I hope this column is enjoyable and an easy read, not a Vance McDonald stiff arm to the skull.
1-2 for me this week. Fournette and Dalvin Cook being hurt sunk one of my teams as I had to field some garbage RBs. Drew Brees was electric for me though. My one piece of fantasy advice is if you ever have anyone on your roster from the NFC South and two of the teams are playing each other that week, start them. Saints/Falcons always seem to end in some ridiculous score and the wilder the finish, the more fantasy points you’re going to get. Also, my real life Bills thrashed the Vikings so even though I didn’t have the greatest fantasy week, Bills Mafia was reborn under Josh Allen.
So I lost in week 3 but find solace in the fact that it took Gronk, both RBs, and my defense shitting the bed, changing the sheets, and then shitting the bed again for that to happen. Stafford played well (against the fucking Pats) and Michael Thomas continues to have the same success on the football field that Dave Thomas had in the fast food industry
We’re swimming in a sea of mediocrity folks as I got my first win of the season but split on my two leagues, bringing my season record to an underwhelming 1-5. On a more somber note; a roster spot just opened up on my squad as my dude Jimmy G tore his ACL on Sunday. I may just keep him on my roster out of respect. A fantasy football moratorium if you will.
The Big Z Fantasy Empire improved to 2-1 in Week 3, but boy did I have to sweat it out. I didn’t take my first lead of the week until the fourth quarter of the Monday night game when James Conner put me over the top. I only needed 7 points to win, and he took almost 60 minutes to put up the 9 points that gave me a three-point win.
Oh, and did I mention this was all while Matt Ryan was on my bench? Ryan put up 40 points while Russell Wilson got me 15. Instead of having a Toilet Bowl for last place every year, they should just give a trophy of a horse’s ass to the player with the most bench points. I’d be well on my way to that trophy this season.
As much as I hate a fantasy QB controversy, I may have to make the switch this week. I’ll also have to survive Christian McCaffrey’s bye week, so Week 4 looks like a daunting battle already
Got the double victory this week for the first time in 2018! Although I would NEVER root for my fantasy team over my real-life team, maaaaybe Brady having one of the worst games of his life this week didn’t turn out all that bad for me. Considering Brady was projected to score 20 more points than he did and I beat my opponent by 19, at least there’s a silver lining. I also only had one guy score less than six points, which was Amari Cooper, who could quite possibly be the most frustrating player to own in fantasy right now. The guy should be a stud, but has gone from two points in Week 1 to 16 points in Week 2 then right back down to two this week. Maddening. Carlos Hyde is looking like a fifth-round STEAL for me as well, especially with Baker now running the show in Cleveland. Also, my sneaky ROY candidate, Kerryon Johnson, looks like he’s ready to take over in the Motor City and may be coming off my bench for the first time this week. It was a rough 0-2 start, but things are now looking up for the Purple Cobras.
My other team continued to roll as well, even with Kirk Cousins and Larry Fitzgerald combining for a measly 13 points. Cousins will bounce back, and I am praying to everything holy that Josh Rosen can turn the Cardinals offense around, because I also have an incredibly disappointing David Johnson, whose week was fortunately salvaged with a receiving TD. Michael Thomas and Jarvis Landry are a nasty WR1 and WR2 in a full-point PPR, and somehow I was able to add Matt Breida on waivers last week. He got me 14 points on Sunday and will be a great FLEX option moving forward along with guys like John Brown and Bilal Powell. Catch City Bitch is now 2-1 and feeling good.