefs. Travis Kelce is back, allegedly, to 100% after a concussion, Kareem Hunt is still the most electric RB in the league, and Tyreek Hill is still on this team. Not to mention Alex Smith is FEELING himself for the first time in a long time. No more checkdown Alex safe throw Smith. Dude is letting it fly. Sure being in a contract year with a QB drafted in the 1st Round behind you probably doesn’t hurt, but the guy has some legit weapons around him in KC for the first time. KC is a (-3) point favorite and that is easy money. That is nothing. Slap your money down on the table confidently and sit back and watch the Chiefs make us all rich.

Now, onto the unis.

I’ve heard a lot of Raiders fans complaining about the Color Rush jerseys, with Oakland going white on white tonight. It does seem like a missed opportunity to have a total blackout. Just go old school villain, make everything black, but nay. The Chefs are going red on red, which is a good look, but they’re both wearing the same uni combos when they played each other last year. Should’ve been Raiders decked out in black with the Chiefs rocking all yellow with red highlights. Now thats a Color Rush I can get excited about. And if you complain about that because you’re colorblind well then tough shit; Thursday Night Football just isn’t for you then.

Barry Zito Surprises No One by Saying He Loves Music More Than He Ever Loved Baseball

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Yahoo – The former pitcher for the Oakland Athletics and San Francisco Giants has fully transitioned from a life in baseball to a life making music (he released his first EP of six songs back in January, and it reached No. 39 on the Billboard country chart),..Oh, and he laid down this blazing hot personal take on his post-baseball life. “I think I’m just genuinely more in love with what I do now than I probably ever have been.” That’s a bold statement for a guy who won a Cy Young award, went to three All-Star Games, and won some very important postseason contests — including a World Series game that led to a ring. But Zito’s career had a lot of ups and downs. He was left off the 2010 postseason roster, and that Giants team went on to win the World Series. He had some bad years, and didn’t pitch at all in 2014. Then he spent most of 2015 pitching for the A’s Triple-A team in Nashville.

Barry Zito is without a doubt in the Hall of Fame for mailing it in. This is a guy who had a couple of DOMINANT seasons for the Oakland Athletics, won a Cy Young in 2002 with that absolutely filthy curveball.

Then he cashed IN with a $126 million contract from the San Francisco Giants. In 2006 Zito’s deal was the largest contract for a pitcher ever (LOL David Price got $217 million 10 years later). Zito then almost immediately turned into a colossal bust, never lived up to the hype and ultimately became a bullpen guy for the Giants.

Which is gross to type because the Red Sox were apparently the runner ups for Zito and are now basically living out the same exact situation a decade later. Highest paid pitcher ever, underwhelming performance etc.

But anyways, with Zito he always seemed like a total surfer dude who just happened to be really good at baseball. Like if Johnny Utah hadn’t blown out his knee and went on to NFL stardom.

So towards the end of his career Zito was always seen playing the guitar all while shitting the bed as he backed his way into the last few years of his historic contract. In 7 seasons with the Giants he never ONCE had an ERA under 4 and had an ERA over 5 three times. Yuck, indeed.

Well good for that dude for doing what he loves and chasing the dream, not the money. Ya know, after already banking $100+ million dollars. Guy Moneyballed his way to the top. Respect.

Patriots Now Involved in Marshawn Lynch Rumors. Introducing the Not Fucking Around Crew

By on • ( Leave a comment )

I didn’t really buy into Marshawn Lynch coming out of retirement to play in Oakland. Guy legit seems to be enjoying retirement and not dealing with smashing into 300 pound men all day. But now I hear that Marshawn Lynch is interested in joining the Patriots? I am officially woke. I am back on Marshawn Lynch Watch because the Patriots are looking to build something special. They are turning over every rock to build the best team in the NFL. So whats to say the Pats don’t swoop in and get a deal done? This is the Not Fucking Around Crew.

Sure Lynch saying he’s interested in a team is not exactly the same thing as a team offering a guy a contract, but this is a wild rumor if nothing else. Blount still hasn’t resigned with the team and they didn’t offer Adrian Peterson a contract. They also don’t have a pick in the NFL Draft until No. 72 overall, but the Pats don’t typically draft runningbacks high anyways. With all that being said, there is a gaping void for a power back just waiting to be filled.

Am I a little hesitant about bringing on a guy who last played in 2015 when he rushed for 417 yards? Yup. Did he also destroy my fantasy football season that year? Yup. But if its Marshawn Lynch or LeGarrette Blount, Lynch is a clear upgrade. Lynch will be 31 by the time next season starts so this would clearly be a short term engagement.

Now all you need to do is convince Pete Carroll to trade Beast Mode to the exact team that had every person in the world clowning him after the Super Bowl a couple years ago. Simple enough task, I suppose.

Jeff Howe, who reported the rumor, calls it a long shot if anything, but it would definitely be fun to have Lynch on this Pats team. And for people saying he might not get along with the Patriot Way? Uhh, does anyone remember this dude’s press conferences?

Pretty sure he’d do just fine not saying shit to the media. Now for the obligatory highlight video of Marshawn Lynch dominating people with a football in his hands. Boss.

Dolphins Owner Throws Shade at Raiders Mark Davis Who Responds By Grinding His Feet Into NFL’s Couch

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – The only owner to vote against the Raiders moving to Las Vegas, Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross told reporters here on Monday that he believes Raiders owner Mark Davis did not use all of his options to get a stadium deal done in Oakland.

So yesterday the NFL owners made official, almost unanimously, the relocation of the Raiders to Las Vegas. Almost unanimous because the vote was 31-1 with the Miami Dolphins being the only team to vote against the Las Vegas Raiders. So naturally I shit on Dolphins owner Stephen Ross for being the turd in the pool.

But then something happened. Stephen Ross made a really good point that threw me off. Mainly because I’ve never heard an owner be that transparent and blunt about why so many teams up and move their teams; stadium funding.

“There’s very little public money available for teams today. And if you own a team, you should have the deep pockets to deliver.”

Stephen Ross throwing SHADE at Mark Davis for moving his team because he couldn’t afford a new stadium in Oakland himself. Had to go slumming in Vegas for a $750 million handout. Super, super waspy quotes like a shoving match at the country club, but hilarious nonetheless. FOH with yo broke ass, Mark Davis.

Ross is also probably just sour grapes because he just ate $500 out of his own pocket to upgrade the Dolphins stadium. I got a feeling that Mark Davis, the guy who sports a bowl cut, has meetings at Hooters and drives a rape van, doesn’t really care what Stephen Ross has to say. In fact I bet he’s pretty happy to have swindled a $750 million check to move his operation down to the desert. Davis’ response? Fuck yo couch, Stephen Ross.

Live look at Mark Davis:

NFL Owners Approve Raiders Relocation to Las Vegas 31-1

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – The Oakland Raiders will move to Las Vegas after garnering enough votes from NFL owners on Monday to relocate to Southern Nevada. The Raiders received 31 of 32 votes to approve the move, a source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter. Twenty-four votes were needed. The Miami Dolphins were the only team to vote against the move, a source told Schefter.

Talk about a lot of drama for nothing; the NFL just approved this controversial move 31-1! With the Dolphins being the only team to say idk about this guys. So now after what feels like years of speculation, the Raiders are officially moving to Sin City. Get me a Las Vegas Raiders hat STAT!

Now the brand new stadium on the strip won’t be ready for another 2 seasons so ironically the Raiders will still be playing in Oakland for the next 2 seasons on the baseball diamond field. So that should be a fun fan experience as the Raiders prep to get the hell out of dodge. But, if you haven’t seen the artists renderings that Sports Illustrated posted today, this place is gonna be sick.

Eat your heart out Stank Kroenke, you can have LA, the Raiders are gonna continue to be the bad boys of the league in the most diabolical city in the country; Las Vegas.