Tag: Tom vs Time

This ESPN Tom Brady Documentary is Going to Break Me

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Talk about conflicting emotions watching this teaser for Tom Brady’s upcoming documentary, Man in the Arena. This is the type of stuff that was better than porn in my household for the last 20 years: The Brady 6, The Great Brady Heist, Tom vs Time. I could go on and on, hell I wrote a full blog about exactly this: A List of the Top Tom Brady Documentaries, Cameos, and Skits to Watch While Self Quarantining. Watching this now though is bittersweet knowing Brady is no longer a Patriot. Hopefully the NFL is able to play games this season, but even if they are my favorite player of all time is down in Florida and it’s not in a retirement home.

A lot of New England fans hold a grudge against Brady for leaving and while I am upset he left, I can’t hold it against the guy after everything he’s done for this franchise. He became the greatest player of all time with what amounts to two Hall of Fame careers, won 6 Super Bowls, and turned the Patriots into the most successful dynasty in league history. So if after 20 years of working for a hard ass like Belichick he finally had enough and wanted to enjoy himself a bit more, as a person I get that.

I can’t believe he’s partnering with ESPN for this though. Especially after the success of Tom vs Time on Facebook. On the one hand, if I was Tom Brady and the media brand that tried to smear my reputation and destroy my career multiple times asked to partner with me on a documentary I would tell them to go piss up a rope. On the other hand, Brady is trying to get his 199 Productions studio running at full speed right out of the gate and ESPN is is the Worldwide Leader so it makes business sense. I’d rather tell ESPN to kick rocks than go into business with them if I’m Brady, but I guess this is why I wouldn’t be a very good politician.

But my god get the tissues ready because this documentary is going to break me. I feel like my Perfect 10 girlfriend left me and I’ve just been avoiding those emotions for months pretending nothing happened. I advise everyone to take Bill Burr’s sage advice on how to handle a breakup and deal with the little things:

A List of the Top Tom Brady Documentaries, Cameos, and Skits to Watch While Self Quarantining

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Tom Brady will soon be holding up the jersey of another team and I fully expect that sight to make me weep and/or vomit. So in the meantime while we’re all self quarantining anyways, lets break open the Disney Vault and go through all of the best Tom Brady documentaries, cameos, and skits from over the years.

The Brady 6
If you’ve never seen this NFL Films doc, it is pure Tom Brady porn so make sure you do it alone. It details all the bums drafted ahead of Brady and how all their careers played out. “He has four goats” is still the greatest ether these ears have ever heard.

The Great Brady Heist
A relatively recent addition to the Brady archives, I just caught this one on FOX Sports 1 last night and it was *electric.* If you’re a fan of true crime docs then this one is for you because it details how TB12 had his Super Bowl LI jersey stolen right out of his locker after completing the greatest comeback in sports history and how the authorities got it back.

Tom vs Time
This is a quick watch as most episodes are only 10-15 minutes long, but this Facebook Watch exclusive was a fascinating look behind the curtain into Tom Brady’s every day life. His family at home, his relationship with Alex Guerrero, post game phone calls with Josh McDaniels etc. It also offered a now prophetic glimpse into Brady’s future plans as the shine wore off with Belichick.

Three Games to Glory (Take your pick)
These were difficult to find on the interwebs aside from a few clips here and there as they are the DVDs produced and sold directly by the Patriots. So you may need to pony up to see them all, but it never hurts to build out the collection.

Peyton’s Places with Tom Brady
The full 30 minute episode is available only on ESPN+ so you might not be able to watch it for free, but this was a great piece of content. If you still blindly hate Peyton Manning and can’t get past that to watch these two legends chop it up, you’re missing out.

America’s Game: New England Patriots
These are the NFL Network documentaries of the Super Bowl champs they do every year. I’m sure you’ve seen some or all of these, but holy hell are there a lot of episodes on the Patriots! Take your pick: 2001, 2003, 2004, 2014, 2016, 2018. My personal favorite is the 2001 episode, solely because it features a *young* Tom Brady sharing what Drew Bledsoe told him on the sidelines during the game.

Do Your Job Bill Belichick and the 2014 New England Patriots
Another masterfully produced documentary from NFL Films, this one breaks down the 2014 Patriots season. It’s definitely more of a focus on Bill, but you get some great Tom Brady highlights in there.

A Football Life: Bill Belichick
Again this is another NFL Films doc that focuses primarily on Belichick, but you get some delicious interviews and mic’d up clips of Tom Brady. Released in 2011, you get never before seen footage, most notably after the 2009 beatdown from the Saints on MNF, Brady is shown venting to Bill how he “can’t get these guys to play the way I need them to play.” It’s actually two parts, both of which you can watch below.

Detail: Peyton Manning on Tom Brady
This is another ESPN+ exclusive and is one I haven’t checked out yet, but Detail is an excellent watch if you’re into the X’s and O’s.

Entourage – “Fore!”
One of the best cameos on a show that had multiple per episode so thats saying something. Brady dominates in all facets of life including on the links and even befriending dick head New Yorkers. Check this Season 6 episode out on HBO Go.

Ted 2
Two words. Golden. Balls.

Jimmy Kimmel Skit
Matt Damon just can’t catch a break.

Saturday Night Live
Tom Brady hosted SNL once and only once, back in 2005 and he absolutely killed. Probably because of the times we live in now and the #MeToo movement, but the laugh out loud funny Sexual Harassment PSA skit has all been scrubbed from the internet. But I still found it.

Tom Brady Just Partnered With the Directors of THE AVENGERS to Launch a New Production Company

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For proper experience, press play on the music below and then read on.

Tom Brady’s first venture into the original content world, Tom vs Time, was excellent as it was an insightful, behind the scenes look at one of the greatest athletes of all time. Hell, even Jets fans enjoyed that mini series. My only complaint was how short the entire thing was. Six episodes that were each about 10 minutes long. By the end of it I was like a junkie looking for his next fix. Well, it seems we only need to chase the dragon for a bit longer as Tom Brady is partnering with the Russo Brothers, the directors of THE AVENGERS, to launch his new company, 199 Productions. You can imagine the excitement from the guys who spent weeks of their lives re-watching and reviewing the entire MCU catalogue last year.

Tom Brady + the architects of the MCU creating new original content together might literally tear a hole in the space time continuum with how good that sounds. With $22 Billion in gross box office sales over the last 13 years, the Russo’s know what their doing in terms of storytelling. The only thing missing from this partnership is Kevin Feige, but I won’t get greedy here. I would watch just about anything 199 Productions puts out there with the Russo Brothers.

I was hoping for a Tom vs Time season 2 at some point, but this seems like it will slide into that slot. Tom Brady’s *other* media production company Religion of Sports, which he co-founded with Gotham Chopra and Michael Strahan, has created a bunch of content, but most of it has been focused on random subjects like Steph Curry or soccer in developing countries. I need more Brady TV if we’re being honest.

Now is it mildly concerning that Tom Brady announced the creation of a new production company just days before his free agency begins? No…not at all.

Win or Lose Super Bowl LIII, Tom Brady Will Be Back Next Season

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With a tumultuous offseason that saw Tom Brady skipping OTAs and going on a world tour to promote TB12, coupled with the reports of tension between him and Bill Belichick, there was plenty of speculation that 2018 could be Brady’s last season. Don’t get it twisted, Tom Brady is my favorite athlete of all-time, but it would be a gigantic dick move to retire a year after essentially forcing the Patriots to trade away his young replacement in Jimmy Garoppolo. Brady was incredible last season; he was the MVP of the league and brought the Pats to the brink of another Super Bowl title in 2017, but it would be fair for fans, not to mention Robert Kraft, to be a little pissed if Brady left the team high and dry like that with no succession plan in place.

I never thought I’d see the day I wrote this, but it looks like Devin McCourty may retire before Tom Brady does. The GOAT seems to have outlasted yet another teammate a decade plus younger than him. Incredible.

Now, Brady has long said he wanted to play into his mid 40s, but he then released the mini-series Tom vs Time that literally ends with him openly questioning his love of the game and why he’s still doing it.

Soo it was naive at best, disingenuous at worst, for Tom Brady to wonder why people would question his commitment to the Patriots now. However, Brady put that to bed and triple stamped a double stamp this week when he told ESPN that there is a 0% chance he’ll retire after Super Bowl LIII. I don’t know about you, but I breathed a sigh of relief and I’m a guy that thinks Brady will play until he’s collecting social security. It’s just nice to know that when Sunday night comes and I am screaming and resisting the urge to kick a hole through my TV in what will undoubtedly be another stress filled game, it’s nice to know that I won’t also have to be worrying if this is the last time I ever see No. 12 on the field.

Will Tom play play until he’s 45? He’ll be 42 when next season starts, which means he’d have to play another 3+ seasons to hit that mark so I don’t know about that. But, he still looks better than the majority of quarterbacks in the NFL over longer stretches and is still the best in the NFL in clutch, gotta have it situations. So he should be in no rush to retire.

TB12 will always be there. Tony Robbins will always be there. But the NFL won’t.

So for now Tom Brady is still the King in the North and is my quarterback from this day until my last day.

What I Learned from the Tom Brady Tom vs Time Epilogue

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To be honest, not much. When news of this Tom vs Time epilogue dropped out of the clouds I was a little nervous. People were theorizing that he might use it as an opportunity to announce his retirement. What it really seemed like though was a PR market adjustment attempt by Tom Brady. This offseason was not a great one for Tom’s image as rumors of infighting with Belichick, rumors of him threatening to retire, all the Alex Guerrero drama, and then of course his buddy and TB12 client Julian Edelman getting popped for PEDs.

So it seems like Tom just wanted to put his spin on everything and let people know that despite all the noise, its just that; noise. He still intends to play for as long as he can aka “5 more years.” So we’ll see, but I don’t think that 5 minutes of Tom vs Time can make you feel anything other than confident Brady is focused on getting that next ring.

With all that being said…

There is TONS of fire flames TB12 swag in the pipelines that I can only hope is coming our way soon.

Did anyone else catch this?

TB12 SHOES. Sorry Kanye, but Tom Brady just became my lord and savior in the sneaker world. So you better believe I will have my eyes open and on the lookout for these babies.

And the 5 Rings hoodie?

Just take my credit card information right now.

Tom Brady teased us for years with the TB12 hats before we were able to actually buy them. Once they went on sale I did not wait around. I bought two.

What can I say, the man knows how to market. I will, however, NOT buy a vibrating foam roller. Come on now.

 

BREAKING: Tom Brady Announces New Episode of Tom vs Time for Tomorrow at Noon

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Breathe, just breathe. Tom Brady just announced on Facebook that he is dropping a new episode of Tom vs Time from the clouds tomorrow at noon. Why is he doing this? I feel like Ari Gold when Terrance came to visit him at home in the bar mitzvah episode.

But seriously, this show had a very definitive ending with the Patriots losing the Super Bowl and Tom pretty openly questioning his commitment to football.

It was a pretty controversial and was really just the beginning of a completely hectic offseason that featured infighting, rumors of both Brady and Gronk threatening to retire, Alex Guerrero got his groove back, with Gronk and Brady getting reworked contracts.

But there has been a cloud over this team for the better part of 7 months and now 4 days before the Patriots are set to kick off their 2018 season, Tom Brady busts his Facebook show out of the Disney Vault after saying time and time again he was done with Tom vs Time. Why?

On 98.5 this morning they were throwing out conspiracy theories saying that Brady may announce his retirement and that 2018 will be his last season. Or maybe he just wants to put his own spin on the narrative that got away from him this offseason after one of his favorite guys in Amendola left town, skipping OTAs, as well as his WR1 and TB12 client Julian Edelman getting popped for PEDs.

Who knows what the hell is going to be said on this episode tomorrow, but I suggest everybody take their lunch break at noon tomorrow with a pair of headphones and your iPhone.

Apparently Tom Brady Hasn’t Committed to Playing in 2018. This is My Nightmare

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So after my Patriots blog yesterday telling everyone to RE-LAX, Adam Schefter just told me to go get my shine box.

I’m just going to quickly summarize my emotions in the only way I know how because I’m a socially awkward millennial; using a GIF.

I don’t want to do a full 180 on my take from yesterday because I still believe everything I wrote, but that was also with me assuming the psychotically competitive Tom Brady would compartmentalize whatever bullshit disputes there were going on so he could get back to chasing Super Bowls.

But now Adam Schefter comes in from the clouds to ruin my Wednesday morning commute with a report that Brady hasn’t officially committed to playing in 2018. Does that mean he’s out? Of course not. Does this concern the shit out of me? Absolutely. With all the soap operas surrounding this team for the past 4-5 months, the reported power struggles, the alarmingly open ended finale to Tom vs Time; all of that has been building up and stewing. For a team that has always kept distractions to a minimum (they literally killed Tebow Mania in an afternoon) this, their biggest distraction ever, has only gotten worse. Typically when you keep sparking flint near a powder keg it doesn’t just resolve itself and go away. No, that shit usually blows sky high.

So if Brady comes back and plays then obviously no harm no foul, but the fact that IF he’ll play this season is even a question is a problem. What I really do not want to see this turn into is the modern day Brett Favre saga. That was painful to watch and you know it pissed off everyone involved. But more so, you just know Belichick will shut that shit down like he’s late on the cable bill if Brady waffles on playing. I mean the NFL Draft is next week for christ’s sake. Would it surprise anyone if the Pats said oh you’re not sure if you want to play? Welp we just traded up and drafted a new franchise QB.

Its like Bill Belichick is Arthur Curry

And I’m Bruce Wayne. “Thats not the saying.”

I would hate to see my favorite team and my favorite player break up over this high stakes pissing match just because Bill wouldn’t let Tom’s guru personal trainer into the locker room. This is on everyone by the way, I’m not blaming Brady or Belichick. Together they’re still the odds on favorite to win the Super Bowl. We’re all adults here so lets be better. Thats what they’ve done for 18 years.

Are the Giants Finally Souring on Odell Beckham Jr? Sign Me Up!

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ESPN – New York Giants co-owner John Mara is not ruling out the possibility of trading receiver Odell Beckham Jr., or withholding a contract extension, in the wake of a viral social media video that was posted earlier this month. Mara, speaking Sunday to reporters at the NFL owners meeting, said there is a “possibility” that the Giants will let Beckham play in 2018 on the final year of his rookie contract. Asked if it was possible that Beckham could be on another team’s roster when the season begins, Mara said: “I can’t answer that one way or the other. We’re certainly not shopping him. Again, when you’re coming off a season when you’re 3-13 and played as poorly as we played, I wouldn’t say that anyone is untouchable.”

Hilarious. After years of enabling, coddling, and placating Odell Beckham the Giants have finally had enough of his shit.

“I think too often he allows himself to be put in bad situations and needs to use better judgment,” Mara said in a stern public rebuke.”As I’ve said before,” Mara said, “I’m tired of answering questions about Odell’s behavior and what the latest incident is. I think he knows what we expect of him, and now it’s up to him.”

The pretending to be a dog pissing on the field:

The infamous boat picture:

Add in the most recent incident; a video of ODB and friends lining up “powdery white substances” and John Mara has finally snapped like the principal in Billy Madison.

ODB is a nutcase, he’s immature, he’s volatile, and he’s downright unpredictable. And I will take him on my team TOMORROW.

Absolute game changer of a talent. Despite his off field issues, its not like he’s ever done anything *that* bad. Just some excessive partying, maybe a little (alleged) recreational drug use, and some histrionics on the sidelines. I’ll accept that if it gets me ODB. Granted this dude probably has a shelf life similar to the one Randy Moss seemingly had everywhere he went. No matter how talented the guy was, after a few years every team eventually had had enough of him.

I finally got around to watching the last episode of Tom vs Time last night and like most of the Boston media has said about the finale; it didn’t make me feel great. Theres a lot of talk from Brady  questioning his own motivation and commitment and the trade off between football and being a father. Questions that quite honestly weren’t being asked so loudly by our 40-year-old QB even just a few weeks ago.

Whether its a leverage play or a money play or whatever it ultimately is, it reminds me and every Patriots fan in New England that this thing is just about over. The bar is closing. The bouncers may not be escorting you out the front door just yet, but the lights are on, and the last song of the night is playing. As we all come out of our stupor of having drank 8 Bud Lights (Super Bowls) over the past several hours (2001-2018) the question becomes abundantly clear. Where are we going next?

And with that long drunken analogy laid out, my point is the Patriots have painted themselves into a corner where they are unabashedly in Win Now mode. By trading your backup and potential franchise QB this is exactly what you signed off on. Now is not the time to carefully plan for the next 10 years. Now is the time to maximize your HOF quarterback and get any piece you can to help win that 6th Super Bowl. Bring me anyone and everyone that can help Tom Brady get a ring for his incredibly lonely left hand. Quite simply, no more half measures.

I wanted Aqib Talib. I did not get him. I wanted Richard Sherman. I did not get him. I wanted the Honey Badger. I did not get him. What I want does not matter because I don’t run the Patriots, but the Patriots are going to have to pull off a couple of big moves if they want to solidify themselves as the team to beat for one or two more runs at this thing.

Bringing in ODB would be exactly that kind of move.

I Have Legitimately Grown Emotionally Attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick

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I have grown so emotionally attached to Tom Brady and Bill Belichick I don’t know what I’m going to do when (if) they ever retire. It was similar with David Ortiz; I grew up with these guys. Sure I remember watching the Pats get their teeth kicked in by Brett Favre and the Packers in Super Bowl XXXI when I was a youngling, but I wasn’t really a fully functioning human being until a few years later. We’ve experienced the highest of highs together like 2001 when they pulled off the greatest upset in SB history, going back to back in 2003-04 with the addition of veterans like Rodney Harrison and Corey Dillon to an already stacked team. Of course the Malcolm Butler interception and the 28-3 comeback against the Falcons. And I’ll never forget the lowest of lows. As they say, losing hurts more than winning feels good. The 2007 Super Bowl and David goddamn Tyree who probably sells car insurance now. Mario Manningham and that ridiculous catch in the 2011 Super Bowl. Sigh.

And then of course all the teams in between: the 2006 AFC Championship game collapse against Peyton Manning and the Colts, the 2010 home loss to Ray Rice and the Ravens, the AFC Championship game loss to Peyton Manning and the Broncos in the 2015 season.

I think thats why I literally have found myself becoming emotional these past couple of weeks. Last year it was Tom Brady nearly breaking down at Media Day before the Super Bowl when a little kid asked him who his hero was.

This year its Belichick wearing his dad’s hat to Minneapolis.

The other night I witnessed Tom fighting back tears in his Tom vs Time series when Mr. Kraft gave Tom’s mother a Super Bowl ring as she’s been kicking cancer’s ass. So much dust in my living room.

Its crazy because I’ve never met these guys, but I feel like they’re a part of my family and THAT is why all of this will never get old. People say oh you’ve won enough let someone else have a shot. Not a chance. As the infamous Don Draper once said. I’m not happy with 50% I want all of it.

These Are the Stakes the Patriots are Playing for in Super Bowl LII

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Its almost here. Its the last day of cube life before Super Bowl LII. We’ve had boots on the ground to bring you into the Super Bowl Experience, we’ve provided you with Patriots porn, we’ve got you ready to run through a wall for this team, now its time to really analyze this. What are the stakes? What are the Patriots really playing for here?

I for one will be leaving the office at 5:00 pm on the dot like one of the iron mill workers in the Simpsons.

Its officially Super Bowl weekend. Here are the stakes.

Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and Robert Kraft are going for their 6th ring together.

Tom Brady is already the all-time winningest QB, he’s already stuffed Joe Montana in a locker. Now he’s looking to take the all-time GOAT title from Michael Jordan. And despite what that walking hot take Doug Gotleib says,

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A win on Sunday makes Tom Brady hands down the greatest athlete of all-time. Big Z already laid out the perfect rebuttal.

Bill Belichick is playing for a fresh paint job on his boat.

Historic radio calls. If the Patriots win Sunday, they HAVE to play the Gil Santos audio right? Like Bob Socci and Zolak have to just turn off their mics and play Gil’s call don’t they? “BACK TO BACK, THREE OUT OF FOUR!”

Tom vs Time will win a goddamn Emmy if it ends with 40 year old Tom Brady winning the league MVP and his 6th Super Bowl ring.

Similar to 2004, the Pats are expected to lose both their offensive and defensive coordinators this offseason, so winning back to back Super Bowls would be a hell of a way to go out for Patricia and McDaniels a la Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis before them.

Do people realize that if the Patriots win it sets up an opportunity to conquer yet another NFL legendary record? No team in the history of the league has ever won 3 Super Bowls in a row? 19-0 will likely never happen and that absolutely breaks my heart, but winning back-to-back-to-back Super Bowls would likely never be matched.

The mental well being of the annual asshole who got the Super Bowl champions tattoo before the team actually plays the game:

Brady, Belichick and RKK getting up on that podium, accepting the Vince Lombardi Trophy and telling Seth Wickersham, Max Kellerman, Bart Scott, Dan Shaugnessy, and every other click-baiting miserable hater 4 beautiful words: