Celtics Eat a Bag of Dicks in Game 3, Lose by 30

Well that was less than ideal. The Celtics never lead once in Game 3 and lost to the Cavs in an absolute blowout, 116-86. From the jump the Cavs were the hungrier team, the Celtics looked slow and sloppy with 15 turnovers and they got absolutely worked on the glass with the Cavs crushing them in rebounds 45-34. Cleveland was just more engaged and aggressive on defense and of course shooting 50% from behind the arc helps.

Kyle Korver went 4-4 from 3, JR Smith went 3-4, and LeBron went 3-3 himself. Thats a lot of firepower raining down on the C’s from deep. The Cavs were obviously a 3 point heavy team in the regular season, but it was a stark contrast from the first two games when the Cavs shot 32% and 15% respectively from deep.

Cleveland also stopped relying entirely on LeBron to bail them out. Something I pointed out in Game 2 was how the Celtics had several players in double figures while the Cavs had just 3 (barely). Well in Game 3 the Cavs had SIX players in double digits and the Celtics looked like a high school team.

With that being said LeBron was still incredible with a “quiet” 27 and 12 and was making plays like *this*

Jaylen Brown came crashing back to earth with 10 points after being the Celtics best player the first two games of the series. Marcus Morris was 2/8 from the field for 9 points and was a dreadful -28 on the night. The bad Marcus Smart reared its ugly head after getting his tires pumped up by everyone in Boston for the past week and a half for doing all the little things. In Game 3 he jacked up 4 three pointers and made exactly none of them.

As soon as you saw Guerschon Yabusele enter the game with 4 minutes to go in the first though, you knew it was gonna be a bad night. If the Dancing Bear is in that early you’ve already lost.

Celtics are 1-5 on the road in the playoffs now.

I’ll take the crab juice.*

Al Horford took FOUR fucking shots all night.

Its like everyone ragged on Al all season long for being too passive, for not shooting enough, then he cranked it up in the playoffs and looked like a legit stud. Then in Game 3 he took his foot off the gas and somehow the whole game went to hell. Thats not Tristan Thompson being a Horford antidote; thats Al slipping back into the average monicker.

Everyone on the Celtics took their foot off the gas on Saturday night and I guess thats the danger of such a young team, which shouldn’t really be a surprise. But for god sakes LeBron James is Jason Voorhees; do not let him up off the mat. He’s not dead until he’s dead. If this series comes back to Boston tied 2-2 I will not sleep well.

Home cooking was a factor as well with Jaylen Brown having four fouls before the fans were back from getting beers at halftime. His fifth foul was a disaster of a defensive effort and well deserved, but it was interesting to note that Boston’s clear cut best player in Games 1-2 is immediately chucked into foul trouble in the first road game of the series.

Silver lining of the night was former Celtic (draft pick) Ante Zizic chucking one off the back of the goddamn backboard. I legitimately laughed out loud despite the 30 point shellacking.

Uncle Drew still looks like possibly the worst movie of all time and Kyrie Irving isn’t even able to blind us to that fact with his play on the court.

I honestly think Mark Jackson might strangle the life out of Jeff Van Gundy before this series is over. These guys legitimately do not like each other and with a 30 point blowout there was plenty of time for these two to subtweet each other live on TV in front of America.

Game 4 will be a pivotal point in the series as the Celtics will either snap out of it and be one step away from offing LeBron or the series will go back to Boston tied and I will be more nauseous than a pregnant woman. Game 4 tips off Monday night at 8:30, see ya there.

*If you get that reference then you and I are now good friends.

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