So in this game, we are going to take a headline that smashes two stories into one like a freshman (or 29 year old blogger) with whiskey dick. Our first contestant, from Yahoo:
“Elon Musk revives claim that Thai cave rescue here is a “pedo” after denying he cried in interview“
Well now. Having fun yet? So there are really three stories here, as a special surprise for our first round. The stories are a.)Elon Musk, fuckhead extraordinaire, called the guy who rescued the kids from that cave in Thailand b.)He already had called said hero diver a pedo, but no one listened because of his extraordinary fuckheadedness, so he yelled it again from the rooftops c.)O and he got called out for crying in an interview so added that he in fact, had not cried.
We’ll pause so you can guess what transpired. Ready?
Soooo I breezed through the story because I am STEADFAST to our readers (Hi Mr. and Mrs. Z!) that I refuse to do research. But it would seem all of this went down on twitter and Yahoo has sort of just summed up a day of his 280 character word vomit. He actually brought the crying thing up first. I guess the New York Times said while being interviewed he began crying over not being able to see his kids enough. Naturally, this segued into, “speaking of kids, remember that fucking creepy hero diver guy?!”
First of all my guy, some kids lost in a cave in a 3rd world country is old news the day after their rescued. I don’t think they were even on Oprah and I’m pretty sure she even interviewed the raft Elian floated over on. 2nd of all to categorically deny missing your kids is just unecessary. I get you need to hold up your robot reputation, but as the real Jeffrey Lebowski once said, strong men do cry.