Tag: Wizards

Dog Days of January Grab Bag Blog – 1.28.2021

By on • ( Leave a comment )

“Dog Days” is a term generally used for summer and I believe (completely assumed with zero context or sources) is a reference to a dog’s preference to just kind of lie there when it gets unbearably hot in the summer; a practice humans enjoy taking on as well. However I feel like that sort of mood applies to the January/February time-frame as well. It’s cold out. You don’t really want to go anywhere. Sometimes there’s a global pandemic you want to avoid. You’re wearing comfy clothes and relaxing on your preferred comfortable chair/couch. It’s just a lazy time of year.

With that said the blog don’t sleep, so Joey B. can’t rest. There’s a number of things worthy of touching on in the sports world and beyond. So let’s do just that, perhaps over a cup of hot cocoa.

Conor McGregor Dominated By Dustin Poirier

There are six COMMON outcomes for an MMA fight. Not total, but common. Each fighter can win by decision, KO/TKO, or submission (3×2=6). Going into last Saturday’s main event I would have said “Poirier-KO/TKO” would have been the fifth most likely outcome, only edging out McGregor by sub. Boy howdy was I wrong. He threw hard calf kicks to McGregor’s lead leg and he threw them often. He was flowing with his boxing and beating McGregor up. The Irishman never looked comfortable and didn’t seem totally sure of himself. This all culminated in a finish in Rd2. A big question before the fight was what Conor McGregor’s next would move be if he lost? Now that we’ve arrived at that scenario the answer is all the more fleeting. Speculators like myself have long said the third Nate Diaz fight would always would be there. I guess it is, but after watching the unsure, rigid version of McGregor we saw last Saturday, it just doesn’t seem as exciting of a prospect. The man himself angled for a third fight with Poirier, and somewhere down the line that has to happen. McGregor dominated the first, Poirier dominated the second. But in the immediate future Poirier gets to call his shot, be it a “money” fight with Nate Diaz or a title fight, for Khabib Nurmagomedov’s presumably vacated belt, against Charles Oliveira. Re-matching a man he just soundly defeated and is 3-3 in his last six MMA fights and 1-1 at 155lbs in the UFC doesn’t make any sense. It is a tricky conundrum indeed at this time to determine a match up could keep McGregor at the top of a PPV card while not finding him the vast underdog.

Deshaun Watson Officially Wants Out

As reported by Adam Schefter today, Deshaun Watson has officially asked for the fuck out of Houston and the Realm of Littlefinger Jack Easterby. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean his time in Houston is definitely over, but I can’t be the only one that feels like there is no turning back for the team or the player. This begs the question of what kind of package Houston wants for Watson. A lot of folks on twitter are saying it’s going to take an absolute haul of picks + talent from the trade partner + possibly some extra bodies for cap/contract reasons. That does indeed make sense. But what I don’t think can be overlooked is what Houston is losing here: their starting QB. What that makes me wonder is whether or not the Texans see some value in, or quite possibly were once enamored with pre-draft, a few of the young QBs that have fallen out of favor with their current team. There will be an unprecedented, to say the least, amount of starting/starting caliber QB movement this off-season. It’s not just Deshaun Watson seeking a new home. So rather than just looking at usual suspects when evaluating who may go after Watson, think of teams that may have both an interest in the Clemson product and a player to offer who could possibly take a shot at replacing him: Chicago (Mitch Trubisky), Denver (Drew Lock), New York-B (Sam Darnold), San Francisco (Jimmy Garoppolo), Philadephia (Carson Wentz). You get the idea.

Bradley Beal Becomes First Player To Lose Ten Straight 40-Point Games

What a brutal fucking stat and reality. I’m not the most gigantic hoops fanatic, but I’ve felt for awhile that Bradley Beal was a phenomenal player playing in the wasteland that is D.C. His talent is completey overshadowed by the ineptness of his franchise. Yesterday simply put an exclamation point on the end of that sentence. Ten straight games of scoring an absurd amount of points only to fucking lose. That just has to hurt. And we know it hurts, because it has become one of the internet’s favorite things to get a laugh out of poor Bradley Beal’s body language. Just head in his hands on the bench, thinking “what the fuck did I do to deserve to be here?” This has of course brought on heaps of trade speculation and knowing the Wizards he’ll probably get moved. Let’s hope the man can find some greener pastures. And some happiness.

Nerds On Reddit Defeated And Possibly Ended A Couple Of Hedge Funds In The Name Of GameStop

I don’t know nor care as much about this as I should but I’d be a dick if I didn’t mention it so here we are. Basically, a couple of large hedge funds (boutique investment firms that take big risks HEDGED (wink wink) by betting other money elsewhere in the investment world….or something like that) bet huge money that GameStop’s stock would tank. That makes sense because GameStop is failing and has lost money for something like 12 consecutive quarters. However betting that this will happen actually causes the stock to drop because, stock market. In comes Reddit and the whole crowdfunding thing and “investors” all over started betting ON GameStop, both to be dicks to the Wall Street dicks and also because if they could get the GameStop stock to go up so that THEY’D make money instead of the hedge funds. And Reddit won. One of the hedge funds might even have to close shop which is hilarious. Overall just a chaotic, wacky thing to have happen. Lots of nerds and woke people saying THIS IS WHY THE STOCK MARKET IS BAD. (Calm Down). It’s kind of like playing poker against someone who has no idea what they’re doing. You should be able to wipe them but with ignorance of the game comes their inability to know what a bluff is etc. and they kill you, much to you and your liver’s chagrin.

Drake Pushes Back Album Release Due To Torn ACL

I have no idea why I am so fascinated by this story. There will be no touring for the foreseeable future so it isn’t like Drizzy was smartly avoiding a loss of income. Was he going to celebrate the release of “Certified Lover Boy” on a trampoline? Has having a home gym + quarantine brain actually made him believe he’s a pro-athlete? I’m not sure. I just know that with the fluidity with which music is created and release these days it doesn’t make sense that Wheelchair Jimmy had to delay his album release for a bum knee.

-Joey B.

Washington Wizards to Offer Sports Gambling Broadcasts. Will My Attention Span Allow It?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – The future of sports-betting-infused game broadcasts will be on display Friday, when the Washington Wizards host the Milwaukee Bucks. NBC Sports Washington Plus will produce an alternate broadcast for the Bucks-Wizards game that will feature a free-to-play predictive contest with a $500 prize, along with real-time sports-betting data and statistics that will be displayed on-screen throughout the broadcast. 

The predictive contest, “Predict the Game,” will ask approximately 30 questions throughout the game, such as: “Will Wizards forward Trevor Ariza score 10 or more points in the first half?” In addition, odds, point spreads and over/unders will be shown on broadcast graphics.

Inject this into my veins.

The only problem I can see with this is I already spend 75% of my time watching a game looking at Twitter. I can literally be looking up stats about the game, chirping opposing fans, or just tweeting out videos like the one of the Bears mascot literally dying on the field.

But that speaks to a larger issue with people as a whole; massive fragmentation of attention. This is the one area where Millennials really *are* the worst, albeit with good intentions.

We all try and do as many things as possible at once. We are masters of multitasking. We grew up with video games that required you to sneak past 20 armed guards, snipe a moving target’s face off from half a mile away, then escape an enemy base, all while collecting the necessary pieces of intel and disabling communications for enemy reinforcements. So anytime someone’s mom tries to tell me that video games are bad for kids I tell them to KICK ROCKS. Video games are the REASON I am able to focus on so many different objectives and deliverables all at once.

However, the downside of that is with my attention being pulled in so many directions I simply cannot sit down and do just one thing anymore. I can’t even tell you the last time I sat down and watched an entire game without picking up my phone or laptop. I guess high school? But even then you were IM-ing your buddies. It’s honestly like I graduated to better drugs because while in hindsight AIM wasn’t that great, I *still* get a rush of dopamine to the brain when I see this:

So am I excited for a gambling focused broadcast? Hell yes, in fact I’ve said for years that NFL games need to have alternative broadcasts featuring just a couple of guys f-bombing the coaches for bad decisions in between play-by-play. It would be like watching a game with your buddies, provide a little levity to sporting events that are already too serious at times, and ratchet up the entertainment value all at the same time. Would you rather watch that or Dan Fouts trying to remember where he left his keys?

Now THAT Was a Game 7

By on • ( Leave a comment )

What. A. Game.

Now that was a goddamn Game 7. That my friends is what we in the business call an emotional roller coaster. Isaiah doing Isaiah things, Marcus Smart coming back from the dead to hit a couple 3’s and play his usual ferocious defense, and of course Kelly “Maple Jordan” Olynyk.

Seriously, holy shit, the awkward Canadian 7 footer just carried the Celtics to the Eastern Conference Finals with 26 points off the bench in Game 7. The guy was all awkward euro steps and scoop shots while consistently draining the 3 ball all night.

I have to admit I have given Olynyk my fair share of shit this season so I did not see this coming. I don’t think anyone did. Danny Ainge hoped for it, if only to get a 1-day reprieve of people reminding him he drafted Oynyk over this guy:

Giannis Antetokounmpo. The Greek Freak. But I digress.

Celtics were up, they were down, leading by double digits late in the fourth, only to see the Wizards claw back on the shoulders of Bradley Beal. Seriously Beal is an absolute baller who was putting the fear of God in me down the stretch. That guy can hit from just about anywhere. No thanks to John Wall, who seemingly used up all his turbo power in Game 6 because he ate a dick down the stretch shooting 0-11 over the final 19 minutes.

I laughed.

I cried

I nearly smashed my TV.

But thats what great teams do, they fall down and then they pick themselves back up.

And not to mention WE GET THE NBA DRAFT LOTTERY TONIGHT (Thank you Brooklyn). I feel like a kid with one Jewish parent and one Catholic parent and I get to celebrate BOTH Hanukkah AND Christmas. The best of both worlds. On back to back nights. Unless the Celtics get fisted by the ping pong balls again. Hell, even Markelle Fultz wants it to happen.

See you Wednesday night, Bron Bron.

Celtics Continue the Trend and Blowout Wizards. Now One Win Away from Eastern Conference Finals

By on • ( Leave a comment )


It really is insane how neither the Celtics nor the Wizards can win a game against each other unless they’re at home. For whatever reason these teams are both 9-0 against each other when at home and 0-9 when on the road this season. And its not even close.

  • Game 1 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 – Wizards 111
  • Game 2 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 129 -Wizards 119 (OT)
  • Game 3 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 89 -Wizards 116
  • Game 4 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 102 -Wizards 121
  • Game 5 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 -Wizards 101

The closest game there was decided by 10 points with the largest deficit being a 27 point blowout by the Wizards in Washington. This series is literally defining home court advantage. Home court/home field advantage is such an exaggerated thing in sports most of the time. Sure in baseball you get the right of last refusal in the bottom of the 9th, but most sports it typically doesn’t make a huge difference. But my god am I glad the Celtics will host a potential Game 7 in Boston. It seems destined to get there. I don’t know how teams can routinely trade blowouts, you just don’t ever see it. The Celtics ran the Wizards out of the goddamn gym last night though and I think I know why.

Can’t let down Mr. Kraft and the entire Patriots organization when they’re sitting front row.

Avery Bradley had 25 in the first half for christ sake. The guy was on a roll, hip pointers and all, legit throwing up HEAT CHECKS.

Even Brad Stevens was having a good time. He’ll deny it, but the crowd was chanting “Fuck You Oubre” booing the shit out of Oubre at the line and after he bricked one, what does Stevens do? Sends Olynyk into the game.

And most importantly the Celtics did all of this with Isaiah Thomas having a TERRIBLE game. Just kidding, the dude scored 18 points, but typically the C’s have relied on 30, 40 and 50 point games from THA LITTLE GUY to bail them out.

Now Game 6 is gonna be fun. A total mystery wrapped in an enigma. Celtics could grind one out or they could get blown out again. But come on boys, lets wrap it up and move onto the Eastern Conference Finals so we can get ready for this shit show.

PS – Lets all remember that the Celtics finished with the No. 1 seed and are on the brink of reaching the Eastern Conference Finals AND have the best odds at landing the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft this summer.

Is Kelly Olynyk a Dirty Player? Lets Break It Down.

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Had to address this whole “Kelly Olynyk is a dirty player” storyline thats been gaining steam over the last few days. Look has Olynyk been involved in some scuffles the past couple of years? Sure, but most of them are pretty innocuous. It’s not like he’s going out there socking dudes. For Draymond Green of all people to call Olynyk dirty though is just absurd.

The guy who literally goes around kicking dudes in the DICK is calling our very own Maple Jordan a dirty player.

 

Pot meet kettle. Sit the fuck down Draymond. Even Isaiah said as much when asked about it.

And then Draymond, being the dickhead that he is, clapped back on Isaiah.

Hopefully the C’s pull this Wizard series out and LeBron gets mono or something because I would LOVE to see this matchup in the Finals.

But, back to the point at hand. Is Olynyk a great player? No. Is he an awful player? No. Is he wildly frustrating at times? Yup. But do I think of him as a dirty player? Trying to be as objective as possible even as a Celtics fan, but I just don’t see it. Lets go through some of the more memorable incidents from the past couple of years.

The time Olynyk blew out Kevin Love’s shoulder in the playoffs:

I still think this is just a case of two gangly white guys getting tangled up and one of their noodle arms getting stuck. Love definitely didn’t see it that way though as he went on to rip Olynyk as a dirty player, thus starting the movement. My ruling? Not dirty. Drink more milk, Kevin.

Kelly Olynyk setting a pick on Kelly Oubre in Game 3

This play is literally a pick, probably more like one of the illegal moving screens that Kevin Garnett made famous, but a pick nonetheless. One that knocks Oubre on his ass. There’s nothing malicious or dirty here. Looks like a young guy in Oubre overreacting to a physical play before going up and tossing Olynyk, getting himself ejected. My ruling? Not dirty. Toughen up, Oubre.

I do have to give props to the Wizards owner Ted Leonsis though, definition of a ride or die boss.

 

Either way, here’s a FOUR MINUTE highlight video of Draymond Green dirty plays.

 

PS – Dirty or not dirty, this did make me laugh though.