Tag: Scott Zolak

BREAKING: Patriots Trade Brandin Cooks to the Rams for a First Round Pick

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As per usual, I have no idea what the Patriots are planning here. On one hand, it really is great, great value to get the No. 23 overall pick for a guy with one year left on his contract. On the other hand, great value aside… Tom Brady might blow a goddamn gasket when he hears about this. First Danny Amendola walked, now Cooks is out, Gronk is still hemming and hawing about playing next year, and Julian Edelman is coming back from a shredded knee. Not exactly confidence inspiring for a QB in his 40s.

The real question here though is; what do the Patriots have up their sleeve? The Pats rarely trade up into the first round so I FULLY expect them to trade down again for five 4th round picks so they can fill out the team with more Rutgers and Navy guys. But, if we want to have a little fun for a minute; what could the Pats realistically do with this pick?

Well they could turn around and give it to New York in a trade for Odell Beckham Jr. It was rumored that it would take a 1st rounder to pry ODB from the Giants and the Rams were the team most commonly mentioned in those rumors. Now with their first round pick in hand, the Patriots could effectively trade Brandin Cooks for ODB straight up. That would be fine with me, but of course that would open up Pandora’s Box of yet another guy bitching about his contract in the locker room.

Or are the Patriots potentially looking to package No. 23 and their own No. 31 pick to move up in the draft and take say…a quarterback?

I’m still driving the Johnny Manziel hype train, but I was just listening to Felger and Mazz and they took a quick peak at the NFL Draft Value chart and according to them these two picks would, in theory, be enough ammo to move up to No. 9 overall in the Draft. Now that…that is interesting. Are the Pats looking to trade up and grab my boy Baker Mayfield?

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Probably not, but Bill Belichick is nothing if not a sneaky and devious SOB so I fully expect this newly acquired draft capital to go to good use. So it sucks to see another one of Brady’s weapons, who I expected to improve in Year 2, leave the team but I’ll reserve judgement until we see what Bill does with the pick.

For what its worth Zolak seems to be thinking the same thing and I’d say and he’s *kind of* tapped into the team.

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These Are the Stakes the Patriots are Playing for in Super Bowl LII

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Its almost here. Its the last day of cube life before Super Bowl LII. We’ve had boots on the ground to bring you into the Super Bowl Experience, we’ve provided you with Patriots porn, we’ve got you ready to run through a wall for this team, now its time to really analyze this. What are the stakes? What are the Patriots really playing for here?

I for one will be leaving the office at 5:00 pm on the dot like one of the iron mill workers in the Simpsons.

Its officially Super Bowl weekend. Here are the stakes.

Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and Robert Kraft are going for their 6th ring together.

Tom Brady is already the all-time winningest QB, he’s already stuffed Joe Montana in a locker. Now he’s looking to take the all-time GOAT title from Michael Jordan. And despite what that walking hot take Doug Gotleib says,

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A win on Sunday makes Tom Brady hands down the greatest athlete of all-time. Big Z already laid out the perfect rebuttal.

Bill Belichick is playing for a fresh paint job on his boat.

Historic radio calls. If the Patriots win Sunday, they HAVE to play the Gil Santos audio right? Like Bob Socci and Zolak have to just turn off their mics and play Gil’s call don’t they? “BACK TO BACK, THREE OUT OF FOUR!”

Tom vs Time will win a goddamn Emmy if it ends with 40 year old Tom Brady winning the league MVP and his 6th Super Bowl ring.

Similar to 2004, the Pats are expected to lose both their offensive and defensive coordinators this offseason, so winning back to back Super Bowls would be a hell of a way to go out for Patricia and McDaniels a la Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis before them.

Do people realize that if the Patriots win it sets up an opportunity to conquer yet another NFL legendary record? No team in the history of the league has ever won 3 Super Bowls in a row? 19-0 will likely never happen and that absolutely breaks my heart, but winning back-to-back-to-back Super Bowls would likely never be matched.

The mental well being of the annual asshole who got the Super Bowl champions tattoo before the team actually plays the game:

Brady, Belichick and RKK getting up on that podium, accepting the Vince Lombardi Trophy and telling Seth Wickersham, Max Kellerman, Bart Scott, Dan Shaugnessy, and every other click-baiting miserable hater 4 beautiful words:

Conspiracy Theory Alert: Did the Patriots Host Adrian Peterson to Grease the Wheels on a Richard Sherman Trade?

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CBS Sports – The Patriots’ whirlwind of big offseason moves may not be over yet. After being mentioned in recent trade rumors involving Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, it appears that the team’s interest in his services is still alive. The Boston Herald’s Jeff Howe tweeted on Wednesday that the Patriots still have “some” interest in trading for Sherman. Howe was following up on candid comments made by Seahawks GM John Schneider regarding Seattle’s own interest in moving the super-talented (three-time All-Pro) but expensive ($11 million base salary) 29-year-old cornerback.

As everyone knows, there have been rumors floating around that the Patriots are interested in acquiring the Seahawks shutdown corner Richard Sherman. I would love to have a guy like Sherman on this Pats team, especially if they are debating dealing Malcolm Butler. Now lets unpack this conspiracy theory with everything else thats been happening the past week.

The Patriots hosted free agent Adrian Peterson on Monday, which was Peterson’s FIRST free agent visit of the offseason. Peterson obviously has his own baggage after abusing his toddler and getting suspended by the Vikings. So not surprisingly the free agent market has been a bit slow for a 32 year old RB coming off knee surgery with that kind of shit going on.

When news broke of Peterson’s visit to the Patriots pretty much everyone asked why? Runningback isn’t exactly at the top of the Pats list of needs, especially not one embroiled in a case like his. Even more so after Jonathan Kraft ripped the dude on the radio. So what could it be? As some have speculated, were the Patriots maybe doing his agent Ben Dogra a solid? Bring in AP for a visit to get the ball rolling and drum up some interest in the RB around the rest of the league? Sure, maybe, but still doesn’t quite explain it.

Then the Sherman rumors come out that he might be available via trade and the Patriots were one of the teams inquiring. And as Scott Zolack mentioned on the air today; who is Richard Sherman’s agent? Ben Dogra. Yes, the same Dogra that represents Adrian Peterson.

So sure its still an NFL trade for a superstar and the Pats would need to give up something to get something, but maybe Dogra helps steer a potential Sherman trade to the Pats after Belichick helped drum up interest on Peterson.

Its called quid pro quo guys.