Tag: Troy Polamalu

Patrick Mahomes Links Up With Troy Polamalu for Commercial; Also, There is Zero Percent Chance Patrick Mahomes Knows Who Troy Polamalu Is

This is where I’m starting to show my age as a rapidly aging millennial like some sort of reverse Benjamin Button. Patrick Mahomes is a stud, a Madden cover athlete, and a guy that almost stopped Tom Brady from returning to yet another Super Bowl, but he’s only 23. Troy Polamalu is one of the greatest defensive players in the history of the game, but he’s only 38 years old (side note: how many retired athletes look at TB12 and wish they stuck to QB?) and retired after the 2014 season, 3 years before Mahomes was even drafted, and well past his prime of the late 2000s.

My point being, unless Mahomes was a Madden fiend there is a very real chance he doesn’t even know who Troy Polamalu is. Video games are the only reason I can name the top 30 soccer players in the world from 2009-2010. I like soccer, but Xbox and booze fueled FIFA tournaments are so burned into my brain that I still hear “Schweinsteiger!” in my head any time I watch a game.

…well after doing the math, Polamalu was the best safety in the game and NFL Defensive Player of the Year in 2010, when Mahomes was 15 so if he was watching ball in high school it lines up, but doesn’t make me feel any better about being 30.

The Son of Dick Ebersol is Launching a Pro Football League to Rival the XFL

ESPN – “While Vince McMahon promises to bring back a revamped XFL in 2020, a son of McMahon’s partner in the original short-lived XFL venture said his football league will come first. And some big NFL names will be involved. Charlie Ebersol, who directed a documentary on the XFL that aired last year as part of ESPN’s 30 for 30 series, announced Tuesday that his league, the Alliance of American Football, plans to debut Feb. 9, 2019, the week after Super Bowl LIII. The season will run 10 weeks and will have 50-man teams.”

Look at Charlie Ebersol go! Dude just got the jump on Vince McMahon and the WWE commish must be furious. Vince made the mistake of announcing a brand new football league and then buried the lede that it wouldn’t begin play until 2020. Ebersol on the other hand just came out and announced his new league, the Alliance of American Football, will begin play in February 2019.

AND he’s already got games lined up to be aired on CBS with legitimate NFL names like Bill Polian, Troy Polamalu, Jared Allen, and Hines Ward behind it. Ebersol also has Barstool Sports parent company, The Chernin Group, already on board. You know Portnoy is just salivating at the potential for content with a brand new football league that won’t shun him like the NFL has done for years. That my friends sounds like a goddamn plan.

If you didn’t watch the XFL announcement press conference, Vince basically did a one man conference call to announce the league and then refused to really answer any actual questions about how the league would operate, how it would be different from the NFL, where players would come from, or where we could watch games. Not exactly ideal for building excitement. I think its safe to say Charlie Ebersol one upped Mr. McMahon here.

To be totally honest, what I’m about to say, I say a lot so take this with a grain of salt. I am a junkie for football and will watch just about any football game you put on TV. I’ve watched DII college football, Arena Football, the United Football League, the CFL, NFL Europe, the FXFL. Hell I even texted my buddy last night saying that we have to go check out a Massachusetts Pirates game out of the world famous National Arena League.

BUT, I can’t recall really watching more than a handful of these games. It was awesome watching an out of the NFL Daunte Culpepper run around in the UFL in cities like HARTFORD.

After realizing he was playing against guys that couldn’t start on my high school team though the novelty wore off. So as usual this sounds like a great idea, but it will come down to the quality of play. The NFL has been a monopoly for a long time and its not because there haven’t been challengers. Remember the USFL? The goddamn President of the United States owned a team.

But without the talent people won’t care enough to watch. So I know there are tons of D1 players that don’t make the NFL; what happens to them? I guess if you cut all the fat from the NFL like Ebersol plans to do (no TV timeouts, shorter broadcasts, no kickoffs etc.) then you could create a supplementary product that I will likely watch with a 6 pack of beer on a cold March night. Because I’ll tell you, I am dying for some football right now and Madden can only satiate that appetite for so long. Give me all the football leagues.

Tom Brady to Grace the Cover of Madden 2018 at 40 Years Old

Alright now…how to react to this news?

A younger version of myself would freak out at the prospect of my franchise quarterback appearing on the cover of Madden because dudes used to routinely get injured after landing the cover. But TB12 put that to rest real quick with a few simple demonstrations.

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Smashed mirror? No problem? Walk under a ladder? Get that shit out of my face.

Lets get scientific about it though and break it down year by year, going back an arbitrary number of years because Madden 03 was the first Madden I actually had. On the PC no less. You ever try running go routes on a 12 inch computer screen? Holy hell, but I digress. Onto the list, with some help from Digital Trends.

  • 2003: Marshall Faulk has one of his worst years ever and its the beginning of the end of his career.
    • CURSE: In full effect
  • 2004: Michael Vick fractures his fibula and misses the first 11 games of the season
    • CURSE: 100%
  • 2005: Ray Lewis has a down year, but nothing curse worthy…he did tear his hamstring the following year though.
    • CURSE: Meh
  • 2006: Donovan McNabb was plagued by a groin injury before tearing his ACL later in the year.
    • CURSE: You bet
  • 2007: Shaun Alexander broke his foot in Week 3 that season.
    • CURSE: Prevails once again
  • 2008: Vince Young was plagued by quad injuries all year before being replaced by KERRY COLLINS.
    • CURSE: Continues to cruise
  • 2009: Brett Favre played pretty well actually before injuring his shoulder down the stretch and tanking his (and the Jets) effectiveness.
    • CURSE: Yea, not even including Brett’s cell phone pic troubles
  • 2010: Larry Fitzgerald/Troy Polamalu – Fitz actually had a career year, but Polamalu injured his MCL, missed a month and then eventually injured his PCL as well.
    • CURSE: 50/50 split but still yes
  • 2011: Drew Brees stayed healthy but threw twice as many picks as the year prior and the Saints lost to the first team to ever make the playoffs with a losing record in Seattle that year.
    • CURSE: Not reallyyy
  • 2012: Peyton Hillis came out of nowhere to have a huge year to land the cover of Madden only to battle illness and hamstring issues all season. Rushed for under 600 yards, the Browns let him walk after the season and that was a wrap on Hillis’ career.
    • CURSE: Yup, you sunk my battleship
  • 2013: Calvin Johnson set the single season record for receiving yards soo he did alright.
    • CURSE: Nope, Megatron shatters it
  • 2014: Adrian Peterson battled through a foot injury all year long and the Vikings only won 10 games.
    • CURSE: Yessir
  • 2015: Richard Sherman had a great season and stayed healthy…but they did lose to the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
    • CURSE: Nah, but we did get this legendary GIF out of Sherman’s season 

  • 2016: Odell Beckham Jr. has 1,400+ receiving yards and 13 TDs and is named to this second consecutive Pro Bowl.
    • CURSE: No shot
  • 2017: Rob Gronkowski played only 8 games last season as missed the first game of the year with a hamstring injury, then got on a roll, but ultimately hurt his back in Week 7 against Seattle and missed the rest of the season.
    • CURSE: Put the smackdown on Gronk

So by my scientific count, that makes 10 instances of the Madden Curse wrecking a guy’s season since Madden 2003.

But, hey this is Tom Brady we’re talking about. The 5 time Super Bowl champ who continues to get better like a goddamn fine wine. As long as he’s go his avocado ice cream and his shady health guru Alex Guerrero and his TB12 voodoo magic, I think Brady will continue to roll. You think the Madden Curse and mother nature can stop this specimen?

I think not.

PS – If something does happen to Tom this year I am going to go full Brian Mills on everyone that has ever worked at EA Sports.