The 300s Bloggers’ Atmosphere-William Fichtner Open Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 5

Welcome children to our weekly round up of self-degradation in the name of pride and maybe a couple hundred bucks.

I went to Atmosphere last night which was great. Red could not attend as he had a meeting in Buffalo with C-list actor and “Hey, it’s that guy!” HOFer William Fichtner. Why does this all matter? Well, the subject of this weeks transmission was going to be whether or not the staff here should assume control of Big Z’s team, a la the NBA with the Hornets, due to basic and categorical incompetence. I mean the guy has more disdain for the bench than John Kavanaugh GABOOOM.

Let’s start the show.

Mattes

Seriously, Amari Cooper??!! Two games this season with 10-plus catches and 115-plus yards (for both of which he was on my bench), and another three with two catches or less and under 20 yards (YUP, started him ALL THREE times). This man is single-handedly submarining my fantasy season. I’m now 1-4. I hate you, Amari Cooper.

Looking good in the other league at least, especially with Mark Ingram back in the fold. David Johnson finally woke up, too. Back above .500 at 3-2 and feeling fine.

Big Z (For the love of fucking God)

It was bad news good news for my roster in Week 5. The bad news was I sat 50 points on my bench. James Conner exploded for 34, Eric Ebron posted 26 and Russel Wilson scored 18 points. I finally went with Matt Ryan at QB and all it did was lose me points.

The good news was that I lost by 53 points. Losing by 53 with a roster full of holes sucks, but losing by 3 with an optimal lineup is infuriating. Destroy the remote control and immediately drive to Comcast to get a new one infuriating.

Blogger’s Note: Formal Inquiry launched. Red and I will depose Big Z via podcast later this week to determine his suitability.


Red

So I am on a goddamn roll winning 2 weeks in a row. One more and thats called a winning streak. I also won in both of my leagues, but special shoutout to Ryan Succop for getting me 15 points. I was actually at this Titans game in Buffalo and it was quite a thrill watching your guy kick four field goals in person. Even an average week from Succop and I lose, but his massive day put me over the top. The season is still alive.

Joey B

I squeakkkkked away with a win by about 8 points thanks to a monster game by James Connor and Rob Gronkowski getting some solid PPR. Dion Lewis laid a fucking egg thought and I have the Stafford-Tate connection as well as Michael Thomas sitting next week. So I’ll be 3-3 for anyone wondering.

Papa G

If you want an idea how I did this week at 12:30 pm Sunday I had these guys in opposite roster spots:

Somehow it didn’t even matter and I lost by 75.

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About Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody. Views from the 617. Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.
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