The Marlins Are Replacing the Ugly Home Run Statue With Irony

That statue perfectly encapsulates the Miami Marlins; gaudy, over priced, and out of place. It’s one I’ve written about extensively in the past.

Did anyone else realize this sculpture that goes off after every home run cost $2.5 MILLION DOLLARS. That is fucking bananas. The sculpture that looks like Miami Vice got drunk and puked in a coy pond. The thing that looks like a mashup between the New York Mets apple in center field and the old Lets Go Fishin game.”

You knew it was going to be the first thing Derek Jeter kicked to the curb when he moved in. Derek Jeter is a man of class and sophistication. The technicolor pyrotechnic fish statue?

Not so much. So the team that had 39 of the 50 lowest attended games in baseball last year is solving their problem by adding the one thing they absolutely don’t need….more seats.

The Marlins couldn’t fill a minor league ballpark and now they’re adding even more seats? Brilliant. The absolute definition of irony. Hey, at least it’ll drive ticket prices down even further than they already are if I’m ever in southern Florida like Big Z was.

Keep doing you, Jeets.

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