Tag: Tormund

The 300s Breaks Down Game of Thrones S8E3 AKA The Battle of Winterfell

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

In what was one of the most anticipated episodes in TV history, Game of Thrones finally unveiled the “Longest Consecutive Battle Sequence Ever Committed to Film” with S8E3 “The Long Night” AKA The Battle of Winterfell. Similar to Season 6’s “Battle of the Bastards,” this was a military operation through and through. (This episode was directed by Miguel Sapochnik, who also directed “Hardhome” and “Battle of the Bastards”)We got less of individual heroics and more of armies legitimately going to war with hordes of people and wights (temporarily at least) getting slaughtered. It was violent, it was dark, and it was hectic. I’ve heard some complaints about this episode and to be completely honest I need to rewatch it to fully digest everything that happened in the episode’s 82 minutes. Needless to say the internet is divided; the NY Times says the episode “exceeded expectations” while USA Today complained about the cinematography calling it “too dark.”

It was the longest episode in Thrones history and it was packed with action so my feelings below are subject to change after I’ve had a little more time to sit with it. With that being said, lets break down the biggest storylines from S8E3:

For the Night is Dark and Full of Terrors. Mainly Dark Though.

I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I understand it was done intentionally for affect, but one of the first things I said at the start of the episode was this is difficult to see. And that was while I was watching from an almost completely dark room. So I get the thinking, but thank christ for the dragons and Melisandre adding some light to this episode or I wouldn’t be sure what actually happened.

House Mormont Goes Up in Dust

Lyanna Mormont goes out like a G and takes down a wight giant while weighing all of 95 pounds. She really did prove that “every man from Bear Island fights with the strength of ten mainlanders.” RIP Lyanna.

I do have a bone to pick with the way we handled my man Jorah Mormont’s last moments though. We all knew Jorah was not long for this world. He is the archetype of the aging knight who will die to protect his queen. The musical montage of Jorah fighting off wights left me wanting more though. Maybe its because I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Jorah. Maybe its because I am dead inside after having just watched Avengers Endgame right before this episode, but it seemed to be lacking. Maybe a line or two of heartfelt dialogue would have tied things up a bit more for me. RIP to Jorah Mormont one of the realest to ever take the screen and a character we’ll all remember forever.

The Dragon Battle in the Clouds?

This was tough to follow, but for people complaining about it; thats the point. It was supposed to be disorienting, hard to see, and anxiety inducing. If the Night King is just flying around in plain sight then 2 dragons>1 dragon every day of the week, so it shouldn’t be a surprise he was trying to level the playing field with outside factors. With that being said it was definitely tough to follow and at the end of the scene I wasn’t entirely sure what had just transpired, but dragon on dragon action is always sweet. For having a dragon for about a week, the Night King knew how to fly that thing 100x better than the Dragon Queen though and thats a fact.

Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon (or the Night King)

As I predicted in my recap of Episode 2 last week, we saw that the fire of a dragon cannot kill a White Walker. In fact it can’t do shit to them, at least not to the Night King who took a flamethrowing Dracarys blast to the face and came out grinning. It was really quite jarring and one of the most underrated scenes of the episode, one that I think people are forgetting. Thats exactly why I am telling people to back and watch this episode a second time before deciding whether you loved or hated it.

Khaleesi used dragon fire. Its not very effective.

Valyrian Steel though?

 

The Night King Gets Got

As my fellow blogger Giorgio put it; “8 seasons for the Night King to make it to the Westeros equivalent of Nashua.” Dude didn’t even sniff the Iron Throne.

Credit to @BuckeyeMike23

Apologies to everyone who bought the Night King Iron Throne pop figures already.

Arya has now solidified her role as the MVP of Game of Thrones. She had a slow season as the show meandered a bit with her story arc in Bravos, but it paid off big time. She has become THE most lethal character in Thrones history. She legitimately snuck up on a gaggle of White Walkers and almost knifed the Night King before he could even turn around. In what looked like yet another suicide mission, turned into one of the most stunning moments in recent Thrones history when she dropped her dagger and stabbed the Night King in effortless fashion. Arya has been working on this move for years and in fact is a direct call back to her sparring session with Brienne of Tarth in Season 7.

Incredible scene. We’ll get to what this all means for the overarching story in a moment, but holy hell Arya has skyrocketed up the Thrones Power Rankings.

Jon Snow Nearly Meets His End Again

I have to give props to the Night King for not falling to pride like we’ve seen Jon Snow and the realms of men do time and time again. Pride is a sin of men so it made sense for him to make the cold, calculated decision to rise the dead yet again rather than try and take on the greatest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms in a sword fight dick measuring contest.

He’s seen first hand what Jon Snow can do with a (Valyrian) sword in his hand so why take the risk? It’s reminiscent of when Jaime Lannister challenged Robb Stark after he was taken prisoner following the Battle of the Whispering Wood. He challenges Robb to decide the war one on one. To his credit Robb says, “If we do your way Kingslayer, you’d win. We’re not doing it your way.” 

Jon also nearly gets lit up by the Ice Dragon and essentially decides to give himself up and go out in a blaze of blue firey glory.

For a second I thought we might see Jon Targaryen showing his immunity to fire like a true Targaryen, but the Mrs. pointed out something critical. Way back in Season 1 when Jon saves Lord Commander Mormont from the wight, he grabs the lantern and burns his hand before throwing it at the undead creature.

A direct contrast to when Khaleesi, a full blooded Targaryen, grabs the dragon eggs off the hot coals and is uninjured.

WTF Was Bran Doing?

I understand that he is a cripple in a wheelchair so theres not much he can really do in terms of fighting, but he was particularly useless in this episode. Bran spends 45 minutes basically just worging around Winterfell to get a bird’s eye view of the action, while offering nothing in terms of actual help to anyone. I feel like there is something more still lingering in terms of what Bran is there to offer the story, but I can’t put my finger on it. At least we can dispense with the moronic “Bran is the Night King” theories finally. Right?

Melisandre and Beric Dondarrion Fulfill Their Purpose for the Lord of Light

In what was one of the most intriguing storylines in show history, the red priestess fully redeemed herself with a comeback for the ages saving the day with some incredible fire spells. You have to believe that Melisandre went back to Essos specifically to train at the temple of the Lord of Light. Now that she has fulfilled her purpose and died “in this strange country” we’ll probably never get a clear answer. Melissandra coming out of left field to light up the Dothraki’s swords and then the spiked trenches was an all time Thrones moment though. Thats before we even mention the pep talk for the ages that she gave Arya though.

I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by pointing out the source of Melisandre’s quote about death though. If you have to ask you don’t deserve to know. It really is crazy to look back on Melisandre’s storyline though; she’s been with Stannis, and of course when she first meant Arya back in Season 2 with the Brotherhood Without Banners.

Incredible.

Then we have Beric fulfilling his destiny and saving Arya’s life which obviously allows her to take out the Night King. It was some sick poetic justice though as Beric has been asked multiple times why the Lord of Light keeps bringing him back and he always answers, I don’t know. So for him to sacrifice himself to save Arya while on his 7th life was a valiant and fulfilling way for Beric to go.

Sam Gets Another Brother of the Nights Watch Killed in Edd

Jesus christ, Sam. Tarly better have another redeeming moment because he ignored everyone’s advice to stay off the battle field and when he couldn’t fight and need to be saved, which we all knew he would, Edd gets a knife in the face for saving Samwell yet again.

Khaleesi Gets Another Dragon Killed

Correction: The dragon is not dead, he can actually be seen in the preview for S8E4, which I missed in my post Avengers/post Thrones delirium. Carry on.

Khaleesi has to be the worst caretaker of Dragons to ever walk the Seven Kingdoms. And thats saying something considering her ancestors used to chain dragons up until they wasted away. What did she think was going to happen landing the dragon in a field of mindless, savage zombies? Well exactly what we all expected did happen and Khaleesi is down another dragon leaving her with only one. I think I get more emotional when a dragon or direwolf dies than any other human character does, but then again I am a total schill for animals.

RIP Theon

Theon goes out with honor and pays the iron price once and for all. Protecting Bran in the godswood was a suicide mission and everyone knew it. Kudos to Bran for having his first human moment in 2+ seasons and telling Theon the only thing he’s wanted to hear since he confided in Maester Luwin while wracked with guilt after taking Winterfell; “You’re a good person.” He killed dozens of wights to protect Bran while he worged around to essentially watch the action with a bird’s eye view and offer little in the way of actual help. After a lot of really cowardly moments over the past few seasons, Theon went out like a warrior trying to take down the Night King himself.

On the Lookout for the Fake Out

Maybe I’ve just become too used to the George RR Martin misdirection shock and awe storylines, but I refuse to believe this is the end of the story. I know the showrunners David Benioff and DB Weiss have veered off from Martin’s original source material a bit as they have passed the books, but he obviously has still given them the roadmap of how to get to his intended ending. So I just refuse to believe we’ve built up the Night King for 8 years only to have them go out just before the end of the story only to leave us with a battle for the crown. Maybe that was his goal the entire time? To truly have it all come back to a literal Game of Thrones? I don’t know, but I said it last week and I’ll say it again, if they kill the Night King and the remaining episodes are just a battle for the Iron Throne I will be a bit disappointed. Theres plenty of story left to wrap up still, but it seems like a missed opportunity not to mention a world of confusion to just let the White Walker storyline fade into dust like a Thanos snap. So I am on full alert on the lookout for the fake out. Whether it’s something as it relates to Bran, maybe the Children of the Forest make a comeback or maybe it’s not the last we’ve seen of the White Walkers. We’ll see next week, but its getting real now…theres only three Game of Thrones episodes left. Ever.

Valar Morghulis.

 

Who Lives and Dies On Game of Thrones? Predictions for The Battle of Winterfell

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Blogger’s Note: This probably containers spoliers/implied knowledge of things that happened through S8E2 of “Game Of Thrones”. So, if you have not caught up or just generally don’t like reading predictions I’d stop here. I will say I did my best to avoid using anyone else’s prediction or outside knowledge (the books, interviews with show execs) of the show.

As I start writing this it dawned on me that it is kind of ironic that this fight is now happening, as Jon Snow has been to an almost annoying degree shouting from the rooftops it would, before the battle for the Seven Kingdoms. We spent so much time caring about the deft political maneuvering and violent means to political ends in this show we almost forgot about the army of the dead.  As a matter of fact, we were so consumed with what the final outcome of the war for control of the realm, we probably did forget at times.

But here we are. The battle of Man vs. The Dead. Good Vs. Evil. And things don’t look so great, as we knew they didn’t. To reference a hero from a different classic of the fantasy genre, much like Harry Potter knew for a long time he had to die to kill Voldemort, we’ve known for awhile that many of the characters we’ve come to love would die in the war against the dead. It’s just how it was to be.

This is “Game Of Thrones” though. Predicting who is going to die when and why and how has always been about as easy as predicting which way a chicken will run after its head gets chopped off. I think we’ve learned a little though – there have been nuances, signs, and lines we’ve been trained to pick up on. For some audience members, there have been gut feelings they’ve been trained to either carefully listen to or harshly ignore.

Without any further fanfare, here are my predictions for the fate of many of our favorite characters. I’ve organized them into the following categories of post-Battle Of Winterfell status:

Definitely Dead
Probably Dead
I Have No Fucking Idea
Probably Alive
Definitely Alive

Now I know a philosopher would question the difference between the two “probably” categories”, but the difference is easy: I have an inkling either way. A feeling. Something deep down that is telling me either that that character is as good as dead or has a few more breaths to take.

 

Definitely Dead

Jamie Lannister – The show’s incestual first true villain gets to die a hero. I mean, he has one hand that he still can’t fight for shit with. This will probably play into Cersei saying the baby is Euron’s.

Theon Greyjoy – Like Jamie, Theon finds his redemption in death. Out in the woods guarding Bran, Theon’s newfound bravery will allow him to go out on his shield. One of the more complicated legacies the show leaves behind.

Edd – Other than Samwell Tarly, Edd is Jon Snow’s last remaining Night’s Watch brother who is given any recognition/a speaking part. It sucks he survived the attack on Castle Black for this but I don’t see him going any further.

Beric Dondarrion – With his last life used up thanks to Thoros of Myr dying, it’s curtains for Beric. Him and his flaming sword will give it a ride and it will unfortunately run out of gas,

Bran – Soooo this is an odd one because can Bran reallllyyyy die? Is he totally a mortal? He’s kind of half-man hald-Giver who answers questions likes he’s a teenager on mushrooms being questioned by a cop. So idk if “dies” if quite the word but Bran’s shit is getting fucked up.


Probably Dead

Ser Davos Seaworth – He’s notably noted that he’s notably bad at fighting 100 times. There is also just not much use left in the plot for the Onion Knight. The only reason I didn’t sail Davis past the “probably” and “definitely” section and straight to “I’m flying to Winterfell and killing him myself to put him out of his misery” is because the show has inexplicably kept him alive this long.

Sansa Stark – I just can’t see the showrunners deciding to throw this party and not give us one true, blue heartbreak. Sansa would be a huge one. The whole “the dead are coming but you’ll be totally safe hiding amongst a bunch of dead people” thing doesn’t help her chances. I could say the same for a few more but I have a feeling about Sansa.

Jorah Mormont – Another tough pill to swallow. Is cured of the incurable just to die this way. In an odd sense, his death is similar to Jamie/Theon in that he has definitely redeemed himself by giving his life, but IMO he’s redeemed by now anyway.


I Have No Fucking Idea

Arya – Arya’s whole storyline, if you think about it, does little for the plot. However for some reason I think the show keeps her and her still lengthy list in play for reasons I’ll get to later.

Tormund – Like Davos, there aren’t a ton of reasons they’ve kept him around this long except for comic relief. I could see this going either way, especially, like Arya, if another key character makes it. More on that later.

Varys – Yo where is he?

Ser Brienne Of Tarth – This one I’m the most unsure of in this category (not overall….). The amount of times she’s pledged her life to the Stark girls makes me think she bites it, but the fact that I’m not sure both/either/or die makes me wonder.

Tyrion – The loss of Tyrion would absolutely fucking suck. He has been the breakout character of the whole show. But in terms of those heartbreakers I mentioned before, this is another one I’m not convinced they don’t have up their sleeves. He also made a cryptic to comment to Jorah and I thinnnnnk Greyworm(?) about taking his job soon? At the same time, I thinkhis wit just might be too important to kill off.

Probably Alive

Jon Snow – It would seem unlikely that they’d kill him right after revealing his lineage, but in the past this show has taken “unlikely”, popped a few viagra into it, and fucked us with it. He could also play into the same reasons as Arya and Tormund that I mentioned I’ll get into later. I’m just not ruling Jon dying out completely.

The Hound – This is nothing but pure instinct. As I write this I now see him getting ripped to shreds a la Hodor but I’m sticking with my gut. They’ve kept him alive, time after time, for a reason and unlike poor Davos he can actually fight.

Samwell Tarly – Another gut pick but I think Sam serves one more purpose at some point, using his knowledge and bookishness.

Greyworm – Between Jorah and Greyworm, I feel like one has to live, for reasons below. I’ll go with Greyworm. I’m saying it now I’m least sure of this pick out of all of them.


Definitely Alive

Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons – Here’s the thing folks. This is episode three. There are six episodes total. EVEN IF this battle carries into episode four there are two + episodes left for a showdown with Cersei Lannister. So Man, as in Mankind….kind of has to win? Unless there is a complete and utter curveball where the dead wipe out the North and the rest of the show is White Walkers vs. Cersei? Anddd let me tell you the spinoff “Cersei” would be about as interesting and would work about as well as “Joey”. This directly relates to Jon, Arya, and Tormund and whether or not they live or die, as I alluded to above. If indeed mankind triumphs, why not keep Arya in the mix and try and cross a couple more names off her list when she makes it down south? Why not let the lovers/Aunt and Nephew go together? If Jon is still around he’ll need the Wildling army and to have that he needs Tormund’s influence. The fates of all those folks are intertwined.

That was emotional, I’m not going to lie. I have a buddy who is an actuary and I kind of feel like him right now. Hedging whether or not folks bite the bullet or not. But this is “Game Of Thrones”. This is what we signed up for. Valar Morghulis.

-Joey B.

 

The 300s Breaks Down Game of Thrones S8E2

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Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.

With only four episodes remaining in Game of Thrones I’m already starting to feel a twinge of sadness. This is my favorite show of all time, which I’ve invested hundreds of hours of my life into and in a month it’ll all be over. After that I don’t think TV will ever be the same. So with that being said, enjoy the final month of Westeros because when it’s over you’ll miss it. Now I’ll get into full on fanboy mode in a minute, but just so I don’t get accused of being a blindly loyal fan I want to touch on a couple of negatives. The biggest complaint I’ve heard about Game of Thrones’ final season thus far is that the first two episodes have been dull set up and full of fan service that rely on scenes of characters learning info that viewers already knew in some cases for years.

I’ve enjoyed the first two episodes, but I am a bit uneasy with 1/3 of the final season being devoted to setting the table and catching up with friends. I’m sure we’ll all look back and miss these moments when the final 4 episodes are just pure carnage leaving me an emotional wreck.

The one complaint I’ve had since the showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss diverged from George R.R. Martin’s books (because he can’t finish the damn things) is that the writing has become a bit more predictable. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched the entire show through 7 or 8 times, but I feel like I am hyper aware of the foreshadowing the writers drop in dialogue. Rarely does a line slip by in conversation like it would have in earlier seasons. After the Red Wedding we were all shocked, but rewatching the episodes prior to that you see little bread crumbs that Martin was dropping the entire time and you can’t believe you missed it. In seasons 7 and 8 when anything major happens I find myself immediately thinking well yea that makes sense because so and so directly alluded to that a couple of episodes ago.

Khaleesi is bordering on annoying in season 8 and I feel like its been so blatant that the showrunners are doing it intentionally. Similar to what I just wrote in the paragraph above, it sticks out to me a bit more when a character is really leaning into a plot line heavier than usual because it usually means the writers are trying to throw you off the scent (redemption, betrayal, upcoming death). Khaleesi has acted like an uninformed power hungry ruler at best and a catty new girlfriend bickering with her boyfriend’s sister at worse. Its completely understandable for a normal  person to be irritated with how things have played out for Dany with the North giving her whole team the cold shoulder. But that would be for a normal person, Dany is not normal. She has been bought and sold, raped, imprisoned, abused and underestimated at every turn. She’s one of the most cunning, ruthless, yet caring characters in the entire show. So for the showrunners to have her fuming because Jon’s sister didn’t initially like her, the North didn’t initially thank her, and to blame Tyrion for trusting Cersei (as did she) comes off hollow. Khaleesi would have expected all of these things so to have her lashing out at Tyrion and Sansa and Jon just seems odd, which is why I expect a total 180 out of her in the next 4 episodes. Just smoking wights with her dragon, saving lives, and being the leader that she’s been built up as for the last 7 seasons.

Now lets break down some of the biggest plot lines from S8E2. LETS GO

  • Jaime returns to Winterfell
    • It’s the first time he’s been back since he kicked Bran out of a window in the pilot all those years ago starting this whole series of events. Another one liner from Bran reminds us that nobody in that room knows how Bran fell except for him and Jaime: “The things I do for love.” Thats what Jaime said right before he tossed Bran from the empty tower. Catlyn and  Robb Stark knew, or at least suspected, but nobody else in that room was there for those conversations. Theon might actually know as well from his time on King Robb’s war council in Season 2, but he doesn’t arrive until later.
    • Again Khaleesi acts out of character seeming like she cannot wait to behead the man that killed her father, despite knowing the horrible things her father had done and planned to do to the thousands of innocent lives at Kings Landing. She shuts down Tyrion’s defense because of a clear conflict of interest, so it takes some serious character witness testimony from Brienne of Tarth to convince Sansa and save Jaime’s life.  Moral of the story is we’ve all done some shit, but we need to band together if we’re to survive the night.
  • Jon reveals his true identity to Khaleesi
    • This probablyyyy could have been handled with a little more tact, but as the showrunners said in the Ep 1 Inside the Episode, Jon’s not the fastest on the uptake. Never one to really play politics Jon just basically blurts out the biggest secret in the history of Westeros and Khaleesi is understandably a little skeptical. The past couple of seasons have also given us a bit more humor as well, or maybe it’s just my dry sense of humor, but Khaleesi’s response to the bombshell news made me laugh out loud: “Oh your brother and your best friend told you that you’re the real king? Thats convenient.”
  • Bran finally provides some sort of motivation for the Night King
    • It’s  been 7+ seasons and we still hadn’t received any real motivation for the Night King or the White Walkers. We know how the White Walkers were created, we know why they were created, but aside from the war with the First Men and the Children of the Forest thousands of years ago we don’t really know why the Night King is coming back or what he wants. Faceless and motivation-less villains are fine to a certain extent, but when you’re this close to the end and we still don’t know what the big baddy wants? Not ideal. Well Bran finally provided a glimmer of info in between  his fragment sentences and hints of clues like he’s the goddamn Riddler. The Night King is coming for Bran because he is the Three Eye Raven. If he can kill Bran then he can erase all of mankind’s memories and history and create a Long Night. As Sam opines, without memories to look back on, mankind never really existed at all did they?
  • Bran also threw some cold water on the Dragons>Night King expectations
    • It may have just been a throwaway line, but Thrones so rarely wastes words that this stuck out to me. Someone says “well won’t a dragon kill the Night King?” Bran aka the Three Eyed Raven says “I don’t know. No one’s ever tried.”
  • Lyanna Mormont still takes no shit
    • Sneaky one of my favorite characters in the show as a girl who might be all of 12 just spitting venom in the faces of the most powerful and well respected leaders in all the world. Also when Jorah tells her to hang out in the crypt away from the upcoming battle, the little lady from House Mormont basically tells Jorah to go piss up a rope. As Lyanna once said, every man or woman on Bear Island is worth 10 men from the mainland when it comes to fighting. We’re about to see.
  • The drinking circle and the knighting of Brienne
    • A very emotional and potentially foreboding scene. We see some of our favorite characters all together for the first time. As the showrunners said on the Ep 1 Inside the Episode, it’s easy to forget how much these scenes really mean because we as fans have been with these characters all the time for years, but these characters haven’t seen each other since season 1 in some cases. A fair criticism has been that his is all pure fan service and does nothing to further the plot. While I understand the criticism, I thought it was a great episode and was probably a goodbye for a lot of characters.
  • Sansa and Theon reunion
    • Not gonna lie, this one got me. It was a bit dusty in The 300s HQ watching Theon ask to fight for Winterfell and Sansa running over to hug him. Theon has done some terrible shit and he has paid some horrific consequences so to see him climbing up the redemption ranks was pretty emotional.
  • The Arya-Gendry sex scene
    • Look, I know its on everyone’s minds so lets just get on with it. This was probably the one moment that set twitter on fire more than anything else that happened in Episode 2. I get it, it’s weird because we basically watched this girl grow up over the past 7+ seasons. But we’re going to be cool with incest and slavery and whore houses, but we draw the line at this? Grow up Count Chocula.
    • Also, Arya is going to WRECK some wights with that dragonglass spear.
  • Tormund remains the MVP of GoT
    • Last week he stole the episode when he ran into the Night’s Watch in Last Hearth and Edd shouts out “Look out he’s got blue eyes” to which Tormund hilariously replies “I’ve always had blue eyes!” Well he remained the MVP of the show with another A+ quip about the love of his life, Brienne.
      As I sit here writing this though I start to worry about Tormund’s longevity. Despite the lack of returned affection from Brienne I could see Tormund sacrificing himself to try and save the big woman’s life. I might cry next Sunday.
  • Episode 3 is going to wreck me I can just feel it.
    • We spend most of Episode 2 preparing for the Battle of Winterfell as everyone is training, setting up defenses and traps, drinking, and even singing. It is the calm before the storm in the most literal sense. I wouldn’t be shocked to see Brienne, Grey Worm, and Jorah all bite the bullet next week. Brienne has finally become a knight, the thing she has wanted more than anything, so it would not be unlike Thrones to now axe her. Grey Worm’s talk of a future life with Messandei all but guarantees that will never come to fruition. Before the episode Jorah was my pick to be the emotional first killing, but then Sam gives him a vaunted Valyrian Steel sword and I figured that may buy him some more time. However, looking back on that conversation with his cousin Lyana about the future of their house, I feel a heroic sacrifice coming from Jorah to save the fiery young lady’s life.
    • I can feel a real sense of dread in the air with Thrones fans. We’ve all been yelling for more action and more Dragon on Ice Dragon crime, but we’re going to lose some beloved characters next Sunday and I don’t know if I’m emotionally equipped to deal with that. We’re in the homestretch now as Episode 3 will be “the biggest battle in the history of TV and film.”

Got any ale?

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1 Recap House by House

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Season 7 premiered this week with “Dragonstone” and after 6 seasons filled with dozens of story lines and hundreds of characters we’re starting to see the wrap it up box in full effect.

Time to start tying up some loose ends. That may have been the shortest GOT opening credits ever as we’ve finally got all the characters on one continent with only a few key players really left. Now lets sort through them, House by House.

House Stark

Arya with one of the most satisfying moments in the show’s history just straight up erasing House Fray in one shot. You knew something was up when the show skipped the traditional into to get started without delay. GOT only does that when a bombshell is about to be dropped.

And boy did they deliver. We’ve seen Arya going down a dark path for a while now as she’s crossing names off her list one by one, but this was her coming out moment. This was where we all sat back and said oh shit Arya is in play, this isn’t a neat little trick any more, she can seemingly take out anyone at anytime. So now she’s on to kill the queen in Kings Landing. At this point does anyone doubt she actually can? The real question is whats her plan? Its not enough to just kill the people on her list, Arya has a flair for the dramatics as we’re now seeing. Does she ultimately take the face of Joffrey/Tommen/Myrcella/King Robert to really drive the dagger home? Or maybe she borrows the face of good old Ned Stark to fully enact her revenge. The North remembers indeed.

Jon Snow kicked off Season 7 by nearly getting cucked by his sister in front of all the North bannermen. Sansa openly questions his decision to not root out the Houses in the North that didn’t support the Starks against the Boltons. You can see the simmering tension in the power struggle as Jon has been proclaimed King in the North, but Sansa is still technically the heir to Winterfell as a trueborn child of Ned and Catelyn. Sansa tells her brother she just wants a seat at the table and that he’s actually quite good at leading, but if they continue to butt heads does this create a bigger problem for House Stark?

 

House Clegane/Brotherhood Without Banners

The Hound is the first character shown enduring the face that Winter has come, alongside the Brotherhood without Banners. If you remember the father and daughter that the Hound and Arya met last season, ate with and then robbed, it was a green field in a pretty moderate climate.

So Winter is not fucking around and it is creeping south pretty dramatically. The Hound also seems to have bought into the Lord of Light after looking into the flames with Thoros of Myr and seeing the dead marching. After all thats been made of his fear of fire, it will be interesting to see how this plays out, worshipping a fire god and all.

Speaking of Cleganes, the Mountain got himself some fancy new black armor huh? It looks like Cersei has done away with the gold cloaks and donned the Kingsguard (technically Queensguard now) in all black. All black everything just like Cersei’s outfit, is it because she’s in mourning for her children or is she just a black hole of a walking disaster thats about to suck everyone down with her?

House Mormont

Lyana Mormont is still a goddamn G. The fierce little girl from Bear Island legitimately undressing the grown men with decades of experience on her and reducing them to humbled nods.

Jorah Mormont has a meaaaan case of greyscale that has gotten significantly worse. Last season it was like a little bit of eczema on his wrist and now his whole entire arm looks like one of the stone men. Seems like he’s banking on the old maesters, who seemingly don’t do much, to save his ass. Probably ill advised. Can’t be a coincidence that Sam discovered the mountain of dragonglass hiding under Dragonstone though. Maybe thats the ticket to his cure, along with being a White Walker killer.

House Targaryen

Khaleesi FINALLY lands in Westeros after 6 seasons of build up and she gets a pretty baller ass castle with ZERO resistance on Dragonstone thanks to Stannis. The mother of dragons is now firmly within striking distance of Kings Landing so I’m curious how long GOT will play this out. Stannis got from Dragonstone to Blackwater Bay in like 2 episodes, please don’t make this a chore guys. Its also the first time we get a real good look at Dragonstone, its throne room and the overall Targaryen design (chalk full of dragons!) to it aside from the Westeros table map we’ve seen Stannis hover over for years.

Brienne of Tarth

Brienne is still drilling and training Podrick how to fight, who is actually starting to look like a pretty legit swordsman. Tormund is still trying to get it in with Brienne too, telling Podrick he’s “a lucky man” when he sees them fighting. These two will be fascinating to watch this year. Can’t let Jon Snow have the only wildling romance in this whole series right?

House Baelish/House Arryn

Whats Littlefinger’s plan? As Sansa points out, “I know exactly what he wants.” Did Sansa promise her own hand in marriage to Baelish in exchange for the Knights of the Veil? Without his help, Jon Snow would have been toast at the Battle of the Bastards with the Boltons. We all know Littlefinger’s ultimate goal is to climb the ladder of chaos and sit atop the Iron Throne. If he could lock down Sansa, he’d have the Veil and all of the North behind him, but Jon Snow really threw a wrench into that plan in last year’s season finale with the whole King in the North shit.

House Lannister

Jaime seems incredibly weary of Cersei, and rightfully so, because she’s gone off the deep end. “‘Enemies to the east, enemies to the west, enemies to the south, enemies to the north.” Now these two must plan for WTF to do next because legitimately the entire world is coming down on them and soon. Jaime attempting to explain to Cersei the amount of danger their in:

Doesn’t seem like theres going to be a happy reunion between these two and Tyrion either who’s back in town with his new friends.

House Greyjoy

We see Theon and Yara with Khaleesi as they have devoted their ships to the Mother of Dragons, but I think it would be shortsighted not to mention Euron Greyjoy for rocking the first leather biker jacket in Westeros history. Seriously the guy looks like he fell into Bam Margera’s closet. Euron is trying to play everyone and Cersei is not having it. You don’t get verbally abused by Tywinn Lannister for 40 years without picking up some cunning. He mentions he’s looking to marry the most beautiful woman in the world; a queen. BUT, he doesn’t say which one. Keep your eye on this one, he’s officially your Season 7 wild card.

Side notes:

Get Ed Sheeran the fuck off my tv screen. One of the most out of place celebrity cameos ever. It was unecessary, but worst of all it did something Thrones has never done; it made me realize I was watching a TV show. It took everyone out of the show for a few minutes as they asked, why the fuck is Ed Sheeran a Lannister soldier. God that was bad.

Did we really need a 5 minute montage of Sam cleaning up bed pans and dry heaving? Sam and Gilly continue to be the worst story line in the entire show. At least Bran’s storyline got the wrap it up box treatment. Bran legit wasn’t even in Season 5 and then last year he’s traveling through time, talking to Ned Stark at the Tower of Joy 20 years in the past, going face to face with a White Walker and ya know getting Hodor killed. RIP. What has Sam done? Got into a fight with his dad, stole his Valyrian sword (definitely something to remember) went to Oldtown with Gilly and the baby and now is stocking a library and working as a janitor. Riveting. He better come back to Jon with the goddamn secret sauce on how to defeat the Night King.

If thats not enough Game of Thrones talk for you, then stay tuned because we’ve got a brand new segment coming your way real soon…