Tag: Olympics

Has Kobe Bryant Gone Soft? Says Team USA Will “Win Some, Lose Some and Thats Just How It Goes.”

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ESPN – Kobe Bryant thinks Team USA might have to get used to a new reality of losing in major events…”It’s not a matter of the rest of the world catching up to the U.S., it’s that the rest of the world has been caught up for quite some time,” Bryant said at the Wukesong Sports Center. “And it’s to the point now where us in the U.S. are going to win some, we’re going lose some. And that’s just how it goes.“

When I first read that my initial reaction was straight out of Kobe’s old commercial with Kanye:

You win some, you lose some? This is the Black Mamba for christ’s sake. The guy who still has a blood feud with Shaq nearly 20 years later because he’s so psychotically competitive he couldn’t get along with his own teammate, despite being in the midst of a three-peat.

THAT guy is the one telling everyone in the United States that “eh shit happens, the rest of the world is also pretty good so you might win, you might lose.” Has Kobe gone soft? Or is Kobe just trying to pump the collective tires of every other country he may do business with in the future? Maybe sell a few more Mambas in China if he makes it sound like he believes China can win Gold at Tokyo? Or maybe he’s just trying to Inception LeBron and Anthony Davis to get off their ass and *want* to win Gold. That would be some diabolical subterfuge that only the Black Mamba could pull off.

I spent years coming around on you Kobe so don’t you go soft on me now. I respect the assassin attitude so I refuse to accept this at face value. When we roll out the new Dream Team at the Olympics I will be the first one to give Kobe credit for planting the seed of doubt in everyone’s brain.

Team USA Better Assemble the Next Dream Team After This Disaster at the FIBA World Cup

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ESPN – The U.S. will leave the World Cup with its worst finish in a major international tournament, assured of finishing no better than seventh after falling to Serbia 94-89 in a consolation playoff game Thursday night.

The previous worst finish for a U.S. men’s team in 45 tournament appearances was sixth at the 2002 world championships. The Americans — the top-ranked team in the world — will be either seventh or eighth in China, depending on the outcome of their consolation finale Saturday.

Just a couple of days after getting bounced by France in the FIBA World Cup (Team USA’s first loss in 13 years, snapping a 58 game winning streak), they were officially embarrassed today, losing to Serbia in the consolation game. So no gold medal, no bronze medal, now not even a 5th place finish for the most disappointing Team USA in my lifetime.

I understand its just FIBA, I really shouldn’t care. Maybe I care more because half the team is made up of Celtics and it reflects poorly on my hometown team’s chances this season. Sure. Or maybe its just embarrassing for the US to send a team of kids and scrubs to represent the country before getting their teeth kicked in. This ain’t the 1980 USA Olympic Hockey team.

This team was in trouble from the second that Turkey game ended last week and we all knew it.

I also get that its become more and more popular for NBA stars today to obsess over their bodies and to manage their workload. The NBA season is long and LeBron can’t lead Team USA every single year, but where was James Harden or Anthony Davis? Steph Curry? Kawhi Leonard? Russell Westbrook? Kyrie Irving? Paul George? Klay Thompson?

Even guys like Kyle Lowry, Jimmy Butler, and Damian Lillard could’ve carried this team to gold. So its a tough spot to be in because the US is expected to win gold every single year, but we invented the damn game and have more than 90% of the best players in the world. I don’t think being the best is asking all that much.

USA Basketball better look at this as more than just a down year; its am embarrassment to the sport. I have enough embarrassment to go around from the US Mens Soccer Team, but at least they’re just not very good. The basketball team can and should dominate. So bring me the next Dream Team. Bring me an outrageous collection of talent and just run other teams out of the gym. Its time for the USA to re-establish its dominance on the hardwood.

Ryan Donato Leaves Harvard Early to Go Pro and Shine for the Bruins

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For the second year in a row the Bruins are leaning on a rookie just days removed from his final college game as the team enters its home stretch.

Last year it was Charlie McAvoy. This year its Ryan Donato AKA the kid who carried the USA Olympic team with 5 goals in Pyeongchang. Donato made his debut last night and despite playing his final game at Harvard less than a week ago, the 21-year-old looked right at home and notched 3 points in his NHL debut. Not to mention his first career goal came on an absolute ROCKET.

The kid can play. The Youth Movement is in full swing! Nobody is loving this influx of young talent more than David Krejci.

It would seem like the Bruins are doing their best to reconstruct the 2018 Olympic team that ironically featured 0 NHL players at the time with Donato and recently signed Brian Gionta.

I’ll admit it, I did not expect the Bruins to be nearly this good this year, but goddamn is this a fun team to watch.

The Hungarian (Californian) Olympic Skier Who Can’t Actually Ski is the Hero We Deserve

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Yahoo Sports – Let’s not beat around the bush: Elizabeth Swaney is not a good freestyle skier. She can’t do any tricks, can’t get any air, can’t do anything but go up and down the halfpipe like anyone at the local bunny hill might. And yet there Swaney was on Monday, one of 24 skiers competing in the qualifiers of the ladies’ halfpipe at the Winter Olympics…Well, if showing up is 80 percent of life, showing up for ladies’ halfpipe qualifiers must be at least 80 percent when it comes to making the Olympics. As Jason Blevins of the Denver Post explains, the international field for ladies’ halfpipe is not exceedingly deep. Qualifying for the Olympics involves recording a certain number of top-30 finishes in qualifying events and many of these events don’t even feature 30 people. So Swaney burned up the globe, attending qualifiers in places like China, South Korea, Italy, Canada and New Zealand.

Snake it til you make it isn’t just a motto I like to live by, its a creed. And that is exactly what our latest hero Elizabeth Swaney is doing here.

That woman does not belong anywhere near the Olympics, yet here she is on live TV just coasting down the mountain like someone simply trying to not take a digger after having a half dozen Sam Adams for brunch at the lodge.

The movie Office Space struck a chord with me very early in life and that message is any job is going to slowly put you in the grave. So do the bare minimum and save your mental facilities for more important things. Thats why this Olympic skier is the hero we deserve.

She completely gained the system. She was literally just showing up to these events and putting in the face time to qualify for the motherfucking Olympics. Apparently the rules state you need to place in the top 30 in a certain number of events. The only problem is a lot of these races didn’t even field 30 women and in some cases other people ate shit and all she had to do was not fall down to avoid a last place finish. And for that level of snaking it she was rewarded with a spot in the 2018 Winter Olympics. Bravo. After all that hard work she rewarded us with a show for the ages and I for one respect the hell out of that. Hate the player not the game.

The USA Olympic Curling Team Just Clapped Back on Kirstie Alley

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Who? Yea thats exactly what the US Olympic Curling Team said.

This has got to be the lowest of the low. Its one thing when a stud like Brad Marchand roasts you on Twitter, its quite another for a guy on the local YMCA curling squad to just eviscerate your entire career in 140 character or less. The worst part is they’re not wrong. And Kirstie Alley knows it. Name one thing Kirstie Alley has been in not named Cheers. You can’t. If you guessed Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, then you’re correct! If you also guessed the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air made for TV MOVIE (thats a thing?) then you’re also correct! There has also been bangers like “Fat Actress” and a one episode arc in Dharma and Greg too.

In all seriousness though, can we send someone to do a wellness check on Kirstie Alley? Someone send Ted Danson to go kick down her door just to be safe. Moral of the story? If I’ve learned one thing this winter, its that you do not fuck with an Olympics Curler.

Russian Olympic Team Hit With More Crushing Sanctions

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NPR – Russian athletes who compete in the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics must wear a simple logo that reads “Olympic Athlete from Russia” — and their uniforms can’t include other words or references to their home country, an International Olympic Committee panel said Wednesday.

The IOC’s Olympic Athlete from Russia Implementation Group released guidelines for uniforms, accessories and equipment two weeks after Russia was effectively banned from the upcoming Olympics because of a widespread and organized doping campaign.

That’ll teach ’em! I honestly don’t how Russia will ever recover from this humiliation. After running one of the most elaborate and sophisticated doping schemes in sports history, Russia has been totally banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics.

Of course, Russian athletes will still be permitted to participate in the games as independents. The IOC wouldn’t want to punish the athletes who signed up for steroids too late didn’t participate in the doping scheme. However, they will be allowed to compete only with severe restrictions. They will not be referred to as Russians; they will be referred to as “Athletes from Russia.” Huge distinction. Also, they will not be allowed to wear the color blue. They will only be allowed to display two of the three colors of the Russian flag. Incredibly demoralizing.

Tough but fair.

Image result for tough but fair saul goodman

Who negotiated this deal for the IOC? Saul Goodman? Team sports like ice hockey should be real a hoot.

“Who’s playing for the gold medal today. Is that Russia?”
“Nope! Just a group of guys who formed a team right before the games started, who all happened to be from Russia. What a coincidence!”

What a joke. Ban Russia entirely or admit that this is just one big charade. I WANT TO SEE PEOPLE UNDER PRESSURE!

The New USA Olympic Hockey Jerseys Are Here and They are…Not Great

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Drumroll please for the 2018 Team USA hockey jerseys…

Ehhhhh. These literally look like the jerseys the generic hockey players would wear in a Winterfresh chewing gum commercial.

These look like something the actor would be wearing in a Peppermint Patty commercial when he takes a deep icy breath after crushing a two pack of patties.

These look like a Minnesota Timberwolves practice shirt.

These kinda look like shit, and twitter dot com was not much kinder. What is wrong with classic stars and stripes? Just give me my dose of patriotism and testosterone with some stars and stripes and lets call it a day.

3-on-3 Basketball is Now an Olympic Event

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Business Insider – On Friday the IOC announced a number of new events that will be included in the upcoming 2020 Olympics in Tokyo.

Most notable among these new additions for basketball fans is the inclusion of 3-on-3 basketball for both men and women.

The 3-on-3 Olympic competition will follow current FIBA rules. Games will be played in the half court with a 12-second shot clock. Scoring goes by ones and twos over the course of one, 10-minute period.

The first team to reach 21, or whoever is leading at the end of the 10-minute period, wins.

Every four years, the Summer Olympics try to become a little bit more like the X Games. Which is strange because the Summer Olympics, love them or hate them, are a quadrennial colossus. I couldn’t turn on a television last August with out seeing a swimming pool. Meanwhile, the X Games exist to provide #content and programming hours for ESPN  during the dog days. The X Games could be permanently canceled tomorrow and I wouldn’t know one person that even noticed, never mind cared about it.

But 3-on-3 basketball? If the Summer Olympics can have regular volleyball AND beach volleyball, why not 3-on-3 basketball in addition to regular basketball? If Michael Phelps can win eight gold medals in one summer, why can’t Kevin Durant go for two? And at least I already know the gist of the rules as opposed to BMX Freestyle Cycling, which was also added for 2020.  I bet BMX Freestyle Cycling scoring makes figure skating scoring look like scoring the word CAT in Scrabble.

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The other thing 3-on-3 basketball has going for it is that it is quick. Last night’s Red Sox game took more than four hours. You could play a 3-on-3 basketball best-of-15 gold medal final in that same time. With 10-minute games and 12-second shot clocks, a game of 3-on-3 basketball will be quicker than a game of Madden.

My only gripe is the lack of the obligatory “win by two” rule. Rematch city. Which is why the gold medal round has to be at least best-of-seven. That would still only take about an hour. And this has to be played outdoors in 90 degree heat, with a chain link fence two feet out of bounds. Otherwise, why not just make the three-point shooting contest an Olympic event?

Wait, let’s not give them any more ideas.

Jerry Colangelo and USA Basketball Tell the Rest of the World to Get Their Shit Together

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Courtesy of Bleacher Report

Courtesy of Bleacher Report

Yahoo – “I’m all for raising the bar for global basketball,” Colangelo said. “The more interest in basketball on all levels, I’m for. I’m a lifer of the game. Basketball is the No.2 sport in the world. We just need to see these other countries get their acts together and become more competitive. I’m not going to be making any excuses.

Love it. The cockiest thing I’ve heard from a pro sports executive in a long time. Listen, did the USA Basketball team have a few tight games that reminded people of the disastrous Athens team? Sure. But did they take care of business and then absolutely dismantle Serbia in the GOLD MEDAL game? 100% So Colangelo has every right to tell the rest of the world to get their shit together.

“One of the officials said to me, ‘You oughta play with four.’ I said, ‘No, maybe the other teams oughta get their act together and compete.’ We’ve been helping in basketball around the world for 50 years. We’ve taught the world the game. We’ve taught their coaches.”

Basically telling everyone, hey we taught you the game 50 years ago, time to figure it out or we will continue to bash your brains in. Your choice.

It’s definitely awesome to wreck other countries on the court for years, hell the USA team hasn’t lost a game since 2006, but at some point it’s like playing Madden on Easy Mode. Sure it’s great to win, but it’s the challenge that makes it the most satisfying. Remember trading blows with the Gasols and Spain in 2012? That was a helluva game that made the Gold seem like we really earned it. This year it kind of seemed like the rest of the world just sucked and we showed up to the medal ceremony by default. But hey a win is a win is a win.