Tag: Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow: I Still Have Offers To Play In The NFL. All 32 NFL Teams: No You Don’t

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Yahoo – …..“Well, no. It wasn’t like that,” Tebow said. “I mean, I still have offers to go play other positions in … ”

Well what can I say, what the 300’s giveth, the 300’s taketh away. Because before I saw this and nearly spit out the water I was drinking (humblebrag, I hydrate quite a lot) I was pretty pro-Tebow. I think I wrote a bit of a hit-piece on something he did or said on here but overall I was. Let him do his thing. Sure the overly polite, always nice thing is a little much and pretty contrived, but he’s been a winner in all he has done, is set for life, and if he is given a chance to pursue another childhood dream of his, why not? Go for it kid. Then this pops up today and I kind of have to reverse course on Tebow. Because if there is one thing I simply can’t stand in this world it’s when someone completely lacks self-awareness. No sense of who they are or how they are viewed by the public. That is why some people have slowly turned on Tebow over the years. That’s why people have turned on folks like Brendan Schaub and my aforementioned least favorite person Justin Bieber – they simply have lost any concept of how people view them or what value they provide in people’s lives. In the case of Timothy Tebow, he provides value to approximately nobody’s life in terms of playing the game of football.

Now, I’m not calling Tebow a liar here, I’m not. I’m sure he has offers to “come to camp” or “have a tryout” or some other “we’ll take a long shot on you” chance. What he doesn’t have is offer to play. In the. NFL. There’s a difference. I’m sure the majority of teams in need of a TE or a FB or a personal fucking punt protector see it as a no-lose scenario to have Tebow come in and try out for that gap in their roster. It’ll spark public interest in the team, it’ll show their fan base they are “listening” and also trying to improve the roster, and hell, if he makes the team, the dollars will start rolling in faster than a crew of 20 year olds to a DayGlo party. With all of that said, this is an offer to TRY OUT. Come prove that you can do a damn thing to help us win a football game. Not an offer to show up, suit up, and go out there and play, because 0 out of 32 teams have any real confidence Tim Tebow can do that on a professional level.

So the question is: is he simply bragging in an interview, reminding NFL teams he’s still open to coming back (as a quarterback LAUGHING CRYING FACE EMOJI), or does he seriously think there are teams out there that are really hoping they can get his name on a 53 man roster? I honestly think it’s the latter, he just has that much self confidence, and like I said, as evidenced by a million interviews, a complete lack of self awareness. He probably has a lot to offer football in terms of coaching, mentoring, and analysis, but his playing days should just be considered over. Done with. Fin. For everyone’s sake.

After the Recent Hit Piece on the Patriots I Have Never Been More Confident Than I am in Them This Weekend

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ESPN – The Patriots are in uncharted territory. They haven’t just won games and titles. They’ve won at an unprecedented rate and over an unprecedented span, which makes the feelings of entitlement creeping inside Gillette Stadium unprecedented as well. The Patriots, in the only statement anyone associated with the team would make on the record for this story, responded to specific questions by saying that there are “several inaccuracies and multiple examples given that absolutely did not occur,” though they declined to go into detail. But according to interviews with more than a dozen New England staffers, executives, players and league sources with knowledge of the team’s inner workings, the three most powerful people in the franchise — Belichick, Brady and owner Robert Kraft — have had serious disagreements. They differ on Brady’s trainer, body coach and business partner Alex Guerrero; over the team’s long-term plans at quarterback; over Belichick’s bracing coaching style; and most of all, over who will be the last man standing. Those interviewed describe a palpable sense in the building that this might be the last year together for this group.

They Hate Us Cuz They Ain’t Us, indeed. I know we as Patriots fans say this a lot, but the media is routinely trying to drive a wedge where it doesn’t exist. Lets just state the facts. The Patriots won their division yet again, finished the year 13-3 with the No. 1 seed in the AFC, and are the favorites to win the Super Bowl with a 40 year old QB who will likely win the MVP. All after losing their top receiver in Julian Edelman and their best defensive player in Dont’a Hightower. Yet the entire organization is crumbling from within? All because Belichick had to trade a backup QB playing behind the goddamn MVP and Brady said some mean words to McDaniels on the sidelines? Fuck outta here. Its not paranoia if its true right?

So now the entire world is claiming the Patriots are imploding and that hack Seth Wickersham (author of the infamous hit piece on Tom Brady and TB12, which we addressed here) is reporting the holy trinity of Brady, Belichick, and Kraft will break up after this year. All because of some tension and some arguments? You know who has no tension, no arguments, and an easy job? Losers.

To top it all off, the New York Daily News recently reported that Belichick “wants to be the Giants coach.” So Belichick is going to jump ship and leave the organization where he became the Greatest Coach of All Time to go coach the 3-13 NY Giants? Who also have an ancient QB? He’s already the highest paid coach in the NFL with all the power in the world and the longest leash imaginable. The guy survived two alleged cheating scandals amidst 5 Super Bowl titles and 7 SB appearances, not to mention 6 (soon to be 7) consecutive appearances in the AFC Championship game to go along with 14 out of the last 15 AFC East titles. He’s gonna leave that just because he got into an argument with his boss?

With all that being said we still have a playoff game to handle this Saturday night as the Titans come to town and I could not be more confident that the Pats will blow doors. The Titans had an awesome comeback against the Chiefs, who blew yet another playoff game:

But in doing so have locked themselves into a matchup with the Patriots. Marcus Mariota looked like the guy who the Titans originally drafted out of Oregon before a broken leg late last year. The guy was laying game clinching blocks on defensive lineman, scrambling making plays with his feet and he was even throwing Touchdown passes to HIMSELF.

But if you think a second year QB who leads a self described “exotic, smashmouth offense” that relies on the running game is going to come into Gillette Stadium and beat Tom Brady and Bill Belichick then you are outside of your mind.

And Las Vegas seems to agree as the spread is set at -13.5. Two touchdowns is a HUGE spread, especially in a playoff game. The only other game this weekend with a spread larger than -4 is Jacksonville at (-7.5) Steelers, even though the Jags beat Pittsburgh earlier this year.

This game reminds me of the 45-10 dismantling of the Broncos and Tim Tebow in the 2011 playoffs where Brady threw 6 touchdown passes. Any other team that was surrounded by controversy in a bye week would have you worried, but with the Patriots its just fuel for the fire. Plus after this whole shit storm, Tom Brady Instagrammed this:

Pats by 17. Lock. It. In.

 

Miami Dolphins Considered Tim Tebow Before Signing Jay Cutler

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CBS Sports – Cutler wasn’t the only candidate for the gig, according to a report from Armando Salguero of the Miami Herald. Salguero reported on Sunday afternoon that Colin Kaepernick was also one of the quarterbacks the Dolphins considered…A name that will come as a surprise however: TIMOTHY RICHARD TEBOW..Tebow has worked with Gase before as well, however. Gase was Tebow’s quarterbacks coach in Denver back when Tebow and the Broncos miraculously stormed their way to a postseason win over the Steelers.

Guys we were THIS close to Tebowmania coming back to the NFL. If Tebow has proved one thing, okay maybe two, its 1.) he’s actually way better at baseball than people thought he would be and 2.) you keep you name in the spotlight long enough then teams will come calling.

I think thats the playbook of every reality TV celebrity ever. Basically just keep going on other reality TV shows until you either get called up to the big times and become a real, functioning actor like Jamie Chung or just cash in on your pseudo-fame by banking checks on shows like The Challenge. Thats what Tim Tebow has done here, except instead of collecting checks from MTV, he’s collecting checks from Minor League Baseball.

But seriously how great would it have been to have Tebow back on the field? Would have completely torpedoed his whole “I just really want to play baseball” argument, but we’d get the football jesus back. Tebow kneeled on the field before it was cool and caused a national hysteria.

The guy puts asses in the seats and Tebow will forever have a place in my heart because he helped me win my fantasy football league back in 2011.

Tim Tebow, You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

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Yahoo -After a tough start to his baseball career, New York Mets outfielder Tim Tebow is starting to knock the rust off. The 29-year-old added to his impressive stat line with the St. Lucie Mets on Sunday, belting a monstrous home run..Tebow has been putting up some strong numbers since his promotion. In 25 games, he’s hitting .317/.398/.549, with four home runs. He’s even managed to cut down on his strikeout rate. At Columbia, Tebow struck out in 28.2 percent of his plate appearances. That’s down to 19.3 percent now. His walk rate has remained stable despite the increase in competition.

Editors Note: I am fully on Team Tim Tebow. I have a Tim Tebow No. 5 Patriots t-shirt so Joey Ballgame is on his own here. #GoTebowGo

This is officially re-Goddam-diculous. From personal punt protector to AA Star. From a guy who was told to “shut the fuck up” when he tried to get his team to pray before the senior bowl to a .317/.398/.549 slash line after hitting .220 BEFORE he was called up.

My feelings for Tebow at this point make an apt contrast to my feelings for a one Conor McGregor, in case you don’t hear about him enough. I’ve stopped doubting Conor Mac and I love it. Anything he says he is going to do now I just sort of shrug and say “probably”, then laugh and smirk as people get themselves all worked up telling him he can’t. It’s a riot and a lot of fun. I’ve also stopped doubting Tim Tebow and I hate it. GTFO with suddenly being good at professional baseball you strange Jesus freak boy band lookin ass motherfucker. Do you not remember this spring training, mere months ago, when Max Scherzer made you look like a child? I hope you do. I hope you sit on top of toilet with a bat having a mental breakdown like Pyle in “Full Metal Jacket” just reliving that moment. Because I am getting sick and tired of this whole Tebow narrative. Fuckin evangelical Roy Hobbs.

Tim Tebow About to Get Promoted by the Mets?

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Yahoo – Tebow has gotten fairly hot lately down in the Sally League of late. Overall, he’s hitting .250/.330/.370 with two homers and 11 RBIs in 28 games for Columbia, but in his past 16 games he has an .849 OPS. It has the Mets thinking: According to a club source, there has been discussion about moving the former Heisman Trophy winner to a higher level within the minors, but such a jump likely won’t occur until after the All-Star Game in midseason. The next level up from where Tebow is now would be St. Lucie, which is high-A, but I bet if they promote him they’d send him to Double-A Binghamton. Partially to get him closer to New York geographically, but partially as a sink-or-swim proposition.

CHOO CHOO! GET OFF THE TRACKS! TEBOW IS COMING TO DOUBLE A!

At least, according to sources, the Mets are considering giving Timmy a promotion after a recent hot streak has him slapping the ball all over the yard. Is he “technically” only batting .250 in Single A ball? Sure. But maybe getting him up to Double A will really get the competitive juices flowing. Throw in a couple miracle walk off type plays and he’s a Met before you know it.

You know ESPN is already aroused at the thought of Tebow playing professional baseball in the Northeast. They’re gonna really wish they didn’t axe all those reporters when they need someone on Tebow’s lawn day and night this summer.

Joe Thomas Nails It On Why Colin Kaepernick is Still a Free Agent

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Joe Thomas is the beacon of truth in the NFL. He is beyond refreshing as a currently active and actually elite player speaking out on all kinds of issues. Obviously him roasting Roger Goodell on the absurdity of Deflategate created a whole new region of fans championing him. All that aside, I encourage every player to speak out, there’s nothing I hate more in sports than the bullshit canned responses from players that answer absolutely nothing. Regardess of how you feel about Colin Kaepernick kneeling for the national anthem doesn’t matter here. Joe Thomas hits the nail on the head as to why the former 49ers QB is unemployed.

Oh right, because he was on TV every single day. Not for highlight reel plays. Not for winning games. For personal reasons. And again whether you’re with Kaep or not isn’t the point here. NFL teams do not want to deal with media scrutiny, questions, protests, backlash etc. ESPECIALLY if you suck. If Tom Brady were drumming up all kinds of shit for, oh I don’t know, say an alleged cheating scandal, the team backs their guy or at the very least deals with it because he’s the GOAT.

Colin Kaepernick wasn’t even the best QB on his team while surrounded by bums like Blaine Gabbert.

So yea, NFL teams don’t want to hear any shit from a borderline starter in the league. But then Joe Thomas brings it home with the one thing that is true of all good teams, none better at it than the New England Patriots.

I think the whole “Patriot Way” thing gets blown out of proportion because of the Patriots level of success and their perceived arrogance. So when they go out and sign a questionable guy, everyone rails against them because apparently the Patriot Way means you only sign choir boys, when in reality it means you Do. Your. Job. The Patriots are a goddamn machine. We had assholes like Corey Dillon. We had bad dudes like Albert Haynesworth. We had media storms like TIM TEBOW. We had an (alleged) MASS MURDERER in Aaron Hernandez. Bill deals with it and moves on. No distractions. Just Do. Your. Job.

Being all over TV for a cause you believe in is admirable, but when you don’t have the leverage (being a good quarterback), then you aren’t going to have the same platform. Thats why Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job.

How Many of the 7 Deadly Sins Can the Mets Commit Against Tim Tebow?

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How many of the Seven Deadly Sins can the Mets commit against St. Tebow? Seems like a lot. Greed is right up there, selling Tebow Mets jerseys when he’s not even on the roster. Sloth maybe for running the guy out there, not caring he probably won’t make the team. Hell this NJ.com article has 5 non-roster invitees more likely to make the squad. Maybe Envy of other teams with successful project players? I can say for sure there is a shit load of Wrath from the fans for the Wilpons.

At this point I almost feel bad for Tebow. I mean if the guy wasn’t chiseled out of marble, world famous, Heisman winner and working a cushy gig on ESPN as a college football analyst, I would feel bad for him. Almost. This is starting to, everyone feign surprise, feel a lot like a publicity grab by the Mets.

Now I think it would be 1.) hilarious for Tebow to somehow actually crack the major league roster and become a contributing MLB player, but 2.) legendary as the only guy since Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson to play in both leagues. But from everything you hear out of the scouts, it seems like he’s a guy without a position who can’t hit a curve. Not a good combo in the MLB.

It’s a goddamn shame because the guy would have made a great H-back or Fullback in the NFL when QB didn’t pan out. But I can’t fault the guy for not wanting to develop CTE before he turns 30. At least we’ll always have the 2013 preseason when you were lighting it up for the Patriots, Tim. Never forget.

A Festivus Airing of Fantasy Football Grievances

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festivus

With Festivus coming up and after narrowly avoiding my first Sacko last night, I just wanted to take the time out for a proper Airing of Grievances for my once promising fantasy football team that went straight to hell. Below is the original team that took the field on Week 1; til death do us part.

QB1: Jameis Winston: The 13th scoring QB in fantasy this year. Look I’ve won titles with Donovan McNabb and Tim Tebow. QB was not the problem here.

timteboew

QB2: Philip Rivers: Traded him for a 2017 3rd round pick once my season was cooked. Draft board flexibility like you read about.

WR1: Alshon Jeffery: Decent stats, but was ultimately at the mercy of shithead Smokin Jay Cutler. Oh and ya know got popped for PEDs and missed 4 weeks down the stretch.

smokinjaycutler

WR2: Michael Floyd: – Shout out to my number 2 WR who can hold his booze just about as well as he can hold a football. On the verge of a breakout season in a top offense and he ends up with just as many drops as touchdowns (4) before being cut for getting a DUI. This was after cops found him piss drunk passed out at the wheel of his car in an intersection. Not to mention just 33 catches on 70(!) targets. Now, that is what I call Return. On. Investment.

asleepatthewheel

RB1 and KEEPER: Thomas Rawls: Coming off a beast finish to 2015 with 830 yards on just 147 carries for 5.6 YPC, Rawls was a sneaky steal with a 16th round pick as a keeper. Dude did break his leg though, which made it risky, but sometimes ya gotta race.


All the reports and draft experts pointed towards Rawls being ready for Week 1 and naturally he ran for a combined 25 yards in the first two games before ultimately missing EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING WEEKS. The guy didn’t put in a good game until Week 13. SAD.

RB2: Ezekiel Elliot: We good.

zekesalvationarmy

TE: Zach Ertz: Solid first game. Dislocated a rib. Didn’t have a good game until Week 9. God damnit.

Flex: Allen Hurns: 22b933b11f8c0890c6e8a1efed1046fe3f99a3aa188dd315d89cbaeb74b5ae7b

Flex: Willie Snead: Some weeks I score 30 points. Other weeks I put up a goose egg. Enjoy the ride.

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6 Bench Spots:

(IR) Danny Woodhead: BEAST. But got hurt again and submarined any solid PPR flex options for me.

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Jeremy Langford: Oh just a *total* asshole. A starting RB with potential solely because of workload volume alone. So what’s he do? Suck, get hurt and lose his job. Another draft pick nailed.

(IR) Shane Vereen: Hurt and missed most of the season.

(IR) Josh Doctson: I *also* drafted Breshad Perriman last year who *also* missed his entire rookie season.

(IR) Braxton Miller: A dart throw who had exactly one game with more than 4 pts and ultimately wound up on IR. Brock Osweiler is radioactive to offense.

Kickers and defenses do not matter so I will not address them.

Final Record: 4-9 for an 11th place finish

southparkweresorry

Tebow Going for Round 2 in New York: Godspeed

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Former NFL quarterback, Tim Tebow smiles during a work out for baseball scouts and the media during a showcase on the campus of the University of Southern California, Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2016 in Los Angeles. The Heisman Trophy winner works out for a big gathering of scouts on USC's campus in an attempt to start a career in a sport he hasn't played regularly since high school. (AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

SB Nation – It’s official: Tim Tebow is a professional baseball player, and he didn’t even have to sign with an independent league team to get there. The Mets made him a member of their organization by announcing a deal on Thursday morning, and Tebow’s next step will be to head to Instructional League in — where else — Florida.

Now I love Tim Tebow, but this guy has got to be suicidal. Signing with a New York team. Again. I know he probably wasn’t fielding a dozen offers, but you would think if you really want to make this work you may want to limit distractions or you know, horribly negative fans chirping you all day. Especially after already playing in NY once for the Jets. And that was an unmitigated disaster.

Maybe he’s a glutton for punishment, or maybe he really does just enjoy the limelight and wanted to be as close to the action as possible. Well, that should wear off after the 5th 9 hour long bus ride. Just watch that Michael Jordan 30 for 30 and you’ll be over it real quick. Best athlete of our generation and he barely hit over the Mendoza line.

Or you could ya know play fullback or something and be playing in the NFL every single week. Won’t switch positions, but I will switch sports. Hey, at least I can add to my collection of Tebow jerseys that I buy at Marshalls for $8 in a few months. Still got the Tebow Patriots shirt in rotation. Collector’s item.

Troy Smith’s DUI Arrest Makes Me Sad for His Madden Glory Days

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troysmith_madden
I’ve always had a fondness for mobile QB’s who enter the league and wind up as journeymen backups and I think that probably goes back to my Madden Glory Days. Pick a team with a fast backup QB and then wreck havoc on everyone. Now keep in mind this was before the Russell Wilson/Cam Newton/Colin Kaepernick wave of QB’s entered the league. This was back when the only starting QB that could really move was Vick, which obviously got worse over time. But take the Ravens, bench Flacco’s bum ass and insert Troy Smith. Go five wide and wait until you find the edge or just destroy people with screens and slants, basically just run the Ray “Voodoo” Tatum spread offense. I had roommates firing clickers off the wall because these terrible real life QB’s just dominated in Madden. Smith, Vince Young, Tebow, even going back to Doug Flutie’s Chargers days. Overall rating of 68? As long as your Speed and Acceleration are over 75, don’t give a shit, I will take you to victory. Poor Troy Smith, we’ll always have Madden even if that NFL career didn’t pan out like I had hoped.