Tag: Simpsons

28 Years Ago Today, “Homer At The Bat” Debuted

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Looking to kill 30 minutes at work after lunch? Well, The Simpsons episode of “Homer At The Bat,” which first aired 28 years ago today, can be found in it’s entirety right here. Arguably one of the best Simpsons episodes ever as it fell right in the show’s sweet spot during Season 3 when it was firing on all cylinders. (They even made a documentary of this episode!) It’s even more relevant to me today than it was all those years ago since I am now an older out of shape guy playing beer league softball twice a week.

In case you’ve forgotten what happened 28 years ago, Homer and his homemade bat help lead the Nuclear Power Plant’s softball team to the championship game. After betting on the team to win Mr. Burns hires an entire squad of MLB ringers to replace the roster. Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs, Ken Griffey Jr., Steve Sax, Ozzie Smith, José Canseco, Don Mattingly, Darryl Strawberry and Mike Scioscia all make guest appearances on the episode.

This episode had all time moments that I still quote to this day like Wade Boggs getting reamed out for his sideburns or Ken Griffey Jr. getting hooked on Brain & Nerve Tonic.

I was reading up on how the episode came to be and I guess they just recorded all the players lines over time when they were in LA playing the Dodgers or Angels. Apparently they were all cool except for Jose Canseco, who was a pill to work with and made the writers rewrite his scenes to make him seem more heroic, which only makes this scene even funnier.

This episode also gave us Terry Cushman himself singing “Talking Softball” in one of the best pieces of Simpsons created music not named “Planet of the Apes: The Musical”

Tesla’s New Truck Reveal Went About as Well as Homer Simpson’s Car Design

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TechCrunch – In what was one of the more surreal product launches I’ve seen, Tesla debuted its $39,900 Cybertruck pickup tonight. After running through some specs and hitting the truck’s door with a sledge hammer, Elon asked an on-stage companion (Tesla’s lead designer, Franz von Holzhausen) to demonstrate the strength of the Tesla “Armor Glass” by throwing a solid metal, baseball-sized ball at the driver side window…So they tried it again on the rear passenger window… and it cracked too. “Room for improvement,” Musk says with a shrug….”We’ll fix it in post,” he followed up with a laugh then moved on to talking about the car’s suspension. The video went private on Tesla’s YouTube channel about 30 seconds after the live stream was over.

“Oh my fucking god.” – Elon Musk

I literally laughed out loud at my desk watching this GIF. Sure this “truck” might be indestructible, it might have windows made of adamantium, but why even take that chance when you’re up on stage and streaming live to millions? The first version of everything is usually garbage. My first iPhone was an iPhone 4. I’m on the 6s now and the thing still got smashed.

Musk might be spending too much time with Joe Rogan if he thought his spaceship car could take a paper weight off the driver’s window.

The only time a new car presentation has gone worse was when Homer Simpson designed the piece of shit that put his brother out of business.

The 300s Got Its First Death Threat…Over My Review of the Buffalo Bills Stadium?

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Whats that saying? They don’t boo nobodies? Well thats how I’m going to take this one. YouTube commenter BuffaloMan can be the Newman to my Jerry.

I actually gave a pretty solid review of the Bills’ New Era Field, which you can see right here.

Had a great time watching the game, sight lines were excellent, stadium was intimate, fans were into it, overall a good experience.

I even met Buffalo’s prodigal son, William Fichtner!

The rest of Buffalo though?

I stopped by the Lids headquarters and I got buffalo wings from the place that invented them and that was pretty much all there was to do. Those are the facts BuffaloMan. Plus threatening my safety for joking about worrying about my safety in Buffalo is a bit ironic no? Dude has put my brain into a spin cycle. Touche, BuffaloMan, touche.

The Falcons Continue Their Assault on Overpriced Concessions With $5 Craft Beers

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ESPN – After peeling back prices on some of their most popular items last year to unprecedented levels, the Atlanta Falcons are ready to shock the sports world again with a $5 craft beer.

The Falcons will sell the $5 craft beers at their regular-season games — starting Sept. 16 against the Panthers — and any home playoff games. The craft beer price, along with all other concession prices, will remain the same next February when Atlanta hosts Super Bowl LIII at Mercedes-Benz Stadium, despite the traditionally elevated concession prices at Super Bowls.

God bless Arthur Blank. We may have dropped years worth of 28-3 jokes on you and your franchise, but goddamn if the man doesn’t know how to please a broke cheap football fan.

Last year the Falcons made waves for slashing all their concessions prices to absurdly cheap levels, comparatively speaking. While having much lower prices than their peers, the Falcons are saying they did more business so it seems to be worth their while. Now they’re doubling down on that and will be selling craft beers for $5 a pop. That is insane.

When I go to games at Fenway, I go to the last beer vendor by the bleachers, which the same woman has worked at every game I’ve been to in the last decade, just so I can get the sweet sweet deal of a tallboy can for $11.50 instead of $10.50 for a 12 ounce Bud Light.

True story: I’m a huge craft beer guy. I never thought I’d turn into the beer snob, but here we are. My dad never drank anything, literally anything, other than Bud Light cans. So I was always a Bud Light guy, when I could spring for it, or some cheaper light beer like Busch when I wanted to get blind drunk for $22 bucks.

With the explosion of craft beer and breweries being the only bar I can actually bring my dog to without getting the cops called on me, I gradually started drinking more and more obscure shit.

Started with IPAs, dipped into Sours, discovered that Double and Triple IPAs are a thing and before we know it I’m three sheets to the wind off a handful of beers.

Downside to all of these mega alcoholic brews though is the fact that they are expensive as shit. College me would slap 29-year-old me in the fucking face if he witnessed what I did at the packy yesterday. Saw the brand new Nightshift Double IPA (I’m on the email list NBD) at the packy and audibly gasped when I read the price tag for a 4-pack of tallboys.

$18 dollars.  Eighteen Dollars for FOUR beers.

You’re goddamn right I bought those beers.

And now we sit here going through bank statements and credit card receipts wondering where all my money goes saying things like “well if I cancel Netflix and my car insurance I should be able to cover rent this month.”

Fucking millennials, man.

Derek Jeter Just Crushed His Nephew’s Dreams

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So Jeter’s little nephew Jalen, who is internet famous for adorably tipping his cap at Jeter’s last game, asked Uncle Derek if he could wear his No. 2 when he plays for the Yankees one day. And Jeter shut that shit down REAL quick.

I think Derek probably has to work on the little kid communication a bit since he’s got one on the way. I give Jeets props for not lying to the kid but a hard NOPE in his face, probably isn’t the best way to handle that question. But hey, alpha males gotta let everyone know what belongs to them right off the bat so no one challenges them. Little kids are no exception. #Re2pect

PS – I didn’t want to include this but I had to. Any time there is a directly relevant Simpsons clip, my hands are tied. The internet gods would strike me down if I didn’t post it.