We’ve Been Pronouncing Bill Belichick’s Name Wrong This Whole Time And I For One Am SHOOK

 

Wellllll this is awkward. You mean to tell us for the last 17+ years we have been mispronouncing the football savior of New England’s name? There is just so much to this to address, to dissect, to apologize for. Hard to even pick where to begin.

I guess first and foremost we have to admit this is the most egregious and disrespectful error ever right? Here this guy is delivering a downtrodden, teased fan-base a dynasty laden with 5 titles in 17 years and how is he repaid? By being refused the basic human dignity of having his Goddam name pronounced the right way. And I mean “Belichick” is by no means “Smith” but good Lord, we’ve had how long to get this right?

Next is the fact that Belichick has seen this occur; which means he is either the most graceful, gentle of leaders on that level of power or, on the other hand, possibly the most Snape-like – showing utter contempt for a group of people but never giving even a hint as to the completely intangible reason why. On the gentle side of the coin, I know of another leader with as much consolidated power as Belichick, a Dear one in fact, who if faced with such lazy nomenclature would execute every last one of us via anti-aircraft gun. Sound fun? Didn’t think so. Which makes BB that much more of a saint for putting up with our butchery. On the quietly vindictive side, this could be why he has treated any and all public inquiries directed his way as something between an annoyance and an enraging betrayal or attack on his very existence. Maybe if we just pronounced his surname right once, just once, he’d be happy as pie to tell us what is exactly wrong with Tom Brady’s achilles or why didn’t put in Brian Hoyer at the end of the Buffalo game. (Just kidding).

Last, and the most puzzling, and somewhat disconcerting, aspect of this whole revelation, is, while hearing this occur repeatedly, Belichick never really did correct us all these years. I say never really because I’m half expecting a dusty artifact of Boston sports media to excitedly prmulgate a quote they got from Belichick in the wee 00’s, correcting our pronouncing of his house name, as if they are Charlie finding the last fucking golden ticket. But it’s 2017 and no one remembers now nor cared then about your quarter-page, slow-Tuesday piece in the thicket of the Herald sports section. It stands that in the age of hyper-advanced and social media, through 2 late-stage Belichick/Brady Super Bowls and all the press conferences that came with it, the greatest football coach and football mind of all time (Shut the fuck up, fine, at least of this era) never even bothered to correct the pronunciation of his shallowly regarded last name. I guess it does makes sense, and is almost poetic in a way. His name has nothing to do with who should be the left side gunner when punting from our 41 or where Pat Chung should be lined up on 3rd and 3 just outside of our red zone with the opposing team running 22 personnel, so it really doesn’t matter. However the aforementioned disconcerting aspect is that this could be all part of a diabolical plot of Bill Belichick’s: let them shit on my family tree for 20 years and then I’ll take Tom, go back to Cleveland, and win titles year after year until he’s in his 60’s and I have an oxygen tank on the sideline.

God help us all.

 

 

PS:

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┻┳|•.•)    Massholes mispronounce everything so this is kinda much ado about  nothing.
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About Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody. Views from the 617. Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.
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