It’s rare that I deem an SNL skit as must watch these days, but thats exactly what Pete Davidson’s “Stu” sketch is: must watch.
Jason Bateman was a pretty good host because nobody plays the straight man in a skit better than him. So as this Santa and the elves sketch kicked off, you’re sitting there wondering what the hell is going on, then the Stan beat kicks in and it’s a wrap. I figured like most skits this would fizzle out in the first 30 seconds. Nope, it seems like Lorne Michaels and company let Pete Davidson just do his thing and we got three legitimately impressive and original verses in the Santa/Stan remix. As Papa Giorgio said, it’s the best musical sketch they’ve had since Lonely Island. The Eminem clip at the end was a nice nod to the original song. Also, shout out to Bowen Yang for his dead on Elton John.
Pete Davidson is such an interesting cast member on SNL because I feel like he rarely gets used in big time spots. He is often relegated to background characters, even if they are laugh out loud funny like his Count Chocula when Dave Chappelle was hosting. He might just be a hard person to write for, which reminds me of an old quote that stuck with me by Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, How I Met Your Mother, Freaks and Geeks):
“When I was like 21 years old and we had just finished a show called Freaks and Geeks, Judd Apatow, who made that show and a bunch of our movies took a bunch of us aside. What he said to me, actually, is, ‘You’re kind of a weird guy. The only way you are going to make it is if you write.”
A lot of these cast members probably just don’t get the prime sketches because it’s hard to write for them, which makes sense when the most famous SNL alum usually either flame out or were outright fired (Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Damon Wayans, Sarah Silverman, Robert Downey Jr etc). Davidson seems to have one foot out the door anyways as he dabbles more with movies written by, ironically enough, the comedy godfather himself Judd Apatow.
Deepfake videos are an absolute trip and probably will start a war one day. But as we do with all new technology in it’s infancy, we utilize it in utterly ridiculous ways until we figure out what to really do with it. When people truly perfect deepfakes and then combine that with machine learning audio, then we are all truly in some deep shit.
This Obama deepfake from a couple of years ago gets pretty close.
Until then enjoy the harmless fun of seeing the buddy cop duo of Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Holland dropped into a completely different cinematic universe together.
I remember I held off on seeing Thor until I had to no choice since it was a prerequisite for understanding the Avengers. Similar to when Iron Man first came out I had absolutely zero idea who the hell Thor was so I had pretty low expectations coming into this one. The story itself is a bit out there, but it presented the first opportunity for the MCU to really expand its grasp beyond that of Earth and it does it pretty well. It also does a great job of introducing SHIELD in a universal, nay galactic, role without totally shoehorning it into the movie. The highlight of the film though is definitely Chris Hemsworth, who was a complete unknown at this point, but became instantly enjoyable with his brash, aloof demi-god character.
Synopsis
Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, and Stellan Skarsgård as Dr. Selvig are storm chasing, looking to unearth some type of astrological phenomenon, when they end up smoking an unidentified person with their van, who we learn is Chris Hemsworth falling from the sky.
An Anthony Hopkins voiceover explains the concept of life beyond Earth, officially introducing intergalactic characters into the MCU. The Frost Giants are introduced as the original big baddie with a weapon of mass destruction. This blue cube looks exactly like a lot of other colorful glowing cubes in the MCU, but this is *not* in fact an Infinity Stone. It’s actually The Casket of Ancient Winters.
(The first reference of an Infinity Stone in the MCU won’t be revealed until the end of this movie actually.) So as the Frost Giants tried to take over the universe, including Earth, Odin defeats them (and loses his eye in the process…just like his son would also do years later!) and returns home to Asgard with the ancient relic for safe keeping.
Years later Thor is on the precipice of being crowned the new king of Asgard and Loki is visibly bullshit. But, wait! Before Odin can officially say the words to make Thor king the Frost Giants have “somehow” snuck into Asgard and they want their blue cube back.
We also meet The Destroyer, who protects all of Odin’s dangerous toys and subsequently kills the Frost Giant intruders. Don’t sleep on this guy because he’ll be back.
Thor defies his fathers wishes and goes to Jotunheim, home of the Frost Giants, looking for answers and starts a big old battle. Key scene here shows one of Thor’s warriors getting burned by a Frost Giant, yet when Loki gets touched his skin turns blue and we see the wheels start to turn in his head. The battle goes on before Odin not surprisingly has to come rescue the crew before banishing Thor for disobeying him.
I have to say, in the beginning of this movie, Thor sounds an awfulll lot like Prince Joffrey now that I rewatch it.
Full of arrogance, mean, and just itching to start a war before Odin shuts him down.
Back to Earth.
Along with Thor Odin sends his son’s hammer, Mjolnir, to Earth saying only he who is worthy of its power will be able to wield the weapon. (Not you, Loki)
In a direct reference to Excalibur (the director has a fondness for Shakespeare and such), Thor’s hammer lands in the New Mexico desert and people come from all over trying to pull it from the ground before SHIELD quarantines the entire area.
Natalie Portman has all of her scientific research confiscated by SHIELD and now that her and Hemsworth are acquainted, Thor promises to give her all the answers she seeks if she drives him out to the crash site where Mjolnir currently sits.
We’re also introduced to Hawkeye for the very first time in this scene as Thor tries to fight through the SHIELD base to get his hammer back.
How about Jeremy Renner? Remember when he was tapped to be the next biggest movie star on the planet? He was in The Town, Thor, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and the Avengers back to back to back to back. Thats four absolute heaters in a row he starred in before making the snooze fest that was The Bourne Legacy followed up by Hansel and Gretel. WHO IS HIS AGENT?
Unfortunately Thor comes to learn without his powers he is unable to lift Mjolnir, which is what finally breaks his spirit from the cocky warrior that he has been. Luckily Dr. Selvig talks his way into getting Thor out of SHIELD custody.
THIS IS WHERE THE MOVIE HITS THE WRAP IT UP BOX
Thor’s righthand men and women (Lady Sif and the Warriors Three) take the bifrost bridge and teleport to Earth as they look to bring back their rightful king, which Loki doesn’t appreciate so he send the Defender to Earth to destroy them all. Once Thor’s crew promptly gets their asses kicked, the Thunder God offers his own life to spare the others. His apparent death is the selfless act necessary to grant the return of his powers and Mjolnir. Thor then makes quick work of the robot from The Day the Earth Stood Still.
This is where things get a little confusing. Loki cuts a deal with the Frost Giants to let them into Asgard so they can kill Odin…so he can become king…I guess. Then despite opening the goddamn door for them, Loki kills the Frost Giant before it can kill Odin. A cunning trickster indeed.
Loki reveals his grand plan is to open up the bifrost to destroy the Jotunheim.
Huh?
His plan was to rescue his father and then wipe the Frost Giants out to earn his father’s respect and become the true heir. I think? By starting war and committing genocide, which Odin was openly against from the start of the movie and is exactly what got Thor banished in the first place.
I don’t know, this never gets explained very well.
I’m pretty sure the third act of this movie is used solely to set up Thor’s reason for even being around during the Avengers. To stop Loki, Thor is forced to destroy the bifrost.
Odin wakes up from his dirt nap and a defeated Loki lets himself fall from the broken bridge as we’re left to wonder where he went.
Apropos of Nothing:
Heimdall is still the best. It’s a shame how criminally underused Idris Alba was in the whole MCU.
Loki really is one of the best anti-heroes in comic book history. After learning of his Frost Giant heritage he flips out on Odin and gives us one of the most popular GIFs of all time:
The whole exchange gives Odin a heart attack and as he drops Loki cries out for the guards. Despite all the evil shit Loki does in the following movies, you can’t help but feel for the guy.
The Breadcrumbs of the MCU…
“I knew this scientist, the pioneer in gamma radiation. SHIELD showed up and he wasn’t heard from again.”
What Has Aged Well
The one liners still land remarkably well.
Thor walks into a pet store and yells “I need a horse.”
“That still doesn’t explain how he was able to tear through our defenses?”
“STEROIDS!”
“Is that one of Stark’s?”
“I don’t know, he doesn’t tell me anything anymore.”
Thor calling Agent Coulson “Son of Cole.”
Thursday = Thor’s Day
What Has Not Aged Well
It took me seven years to figure it out, but I finally realized why Chris Hemsworth looks so weird in Thor 1 compared to all of the other movies he’s in. They died his goddamn eyebrows for some reason in the first movie, but then never did it again.
Thor 1:
Avengers 1:
Thor 2:
Oh my god the product placement. I must have seen that 7/11 sign no less than 30 times.
Asgard has fucking TERRIBLE security as the whole realm gets invaded in 2/3rds of Thor’s standalone films.
The Frost Giants look a hell of a lot like the White Walkers. Thor came out a month after Game of Thrones officially premiered, so GoT technically got the jump. After 7 seasons of Thrones they have the icy blue look on lock.
Rating
Thor was the first pleasant surprise of the MCU. Iron Man was great, but we had literally zero expectations for that. Hulk was always a disaster so anything after the Eric Bana mess would have been good enough. Thor was the first MCU movie that I was actively not looking forward to at all. A space god with long blonde hair directed by Sir Kenneth Branagh, a guy best known for Henry V, Hamlet, and Shakespeare? Sounded like a recipe for a disaster, but ended up being very entertaining. Thor holds up surprisingly well seven years later and sets up the MCU to tackle stories beyond that of just Earth.
Let me start off by saying that Iron Man 2 is probably the worst film in the MCU. It bothers the living hell out of me, especially coming off of what I consider one of the best Marvel movies period, the first Iron Man. Ask most Marvel fans and they’ll probably rank this one near or at the bottom of their list which is totally valid. There are some incredible lows in this film, and i’ll do my best to break them down and sort them out for you.
Iron Man 2 is the 3rd installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released on May 7th, 2010. By all means, this is the first true step in building towards The Avengers, as it features Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson. To quickly summarize, Iron Man 2 starts off with Tony at the Stark Expo in Queens, NY. He’s showboating his Iron Man suit, as he often does, but it’s also revealed that he’s dying, poisoned by the very thing keeping him alive, his chest arc reactor. Watching on television somewhere in Russia, the sinister Ivan Vanko, played by Mickey Rourke, is working away on his own version of the arc reactor, based on plans crafted by his father and Tony’s dad, Howard. He ambushes Tony at the Monaco Grand Prix, debuting his alter ego Whiplash. This is met with curiosity from Tony’s rival arms dealer, Justin Hammer, played by Sam Rockwell. Hammer breaks Whiplash out of prison and hires him to build a fleet of Iron Man-like suits for him to win back his government arms contract. Vanko does build Hammer his suits, but is also secretly working on improving his Whiplash armor, very similar to the way Stark secretly built his Iron Man armor in captivity in the first installment of the franchise. The film culminates with a battle at the Stark expo, and with the help of Don Cheadle’s War Machine, Tony saves the day once again. Oh, and remember how Tony was dying? Yeah, he just magically creates a brand new element that has the power to save him. He’s really smart guys.
You’ll notice how I left out a lot of what happens in the middle of the movie. There’s a reason for that. It’s pure trash.
There’s so much happening in the second act of this movie that is painful to the eyes and ears.
Let’s start with Rhodey becoming War Machine because Tony Stark was too drunk in his Iron Man suit. Riiiiiiiight. Just try and watch this nonsense with a straight face. Also, shout out to a cameo by DJ AM. RIP.
“I want my bird.” Vanko insists on Hammer getting him his bird, and he seems pretty damn serious about it. Yet, later in the movie he gets a random bird and….
….it immediately gets bagged in hilarious fashion! Also, what the hell is with Sam Rockwell in this movie? He is insanely bad and overacting the shit out of this thing. Mickey Rourke looks bored to death at every turn, and that’s saying something coming from an actor who was pretty much blacklisted from Hollywood for like a decade before this.
I only put this here because John Favreau stinks at acting. Decent director, stinky actor. Also, are we really not supposed to think ScarJo is Black Widow? Why even bother trying to hide it and play this game?
Finally, I’d like to shout out to Kate Mara for being in this thing for a total of 30 seconds.
I honestly could go on and on and nitpick this movie to death. Iron Man 3 stinks just as bad which is kind of crazy to think that for as much acclaim this series has, it only really has one good entry.
My final review: 3.0 out of 10. I’ve included the trailer just in case you wanted to test it out yourself. Godspeed.
Stay tuned for our next entry in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, Thor.
A little over 10 years ago I walked into the movie theater with some friends. I had just finished my freshman year of college and was home for a couple of months. That summer promised some insanely popular movies, namely the second installment of the Christopher Nolan Batman franchise, The Dark Knight. To say that Iron Man was anywhere on my radar would have been a complete lie. While I always considered myself a fan of comic book movies, I was never what you would consider a die-hard. You have to figure, this was 2008, way before we were able to see what the Marvel Cinematic Universe would become. Hell, just a year earlier we were given the much maligned Spider-Man 3. It was a different time back then. So when I sat down in my seat in the theater that day, I had no idea what was about to happen. I was about to enter a world that would engross me for the next decade.
In case you somehow forgot, Iron Man started it all. We were introduced to Tony Stark, a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist (his words, not mine) played by Robert Downey Jr., who at the time was coming off a rough battle with substance abuse. The casting of Downey Jr. was definitely a bit out of left field, especially to lead what Marvel Studios hoped would launch a franchise. Keep in mind though, this was before Disney acquired Marvel and the distribution was still handled by Paramount. Suffice it to say they absolutely nailed the casting. I mean, could you imagine anyone else in the role?
To sum it up quickly, Iron Man follows Stark to the Middle East where he is conducting weapons tests for his company, Stark Industries. While overseeing the development, he is kidnapped by terrorists and instructed to create a weapon for them. Using his genius and the materials provided, he constructs a crude version of the Iron Man suit and unleashes holy hell on the terrorists. He escapes and returns home, set on changing how his company operates and with a passion to do good in the world. Naturally, shit hits the fan when his business partner, Obadiah Stane, catches wind of Starks’ plan to exit the arms dealing industry and learns of his Iron Man persona. Stane becomes Iron Monger with the help of Tony’s old suit, they battle, and naturally Tony wins and saves the day. After the credits, Nick Fury shows up to plant the seed of the Avengers initiative, and the rest is history.
I remember when I first saw the post-credits scene, I had no idea what Marvel’s plans were. In fact, I don’t think I had ever seen a post-credits scene before this point. Marvel then obviously perfected it, always leaving us hanging for the next installment. Where else do you see an entire audience stay in their seats through all the credits just to see a clip that will inevitably wind up on youtube the next day? It was revolutionary and changed the game.
So what did I like?
Robert Downey Jr.
I became an instant fan when I saw this movie. He was hilarious and believable in the part. The guy obviously had a great number of films before this and it encouraged me to go back and watch movies like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Zodiac (I also completely forgot he was in the underrated gem, Bowfinger).
Terrence Howard
Talk about shitty luck, huh? Howard played the original Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes (aka War Machine) who was later replaced with actor Don Cheadle. It’s not clear why he didn’t return, but it had something to do with a contract dispute. I thought Howard and Downey Jr. played well off of each other and was looking forward to seeing him in the sequels. No disrespect to the Cheadle.
The Plot
I really loved how self-contained the story was. At the time I guess it wasn’t really that important, but now that we live in a world where there are already three Avengers films out with a fourth on the way, it’s nice to look back at a time when the only hero in town was Iron Man. Now any time a Marvel movie comes out and it’s a stand alone film, I always wonder where the hell everyone else is and why they can’t help out.
19 more MCU films have been released since 2008, yet unsurprisingly, Iron Man still remains one of my favorite Marvel films. It’s been cool to see the evolution of the character over the past decade and I am just praying to god he doesn’t meet his demise in Avengers: Endgame.
Final Verdict: 9.0 out of 10
On that note, I leave you with this gem. RIP Obadiah.
OMG OMG OMG it’s happening and I am having a gigantic nerdgasm. So a few months back Disney acquired FOX, which I blogged about back in December, and after some anti-trust concerns, Disney finalized the deal. Now its been confirmed that Kevin Feige will oversee the X-Men, which is huge news as he is the president of Marvel Studios. Feige is basically the architect, the godfather, the puppet master of the $17 billion dollar industry that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He got people to see TWENTY movies over more than a decade and care about characters like Iron Man and Thor, who were absolute D-List superheroes back in 2007. Feige essentially created shared universes in cinema as we know it today. Very few, if any, movies were combining IPs to tie into one gigantic story across different franchises like Marvel.
Marvel’s success has only made the failures of company like DC and Sony loom even worse. Sony had a decent run with the first two Tobey Maguire Spiderman movies, but the third one was trash, and then they rebooted it with Andrew Garfield, which was trash, only to have it saved once they rebooted it yet again with the help of Marvel for the current iteration of Spidey.
Now X-Men has been much more of a mixed bag in terms of quality. There have been excellent movies like Logan, Deadpool, and X-Men 2 as well as some truly garbage ones like X-Men 3: The Last Stand.
Most recently they’ve run into trouble as two very publicly announced movies have been pushed back time and time again to the point where I don’t know if we’ll ever even see them. There was the Sophie Turner Dark Phoenix movie and the Maisie Williams X-Men movie, The New Mutants. Both seem to be stuck in purgatory, which says volumes about the overall quality of them both. I mean New Mutants already had a trailer drop a year ago for christ’s sake.
I think the biggest problem with X-Men though has always been seeing the bigger picture. The movies always jumped around without any bigger map of where it was all heading. They never really know where they’re going with anything aside from the one movie they’re currently in. Thats how you end up killing off one of the biggest X-Men ever in Cyclops in the first 20 minutes of X3 (spoiler alert) only to have Days of Future Past completely retcon the whole thing and fix it with some tricky time traveling.
See? Not confusing at all.
Now, enter the GOAT of universe building in Kevin Feige and we’re cooking with gas.
And thats BEFORE we even mention the inevitable crossover events. After Avengers 4 comes out next summer, a movie in which most expect to be the final film for guys like Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, and Chris Hemsworth, Marvel will be banking on younger players like Black Panther and Spiderman to carry the studio. Just imagine the possibilites with all of the X-Men characters finally available on the roster? It’s going to be truly amazing to watch. Plus they might even be able to reboot Fantastic Four, which was an absolute disaster.
TWICE.
So this is awesome news for fans of comic books and blockbuster movies. Everybody wins. We can start imagining the movies we never thought possible due to bullshit exclusive contracts.
The only downside? It took too long. The greatest character in the 11 movie history of the X-Men universe is dead and retired in Wolverine himself, Hugh Jackman. Unless….
The 300s 