Scientists Just Changed the Rules on Blood Pressure. Half of Americans Now Have High Blood Pressure

Yahoo – New guidelines lower the threshold for high blood pressure, adding 30 million Americans to those who have the condition, which now plagues nearly half of U.S. adults. High pressure, which for decades has been a top reading of at least 140 or a bottom one of 90, drops to 130 over 80 in advice announced Monday by a dozen medical groups.

In the ultimate bait and switch, half of Americans now apparently have high blood pressure. Well, fuck. This is the definition of moving the goal posts. Americans are phenomenal at getting things done on deadline and finishing things just enough to be passable. Procrastination and doing the bare minimum. Thats what makes America great again.

So if you tell us for decades that our blood pressure needs to be X, then we (except for the morbidly obese) will get somewhere around that number. No ones trying to be an Olympic athlete and have even better BP for no damn reason. So when you scientists up and change the rules on us under the darkness of night, well then we’re all up shits creek.

Telling us that we’re now all suffering from high blood pressure seems like a great way to sell more high blood pressure medicine, but hey maybe thats just me being a big time conspiracy guy. Either way, my blood pressure levels are going to act as if its November 12th, 2017, right before this story broke, and not a day later.

“The change means an additional 14 percent of U.S. adults have the problem, but only 2 percent of these newly added people need medication right away; the rest should try healthier lifestyles, which get much stronger emphasis in the new advice. Poor diets, lack of exercise and other bad habits cause 90 percent of high blood pressure.”

Apparently the new norm is 120/80 vs the previous 140/90. Welp, despite my diet of GrubHub and binging episodes of Dexter somehow I’m at 121/83 so…sucks to be you guys. Good luck with getting your blood pressure under control before your heart explodes.

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